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Sweet Dreams are Made of This  

EnigmaInitiative 52F  
2511 posts
11/23/2019 3:59 pm
Sweet Dreams are Made of This


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Secret Agent Rabbit Origin Story

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EnigmaInitiative 52F  
2713 posts
11/23/2019 4:00 pm

I Will Survive
Grace
Bad Bad Leroy Brown
The Logical Song
Hotel California
Stuck In the Middle with You
I39m a Believer
Bohemian Rhapsody
How to Forget
Suspicious Minds
The Joker
Killing Me Softly with His Song
You Dont Bring Me Flowers
Crazy Train
Change The World
Power of Love

Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind. ~Rudyard Kipling

When I first started writing creatively back in high school, I understood the power of words. In fact, there was a certain creative writing teacher that touched my life deeply. I've been reading since I was three; one may even call it a “natural” progression to move towards writing. However, when I revealed my plans to others, I was discouraged from following the path towards becoming a writer. And, being the people pleasing girl suffering from PTSD I was, I just listened to them.

Who knows who I would have become had I not left college to marry my daughter's father, a man I still love to this day. It's weird, you know, to live through the things I have with that man..both good and bad..and still feel as though he gave me the best gift of them all. My daughter. Another person I can't talk about without tears forming in my eyes.

In fact, people, there are dozens of people I can't talk about without tears forming, it's why I don't talk about them. I meditate on them daily, meaning that I think about them and remember them fondly. It just hurts me to do so, more than I care to admit sometimes. I don't particularly enjoy being vulnerable to people. It's one of the reasons why I write.

Writing allows me “distance” from other people while I process some profound feelings of sadness. As I've mentioned previously, I struggle with crying...especially in front of others. Do you know that I screamed and balled at my mother's funeral when I was thirt**n, but barely shed a tear at my father's at twenty one? And, now? I can't even go to a funeral for people I don't know without crying. It freaks me out, let me tell you. Emotions, they're strange creatures, aren't they?

This journey of writing, for me, has always been about figuring myself out. Sure, if I touched someone with what I said, it was like fondant on top of the icing on a cake. It makes things “prettier”, but no one really wants to eat the fondant. No, really, have you tasted fondant? It's DISGUSTING! However, without fondant, you often can't sell the cake.

In other words, writing is both selfish and unselfish, for me. Just like starting this charity is both selfish and unselfish. Almost everything I do and that I suspect others do is both selfish and unselfish, truly. The issue, I believe, is that the balance...in greater society...is off. We've leaned far too heavily towards shallow pursuits, and not leaned far enough into Nature, Culture, Art, and Education.

In 2016, when I was writing debbisgypsytravels.com and here, I was traveling back and forth between here and Michigan on the bus. Some of the bloggers here may remember, maybe not. One thing that many don't know is that I paid for all those trips out of my own pocket. I went to see my family time and again, and paid about five hundred dollars a trip trying to get them to accept me.

I got about a thousand dollars a month in Social Security when I did that, by the way. I could afford it because at that time, I spent three days a week at Jason's. He fed me, and pretty well took care of my self care needs when I was at his home. And, I lived here with Nick and another couple, but spent most of my time out in the Tool Shed in the backyard. The one we tore down in September of this year. Nick didn't charge me much rent because I was barely ever inside.

When I went to Michigan in October of this year, I met with my maternal uncle, who is my godfather. We spoke, at length, about my mother and about what I've been going through. And, to be sure, what's been going on with him. We spoke WITH each other, not AT each other. I felt a giant weight lifted from my chest after that conversation.

I won't tell you what we talked about in anyway. What I will say is that my family knew I had no money, and they wouldn't even let me stay at their homes during this time. I, literally, had to pay for hotel rooms. You know, like I always do. My family, the ones I love so much, wouldn't even share their homes with the person who shares almost everything she has with perfect strangers.

That's one of the reasons I didn't want to talk with them. Their financial privilege hurts me, deeply. I see all the “Stuff” they have, all the money they spend. Not all, to be sure, but I know what is going on in my maternal family, probably better than they do. I see the shenanigans and the dramatic bullshit, they pull. How do you think I learned to be so mother fucking dramatic?

Reign it in Deborah

See? I learned fairly quickly that my words were touching my family, the words I wrote. They “heard” me, probably for the first time in a very long time. But, you know what? They wouldn't help me, they just wanted to control me. Here I was, a grown ass woman, and they kept trying to tell me what to do and how to live. Not all, but FAR too many.

And, yes, that's part of the reason I walked away from Facebook. I don't totally blame Facebook for what happened. I could have called any one of them to figure this shit out, but I didn't. I just dug in my heels and kept investigating.

In August, I was getting a LOT of text messages, Instagram messages, Facebook Messages, and Twitter Messages. All private. From romance scammers to people trying to get me to give them my bank account login information to people who wanted to “gift” me money (but still wanted my bank account login information) to people who were trying to get me to actually open a bank account. And, I did, because I knew it was time to come on the “grid” in a way I hadn't in six years.

I also did it because people were “pushing” me to, using their words. Words, my friends, they can be used to hurt or heal. I want my words to heal, heal me and heal others. It's why Nick and I decided to open this church and charity, and it's why I'm writing this book. This book is the beginning of it all...how We were Founded.

Writing and helping people? It's giving me so much peace. Maybe not in the beginning, but now? Worth the work, my friends.

Because, to be sure, Sweet Dreams are Made of This

Thank You For Reading

Happy Saturday

Sweet Dreams Are Made of This

By

Eurythmics

Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
I travel the world
And the seven seas,
Everybody's looking for something.
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused.
Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
I travel the world
And the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something
Hold your head up
Keep your head up, movin' on
Hold your head up, movin' on
Keep your head up, movin' on
Hold your head up
Keep your head up, movin' on
Hold your head up, movin' on
Keep your head up, movin' on
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused.
Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
I travel the world
And the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something
Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
I travel the world
And the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something
Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
I travel the world
And the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something
Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
I travel the world
And the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Annie Lennox / David Allan Stewart

Secret Agent Rabbit Origin Story

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Paulxx001 63M
17066 posts
11/23/2019 5:18 pm

Happy Saturday to you as well. 👍😊

... is there another way to look at it.
We Have Lost Forty Million Good Men WTF


PAWAPh 44M
12614 posts
11/23/2019 5:47 pm

Hey, Friend.

*Sweet Dreams/Great Song*
(Try Marilyn Manson Version)

Have A Wonderful Weekend!!

Peace, Debbi!

Jack


6inchjoey 49M  
1176 posts
11/23/2019 6:09 pm

Have a great night and keep on the sunny side xo


lonlyforlove2 77M
8858 posts
11/23/2019 7:31 pm

I did read, a lot of thought contain with in... Have a good evening.

Be sure to look in at lonlyforlove2 . It may make you smile


Logan0867 52M
190 posts
11/23/2019 8:52 pm

That one always gets my toes tapping. I thought I was the only one who hated fondant...I always peel it off. icky stuff.


author51 57F  
94531 posts
11/24/2019 1:00 am

Like you I started reading at 3 and have never stopped. It also lead to my passion for writing and voila, here we are..It is such a wonderful way to express our emotions, to vent, to tell a story be it life experiences or what else we want to share..I started a daily journal way back in my teen years and it grew to becoming a published author..Words are powerful and when not used properly can cut one like a knife...but when spoken or written out of love and straight from the heart can lead to some amazing experiences that can heal old hurts, wounds and scars..xx my friend...

One can never have enough JOY in their life...


EnigmaInitiative 52F  
2713 posts
11/24/2019 5:59 am

    Quoting Paulxx001:
    Happy Saturday to you as well. 👍😊


Secret Agent Rabbit Origin Story

The Origin Story has begun


EnigmaInitiative 52F  
2713 posts
11/24/2019 5:59 am

    Quoting PAWAPh:
    Hey, Friend.

    *Sweet Dreams/Great Song*
    (Try Marilyn Manson Version)

    Have A Wonderful Weekend!!

    Peace, Debbi!

    Jack
Hey Friend!

I'll Check it Out, Thanks!

Have a Great Weekend

Peace

Debbi

Secret Agent Rabbit Origin Story

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EnigmaInitiative 52F  
2713 posts
11/24/2019 6:00 am

    Quoting 6inchjoey:
    Have a great night and keep on the sunny side xo
Thanks, you too!

Secret Agent Rabbit Origin Story

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EnigmaInitiative 52F  
2713 posts
11/24/2019 6:00 am

    Quoting lonlyforlove2:
    I did read, a lot of thought contain with in... Have a good evening.
I have a lot of thoughts.

Happy Sunday!

Secret Agent Rabbit Origin Story

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EnigmaInitiative 52F  
2713 posts
11/24/2019 6:01 am

    Quoting Logan0867:
    That one always gets my toes tapping. I thought I was the only one who hated fondant...I always peel it off. icky stuff.
I had never tried fondant until I made that shoe cake. Remember that? LOL

It's a great song, but then...so many are.

Happy Sunday

I love you

Secret Agent Rabbit Origin Story

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EnigmaInitiative 52F  
2713 posts
11/24/2019 6:02 am

    Quoting  :

Thanks

Secret Agent Rabbit Origin Story

The Origin Story has begun


EnigmaInitiative 52F  
2713 posts
11/24/2019 6:04 am

    Quoting author51:
    Like you I started reading at 3 and have never stopped. It also lead to my passion for writing and voila, here we are..It is such a wonderful way to express our emotions, to vent, to tell a story be it life experiences or what else we want to share..I started a daily journal way back in my teen years and it grew to becoming a published author..Words are powerful and when not used properly can cut one like a knife...but when spoken or written out of love and straight from the heart can lead to some amazing experiences that can heal old hurts, wounds and scars..xx my friend...
We have so much in common Joy, not everything...to be sure...but so much. I do plan to get my passport soon, hopefully we can get together and talk at length. I look forward to that day, my friend!

Everything you say is so true, it's such a wonderful way to release feelings and thoughts into the ether.

Happy Sunday My Friend xxoo

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SpunkyMonkeyz58 62M
1297 posts
11/25/2019 8:02 am

Very good wr't'ng o'r dear fr'end and love yo'r pass'on Xx Oo Mmmmmm Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfect Awrooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Meoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooows


EnigmaInitiative 52F  
2713 posts
11/25/2019 9:19 am

    Quoting SpunkyMonkeyz58:
    Very good wr't'ng o'r dear fr'end and love yo'r pass'on Xx Oo Mmmmmm Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfect Awrooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Meoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooows
Awwwww.....thank you Monkees, I appreciate you all!

Hugs

Puuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfect
Awroooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Meoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooowww

Secret Agent Rabbit Origin Story

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