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Sexthics of pleasure: consent and/or coercion  

Ianpoman 76M  
76 posts
10/31/2017 2:51 am
Sexthics of pleasure: consent and/or coercion


What do you think of all the media coverage of women and men coming out dissing powerful men? Do you think these women/men have never been inappropriate or disrespectful or expressively horny with other women/men in ways that were not certifiably consensual (no drugs or alcohol or age differences or power imbalances involved)? I just wonder if sexual abuse is so easy to claim since the whole issue of sexual expression and activity outside of heteronormative, monogamous, married, singular, procreative sex is taboo. Since sexual ethics [sexthics ] along with anatomy and physiology is not taught everywhere, how is one to find out about those hormonal influences without some sexperimentation?

I don't believe anyone wants to be abused. I do believe that many men and women experience their sexual interests very strongly, insistently even, and we take risks in sexual self efficacy--the desire to please ourselves AND the partner. In BDSM is the wall between consent and coercion simply a safe word? Are no other, subtler, influences involved? How do most men and women on this site find out about their sexual proclivities? How do they feel about them?

I wonder if railing against sexual expressions that are not strictly conventional, we are distracted from issues of paying for health care, tax reform, a culture of belligerence and preparation for war, not to mention incivility. Any thoughts?

pocogato12 68F  
35625 posts
10/31/2017 8:25 am

Perhaps the recent ( in the past few years) plethora of accusation stems from the fact that only recently has any of this "violation" been made public to such a glaring degree. And the press/news media glories in sensationlizing it and thus, taking our attention away from daily necessities like health care, war, and more

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Ianpoman 76M  
74 posts
11/1/2017 3:08 am

Thanks for your comment. I agree that the press sensationalizes whatever titillates our fancies, while yawning at the basic necessities of living like the necessity of clean food, water and air, living wages, safe communities, investment in education that makes violence and war repulsive and figuring out ways of getting along that are fun and desirable. Stimulating fear is so much easier than stimulating cooperation, appreciation, and healing that restores well being in a time offense and injury.


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