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Ethics of Pleasure  

Ianpoman 76M  
76 posts
2/18/2017 2:30 am
Ethics of Pleasure


A masseur I especially enjoy uses his whole body to massage mine. He's 20 something, great personality, avid athlete , awesome body, sometimes wears shorts, open to my touching him as he touches me, AND AFFORDABLE!!! It only works because I have no insistent expectations and we like each other as well. I don't ask for sexual favors or compromise his dignity or good nature. Yesterday he told me he's studying ethics in an online course. To me ethics is an illustration of character. Whatever we think of ourselves comes out in how we treat others.. If pleasure is really important to us, as it is to me, then I feel obligated to respect the other person as much as I expect the other person to respect me.

I think of pleasure this way, with someone I enjoy and who appears to enjoy me: "I want you to want what I want, but if you don't, that's okay". In other words pleasure is not all about me, me, me, but about a kind of flow between us, us, us.

Coercion is not cool. Seduction with no intent to honor the other is not cool. The tricky and complex thing is that our hard wiring for sex IS in fact often insistent and terrifically powerful. That's what makes this ethics challenging. That's a good reason for learning about our sexual desires, their diversity and how best to satisfy them without abusing others. Pleasure is as possible as it is desirable, but not so easy as it sounds. Any thoughts?

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