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Nutshell  

Hvschickforfun 39F  
52 posts
9/2/2020 8:01 pm
Nutshell


I believe that people are put into your life for a reason. Some go as as quick as they came while others can leave an everlasting mark. Last night was reminded how small this world is and how powerful addiction is.

L was busy on the grill and I was saving frogs from jumping in the pool and the music choice was 90’s alternative rock. If I had to pick my favorite band from that era it would probably be Nirvana. I asked L if he had to pick his fav, who would he choose? He said without hesitation, Alice In Chains. I know Rooster and of course Man in The Box but thats about all I knew off the top of my head. I asked him why AIC and he told me it was his brother’s favorite band. I didn’t know he even had a brother, he’s never talked about him. I knew he had a couple of sisters because he talks about his nieces and nephews and not wanting to move and miss out on their lives.

He asked me if I had ever heard Nutshell and it didn’t ring a bell so he found and played it. I had heard it, in fact I knew this song very well it’s just been awhile since I’d heard it. I remember very well the night I first ever listened to it.

During the summer, my friends and I would get together with some of the neighbors and grill for out. A couple of them would bring out their guitars and play until we were too drunk to remember the lyrics to any song. One of the dudes came over and brought his cousin who had just gotten out of jail and was pretty much homeless so he was gonna crash on his couch. He was trying to get his girlfriend out of jail so they could go to rehab. They were both heroine addicts. He was tall and very thin and covered in tattoos. He had on a pair of black rimmed glasses and bleach blonde hair. He asked my bestie for a cigarette and she just handed him the pack told him he could have it. He was very open about his addiction and wanting to get clean, but knew if his girlfriend wasn’t on board, he wouldn’t.

He asked one of the guys if he could play his guitar and he handed it over. He strummed on it for about 5 minutes and he had skills. We asked him what kinda music he knew and he knew a little bit everything. He played some request and he excused himself and went to use the bathroom. He was gone for awhile and we all knew what he was doing. He came back out and picked up the guitar and started playing Nutshell by AIC. Talk about a powerful song. At first I thought he had wrote it. We all sat in complete silence after he sang it. He talked about the conviction in Layne Staley’s voice and what that particular song meant to him.

I couldn’t remember his name for the life of me but I could see him there with the guitar and his beautiful voice. L said the guy sounded a lot like his brother, so I asked if he had a picture of him. He disappeared into the house and came back with a shoe box filled with pics. We joked how our will never know what it’s like to dig through a box of memories. He found one of his brother with a guitar with a cigarette hanging outta his mouth and it was him! That was the tattooed heroine addict that had a voice that touched your soul.

Unfortunately he died about 3 years ago to a heroine overdose just like Layne Staley, his idol. I kept my composure but I knew I had to leave before I completely lost it. I know about the power of addiction. I also know what it’s like to have a sibling that’s in the same spot his brother was in, at this very moment with the same drug. It’s very scary. But I know an addict isn’t gonna get help until they’re ready.

They say sex can be an addiction and I do love it, but not quite sold on the fact that any kinda professional help is needed. But then again I’ve been wrong many times.

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