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Where do broken hearts go  

Hvschickforfun 40F
53 posts
9/20/2019 10:18 pm
Where do broken hearts go

Good question! Where do they go? After I broke Will’s heart to go back to what I wanted only for it to blow up in my face, again, I decided to just be single for a while. It had been a very long time and I was young and I knew I could stand on my own two feet by myself. But that didn’t last long. That’s right, I had reached out to Will after the Starboy explosion and he was right there to pick up the pieces, again.

I knew how much he cared about me and I spent the next 5 years trying to convince myself that I was in love with him. Don’t get me wrong, I loved him but not the way he loved me. It makes my upset to think of all the bullshit I put him through trying to A. get over Starboy and B. make him happy. 5 years is long time and I was hurting both of us.

He dealt with my addiction to prescription pills, the loss of a parent and a lot of just craziness. No matter what I did or how much I pushed him away, he was always there. I often wondered why he never proposed. I guess he knew deep down that I wasn’t the one for him and that’s my fault. I did love him I just wasn’t in love with him.

We lived together for most of those 5 years and the night I ended it all, I made it out to be his fault. He had lied to me and I caught him. I told him to get the fuck out! I wasn’t going to deal with that. Yeah, a little narcissistic but it was a big one and could’ve have landed him in prison. I could have and should have handled it different but I saw a way out and I took it. It was over.and I was finally single. I’ll dive into some of those stories later- “the single days”.

Will and I lost contact. He was free to find some who deserved him and that treated him like he treated me. That’s all I wanted for him. Until I found out he got married. I know, crazy.... that’s what I wanted for him to be happy.

I guess it was a couple years after the split is when social media started getting popular. I had joined to Facebook bandwagon and well he added as his friend. It was good hear from him and I was living life and enjoying it for the most part. Good job, roof over my head, car to drive and some good partying friends. One random night he asked he if could come see me. I was plastered and was like sure, why not. 20 minutes later he was knocking on my door. It was late and he knew right away I was drunk. He used that to his advantage and we ended up fucking that night. I like sex.... hence why I’m on AdultFriendFinder!

After all that, we kept in touch. We didn’t talk everyday but I just couldn’t see myself without him in my life. He had moved on and we were simply friends. After everything I put him through he still wanted to be my friend and I could give him that.

He’s living his life and I’m living mine and his birthday rolls around and I call him to wish him a happy birthday and he invites me over. Once again I’m drunk and my girlfriend says she would drop me off at his place if that’s where I wanted to go. She dropped me off and left. I have no car (I didn’t need to drive nor would he let me) so looks like I’m spending the night with him. Whhhyyyy! Drunk!

I didn’t fuck him that night and the next morning he was mad about it. I mean how dare I call and wish him a happy birthday and then spend the night with him DRUNK and NOT fuck him. I still don’t know why I didn’t either. He took me home and I didn’t hear from him for a couple of months.

One night after work I went to a bar and got deep into a conversation with a friend of a friend. Didn’t really know him but I was caught up in some shit (that’s another blog) and he knew two of the people that were involved. That bar closed and the only other place that was open and still serving beer was the strip club and so we took our conversation there. I never knew that cops got in free at the strip club. They do or at least he did.

So we are deep into this convo and my phone rings, it’s Will. He wants me to come to where he is. I explain that I’m at the strip club and I didn’t drive and if he really wanted to see me he’d come there. He was beyond drunk. He too was at a strip club on the other side of town and didn’t have his car (not that he should’ve been driving). He wanted me to come there and it just wasn’t happening.

I found out later that he was having HIS bachelor party and the next day he had gotten married. I guess that’s why he didn’t answer his phone the next day. But it didn’t make sense to me. It was just a couple of months after his birthday that I had spent with him. I didn’t even know he had a girlfriend let alone getting married. Why the fuck did he call me and was very adamant about seeing me the night before.

Turns out he wanted to make sure he was doing the right thing. He told me that things moved fast and he would be 30 soon and thought he had to get get married. So he did.

Now I was not far from getting married myself when I found out he had gotten married. I was pregnant with my first and engaged to my now husband. But I was sad. I was happy for him but I was sad because it wasn’t me that he wanted. After all he never proposed to me. The thought of us getting me married was never even talked about through out our whole relationship. Why was he in such a hurry to marry this bitch? They just recently had a baby. So it wasn’t because she was pregnant.

I waited awhile before I reach out to congratulate him on getting married. I was a little nervous but I did. Once again he was very happy to hear from me. To this day we still keep in touch. We’ve met up a few times to bitch about being married and our lives now. It’s always good to see him and talk about the fun times we had. I’ve apologized for everything and of coarse being the great guy he is still tells he loves me no matter what.

12535 posts
9/20/2019 11:41 pm

Humanity peaked during the 20th century.
We can't even make a decent starter solenoid any longer.

TheElitesTRIAL 27M

9/21/2019 1:08 am

Find the love within m'lady, and I'm sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one is nothing short of devastating..a void that seems can never be filled. There is a silver lining though. Weed through the darkness to find that light and hold on tight.

English is my second language, Cunnilingus the first.
kik TheElitesPDeep

Hvschickforfun replies on 9/21/2019 11:05 am:
Thanks! Reading it, it seems like a heartbreaking story and in a way it is. But knowing where our relationship is today and the fact the he’s still in my life is a good feeling. He was and still is an important part of my life. I wish there was more people like him. A heart bigger than anything and just a good person despite all his heartache.

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