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Like dreams, needs and desires this blog is in a state of constant becoming, defined by mood and context and vague intimations of patterns that emerge like the faces and shapes seen fleetingly in clouds. Look and you might catch a glimpse of something; look again and it has transformed. We perhaps offer no more, even in our most candid blog posts than a transient reflection held in words and images that reflect a reality that we have already moved beyond. Look here and you will both find me and miss me altogether. One reason why I blog is to capture something of myself that is otherwise elided by the passing moment. I find blogging an essential adjunct to my creativity - such as it is - and frequently appear and disappear from the site depending on my current relationship status and wider interests. I’m back after a 6 month absence. I leave it to you to draw inferences or seek the key to that one.

If you have found your way to this blog, however, I bid you welcome. Hopefully you will find something of interest and will feel inclined to leave a response - a momentary trace of your passing through this magic theatre of smoke and mirrors.

I welcome comments and responses.
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How Do You Touch Yourself?
Posted:Jan 31, 2021 12:52 am
Last Updated:Jan 31, 2021 8:49 pm
1352 Views
Sometimes masturbation, like sex itself, is simply a release from pressure - and in the case of men is perhaps more necessary than to women when they get aroused, just ask any man who has suffered from “blue balls”. But over and above this, what does masturbation mean to you, are you willing to share your experiences? In my case I have always found it a vital part of learning about and enhancing my sexual awareness and experience. I think I masturbate a little like I think women tend to. When not simply seeking release from tension, I will go to some lengths to create a mood and atmosphere, put on some appropriate music and, after a dram of two of cognac, or something else to hand, will relax into the scenario (wherever it is) and bring before my mind a fantasy that dictates how and when I stimulate myself. I have had more intense orgasms when masturbating than I often have during a shared sexual experience - although there was the time when a wonderful woman and I masturbated for each other, holding off from orgasm as long as we could - but that is another story.

The first time I experienced a deep prostate orgasm was during a quiet moment, as an eighteen year old, when I experimented with a carefully knotted silk handkerchief. I think this was actually my first real erotic awakening. Even now, entering my sixties I am discovering new ways to pleasure myself. The most important thing, however, is that I find that such “self-indulgence” plays a vital role in knowing how to please and emerse myself in the sexuality of a special partner. I think masturbation is actually a vital part of a mature sexual relationship. In a previous life I tried to explain this to my then wife. But she slammed that door shut quickly. It wasn’t the reason for the breakdown in our relationship but it did play a role at some level because it was actually a rejection of something essential to my sensual erotic identity.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. And a little secret, I find talking about masturbation intensely erotic, so any responses are likely, over the course of time, to feed into a slow seething level of arousal, so I thank you in advance for your response.
1 comment
I’m Not Here.
Posted:Dec 7, 2020 6:21 pm
Last Updated:Dec 8, 2020 8:57 pm
1583 Views
I’m here and not here. I’m like the famous image of Blake drawing himself. The idea here is that in self-expression, or self-creation, we fold in and around ourselves in a paradox of infinite deferal. He must both be and not be to draw,
or to constitute, himself from his own necessary absence. And so it is with blogging here. I both am and am not. I constantly transcend myself as a constituted object of my own gaze. It’s like sex, which to my mind is like a mobius twist in our sensual-imaginative self that curls infinitely in on itself, like the self devouring serpent, touching both our inside and outside as it completes itself.
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Most Recent Comments by Others

Post Poster Post Date
How Do You Touch Yourself? (2)author51
Jan 31, 2021 2:03 am
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I’m Not Here. (2)author51
Dec 8, 2020 12:03 am