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Choo-Choo - Riding The Train  

GratefulGirl69 51F
1489 posts
7/29/2018 2:25 pm
Choo-Choo - Riding The Train


I don't know what's up with me lately. Typically a forward-looking sort of gal, I have been feeling unusually nostalgic for the past few weeks. And I guess it probably shows!

Maybe it's from hitting the last y.ear of my 40s last month... or from Squinkie turning 9 in a couple of weeks... or from the eighth anniversary of my mother's death coming a couple of weeks after that. I a.m just being hit by a cluster of things that make me think about age, aging, growing up, and the past.

It may also be attached to the act of defining the primary audience of my blog a couple of months ago. I know it probably sounds kind of bizarre, this being a sex site and all, but when I came back in the spring and started writing here again, I realized that I was writing this primarily for my . NOT to read here- at least, I hope not! But for me to print and save to have available to her one day, if/when she ever wants to know about her mother's life, past, family, experiences, thoughts and inner workings.

I don't have such a thing for/about my mother, and she had me when she was only 22. I had Squinkie at 40, and the odds aren't very good that I will still be kicking around on this planet by the time she gets to self-reflective middle age. And I don't ever want her to feel the same way that I do about my mother- like she never knew me, never had a chance to... and then I'll be gone, as will be the chance to ask the questions. I want the answers and information to be there for her, if she ever gets to a point of wanting to have them.

Or, of course, maybe the nostalgia comes from just having too much time to think lately, period. The whole alone-thing.

Whatever it is, things keep setting it off- a song on the radio, something I see online, something someone says... and then off goes the brain, hopping on the memory train, thinking about days long gone-by... and wanting to write about it.

Yesterday, it was an actual mention of a train that got the memory train going- a friend reporting that he was on an expedition for the day, part of which involved riding on a train.

I haven't been on one myself for quite some time; I believe the last time was a trip from White Plains into NYC to enjoy the gift I gave to myself to celebrate my undergrad graduation: a four-day stay in a fancy city hotel room (with a view of the Empire State Building) by myself, with the plan of doing the museums and touristy stuff, enjoying great food and just digging the thriving vibe and pulse of the Big Apple.

The bulk of my adult train-riding has been exactly that- parking and riding from an outlying small city into the big city. Sometimes the White Plains-to-NYC route, sometimes the New Carrollton-to-DC route, where my ex and I went on a fairly regular basis to do the museum/touristy/food adventure. We also took a train from Baltimore to Savannah during our first y.ear of marriage in '91, a belated honeymoon trip that doubled as a rare trip to visit my dad and step-mother.



Altogether, it doesn't amount to many train rides. At least, not in comparison with my childhood, when the train was the primary transportation method used by me and my brother to get to and from our father's home for bi-monthly visits. Dad worked in shipping, always lived close to the port areas of northern New Jersey while I was growing up. My primary residence with my mom and step-dad changed fairly often, but we always stayed in southern NJ and the Philly area.

In other words, there was always quite a distance between my parents' homes, one that required a significant amount of driving if either party was to make the round-trips to deliver or return us for the visits. A better option was the train- to have one parent put us on an Amtrak on one side of the state to be collected by the other on the other side. It was cheap and convenient for the grown-ups, and terrific, adventurous fun for us .

I know that, these days, the mere idea of putting 6 and 8 y.ear-old alone on a cross-state train seems unfathomable, even grossly negligent. But this was the '70s, and people didn't tiptoe through life as much as they do now, weren't seen as being constantly under an imminent risk of danger, requiring absolute round-the-clock vigilant supervision. Hell, these days, someone runs the risk of having their 6 or 8 y.ear-old taken away from them by the state if they're left in a car for 5 minutes while running into a Wawa to pay for gas!

But also, hell, these days, don't really seem to go outside at all, if they can avoid it- or it's a punishment, tearing them away from the toys and technology that keep them mindlessly entertained indoors. But when I was a , during the summer or on weekends, we made a beeline from bed to bathroom to back door to go out, to get out into the world, where all of the fun happened. Tossing on our freaky Brady Bunch polyester outfits along the way.

"Be back by dark!" mom would shout as the screen door slammed at our heels. And still, she would often have to stand outside and call us in at dusk, often relenting in the face of our protests, letting us stay out if we stayed in the yard or on the block- close enough to hear when she called us in for the night.



up-to and of the '70s had a lot of freedom, a lot of space and trust and room to roam. And I think it was a good thing, allowing us to develop and hone certain qualities that built independence and a capacity for autonomy, as well as a sort of welcoming, curious embrace of nature and the larger world outside of our homes.

I don't like the fact that my doesn't have that available to her; I feel that she's missing out on some of the things that made childhood an exciting journey of wonder and growth and excitement for me and my peers. Yeah, I know she's got the literal whole world at her fingertips through her technology, but she does not have much in the way of engagement with her immediate world, the neighbor and neighborhood, able to be explored with and by her own agency.

Opportunities to interact with both are always carefully arranged and scheduled, and they play out under the watchful eyes of bored, paranoid, and poised-to-meddle neighbors. You know, the ones who come knocking on my door to criticize me for allowing my 8 y.ear-old to cross the street and walk half a block alone, while I watch her (seemingly saturated in neglect) make the 300-step journey from a window. "She could get run over!" or "Do you want her to get snatched!?" they observe, ask, accuse... as if Squinkie is incapable of seeing an oncoming car or hasn't been given a thousand "Stranger Danger" warnings.

When did become so fragile, so incapable of doing anything at all on their own? And why do we embrace this constant fear-the-worst and ultra-limiting mindset regarding how should be treated, when there's really nothing real- nothing borne out of actual incidents, occurrences, and statistics- that show that a is in more danger crossing a street alone than she ever was in the past?

And when did the "concerned neighbor" start being someone who goes out of his/her way to criticize parents for allowing their to have a little independence, instead of contributing to the effort of "keeping an eye on" the who are out and exploring the world around them? I swear that some of these folks would watch a actually be abducted, without any effort of interference, just so they could ring the doorbell and deliver a vicious "I told you so." Because it doesn't "take a village" anymore, clearly. If you're a parent, you are SO on your own these days.

But to bring this back around to topic- things were different when I was a . Neighbors were neighborly and were seen as belonging to that neighborhood- everyone looked out for everyone. And could be put on a train to travel across the state, from o.ne parent's arms to the other's, without a whole lot of concern. Because there were adults present and watching, it wasn't like we had the train to ourselves. And back then, people seemed to care more, seemed to be more willing to contribute to the effort of having/maintaining a safe environment for all and overall... and it didn't feel like it was "asking too much" to keep half an eye on a couple of on their way to see their daddy.



There were conductors, commuters, and fellow travelers, and- o.ne of my favorite things about these memories- we also had the "Guardian Angels," the urban MC that made it their business to try to keep public transportation safe. We didn't always have a red beret on the train with us, but we did more often than not... and while they looked a little scary around the edges, as , we looked at them in the same way that we looked at a police officer- we knew they were there to help and protect in the places the police couldn't be.

There were often other who were traveling alone, just like us. I remember o.ne time when there were so many of us that the conductors shuffled us all into the food car- and the first time I saw Harry Potter and that train trip to Hogwarts, I thought of that... and was glad to see something in popular culture that countered this increasingly prevalent idea that a minor can't go anywhere or do anything without an adult latched to his/her side.

Being that we were trusted with- and knew how to handle- a reasonable degree of independence, we didn't make or try to find trouble. My bro and I had the stuff of routine entertainment for our train trips. I'd sometimes have a book and he'd have his little green army men... but most often, we would have playing cards and pads of Mad Libs. We'd drink soda, eat snacks, talk, play games, view the scenery, and keep to ourselves, appreciating the adventure of the whole thing.



Those were good times for me, some of the best parts of my childhood... and I've become old enough, living in a world that has become different enough, that they truly do seem to be memories from a long-gone and forgotten era. I guess this is the stuff of aging, having things in your past that have no reference or relevance to the world as it is today. And while I enjoy my 's company so much that I a.m not sure that I would ever want to put her on a train alone, rather than drive with her somewhere, no matter what the decade... I do feel bad that she doesn't have the opportunity to enjoy many of the things that I think were the Best Things about growing up.

So, how about you, sexy friends? Any other of the '70s who wish to chime in about the delights of young freedom that don't get anymore? Is there anyone who also used to ride a train or play Mad Libs? Or anyone who simply likes trains??

I'm happy to hear anything from everyone. And hoping that it's a great Sunday for all!!

xoxox
GG69


GratefulGirl69 51F

7/29/2018 2:34 pm

The decade is wrong, but I like the idea...
[image]


LakeRidgeBBWSeek 59M
3755 posts
7/29/2018 2:35 pm

We let Pandora outta her container, we allowed garabge to be on TV & the big screen, somehow thincing our little ones wouldnt be able to see such stuff. Then the vid games came, and things really began to spiral downward. We allowed our pols to let mental health care slide to invisibility, becoming so costly only those under govt care can afford it, or the very wealthy. So we ended up with people with no regard for human life wandering our streets preying on our children, and now we cant trust to let them outta our sight. We call countries that restrict the garbage we allow baccwards & regressive, but in fact, they understand better than we seem to how bad things can get, they only have to see our society in the USA to learn that lesson! In hope your daughter never has to go thru any of the crap that can happen, but I wont hold my breath, & neither should you, just prepare yourself to help if your needed!


niceguyniceunit2 49M
43 posts
7/29/2018 2:53 pm

Thank you for sharing.


Greyhawk47 50M

7/29/2018 2:54 pm

I fondly remember the 70s. Like you said in the summer time and on weekends as soon as we ate breakfast my brother and I were out the door! We lived in the country and our closest neighbor lived a quarter mile away but that didn’t slow us down any. I wouldn’t trade those days for the world.

I tried to allow my kids as much freedom like that as I could as they grew up. When we lived in town things were a little more restrictive but it wasn’t too bad.

I understand what your saying on how much different things are today than when we grew up. It is a completely different world out there and not for the better. It seems society has taken a pretty severe hit.

Thanks for the memories though. As far as train rides as a kid I only went on one trip on Amtrak up to the north which was pretty fun.


redrockrascal 61M
21607 posts
7/29/2018 2:56 pm

Somehow I survived riding bicycles and mini-bikes without a helmet. Somehow I survived playing high school football without scrambling my brain. Somehow I survived without a cell phone. But . . .

Somehow it seems common sense did not survive.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


GratefulGirl69 51F

7/29/2018 3:06 pm

    Quoting LakeRidgeBBWSeek:
    We let Pandora outta her container, we allowed garabge to be on TV & the big screen, somehow thincing our little ones wouldnt be able to see such stuff. Then the vid games came, and things really began to spiral downward. We allowed our pols to let mental health care slide to invisibility, becoming so costly only those under govt care can afford it, or the very wealthy. So we ended up with people with no regard for human life wandering our streets preying on our children, and now we cant trust to let them outta our sight. We call countries that restrict the garbage we allow baccwards & regressive, but in fact, they understand better than we seem to how bad things can get, they only have to see our society in the USA to learn that lesson! In hope your daughter never has to go thru any of the crap that can happen, but I wont hold my breath, & neither should you, just prepare yourself to help if your needed!
I am sorry, but I am not sure that anything that you've said makes any sense at all. If you look at hard, factual data, you see that crime has been on a downward spiral in this country for decades. Statistically speaking, any person in any location is FAR safer now that he/she was in the 50s-to-70s, particularly in large cities. Crime is down as a whole, society is a LOT safer than it used to be.

What HAS increased is the phenomenon that we call "concept creep," which is a thing where, lacking TRUE danger, people will look for/actively seek danger in other areas- or even change the way in which they define "danger" in order to keep a sense of being at risk of harm from something. It's a collective cultural paranoia that comes from, essentially, being TOO safe.

Safety is boring, it seems- a lot of people seem to WANT to be afraid, to have something to fear, and- if reality doesn't supply a real source of fear- many are happy to invent boogiemen to stay afraid of.

I appreciate your attention and comment, but I admit that I DO feel a bit uneasy about some of the things that you say- and the way that you say them.


GratefulGirl69 51F

7/29/2018 3:18 pm

    Quoting Greyhawk47:
    I fondly remember the 70s. Like you said in the summer time and on weekends as soon as we ate breakfast my brother and I were out the door! We lived in the country and our closest neighbor lived a quarter mile away but that didn’t slow us down any. I wouldn’t trade those days for the world.

    I tried to allow my kids as much freedom like that as I could as they grew up. When we lived in town things were a little more restrictive but it wasn’t too bad.

    I understand what your saying on how much different things are today than when we grew up. It is a completely different world out there and not for the better. It seems society has taken a pretty severe hit.

    Thanks for the memories though. As far as train rides as a kid I only went on one trip on Amtrak up to the north which was pretty fun.
Now, see, I enjoy and agree with all that you said up until the "not for the better" remark. It seems to be common thinking that things are not safe anymore, that circumstances are more dangerous than they were back then, but the opposite is actually true. We are, as both adults ans children, MUCH safer than we were only a few decades ago. Any look at crime statistics anywhere bears this out.

But we've seemed to have bought into this culture of fear and paranoia that invents danger, goes hunting for reasons to be frightened, to feel afraid, to see risk around every corner. It's kind of a collective sickness, I believe. Psychologists call it "concept creep," this endeavor to inflate lesser risks to compensate for the lack of greater ones... it like we, as a species, feel a need to be on edge and scared, even when there is nothing to be frightened of.

I credit a lot of it to the post 9/11 and so-called Patriot Act, actually... and believe that we're manipulated into buying into a culture of a fear because it makes us easier to control. Easier for neighbors to turn on each other, maybe ultimately turn each other in, if the brown shirts start knocking on doors again, as they did in the efforts that served as the precursor to the Holocaust.

It scares me, this embrace of fear and complete lack of effort that so many people make to be truly informed about real vs imagined dangers.


GratefulGirl69 51F

7/29/2018 3:19 pm

    Quoting redrockrascal:
    Somehow I survived riding bicycles and mini-bikes without a helmet. Somehow I survived playing high school football without scrambling my brain. Somehow I survived without a cell phone. But . . .

    Somehow it seems common sense did not survive.
Yes- exactly. We've taken a bad turn as a culture in this way, and it troubles me deeply. Thank you!


storkjwr18 44M
950 posts
7/29/2018 3:26 pm

Ah the days when we were carefree running the streets. I spent summer days at the park playing basketball, or going to the city pool (parentless).

We would ride the bus or the RTA, but mostly we rode our bicycles. Of course never went farther than four cities over.

I do enjoy your writings. It lets us all know you, so it will do well for your little one.

thanks for sharing.


s2ndegree 61M  
9736 posts
7/29/2018 3:54 pm

Whenever I wax nostalgic a friend of mine always
throws in the old "you sound like one of those old people
who used to say here's a dime now go see a movie.
Their right though only it's a different time and place

We didn't have cable T V then and
the movies and T V shows at the time weren't about
murderers and sex or child abductions or sex slave trade.
They were still out there.It was the advent of 24 hour breaking
news and an entertainment industry that had nothing else
that they hadn't portrayed a hundred times.That they
decided to push the envelope.Which created the over
protective hoovering that is so prominent today.

We were allowed to be kids.When parents were parents
that were o k with us making and having our own
best friends alleviating them from having to try and be our
best friends.We understood what they represented
and we didn't cross that line to often.
There were six of us so they had their hands full as it was.
Our dad was obsessed with teaching us respect and courtesy.

It paid off though and I am constantly reminded of him
when someone compliments my demeanor.

Using more than all the road!


mc_justmc 60M
6307 posts
7/29/2018 4:00 pm

We used to play team hide and seek, with about 20 kids per team, at night, with flashlights, in a 2 block area. Hiding in trees, bushes, under cars, between houses, until 10pm. If kids tried that today they'd be arrested or shot for trespassing.


isitbreaktime2 54M

7/29/2018 4:55 pm

I can remember getting up early on summer mornings and walking to a little pond with my brothers to go fishing all morning, then spend the whole day outside, playing baseball. My mom kept a cow bell on a string by the door and that was the signal to come home. Beach trips, ten of us would pile into a station wagon, no seat belts, sitting on someone's lap.

I think the safety/vigilance stuff kicked in because of the huge profits to be made on safety equipment. But first you needed a market flush with worried people, so that marketing fear and worry became a thing. I don't think the world suddenly became more dangerous but new norms arose in response to marketing efforts aimed at irrational fears.

I loved those days and nights of freedom, it really was a different world.


pocogato12 68F  
33791 posts
7/29/2018 6:32 pm

I have wonderful memories of my era childhood. We played outside- made mud pies, Hollyhock doll from the alley pickings, Kick the Can until dark, took the bus downtown to the Denver zoo ( cost a nickle), my mom didn't drive so it was walking all over the place and we were happy!!! We learned not to take candy from strangers and to come home when the bell rang. I once had to take a plane from Portland to Denver all by myself- fearless- and maybe I sitll am.
What I do not like is the inability of children today to communicate with words out loud. It's all tech and text and no feeling. They will never have the rich experiences we are all talking about. There is no one that is encouraging them to step outside the "fear factor"

(Virtual Symposium Group) use Virtual Symposium Group


1SexyGoodguy 55M

7/29/2018 11:49 pm

Great trip down memory lane, that is for sure. I remember riding my 10 speed bicycle just about everywhere in our small town. My parents seemed to know a lot of people in town due to working part time at a gas station. Around dinner time, either my mom or dad would say, "You know, So and so, saw you today at such and such park. Did you see them, there?" Of course, we would say, "No," Never once my brother and I heard my parents talking that So and So thought they were bad parents for letting my bro and I run loose around town. It was magical to have that much freedom. It is unfortunate that kids today are slaves to technology. Adults are not exactly exempt either. We are so wired into our tech devices and forget what beauty we can still see and experience around us.

Stay Sexy My Friend


citizen4722 62M  
67505 posts
7/30/2018 12:23 pm

I haven't actually travelled on a train since 2011. Before that, I was on one every other week for three years visiting my then partner. There is one big factor as to not riding on trains as much now but it's too raw in my mind to mention it here.
I had a wonderful time growing up in the 70s, despite the fact that dad died when I was 14 in 1972 and mum had to bring up 5 young kids on her own for a number of years.


GratefulGirl69 51F

7/30/2018 1:23 pm

    Quoting storkjwr18:
    Ah the days when we were carefree running the streets. I spent summer days at the park playing basketball, or going to the city pool (parentless).

    We would ride the bus or the RTA, but mostly we rode our bicycles. Of course never went farther than four cities over.

    I do enjoy your writings. It lets us all know you, so it will do well for your little one.

    thanks for sharing.
Oh goodness, yes- the bicycles! It was absolutely crippling to not have one, and we went quite some distances on them.

And you know, throughout elementary school, we also walked to school, which was about 3/4 of a mile away. These days, the bus deposits kids right at their doors, not even making them walk a block- or even a couple of houses down. It's convenient, sure, but again, there's no opportunity to engage in the world at large, have those adventures, get that exercise. It just really stinks for today's kids.

I very much appreciate your attention and positive contribution to this little spot- thank you!


GratefulGirl69 51F

7/30/2018 1:27 pm

    Quoting s2ndegree:
    Whenever I wax nostalgic a friend of mine always
    throws in the old "you sound like one of those old people
    who used to say here's a dime now go see a movie.
    Their right though only it's a different time and place

    We didn't have cable T V then and
    the movies and T V shows at the time weren't about
    murderers and sex or child abductions or sex slave trade.
    They were still out there.It was the advent of 24 hour breaking
    news and an entertainment industry that had nothing else
    that they hadn't portrayed a hundred times.That they
    decided to push the envelope.Which created the over
    protective hoovering that is so prominent today.

    We were allowed to be kids.When parents were parents
    that were o k with us making and having our own
    best friends alleviating them from having to try and be our
    best friends.We understood what they represented
    and we didn't cross that line to often.
    There were six of us so they had their hands full as it was.
    Our dad was obsessed with teaching us respect and courtesy.

    It paid off though and I am constantly reminded of him
    when someone compliments my demeanor.
It is a truly EXCELLENT observation, to point out the 24/7/365 "news" thing... and how everything, absolutely everything, has to be a major crisis, scandal. We've gotten kind of addicted, as a culture, to sensationalism, something that I absolutely believe (now that you've mentioned it) contributed to our hyper-sensitivity and crazily amped-up fear about worst-case scenarios.

We need to step away from the boob tube, gain a little perspective about real vs imagined risks, and- again, great observation- put more focus on teaching kids to be good citizens of the world via courtesy and respect.

Thanks so much for your valuable insights!


GratefulGirl69 51F

7/30/2018 1:28 pm

    Quoting mc_justmc:
    We used to play team hide and seek, with about 20 kids per team, at night, with flashlights, in a 2 block area. Hiding in trees, bushes, under cars, between houses, until 10pm. If kids tried that today they'd be arrested or shot for trespassing.
LOL We did that, too! And yes, you're right... we'd have carcasses of kids lying around everywhere if they tried to do that today!

Thanks for commenting!


GratefulGirl69 51F

7/30/2018 1:33 pm

    Quoting isitbreaktime2:
    I can remember getting up early on summer mornings and walking to a little pond with my brothers to go fishing all morning, then spend the whole day outside, playing baseball. My mom kept a cow bell on a string by the door and that was the signal to come home. Beach trips, ten of us would pile into a station wagon, no seat belts, sitting on someone's lap.

    I think the safety/vigilance stuff kicked in because of the huge profits to be made on safety equipment. But first you needed a market flush with worried people, so that marketing fear and worry became a thing. I don't think the world suddenly became more dangerous but new norms arose in response to marketing efforts aimed at irrational fears.

    I loved those days and nights of freedom, it really was a different world.
That's a really good point about money-generating safety equipment and measures- some of which are good and HAVE helped a great deal (like baby car seats), but others just serve to kind of feed the fear frenzy.

I worry that it's ultimately about control. Frightened people are easier to control, to herd, to give up civil liberties, to get in line and follow orders. I know it sounds paranoid to a certain extent, and I don't embrace a fully fleshed-out conspiracy theory about such things, but I DO recognize that the culture of fear and the concessions we've collectively made to attempt to assuage it have left us more vulnerable as citizens to increasingly oppressive governmental controls.

But that's a story for another day...

Thanks so much for participating!


GratefulGirl69 51F

7/30/2018 1:43 pm

    Quoting Heathen_G:
    Yesterday, it was an actual mention of a train that got the memory train going- .... I have those at times... yesterday, when I was sitting on the porch swing, during about midday of a hot July day... a breeze brushed by, cooling me and rustling the green leaves of tall trees... made me instantly think back to the 1960s....being that kid sitting in a park under a tree watching all the high school girls go by in their mini skirts, and hearing a garage band across the street play The Doors song "Light My Fire"... a time long before society became so baby-proof , or you could say hypersensitive whiny about everything.

    But this was the '70s, and people didn't tiptoe through life as much as they do now, kids weren't seen as being constantly under an imminent risk of danger, requiring absolute round-the-clock vigilant supervision. ... That is true, but in the late 60's , I remember my parents talking about the reports of people putting razor blades in apples for Halloween. So I think , the Internet just brings all that stuff, already there, but generally unknown, ...known.

    But also, hell, these days, kids don't really seem to go outside at all, ... True.. they're getting fat and anti social playing tech games.

    But when I was a kid, during the summer or on weekends, we made a beeline from bed to bathroom to back door to go out, to get out into the world, where all of the fun happened. ... Very true... and stay outside to, many times, after sunset.

    Kids up-to and of the '70s had a lot of freedom, a lot of space and trust and room to roam. ..... True.. and we didn't wear helmets to pedal a bike , either. And kids then were on bikes all the time. Nobody ever fell off their bike getting much worse than a gravel soar.

    I feel that she's missing out ... Simply put, she is missing out. Social media has corralled us into a state of constant fear. Sad.

    and they play out under the watchful eyes of bored, paranoid, and poised-to-meddle neighbors. ...LOL.. the funny thing is , "Neighbors" have always been this way. Some were even crabby, yelling at the kids swooshing through their side-yard on the their bicycles.

    "Stranger Danger" warnings. .... This isn't the best thing to impress on kids, because strangers can help a child in need. So if you have a child petrified of everyone they don't know, this could be more of a problem.

    When did kids become so fragile, ... Kids are not fragile , we make them fragile.... in the 1980s raising your male child equal to your female child set off a gross weakening wave of males for generations to come. Then the 1990s, with the further deployment of social media access didn't help matters any.

    And why do we embrace this constant fear-the-worst and ultra-limiting mindset regarding how kids should be treated, ... Because of the power of social media, and reasonably any good parent then become fear-instilled and doesn't want to risk their child..... when really , the risks are not that more than long ago.

    And when did the "concerned neighbor" start being someone who goes out of his/her way to criticize parents for allowing their children to have a little independence, ... About the mid 1980s. So gradual ...so sneaky, so poisoning.

    everyone looked out for everyone. ... Probably this was more common than in other places.

    I guess this is the stuff of aging, having things in your past that have no reference or relevance to the world as it is today. .... I agree... every generation has gone , and will go, through something like this.
Hi Heathen! Thanks for coming by- it's good to see you! I am pretty much on the same page as you in this matter.

As an older-than-usual parent of a young child, it's difficult and distressing that I cannot give my daughter the sort of childhood that I would like her to have. There is a sort of a movement to counter this popular collective approach of basically keeping kids in bubble wrap, or like veal, caged and confined... "Free Range Kids," it's called. And when one reads the basic ideas behind it, when one apply logic and critical thinking to actual risk assessment, some of the ways that we are as a society now do not only seem hyper-sensitive, but flat-out insane.

I very much appreciate your contribution- thank you! Hope to see you around again!


GratefulGirl69 51F

7/30/2018 1:48 pm

    Quoting pocogato12:
    I have wonderful memories of my era childhood. We played outside- made mud pies, Hollyhock doll from the alley pickings, Kick the Can until dark, took the bus downtown to the Denver zoo ( cost a nickle), my mom didn't drive so it was walking all over the place and we were happy!!! We learned not to take candy from strangers and to come home when the bell rang. I once had to take a plane from Portland to Denver all by myself- fearless- and maybe I sitll am.
    What I do not like is the inability of children today to communicate with words out loud. It's all tech and text and no feeling. They will never have the rich experiences we are all talking about. There is no one that is encouraging them to step outside the "fear factor"
I really like- and may borrow- your line, "It's all tech and text and no feeling." It's so true- I see my daughter slipping into that kind of way of being, and I push against it, but it's hard when I cannot offer her the things of my/our generation as alternatives, when I can't send her out to play and explore and discover. At least, not without a neighbor coming to chastise me, or worse, skipping right past sharing his/her take with me and going right to calling the police or social services.

I really need to live out in the wilderness, I think! Or, since I want Squinkie to have engagement with other people, as well as the natural world, maybe in an isolated commune somewhere. I guess the trick is finding one...

As always, thank you for sharing!


GratefulGirl69 51F

7/30/2018 1:51 pm

    Quoting 1SexyGoodguy:
    Great trip down memory lane, that is for sure. I remember riding my 10 speed bicycle just about everywhere in our small town. My parents seemed to know a lot of people in town due to working part time at a gas station. Around dinner time, either my mom or dad would say, "You know, So and so, saw you today at such and such park. Did you see them, there?" Of course, we would say, "No," Never once my brother and I heard my parents talking that So and So thought they were bad parents for letting my bro and I run loose around town. It was magical to have that much freedom. It is unfortunate that kids today are slaves to technology. Adults are not exactly exempt either. We are so wired into our tech devices and forget what beauty we can still see and experience around us.
It WAS magical, I agree! I also agree that us old'uns are almost as bad about the tech thing. We're all becoming slaves to this not-quite-living thing that we do through our devices and online world. And it's sad. We all need to get out more, I think.

Thanks so much for contributing!


GratefulGirl69 51F

7/30/2018 5:47 pm

    Quoting Heathen_G:
    Hi Greatfulgirl ...Society is certainly messed up. I was talking to my neighbor, she's a teacher in a public school, and she said parents are no longer allowed to bring baked-goods into schools. ....and did you ever hear about that fuss in Indiana [Feb 2018], regarding parents being against the teaching of sex education in school? It IS insane.
Thanks! I wasn't familiar with the Indiana thing, but I just looked it up.

Oh my. Had to pull a line from the summary of it to include below. As Dave Barry used to say, "I am not making this up":

"...sexual behavior or attitudes belong in the same category as political beliefs or affiliations..."

Wha?

I can understand the latter influencing the former in terms of personal, moral instruction... but this is BIOLOGY and EDUCATION, people! Not everything is fuzzy and subjective, open to interpretation and personal belief... there are such things as "facts" and "reality."

I just... I just don't even know what to say, except for- WTF?


Paulxx001 63M
16702 posts
7/30/2018 8:06 pm

You have some deep thoughts there . . . I write about Jello-Slushies . . . lol


GratefulGirl69 51F

7/30/2018 10:43 pm

    Quoting Paulxx001:
    You have some deep thoughts there . . . I write about Jello-Slushies . . . lol
Nothing wrong with a Jello-Slushie!

And I assure you, conversation is not really all that fancy around here... I talk about food and stupid jokes and geeky interests. Check back every now and again- both Jello and Slushies are sure to be discussed at some point or another!

Thanks for coming by!


Mfdmen 59M  
24 posts
8/5/2018 5:35 am

Like you I was a kid when kids were allowed to be. Every summer we were released in the morning, told to be back for lunch, not get ourselves killed, and basically left to do as we pleased. We formed packs of roving bicycle gangs, had at least one memorable massive dirt clod fight at a construction site, and played frisbee and various ball games. Everybody survived with minor scrapes, bruises and bug bites but nothing more. Now, I suppose all our parents would be arrested. I can’t imagine that there are more perverts and murderers out there today than there were then...perhaps people just didn’t talk of the bad things that may have happened to kids. But I share your sense that something has been lost that we may come to regret as these sheltered over-programmed kids become adults. And that worries me a bit.


GratefulGirl69 51F

8/5/2018 2:49 pm

    Quoting Mfdmen:
    Like you I was a kid when kids were allowed to be. Every summer we were released in the morning, told to be back for lunch, not get ourselves killed, and basically left to do as we pleased. We formed packs of roving bicycle gangs, had at least one memorable massive dirt clod fight at a construction site, and played frisbee and various ball games. Everybody survived with minor scrapes, bruises and bug bites but nothing more. Now, I suppose all our parents would be arrested. I can’t imagine that there are more perverts and murderers out there today than there were then...perhaps people just didn’t talk of the bad things that may have happened to kids. But I share your sense that something has been lost that we may come to regret as these sheltered over-programmed kids become adults. And that worries me a bit.
Yes, what you've described seems SO familiar... particularly the mention of the construction site! Something like that, a new construction- or any abandoned building- was a magnet to us... I have so many memories of exploring and playing in and around those types of areas. And oddly, I even still dream of them sometimes... dream of being a kid again and venturing into those sorts of landscapes.

Like you, I don't believe that there are more evil people roaming the world now than there ever have been, well.. except in terms of the proportional "more" that comes with an increase in population.

I believe that it's entirely sensationalized fear- and it's awfully hypocritical, if you really pick it apart for analysis. Because we have FAR more surveillance everywhere now- we are watched almost everywhere we go- and we accept that, in spite of the fact that it infringes on civil liberties, because it presumably makes us safer. And yet, we can't let a child walk alone across a neighborhood because it's not safe? Where is the payback of safety that we are supposed to be getting with our allowance of constant monitoring?

This gripe that I have about my daughter not being able to have the same sort of childhood that I did is really just the tip of the larger complaint about the nature of the world that she is growing up in. And maybe I'm wrong, maybe there is something wrong with me, but I have to admit that I am much less afraid of the predators in this world than I am about the acceptance of the loss of personal rights to purchase a "safety" that is never delivered. Because the predator is just one person with relatively limited power, but the latter is a whole institution that has enough power to ultimately control pretty much everything in our lives.

It's worrying, indeed. And I thank you for coming by to share your experiences and thoughts.


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