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Richard or Rooster?  

GratefulGirl69 51F
1489 posts
7/9/2018 3:26 pm
Richard or Rooster?

Well, it's happening again: I am getting a serious case of sex-on-the-brain, becoming daydreamy and preoccupied with naughty, carnal thoughts.

It's been about 3 weeks since the double-ex scratched my itches, so I am not in as bad of a state as I was towards the end of the 6 weeks between the former-FWB and him. Thank goodness. It got pretty rough for awhile there, almost to the point of not entirely trusting myself. One night right before hooking up with him, I seriously considered (not just an errant thought, but a serious consideration) propositioning a random guy with car sex while getting gas at a convenience store late one night. I didn't act on it, but if it had been a day or two later...

I don't want to jinx myself by saying too much, but I am optimistic that I will have a chance to get sexed up during this upcoming free weekend/week. Of course, that does nothing to diminish my daydreamy sex thoughts now. And in the case of potential playmates found here- specifically those with kink lists- it actually increases those thoughts.

I have to admit that I love the kink list, get excited when I see that someone has an extensive one. It really is helpful in determining whether or not someone is a potentially good fit. If someone has only 3 items on the list, like Oral, Lingerie, and Massage... well, I feel pretty safe in assuming that he is going to be just a little too vanilla for the likes of me. Having no kink list is a bit frustrating because, as we used to say in history and archaeology, "absence of evidence is not evidence of absence." It's not safe to assume that someone who doesn't have a kink list isn't one of the kinkiest bastards on this site.

Still, I prefer to know. I like to see it in black and white. I enjoy scanning the extensive list of someone I am planning to meet or connect with, mousing over to see his preferences, my eyes undoubtedly gleaming with wicked pleasure at some of the possible available options.... and wondering just how far he might go with certain things, where his fine lines will be.

That's the stuff that my naughty daydreams are made of. The sexual landscape is criss-crossed with fine lines, with activities that are either safe, known-good, or open for experimentation on one side, and unpleasant, unwanted, and/or uh-uhn-don't-go-there on the other. That fine line between the two positions is a limit, a boundary. And nudging a limit, pushing a bit on a boundary, is extremely exciting, often downright thrilling, to me.

I've nudged some limits in my time, which typically resulted in either the fixing or the repositioning of boundaries. There are still quite a few things that I do not yet have a fixed boundary for, however. They are my undiscovered countries, my frontiers... and when I daydream about play with a possible new partner who possesses a promising kink list, I find that I tend to focus on those things in my lusty imaginings.

Yet as I said, my boundaries are fixed with certain things, and there is always a bit of concern attached to the contemplation of play with someone new due to that fact. Just because something is on his kink list doesn't mean that his limit is in the same place as mine. You can still be into the same things as someone and yet not essentially be into the same things.

Dirty talk is an excellent example. I love the stimulation of verbal play in a sexual context, find it impossibly difficult to be greeted with complete silence- and the expectation of my complete silence- when engaging in sexual activity with someone(s). There's something about bringing words into the mix that can heighten the sensual impact of certain activities and sensations, can tickle and engage the brain in a way that increases excitement and pleasure. It's like an invitation for the mind to play along with the body.

There is most definitely a limit in that, however- and I know exactly where mine is! Probably not surprising, given that I am an extremely verbal person. It only makes sense that it would be something with which I have a great deal of clarity.

My dirty talk boundary was permanently fixed through my experience with one particular former lover, one who eventually inspired me to indulge in frequent facesitting... not so much because of the quality of his oral skills (though they were notable!), but simply to shut him the hell up!

The fine line in dirty talk is one where the brain is tickled and engaged on one side... and where it takes over and over-rides what's happening with the body on the other. And this guy had a knack for shutting the body down with his verbal interaction, both by requiring it in excess and by introducing talk that was just not stimulating. Often the opposite of it.

Imagine you're going at it, hot and heavy, with someone, and at a certain point he pants, "you know that guy from the other week, the one you met at the hotel...?" And you pant back, "yeah." And he moans and gasps and says "tell me about that, what did you do, where did you fuck, was it is the bed or the hot tub?" And it's like --screeching halt-- ... because then you have to think back, reach back into memory to bring the occasion to mind, mentally review it to find the answers to his question, think about ways to convey the requested information in a manner that would be sexy, instead of merely informative.

And he would do that, ask about previous encounters with other men while we were in flagrante. Often going back to my married swinging days, or even back to the encounter in which I lost my virginity. Even though I knew he did that- and I tried to be prepared by thinking of details of experiences in advance- I still had a hard time keeping it from being something that distracted from the physical experience that I was currently in the middle of.

That was less challenging to deal with than his other verbal tactic, however, which was to suddenly pretend that he was a young girl being ravaged by an older man. But that's a story for another day. Actually, no, it's not- I am not ever going to go there! Sorry, folks.

But anyway, the point is that there are fine lines crossing almost every area of sexual activity and preferences, lines that define limits and boundaries... and I know where mine are in terms of dirty talk. I love it, want to engage in it- kind of actually need to- but there's a point where it becomes a distraction, not an enhancement.

Being a dirty talker, one thing that I have learned comes into play with a fairly high degree of importance and impact is knowing the right word to use when referring to a man's penis. Just in case anyone is unaware of this, "penis" is not the right word to use. It's an accurate word, of course, but it's not an especially sexy one. Certainly not a hot and kinky one.

It seems that the proper word to use in dirty-talking sexual contexts varies, however. It seems that some men prefer "cock," while others favor "dick." And in my experience, it is usually a rather distinct preference. I have had a lover or two who could switch them out without much sense of awkwardness, but in most cases, men seem to be more comfortable using one over the other... and will respond more favorably when the chosen one is utilized in naughty play.

And so, fellas, which is it for you? If you were to say, "that's right, baby, suck my _____," would it be dick or cock?

And gals- are you inclined to use one more than the other, if your lover seems to have no preference?

As always, thanks for being an audience to my weird and random thoughts, sexy friends!


GratefulGirl69 51F

7/9/2018 3:56 pm

I scrubbed the subject line for reasons of propriety, but I trust everyone gets it!

redrockrascal 62M
21722 posts
7/9/2018 4:23 pm

the double-ex Uhmm, do we now have to indicate the number of time we did then undid our exs? Cause that's gonna take some math.

Far as dick, cock etc. goes . . . I tend to prefer women who are on it without me having to say a word.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

GratefulGirl69 replies on 7/9/2018 5:04 pm:
LOL Yes... I was debating between double-ex and ex-squared... ended up deciding on the former.

So, no cock/dick terminology preference? You're flexible!

Thanks for stopping in!

STampa1971 49M
43 posts
7/9/2018 4:28 pm

I prefer cock lol

GratefulGirl69 replies on 7/10/2018 6:44 am:

ironman2769 55M  
12847 posts
7/9/2018 4:45 pm

The dude who spoke like a girl.....really? I bet you jumped on his every time her broke into that.....

I like cock.....and I am a dirty talker.....

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GratefulGirl69 replies on 7/9/2018 5:06 pm:
Oh no, it was hideous. Truly. He'd always start with "Gee, mister..." He thought it was sexy. I thought it was anything but.

Thumbs up for liking dirty talk... and thanks for chiming in on your word preference. There's quite of a bit of distance, but we never know, it could be good to know someday.

pocogato12 68F  
34891 posts
7/9/2018 5:01 pm

Dick always sounds silly. Some guys like "johnson" but that makes me think of floor wax I would never name a child Richard- get it?? Love this open honest post

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GratefulGirl69 replies on 7/9/2018 5:11 pm:
Thanks so much for visiting and commenting! I'm with you on all points- and I've struggled during the (thankfully rare) cases where a man liked an entirely different name, like a pet name, for his member.

And that actually reminds me- I had a lover once who always called a pussy a "pie"... and I had a hard time with that. It's one thing when casually conversing, but quite another when you're going at it and he uses a term like that.

Oh, the language of love...

thanks again for commenting!

mc_justmc 60M  
6610 posts
7/9/2018 5:02 pm

I used to do this thick Spanish accented character I called "Berto", my Ex hated Berto, but Berto luuuuved her too many. That was about all the dirty talk I did. It wasn't encouraged. Cock, I prefer the word cock. Dick is a word I use for the guy that cuts me off in traffic.

GratefulGirl69 replies on 7/9/2018 5:22 pm:
Berto, eh? Do you actually speak Spanish? The mind spins off into a Gomez and Mortitia sort of imagining, thinking about the use of a foreign accent and words.

For as foul of a mouth as I have (both in dirty talk and regular life), I actually call bad drivers "schmucko"s. The rage towards them is just too real and profound to apply normal nasty words to them.

Thanks so much for popping in!

mc_justmc 60M  
6610 posts
7/9/2018 5:05 pm

I almost typed the same thing, but then I added "the word".

GratefulGirl69 replies on 7/9/2018 5:19 pm:
Yeah... I was going to go there, too, but I want to encourage openness and a spirit of sharing here- thought that might be counter-productive to that aim. But it's okay for YOU to say it!

Greyhawk47 50M

7/9/2018 5:24 pm

I have to say I prefer cock when doing the dirty talk . The harder point is finding what is acceptable with your partner so things don’t get brought to a screeching halt.... I’ve had that happen before and it wasn’t pleasant.

GratefulGirl69 replies on 7/9/2018 7:46 pm:
You're absolutely right, Q- it's all about finding out what works for your partner and yourself. And it's different for everyone, so it's always a learning experience. So much fun!!

Thanks for being here!

sexydad1167 52M  
1361 posts
7/9/2018 6:33 pm

My preference is Cock. Its the same with women and the use of pussy or cunt. some its only pussy and cunt is derogatory or they prefer cunt. or both interchangeably.

Dirty talk is must have, whether its for some intellectual foreplay or during the heat of the moment.

I agree love it when the kink list is filled out to see if there is compatibility.

GratefulGirl69 replies on 7/9/2018 7:40 pm:
Thanks for commenting!

Good point, bringing up the pussy/cunt thing. A LOT of women are really bothered by "cunt," can't stand hearing it in any context. I actually like it, though- it's got a gritty, nasty feel to it that appeals to me, and I actually use it more often than most men. I certainly prefer it to "pie!" LOL

Glad I'm not alone in appreciating the kinks list. It's like a quick "cheat sheet" to see what someone's into, which is important for those of us whose tastes range faaaaar from the vanilla.

Again- thank you for coming by!

isitbreaktime2 54M

7/9/2018 6:46 pm


The Richard/Rooster thing is totally clever, well done.

LOVE dirty talk but it has to be natural, not planned, pre-scripted or by rote. I was with somebody once who sounded like she copped all her lines from 70's porn--"ooh baby, you know how to touch me"...only with even less enthusiasm than the typical porn actress. I really wanted her to stop but didn't want to kill whatever buzz we had going (did we have a buzz going? not really sure years later, lol).

But now I know next time I get into dirty talk it will begin with "Gee, Mister..."

GratefulGirl69 replies on 7/9/2018 7:31 pm:
Oh gosh, yes- I should have said that "dirty talk" doesn't mean bad porn dialogue. I also don't think things like "oh baby" and "harder, harder" qualify. It has to be natural and befitting the actual context of the moment.

Re: "Gee mister"... this is the first time I've realized that there's no middle finger emoji here.

bifun50 70M
298 posts
7/9/2018 7:23 pm

Always a joy to read, thanks for sharing

GratefulGirl69 replies on 7/10/2018 11:30 am:
Thank you! I appreciate you coming by!

moonbeam1 67M  
283 posts
7/10/2018 3:15 am

Just as much I like a lady holding my head as I eat here and saying "eat me" I like to say milk my cock as you suck me..mmmmmmmmm

GratefulGirl69 replies on 7/10/2018 11:32 am:
This might be a matter of semantics... but I think if a head is being held, then it's not an eating/sucking, it's a face-fucking. And I agree mmmmm

Thanks for the comment!

citizen4722 62M  
68449 posts
7/10/2018 8:17 am

I like a lady that nudges my curiosity and my kinks.
Cock is my preference...no guys; not yours

GratefulGirl69 replies on 7/10/2018 2:56 pm:
It's good that you're open to nudging... may you always be!

Thanks for commenting!

CedarsPrince 41M
1267 posts
7/10/2018 8:50 am

"my unit"

nah, just kidding. It doesn't matter if it's rooster or richard. Don't use penis; I want to suck your mammary glands doesn't sound hot lol

GratefulGirl69 replies on 7/10/2018 11:21 am:
Mammary glands! That's right- clinical is not usually sexy! Thanks for contributing!

author51 57F  
102442 posts
7/10/2018 9:19 am

Since most of my mornings posts are sexually explicit with naughty thoughts and words, my bedroom romps with my lover are as well...lol. We walk the walk, and talk the talk.When in the throes of passion it is for me "cock", not dick. We separate F**King, from Making Love and the dirty words come out only when seriously F**King each other silly...lol. When we make love, it is slower, more intimate, more words like "Cum for me baby" and "I Love You" from both of us..

I do not know if he asked me in between F**King, if I would like him asking about a past sexual experience. It would take my mind off of the pleasure we were giving each other...

Great post...

One can never have enough JOY in their life...

GratefulGirl69 replies on 7/10/2018 2:54 pm:
Thanks so much for sharing.

I think the best relationships are the ones where you can go hard and naughty at times, tender and sweet at others, depending on mood. And each does have its own vocabulary, words shared to enhance the mutual experience.

I haven't had that sort of relationship in a long time, but it's something I haven't given up hope of finding quite yet. Life can be as unpredictable as my too-verbal former lover... and there may be a time again with someone where the soft words are just as stimulating as the dirty ones.

Again- thanks!

avg_nice_guy 53M  
261 posts
7/10/2018 1:59 pm

great, now I will be lookin all around every time I stop for gas lmao

GratefulGirl69 replies on 7/10/2018 2:55 pm:
LOL That's right- you never know when a wretchedly horny chick might be lurking around, looking for random gas station play late at night!

scottj55555 52M
1977 posts
7/12/2018 12:34 am

Well, personally, I'd probably go with "Lick My Love Pump" and hope you are a fan of the movie "This is Spinal Tap"

Mfdmen 59M  
24 posts
7/12/2018 7:08 pm

Gotta go with cock. Or,in French, queue.

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