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Monster (JB/SM)  

Hvschickforfun 40F
53 posts
12/21/2020 2:28 pm
Monster (JB/SM)


Every once in awhile all the stars align and everything seems work out. It’s rare and it doesn’t happen often, so when it does, I hold on it.

A little over 2 months ago I helped L pack up his entire life, kissed him goodbye and he was off start a new chapter in his life. I knew from the start that he would be leaving but in the back of mind I hoped that he would stay. When are involved all bets are off and they Trump everything and everyone. He didn’t know if he would be back for Thanksgiving but he would for sure be back for Christmas and we would hang out then.

Last week he called and told he’d be here Thursday and so of course I wanted to see him ASAP. I had my work party Friday but I just had to stay long enough to exchange our gifts and I could dip out. L said to meet him at his house. No, he hasn’t even put it on the market yet. So after an hour at the party I texted L and told him I was on my way. I was super excited to see him.

As I pulled up I noticed the Christmas lights and was a little confused. But I seen his Rubicon in the driveway and so I grabbed the 40 Jell-O shots that I made for the party but forgot about them until I saw them in the floor board and went in. As soon as I walked in I was greeted by a big Ol bear hug. I’ve missed him so much. I picked up the container with the Jell-O shots in them and went to put them in the fridge. Luckily it’s -9° Outside so they were fine. We ate like 5 a piece before putting them up.

As I looked around the kitchen I noticed everything was in its place. I mean I helped pack everything in this kitchen and now it’s all bac WTF is up??? So I went through the rest of the house and it was all there, everything! Like it was never moved. Even the unmade bed. I’m confused #storyofmylife. “I couldn’t do it” he said. “Alabama is home and it’s where I belong!!” I had lots questions.

So while we cooked some food and ate the rest of the Jell-O shots he told me he went and he tried everything to like Cali, he just couldn’t. Not even his could keep him there. So he packed up what little he had unpacked in Cali and came home.

Over dinner the conversation quickly went from him to me. L is one of those on and off AFFers. He hides his profile longer than he keeps its active. So he hopped on to see what California had to offer and when he got home last week he decided to check in on me and he thought maybe I could use some “unwanted” advice myself. It doesn’t bother me though. Any advice that’s given I take what I need and what I don’t, I just don’t.

He said I think I know what your problem is. Instead of allowing yourself to heal you just replace what you think you need. Sure it was the sex that you thought you were replacing but also those lingering feelings too. You never allowed any real time before jumping to cover up that void. Which I know goes a lot deeper than these men. He said when people are ripped out of our lives whether it be by death or by choice there is always some sort of void.

Some voids you cannot fill and others that can be filled need time. It’s not always out with the old and in with the new. He said that while my feelings are real and valid, you can’t make someone who doesn’t care, understand. It’s not my job. He also said to continue to be who I am. Continue to be that friend. And if things do fall apart, don’t come in hot with the “I told you so”. Just be there to pick up the pieces. That goes with the past, present and future.

I gathered our plates and we cleaned up the kitchen. He had put up a dart board and so we jammed out, threw some darts and enjoyed a few more drinks. Made a few bets and enjoyed the rest of the night.

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