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In too deep  

Hvschickforfun 39F  
52 posts
7/8/2019 5:49 pm
In too deep

Now if you read the last two blogs, you know how it started and how it ended, the first time. Well after I had found the emails from his future fiancé, I was broken. Yes I know he’s married and didn’t really belong , but in my mind he did. I was obsessed with him. The sex was amazing and I was in love. However my college buddies had my back after I found that he was adding players his team.

Every Thursday night after there were a few of us that went for drinks. We went the same place and sat at the same table and had the same server that waited on us. Like I mentioned before two of them knew about Starboy. Well the ones who went for drinks knew I was upset and so they were let in on what was going on. I wasn’t the bubbly talkative person they knew me be. It was over anyway, so I thought.

The guy that always waited on us was cute and he always picked on me. So the “crew” thought he was into and that he shall be my new boo. No, no, no! It’s not happening. So my two girlfriends asked him every question the sun. Was he single? What were his goals in life? Where did he live? His phone number, for . NO! I don’t want see anyone. I didn’t want hurt his feelings so I just sat there with the WTF are y’all doing on my .

Well the more I drank the more I was open the idea of just going with him. So we exchanged numbers and a couple days later he called. He asked if I wanted go a movie. One of my co-workers was having a birthday party and I asked him if he wanted go it and he was game.

So he picked me up and off we go the party. We both said we wasn’t looking for anything serious and we would be just friends. I kinda explained what had happened with Starboy and he’d just gone through a bad breakup.

We get the party and I introduce him the few co-workers that were there. We grabbed a beer and found a table in the corner. The conversation just flowed. By the end of the night and lots of alcohol later he said he wanted see where this relationship went. What did I have lose.

We continue see each other and it got way more serious than I wanted. But shit happen and work sucked! I still had work with Starboy and that was hard. We fought all the time and it just sucked. I loved working there just not with him. So I didn’t want quit and I wasn't going let him get the best of .

Christmas was right around the corner and Will (my new boo) asked what I wanted for Christmas and I told him diamonds (I tell everyone that). I mean we hadn’t been dating that long and really didn’t expect anything from him. I hadn’t thought of getting him anything either. We haven’t even slept together. Most of our dates consisted of drinking beer and hanging with friends, mostly mine.

A couple days before Christmas he came over to my place and we watched a movie. When he went to leave, I walked him to the door and of his pocket he pulled a jewelry box. WTF is what my said. He handed it and said “Merry Christmas”. I opened it and it was a heart shaped diamond pendant. Why? He said, “you asked for diamonds.” I was joking!!!! I tell everyone that! Diamonds are expensive and it ls my way of saying don’t get me anything. And definitely not diamonds. I didn’t get him anything and felt like shit. He didn’t care. That’s when I knew he was more into this relationship more than I was.

My birthday was right around the corner and my friends threw me a party. It was fun but I got really drunk and passed really early. Will woke up and made sure I got home safe, tucked me into bed and went home. Now we are like 3-4 months in and he treated me like a queen. The best guy hands down that I ever dated! He was a keeper. I knew he was great guy and so did everyone else.

On my actual birthday, I went to work and there was a cake. How sweet are my co-workers? Nope, it was from Starboy along with a . I opened the and all I could see were the words, “ I’m sorry”! I tried hold back the tears but I couldn’t. I went and got myself together and I was going to thank him for the cake. He had left for the . I didn’t tell Will about the cake or the . Over the next couple of weeks Starboy was making an effort get back. He’s a smooth operator.

I didn’t want to hurt Will but I was right back in love with Starboy. And I began fucking him again. Will was totally oblivious to the whole thing. I didn’t want to break this guys heart. He’d been so good to . My friends loved him. So I continued date him while trying figure a way end things.

I had gotten really drunk one night and told a mutual friend of ours (someone I’d known for a long time and one of his co-workers) what was going on. I didn’t think he’d tell Will. He did and Will confronted me about it. He asked if I was fucking Starboy. I saw the hurt on his . And I’m not a liar, so I told him the truth. And told him that I didn’t want to see him anymore. My heat belonged to Starboy.

He leaned against my door and I saw the tears rolling down his cheeks. “Please don’t breakup with , please don’t!” He told me that he would forgive and we could get passed this. He didn’t want lose . He asked if that was the reason I wasn’t fucking him. It was. Some may think I’m a , but I really wasn’t. I never slept with Will. And that’s when I let the best guy walk away. And the first time I’d ever broken a heart. I was in too deep with Starboy.

travellerabc123 50M
3857 posts
7/10/2019 2:17 pm

Poor guy.

Embrace the suck

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