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Gypsy  

EnigmaInitiative 52F  
2509 posts
12/4/2019 5:09 pm
Gypsy


Will Continue, First Comment

Secret Agent Rabbit Origin Story

The Origin Story has begun


EnigmaInitiative 52F  
2713 posts
12/4/2019 5:11 pm

I Will Survive
Grace
Bad Bad Leroy Brown
The Logical Song
Hotel California
Stuck In the Middle with You
I39m a Believer
Bohemian Rhapsody
How to Forget
Suspicious Minds
The Joker
Killing Me Softly with His Song
You Dont Bring Me Flowers
Crazy Train
Change The World
Power of Love
Sweet Dreams are Made of This
Mr Blue Sky
You Matter to Me
Change
Unlonely
Mr Curiosity
Love is Still the Answer
Material World
Beat It
Landslide

In July of 2016, when I was trying to make it to the Democratic National Convention in support of Bernie Sanders, I was hacked. When my paranoia took over, I allowed my favorite aunt to talk me into heading back to Florida to safety. But, not before I spent time in a homeless shelter; and spent time seeing how people with less than I do live. When I finally remembered that I had enough money to check into a hotel, the hotel's system was down. I had to pay in cash.

In August of this year, I was hacked again, and I checked into a hotel under Nick's name because things were getting deep. That night, the entire block where I was staying had the internet go down. Many hotel goers had to pay for their rooms with cash. I went to a restaurant and their debit card system was down, cash only.

This year, after announcing on the internet I was headed to Detroit, the hotel where Logan0867 and I always stay had internet trouble and we had to pay cash. A hotel I've taken pictures of and put on the internet, on Facebook, where I had unblocked the Comedian. You know, where this whole hacking nightmare began both in 2016 and this year.

Now, look, I'm not saying all these are absolutely connected, but it's weird, don't you think? I'm a luddite (a person opposed to new technology or ways of working.) in many ways, though I'm not opposed to new technology. Let's just say I have a healthy fear of it, enough of a one that it's almost ironic that I support a presidential candidate that speaks so heavily on the automation of America.

And, that I was accused of being a bot so many times on Twitter, you know that shit is funny. Here I am a disabled middle aged cat lady who grew up in an era before the internet and social media, yet I'm really fucking good at it. It's just that when I moved away from Michigan, I missed the connections I had there so I spent a LOT of time on the internet.

I don't connect with a lot of people on a deep level. Sure, I can have a conversation with almost everyone, but the Debster is philosophical and has experienced life in a way that many could never imagine. I've lived the life of a traveler, the road is more my home than any room with four walls ever could be. It's why I refer to myself as a gypsy so often, it suits my perception of myself. I'm much happier and more at peace when I'm traveling.

It's just super expensive to travel, and I need to have a homebase to come back to when I'm tired of the road. Shoot, if I had a motorhome or even a converted van, trust that I'd be living in it and not this house. I'm much more comfortable going from town to town and discovering new things along the way.

Nick, within a year of meeting me, told me that I reminded him of the main character in the movie Chocolat. For those that don't know the movie:
When mysterious Vianne and her child arrive in a tranquil French town in the winter of 1959, no one could have imagined the impact that she and her spirited daughter would have on the community stubbornly rooted in tradition. Within days, she opens an unusual chocolate shop, across the square from the church. Her ability to perceive her customers' desires and satisfy them with just the right confection, coaxes the villagers to abandon themselves to temptation -- just as Lent begins.

I bake and write, and sometimes make chocolate. But, I've impacted people in ways they never imagined when they met me. I'm not saying I'm perfect or anything of the sort, I certainly don't believe I'm better than anyone. I'm just different, and have a different perspective of the world because of all the trauma I've experienced throughout my life.

Having Logan hold me at the bus station when I arrived sure felt like home, but so did coming back here to my guys when the trip was over. Home, for me, is more of an abstract feeling that's associated with the people I'm surrounded by. I feel as though the reason I feel so much more comfortable taking the bus than I do flying has a bit to do with my fear of flying, but also that I just plain don't feel judged by the people on the bus. People on planes are much more...hmmmm....bitchy than their counterparts on the bus.

Poor people, generally speaking, are much more kind than those with money. And, that, my friends, has been my perspective throughout my whole life. I grew up in Middle Class America, my graduating class of over six hundred had one person of color. I have lived the life of money.

When I married my first husband, he was a private first class in the army, E3, 68Bravo, Helicopter Mechanic. Trust, they don't pay soldiers nearly enough now, and they certainly didn't back in the eighties either. Plus, there was a promotions freeze due to the fact that we were living in times of peace. Oh yes, it was super difficult to make it past a Specialist four back then. I learned hardship first hand.

After my first divorce, I was dirt poor. Like living on the streets poor, not knowing where my next meal would come from poor. I spent months in psych wards, being misdiagnosed with everything from schizophrenia to bipolar. What I am is a sensitive woman who has Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder who doesn't “people” well, especially with those who are takers.

Logan, though, he's a giver, and being with him was and is a pleasant experience. It has been since I met him here on Passion in 2007 or 08, can't remember which. We connected from the start of our relationship, spending hours watching dvd copies of the television show Titus. (Titus is an American dark comedy sitcom that debuted on Fox in 2000. The series was created by its star, Christopher Titus, Jack Kenny, and Brian Hargrove.) He introduced me to the show, and it and he tickled me to no end.

He seemed to understand my need for freedom in a way that many men try to manipulate. He, honestly, was the first person in my life to just accept me for me without trying to change anything about me. Shit, even after I moved here to Florida in 2013, we stayed connected. We stayed connected through my reentering monogamy several times, and still came out the other side stronger. He, simply, “gets me”, even when my mental illness rears it's ugly head. He's right there to listen, and allow me to just...well...be crazy and not try to “fix it” or tell me how to live my life. It's relaxing to be with him.

But, even Logan I know I couldn't handle full time. I just don't like to be tied down for very long, it depresses me. I mean, shit, I look back at the last three years and I can see it so clearly. I denied my traveling spirit, and it affected me far more than I expected it to. I know this depression wasn't completely about giving up sex, it was also about the fact that I stifled my free spirited ways to soothe my maternal families' fears about my mental illness.

There's a reason I 'm telling you all of this, and I haven't gone too far into what happened in Michigan. It has to do with the fact that I was afraid to call my family when I got there. These last few months took a toll on my relationship with them. Kicking my sister out; and confronting them about their emotional neglect of me online...well? Errr...yeah, I don't like confrontation.

So, the first night I was in Michigan, I didn't call anyone. Logan and I spent time talking, canoodling, snuggling (it was cold, dammit), and just being a couple who missed one another. There was a lot of catching up to do, and only a wee bit of it had to do with sex that first day. Oh no, my friends, I needed comforting, not sex. The trips, both to Maine from Florida and Michigan from Maine, were long and often cramped. My body was wracked with muscle knots.

That's not to mention that Logan was super surprised I even came to Michigan. Remember, I told you all, I started a fight with him. It was back in August when I was hacked on Facebook, and I was talking with all these people online who were using voice synthesizers to change their voices. I was REAL fucking paranoid and wasn't sure if I was talking with him.

Plus, there was a part of me that wanted to protect him from my hacker. His business is online, and I didn't want it or him to be affected by what I was doing. So, yeah, I picked a fight and stopped talking with him. The first time we spoke again was when I made the phone call from Maine to say I was coming to Michigan and could he pick me up from the bus station. Poor Guy had his own emotional upheaval that week.

He took it like a champ, and trust I got the spankings I've so been begging for. So, don't you worry, we..him and I? We're better than ever, and that's a testament to the power of acceptance. Without Logan to help get me out of my head in Michigan, I'm pretty sure I would have been locked up in another psych ward. It was that bad, people, I just didn't know who I could trust.

And, that's where I'm going to leave it.

Next up: Logan and I see the sights.

Thank You for Reading

Gypsy

by

Fleetwood Mac

So I'm back to the velvet underground
Back to the floor that I love
To a room with some lace and paper flowers
Back to the gypsy that I was
To the gypsy that I was
And it all comes down to you
Well, you know that it does, well
Lightning strikes maybe once, maybe twice
Oh and it lights up the night
And you see your gypsy
You see your gypsy
To the gypsy
That remains
Her face says freedom
With a little fear
I have no fear
I have only love
And if I was a child
And the child was enough
Enough for me to love
Enough to love
She is dancing away from you now
She was just a wish
She was just a wish
And her memory is all that is left for you now
You see your gypsy, oh
You see your gypsy
Ooh ooh, oh oh, oh oh oh
Goodness strikes
Maybe once, maybe twice
And it all comes down to you
Ooh oh, and it all comes down to you
Lightning strikes
Maybe once, maybe twice (oh)
I still see your bright eyes, bright eyes
(And it all comes down to you)
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Stevie Nicks

Secret Agent Rabbit Origin Story

The Origin Story has begun


Sexualcrimsonho 30M
2 posts
12/4/2019 5:57 pm

Beautiful pic


EnigmaInitiative replies on 12/5/2019 8:07 am:
Thanks

Paulxx001 63M
17066 posts
12/4/2019 6:06 pm

👍

... is there another way to look at it.
We Have Lost Forty Million Good Men WTF


EnigmaInitiative replies on 12/5/2019 8:08 am:

Logan0867 52M
190 posts
12/4/2019 7:43 pm

Fitting song for this post. I've never seen Chocolat even though it's been recommended to me many times.


SpunkyMonkeyz58 62M
1297 posts
12/5/2019 7:43 am

Bea't'f'l work o'r dear, dear, fr'end and tr'th Yes, yo' o'r dear fr'end are l'ke my Sande, yo' want to be free as yo'r w'ld gypsy sp'r't d'ctates, b't, as well, yo' want and des're someone to r'n w'th, s'de by s'de and Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfect Awrooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Meooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooows Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Xx Oo Have a great day yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss


EnigmaInitiative 52F  
2713 posts
12/5/2019 8:14 am

    Quoting Logan0867:
    Fitting song for this post. I've never seen Chocolat even though it's been recommended to me many times.
I thought so too.

It's a good movie, we should rent it when I come up and watch it together.

Hugs

Secret Agent Rabbit Origin Story

The Origin Story has begun


EnigmaInitiative 52F  
2713 posts
12/5/2019 8:18 am

    Quoting SpunkyMonkeyz58:
    Bea't'f'l work o'r dear, dear, fr'end and tr'th Yes, yo' o'r dear fr'end are l'ke my Sande, yo' want to be free as yo'r w'ld gypsy sp'r't d'ctates, b't, as well, yo' want and des're someone to r'n w'th, s'de by s'de and Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfect Awrooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Meooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooows Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Xx Oo Have a great day yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Thank you my dear sweet Freeeeeeendz. Yes, truth, I suspect Sande and I would get along like gangbusters, we seem a lot alike.

Have a Wonderful Day Yourselves!!

@~~~~/~~~~

Luv

Debbi

Huggles

Awroooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Meowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfecttttt

Secret Agent Rabbit Origin Story

The Origin Story has begun


Logan0867 52M
190 posts
12/5/2019 10:19 am

    Quoting EnigmaInitiative:
    I thought so too.

    It's a good movie, we should rent it when I come up and watch it together.

    Hugs
I'm game


SpunkyMonkeyz58 62M
1297 posts
12/5/2019 11:26 am

Tr'th o'r dear fr'end and thank yo Xx Oo Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfect Awroooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Meooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooows


EnigmaInitiative 52F  
2713 posts
12/6/2019 7:19 am

Awesome

Secret Agent Rabbit Origin Story

The Origin Story has begun


EnigmaInitiative 52F  
2713 posts
12/6/2019 7:19 am

    Quoting SpunkyMonkeyz58:
    Tr'th o'r dear fr'end and thank yo Xx Oo Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfect Awroooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Meooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooows
Hugs, big hugs my freeendz.

Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfect

Secret Agent Rabbit Origin Story

The Origin Story has begun


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