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...like some kind of jack rabbit on god damn steroids  

EnigmaInitiative 53F
2227 posts
7/30/2020 5:03 pm
...like some kind of jack rabbit on god damn steroids


Continued, first comment

In a sense, sexuality is the built-in psychedelic experience that only a very few people manage to evade.

~Terence McKenna


EnigmaInitiative 53F
4246 posts
7/30/2020 5:04 pm

Throughout the years, I have led a pretty active sex life. I am a woman who is, sometimes, okay with casual sex. On my terms, of course, because lord knows I have a well developed plan of “attack” honed by many years of engaging in various one night love affairs and other forms of casual sexual relationships.

It had been a bit, and I was feeling like I should dust off the cobwebs after having left a long term sexless relationship. I got myself a hotel room; got ready; and went out to some of the bars in the area. No, really, I went bar hopping.

This is back when I first moved to Florida, in 2013, engaging in the dating scene here. This time, unlike past efforts, I didn't have to put in quite as much flirting/eye contact stuff while playing with my straw as I usually do. (Yes, that's my move, the whole thing..) Ole dude just sauntered right up without so much as me having to gaze in his direction.

We talked for a bit. He was polite and respectful to me and the waitstaff. I called winner winner, dude's my sinner. In my head, of course, because I'm not crass...in public. I invited him back to my hotel room, making clear that this was one night and nothing more, and that's when it all fell apart.

First off, bad kisser. But, whatever, I wanted to get the pipe laid, I wasn't all that interested in romance. So, I kept breaking with him by making excuses about not being able to breathe. You know, because his slobber was all over my face. Don't judge me, like I said, pipe laid..romance unimportant at that moment.

I'm digging through my purse and cursing at myself for bringing my largest bag, instead of something a little more manageable. And, suddenly, ole dude:

“What are you looking for?”

“Condom” I reply

“Why do we need a condom?”

I turned around and said, “If you want to have sex with me, you're wearing a condom”

“But, I'm clean and you look clean”

I wanted to smack my head so hard on the table in the room to make sure I wasn't living in some kind of weird alternate reality. I should have asked him to leave. But, no, pipe laid. Had to get the fucking pipe laid. I went back to looking through my purse and said;

“You can't tell by looking at someone. You don't want to wear a condom, you may as well leave.”

I found the condom and he acquiesced.

So, there we are, fucking, on the bed. I ask the dude to make an adjustment. Just one adjustment to his angle of entry. He just wasn't hitting me where I needed. Dude wouldn't listen. Just kept pumping like some kind of jack rabbit on god damn steroids. I mean, what the fuck is up with that? Fucking disappointing. Sure, pipe laid, but not what I was looking for.

He orgasmed with a grunt, got up and walked into the bathroom talking about “doing it again”. I brushed it off with talking about how tired I was. He asked if I came, I muttered something about “if you have to ask, I didn't” under my breath because he seemed like the sensitive sort who couldn't handle the truth. (Ya know, that the experience was lackluster enough that I was questioning my stance on casual sex in general.) We said our goodbyes and I never saw him again.

That was not the last time I had disappointing sex, even if it was the last time I set my sights on having a one night stand.

So, people, what is your stance on one night stands?. Something you're game for, or it's a pass from you?

In a sense, sexuality is the built-in psychedelic experience that only a very few people manage to evade.

~Terence McKenna


ClassicFriction 59M
943 posts
7/30/2020 5:42 pm

Warning Sign: If the guy is too cheap and stupid to bring his own condom, it's time to
bail. I get that you wanted the pipe laid and I'm not judging. It's your body.

Regarding one night stands -- For me, I have to feel like it could be more than one
night even if it isn't. Otherwise, I'm not going to be fully into it the way I should be
for maximum pleasure for both of us.


AnewWoman 63F
266 posts
7/30/2020 5:50 pm

I only sought a one night stand once, not to say all the others became ongoing. The one I sought ended up prematurely ejaculating before he could get his pants off. Killed the evening to say the least. The next morning I realized I was glad I hadn't fucked him and from then on only sought ongoing friend with benefits type relationships.


Wok2016 39M  
592 posts
7/30/2020 6:15 pm

I have almost zero experience with it, but my two cents would be that a one-night stand could be great in an unexpected, where-did-that-girl-come-from way. I'm not sure I would ever go out explicitly looking to lay pipe with someone just for the sake of doing it. I can feel like the bar might just get lower and lower as the evening progresses, and why settle if you don't have to.

To each his/her own though. Sometimes you just need to feel someone I suppose.


justaguyinalaska 55M
878 posts
7/30/2020 6:34 pm

When I was younger and not at all woke on how our minds and our bodies and our emotions connect in sexy-time, one night stands were a *thing*. Many years and many relationships later, while it is not "off the table", they are less seductive. If for no other reason, the sex in one night stands (as your teachable moment validates) tends to be mediocre at best and a long, steep descent in hell at worst. Ironically, although I have less time now than I did in my teens and twenties, it is more fulfilling (and orgasmic!) to me to take the time to make my connections authentic.


Massass1963 58M

7/30/2020 6:57 pm

    Quoting AnewWoman:
    I only sought a one night stand once, not to say all the others became ongoing. The one I sought ended up prematurely ejaculating before he could get his pants off. Killed the evening to say the least. The next morning I realized I was glad I hadn't fucked him and from then on only sought ongoing friend with benefits type relationships.
Premature ejaculating before he got his pants off? I have never heard of that...ever. Most women just consider premature ejaculation when a man cums before she does. I can only imagine how women would feel if they realized men measure THEIR performance by whether they cum or not.
Why didn't you continue? Many, many men can cum more than one time. I have engaged in entire evening of fucking... with short breaks, naturally, and cum several times.


author51 58F
124028 posts
7/30/2020 10:44 pm

I have only had one in my life and will not again as it had no meaning for me..But it was fun for a change..lol.xoxo


EnigmaInitiative 53F
4246 posts
7/31/2020 7:59 am

    Quoting ClassicFriction:
    Warning Sign: If the guy is too cheap and stupid to bring his own condom, it's time to
    bail. I get that you wanted the pipe laid and I'm not judging. It's your body.

    Regarding one night stands -- For me, I have to feel like it could be more than one
    night even if it isn't. Otherwise, I'm not going to be fully into it the way I should be
    for maximum pleasure for both of us.
I hear ya, though I will say that I doubt it was the guy couldn't afford the condom, more like he just didn't want to wear one. There's a shocking number of people I've met over the years who have no concept of safe sex.

That's what I started believing, by the way, that one night stands weren't worth it because more often then not, people don't put in the effort.

In a sense, sexuality is the built-in psychedelic experience that only a very few people manage to evade.

~Terence McKenna


EnigmaInitiative 53F
4246 posts
7/31/2020 8:01 am

    Quoting AnewWoman:
    I only sought a one night stand once, not to say all the others became ongoing. The one I sought ended up prematurely ejaculating before he could get his pants off. Killed the evening to say the least. The next morning I realized I was glad I hadn't fucked him and from then on only sought ongoing friend with benefits type relationships.
Oh, man, yeah, I can see that.

In a sense, sexuality is the built-in psychedelic experience that only a very few people manage to evade.

~Terence McKenna


EnigmaInitiative 53F
4246 posts
7/31/2020 8:03 am

    Quoting Wok2016:
    I have almost zero experience with it, but my two cents would be that a one-night stand could be great in an unexpected, where-did-that-girl-come-from way. I'm not sure I would ever go out explicitly looking to lay pipe with someone just for the sake of doing it. I can feel like the bar might just get lower and lower as the evening progresses, and why settle if you don't have to.

    To each his/her own though. Sometimes you just need to feel someone I suppose.
I don't know that I ever settled, but I hear what you're saying.

In a sense, sexuality is the built-in psychedelic experience that only a very few people manage to evade.

~Terence McKenna


EnigmaInitiative 53F
4246 posts
7/31/2020 8:04 am

    Quoting justaguyinalaska:
    When I was younger and not at all woke on how our minds and our bodies and our emotions connect in sexy-time, one night stands were a *thing*. Many years and many relationships later, while it is not "off the table", they are less seductive. If for no other reason, the sex in one night stands (as your teachable moment validates) tends to be mediocre at best and a long, steep descent in hell at worst. Ironically, although I have less time now than I did in my teens and twenties, it is more fulfilling (and orgasmic!) to me to take the time to make my connections authentic.
It's true, I realized after this time, that one night stands weren't worth it. Thanks for stopping by and responding.

In a sense, sexuality is the built-in psychedelic experience that only a very few people manage to evade.

~Terence McKenna


EnigmaInitiative 53F
4246 posts
7/31/2020 8:12 am

    Quoting Massass1963:
    Premature ejaculating before he got his pants off? I have never heard of that...ever. Most women just consider premature ejaculation when a man cums before she does. I can only imagine how women would feel if they realized men measure THEIR performance by whether they cum or not.
    Why didn't you continue? Many, many men can cum more than one time. I have engaged in entire evening of fucking... with short breaks, naturally, and cum several times.
I won't presume to answer for her, but I did want to chime in here because our perspectives are wildly different.

I have to wonder who you're basing your information on, how many men have you been with?

I've been with quite a few men who ejaculated before getting their pants off, it's not all that uncommon.

Most women just consider premature ejaculation when a man cums before she does.

I also have to wonder where this comes from, most men ejaculate before a woman orgasms. It, generally, takes more time for women to reach peak than it does men. Most women I've met understand that and wouldn't call it premature.

Many, many men can cum more than one time.

And, many, many men can't.

In a sense, sexuality is the built-in psychedelic experience that only a very few people manage to evade.

~Terence McKenna


EnigmaInitiative 53F
4246 posts
7/31/2020 8:13 am

    Quoting  :

Thanks for stopping by

In a sense, sexuality is the built-in psychedelic experience that only a very few people manage to evade.

~Terence McKenna


EnigmaInitiative 53F
4246 posts
7/31/2020 8:14 am

    Quoting author51:
    I have only had one in my life and will not again as it had no meaning for me..But it was fun for a change..lol.xoxo
I hear that, lacks fulfillment.

Happy Friday, my friend.

In a sense, sexuality is the built-in psychedelic experience that only a very few people manage to evade.

~Terence McKenna


EnigmaInitiative 53F
4246 posts
7/31/2020 8:14 am

    Quoting  :

I know, right?

In a sense, sexuality is the built-in psychedelic experience that only a very few people manage to evade.

~Terence McKenna


Paulxx001 64M
21635 posts
7/31/2020 10:15 am

I'm visualizing that slobber. Eeeee...
One night stands? 🤔
Mixed results... at best. Not my favorite, unless you luck out with a partner who's playing the game at the same level as you are. 🌴🍷🍷😎❗


jajo696 66F
3967 posts
7/31/2020 11:17 am

Enig.....you set out for the pipe...and thats exactly what you got. He didnt care about you....your feelings, if he was hitting the right spot or not. Once he got going....yup...jack rabbit mode. Plus...no condom....you look clean....slobber....oh man....this was not good on many many levels...lol

Ive never gone for the pipe. My stance has always been, with just a little bit of feeling between the two...everything else can be worked on and the physical ness can be enhanced, as well....with two parties that care for one another~~


EnigmaInitiative 53F
4246 posts
7/31/2020 12:36 pm

    Quoting Paulxx001:
    I'm visualizing that slobber. Eeeee...
    One night stands? 🤔
    Mixed results... at best. Not my favorite, unless you luck out with a partner who's playing the game at the same level as you are. 🌴🍷🍷😎❗
It was bad...

Ya know, I hadn't thought of it that way. A partner who's playing the game at the same level is exactly the issue I often find myself in, even when I'm looking for something less structured.

In a sense, sexuality is the built-in psychedelic experience that only a very few people manage to evade.

~Terence McKenna


EnigmaInitiative 53F
4246 posts
7/31/2020 12:44 pm

    Quoting jajo696:
    Enig.....you set out for the pipe...and thats exactly what you got. He didnt care about you....your feelings, if he was hitting the right spot or not. Once he got going....yup...jack rabbit mode. Plus...no condom....you look clean....slobber....oh man....this was not good on many many levels...lol

    Ive never gone for the pipe. My stance has always been, with just a little bit of feeling between the two...everything else can be worked on and the physical ness can be enhanced, as well....with two parties that care for one another~~
Jajo, I know, girl. I still admonish myself to this day about going through with it, I suppose I just convinced myself that I needed it. (Which I didn't, but that's a whole other story. LO. I've learned a lot from that experience, that's for sure.

I would agree with your sentiment, if you add the caveat that both are willing to work at that physicality. Because, girl, I've been there too...where the feelings are there, but the physical stuff was bad, and had to break up with the guy.

My issue remains that I prefer sexual intercourse to most other forms of sex. Aka, Enigma Lurves the pipe laid.

In a sense, sexuality is the built-in psychedelic experience that only a very few people manage to evade.

~Terence McKenna


Massass1963 58M

8/1/2020 10:12 am

    Quoting EnigmaInitiative:
    I won't presume to answer for her, but I did want to chime in here because our perspectives are wildly different.

    I have to wonder who you're basing your information on, how many men have you been with?

    I've been with quite a few men who ejaculated before getting their pants off, it's not all that uncommon.

    Most women just consider premature ejaculation when a man cums before she does.

    I also have to wonder where this comes from, most men ejaculate before a woman orgasms. It, generally, takes more time for women to reach peak than it does men. Most women I've met understand that and wouldn't call it premature.

    Many, many men can cum more than one time.

    And, many, many men can't.
Ok....I haven't been with any men...at all. BUT I have read tons of medical and sexual literature on both genders sexuality. There is actually no real definition of premature ejaculation. That is because there is no IDEAL length of time. If one wishes to judge a man as "premature" then what about women being "delayed" orgasm? As soon as a woman (or a man) starts publishing or going public over a previous partner's "performance" many will be reluctant to pursue such a "lover" for fear over their experience also being published if not up to the expectations of such a man or woman.
Statistically, men average 7 minutes to orgasm. Note this is from the start of arousal, not necessarily the start of intercourse. So if he is orally or manually stimulated for 5 minutes that may mean only a couple more during intercourse. Women average 10. So, if a woman takes LONGER, should we brand her as having a sexual "dysfunction" of "delayed orgasm"?
SOmething to consider when we live in a society that loves to fault a man's sexual "performance" but cut a blank check on women's performance or dysfunctions.


EnigmaInitiative 53F
4246 posts
8/1/2020 12:38 pm

    Quoting Massass1963:
    Ok....I haven't been with any men...at all. BUT I have read tons of medical and sexual literature on both genders sexuality. There is actually no real definition of premature ejaculation. That is because there is no IDEAL length of time. If one wishes to judge a man as "premature" then what about women being "delayed" orgasm? As soon as a woman (or a man) starts publishing or going public over a previous partner's "performance" many will be reluctant to pursue such a "lover" for fear over their experience also being published if not up to the expectations of such a man or woman.
    Statistically, men average 7 minutes to orgasm. Note this is from the start of arousal, not necessarily the start of intercourse. So if he is orally or manually stimulated for 5 minutes that may mean only a couple more during intercourse. Women average 10. So, if a woman takes LONGER, should we brand her as having a sexual "dysfunction" of "delayed orgasm"?
    SOmething to consider when we live in a society that loves to fault a man's sexual "performance" but cut a blank check on women's performance or dysfunctions.
It wasn't the data about premature ejaculation where our perspectives differ, it's the data regarding how women/society react to it where we differ.

To be clear, my understanding is premature ejaculation is ejaculation occurs prior to when the man wants it to...that's it. That's my understanding based on what I've read, and in my opinion there's no negative judgment involved.

As I said in my response, most women I've spoken to personally KNOW men are faster, and they don't judge a man negatively based on it.

Would you please point me to the evidence that men are being judged negatively for having premature ejaculation when they're actually average?

In a sense, sexuality is the built-in psychedelic experience that only a very few people manage to evade.

~Terence McKenna


Massass1963 58M

8/2/2020 7:48 am

    Quoting EnigmaInitiative:
    It wasn't the data about premature ejaculation where our perspectives differ, it's the data regarding how women/society react to it where we differ.

    To be clear, my understanding is premature ejaculation is ejaculation occurs prior to when the man wants it to...that's it. That's my understanding based on what I've read, and in my opinion there's no negative judgment involved.

    As I said in my response, most women I've spoken to personally KNOW men are faster, and they don't judge a man negatively based on it.

    Would you please point me to the evidence that men are being judged negatively for having premature ejaculation when they're actually average?
There is a couple things I'd add to this. If Premature Ejaculation is a when a man comes before he wants to, which IS what I've read in one article, then it opens the door for ALL men to have premature ejaculation at any point. If I wish to last say 10 minutes so as to hopefully come with my lover, but I come in 8, then I just had premature ejaculation.
Now about the negative aspect to this. The very term "premature ejaculation" was coined as a negative term. It is a term of inadequacy by it's very language.
So, this leads to another curiosity; why is there no such term for women regarding whether they come right away (believe it or not, I read stories, though probably mostly B.S., on THIS site about women who come "instantly") or more often don't come at all, regardless of the amount of effort on the partner's part? Now I do know that the likely reaction is that women can come "multiple" times and therefore it doesn't matter. According to WebMD only 13% of women can actually come multiple times and most often that is twice, not 20 times LOL. Amazingly, 80% can't come at all during intercourse. But, instead of "branding" the women as "delayed orgasm" or "sexual dysfunction" the first "blame" is placed on the MAN!
Most importantly, though, is that as soon as a woman brings up ANY aspect of her past lover's "performance" it shows one of two things; FIRST, she IS using it in a way to negatively judge him. SECONDLY, if the first is NOT true, then she is ignorant about how a man would feel about this information being broadcast to the general public.... the FIRST is usually true.


EnigmaInitiative 53F
4246 posts
8/2/2020 10:12 am

    Quoting Massass1963:
    There is a couple things I'd add to this. If Premature Ejaculation is a when a man comes before he wants to, which IS what I've read in one article, then it opens the door for ALL men to have premature ejaculation at any point. If I wish to last say 10 minutes so as to hopefully come with my lover, but I come in 8, then I just had premature ejaculation.
    Now about the negative aspect to this. The very term "premature ejaculation" was coined as a negative term. It is a term of inadequacy by it's very language.
    So, this leads to another curiosity; why is there no such term for women regarding whether they come right away (believe it or not, I read stories, though probably mostly B.S., on THIS site about women who come "instantly") or more often don't come at all, regardless of the amount of effort on the partner's part? Now I do know that the likely reaction is that women can come "multiple" times and therefore it doesn't matter. According to WebMD only 13% of women can actually come multiple times and most often that is twice, not 20 times LOL. Amazingly, 80% can't come at all during intercourse. But, instead of "branding" the women as "delayed orgasm" or "sexual dysfunction" the first "blame" is placed on the MAN!
    Most importantly, though, is that as soon as a woman brings up ANY aspect of her past lover's "performance" it shows one of two things; FIRST, she IS using it in a way to negatively judge him. SECONDLY, if the first is NOT true, then she is ignorant about how a man would feel about this information being broadcast to the general public.... the FIRST is usually true.
I don't see premature as a negative term. The dictionary, itself, is: occurring or done before the usual or proper time; too early. It's a descriptive term, true, but you're the one attributing negative connotations to it, there is none inherent in the word itself.

For this reason, I agree to disagree.

Have a wonderful week!

In a sense, sexuality is the built-in psychedelic experience that only a very few people manage to evade.

~Terence McKenna


fashionablegma 78F

8/9/2020 10:01 pm

Oh i not that sort of lady no more,it was fun when i enjoyed picking up tall handsome bad boys in nasty pubs and clubs that were on wrong side of town well away from my comfortable lifestyle,just a phase i went through,not dissing anyone who enjoys this sort of thing


EnigmaInitiative replies on 8/10/2020 8:39 am:
It was a rather long phase for me, but not something I've done in about seven years. I learned that more effort is put forth the more they know you.

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