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Jan's Thoughts
Random thoughts of a Transexual
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A Conversation with my Ass
Posted:Apr 5, 2020 11:29 am
Last Updated:Apr 6, 2020 12:04 am
Last night after several comforting Nite Caps I was in bed just starting doze off when I heard a voice calling .

“ Janice, Janice wake up”

Somewhat startled I answered,

“Yes, who’s there?’

“Down here, it’s your ass”

“Oh Hi, precious, How are you”

“Is there something wrong? I haven’t had any visitors for a long while. Is it something I did?’”

“No, not you, every body was told to stay home and alone”

“ Why?”

“The whole country is having a nasty virus, very serious”

“What’s a virus?’

“Bad bacteria that is spread from person to person by coughing, sneezing even just normal breathing and it gets in the lungs and can make us sick”

“Can it be spread from mouth to ass?”

“There is not enough medical data on that but I think not”

“Who told us to stay home?’

“The government”

“Who’s that”

“The elected people that make rules for us”
“Does the government have asses also?”

“Yes, but they only take care of their own asses mostly”

“When can I have friends over again?”

“I’m not sure, it may be awhile. You will have to be patient but when this virus is over, I expect you will meet several new friends, all glad to see you”

“New playmates? I want to have fun with them””

“Yes sweetheart and you will have some with old friends that have missed you they tell me”

“Thanks Jan, I feel better after talking with you”

“I know how much you miss your friends, believe me and remember, We Are in This Together. I hope you can sleep now”

“Yes, I will dream about what will happen after this is over. I’m very excited”

“I promise you that you will be first one I tell when this is over so you can be ready to entertain your friends again”
Fun Things to do on Lock Down
Posted:Apr 4, 2020 2:34 pm
Last Updated:Apr 9, 2020 6:38 am
Sorry, I can't think of any.
Just Some Things From Over the Weekend
Posted:Mar 30, 2020 11:14 am
Last Updated:Apr 4, 2020 2:28 pm
Shouldn’t it be called “Anti-Social Distancing” ?

I keep hearing politicians saying “We’re all in this together”. I went around my apartment asking “OK, who’s with me?” No answer. I must not be Together with anyone.

I tried to order a Dildo from Amazon. They said it didn’t qualify for Priority Shipping. I beg to differ.

I noticed I was still closing the door when I go to the bathroom. I don’t know why.

I found it ironic that initially April was the day we would be allowed go out. Isn’t that the last day send in your Taxes? I don’t think this was just a coincidence.

And, shouldn’t April Fools Day be delayed? No one prank if we’re in Isolation.

In my area, Grocery delivery is now two days but wine is still 2-4 hours. I haven’t figured that one out yet but I’m happy while waiting for my food arrive.

When deliveries do arrive, I just open the door just enough slid out a Tip, and then wait for them leave before I quickly grab my stuff and immediately wash my hands.

I had a Video Conference Call this morning from work. Everyone called in from home. I couldn’t stop wondering what everyone was wearing, or not wearing, below the screen.

What would we do without the internet during this Isolation time?

I saw the markets in Wuhan, China are reopening and still selling live Bats, Dogs, Spiders and Lizards. No wonder doctors are saying it’s just a matter of time before another Pandemic.

I keep hearing about a Doctor shortage. Could it be that it seems they’re ALL on television instead in the hospitals?

I don’t mean to sound indifferent to this crisis but do we really need to be updated hourly on the exact number of reported cases? We know it’s bad already.

I need to work on taking Selfies with no one else to take my pictures.

Observations from Being Quarantined
Posted:Mar 28, 2020 12:16 pm
Last Updated:Apr 7, 2020 3:34 am
First, I want toThank Everyone that took the time to send me notes of encouragement, checked on my well being or just helped me pass the time with a friendly chat. I appreciate all of your concerns and well wishes. I really meant a lot to me and showed me that so many people are truly friends.

I have been on Quarantine for weeks now and am doing fine. No symptoms of the Covid-19 Virus and for that matter no one from my staff also on Self Quarantine has shown any symptoms. I plan to be on “Lock Down” until April 15 to follow the guidelines here in New York City.

I am amazed at how well this city is observing the Lock Down. I can see both 5th and 6th Avenues from my balcony and there is very little traffic and few people. The City That Never Sleeps is at least Resting right now.

I believe it will not be “Life as Usual” here for quite awhile even after the stay isolated directive is lifted. Bars and restaurants will need to time reopen and bring back staff. Some places may never reopen due to the financial burden. Without being able to operate and still having to paid rent, many of the small, privately owned businesses will not survive. Even during GOOD Times, they were working with a small profit margin.

I think the Food and Grocery Delivery will see an increase in business even after this is all over. People will see the convenience and safety of this as important. The joy of cooking at home will be rediscovered. New York City will see and increase in the number of scooters and specialized small delivery trucks making deliveries thus probably a reduction in air pollution.

Also, Guidelines for Tipping Delivery will need to change. As many restaurant workers will turn to being delivery people, they will need to be tipped at higher levels. Besides just the Delivery Charge you will need to willing to Tip similar to the 20 to 30% Tip you leave in restaurants.

Talking with friends we also see the Casual Hook Up scene changing. I think fewer people will be willing to take the chance of having sex with a stranger until there are ways to guarantee he or she is safe to be with. Maybe after a Quick Virus Swab test is developed and readily available will people go back to casual dating. As I told a close friend, a good idea would be a 15 minute Swab Test that is highly accurate and sold in Drug Stores next to the Condoms under a sign “Stay Safe, Swab before Sex”.

Society will also change from traditional offices to more people working at home whenever possible. Although this was happening slowly in the US, I see a larger and faster shift to Off Site working. Already new and better means to Tele Conference are hitting the markets.

On a Personal note, I also see a decline in the business. I think that the normal Conferences, Trade Shows and Associations Meetings will be vastly reduced. People will be less likely travel so the number of people visiting New York will decline thus the demand by out-of-towners for an will decline proportionally. Another business that may suffer in the Post Virus world. I haven’t checked which industries are included in the recently passed Stimulus Package but I tend doubt will be getting any Government Assistance.

I believe new and innovative ways masturbate will be created. Forced stay home in isolation this is probably happening and word will surely spread. With the tend post anything new or different on social media, look for people share new and imaginary way of self pleasuring. New Toys will become available to allow people to have diverse ways to self satisfaction. I see a need for Self Squirting Dildo with a Head that gets enlarged as it get warmer or senses faster motion The Life Like Female Humanoid industry will see a boom.

I’m thinking too much. Must be from the Wine I had Delivered and Tipped for.

Staying Busy During the Lock Down
Posted:Mar 22, 2020 1:43 am
Last Updated:Mar 29, 2020 10:20 pm
When I first was told to Self Quarantine at home, I made a list of things to do while at home. I’m trying to do busy things really to avoid watching too much news and also just busy.

Clean out my Closet - We all keep things we really have no intention of wearing again but put off getting ride of them for some reason, usually just laziness. I started cleaning out my closet and also my dresser drawers. Amazing how many things I found that I have no idea why I still have them.

Try new Recipes - I have a stack of recipes I downloaded from the internet that I meant to try earlier, but on a normal work day, when I get home it is just quicker and easier to whip something you already know. A few days ago, I started making something new every day.

Work my Book - I have been working to put a book together “Food, Wine and Sex” for a couple years. I don’t think that I have Writers’ Block. Instead I have Writers’ Malaise so just have been putting this aside for awhile. So along with trying new recipes to possibly add, I plan to formalize the notes I‘ve been making and saving in to something more readable.

Improve My Baking - It can take some time to assemble the ingredients, the bowls and measuring spoons/cups, and to read the recipe before mixing the ingredients and being ready to pop it in the oven. Well, now that I have the time, I’ve been baking more and some different recipes. I usually share my Baked Goods with my one elderly neighbor and the Security/Door guys in the lobby. Now I found that with so many places closed, my Baking is more appreciated by others in the building. Really makes me feel good.

Refresh My Skin - New York City air is just dirty from all the traffic.
Unavoidable, and if you wear even a little make up the dirty air sticks to your face and clogs your pores. Even thought I am careful to wash my face really good every evening, I believe there must be some residual damage. Now being home, I’m not using make-up, well still a little bit, and replenishing my skin with more moisturizing lotions and I also have the time to really soak in the bath tub more often.

Trying to Keep a Normal Work Schedule - Being home all day can be the time you want to make friends with your sofa and TV. To stay away from that temptation, I try to maintain a normal work pattern. I still get up about 6 AM, make the coffee, shower and dress for work before starting on my work from home routine. I even take breaks about the same time I would in the office. I don’t put on my usual work clothes, a little more causal, but I don’t think I would want to get much work done if I were in my nightwear all day. Being on Quarantine is no excuse to get sloppy.

Just some things I’m trying to do to get through these unusual times and not let boredom take over. Actually, this Quarantine Life is not so bad if you stay active.

Please stay Safe and Sane,

Just Wondering,
Posted:Mar 20, 2020 8:54 am
Last Updated:Mar 31, 2020 9:15 am
Like many people working from home, I have a problem concentrating on wor The normal intensity of the office environment is missing so my mind wanders more. Anyway, here’s a few things I’m wondering about.

If everyone is told to stay home, Do we need Weather Reports anymore? What will happen to the people who do the Weather Reports? Will they be able to receive special compensation for losing their jobs “Through No Fault of Their Own”?

I read that in many areas that had not previously allowed home delivery of alcoholic beverages is now allowing them due to people being told to stay home. Almost makes me laugh that those permissions are called “Emergency Actions”. Now I’m sure this is good news to people in those areas but I wonder, why not allow home delivery of Recreational Drugs also? These are extraordinary times, we need extraordinary solutions.

I read this story on the internet, “Experts Predict a Baby Boom from Stay at Home Guidance” I just wonder, what kind of Experts are these? Are they Experts at being able to predict how often people will have sex? And what is their specialty called, Sex Counting or what? And do we really need any kind of Expect to tell us this is going to happen? If data was available to support this, I would think most pregnancies begin on a weekend when PEOPLE ARE HOME TOGETHER.

If there is a Baby Boom from this virus outbreak, what will they call that Generation in 20 years, The Corona Generation? Maybe not a good idea because there are other types of Corona that cause pregnancy. Would be difficult to differentiate between the .

What about all that Hand Sanitizer people panicked buy. If every one is staying home, do you still need it? Also, I wondering, can Hand Sanitizer be used in a Lubricate in a pinch? Might be needed now that booze is getting delivered.

I noticed I get more requests watch guys masturbate on CAM. Were these guys also told to Work From Home? And what kind of job do they normally go to, Sperm Donors?

I’m getting a lot of messages from clothing stores about Sales on the internet while their stores are closed. I’m wondering, why would you need more clothes to work from home? No body will see your new wardrobe anyway.

I wonder why employers don’t give some toilet paper to every employee told to work from home? Surely there is a large supply in the Janitorial supply room at the office and no one is there to use it now. They should give everyone rolls of toilet paper along with a lap top when telling employees to Work From Home.

I saw several celebrity chefs offering to provide tips about cooking at home. Won’t this have a lingering effect on the restaurant business if this catching on, Cooking at Home? Imagine, people cooking their own food.

Almost unreported is that crime is down during this virus Emengecy. I sort of feel sorry for the criminals, I don’t think they can Work From Home.

I better get back to working from home.

Timely Advice from a Transexual
Posted:Mar 19, 2020 6:52 am
Last Updated:Mar 23, 2020 5:16 pm
Something occurred to me this morning about being safe during the Corona Virus outbreak. I have sent an email to the CDC in order to confirm this but I haven’t gotten a reply yet. I imagine they are very busy answering everyone questions and they will sent me an answer as soon as they can.

My question to them is this,

“In order to help reduce the risk of passing the Corona Virus to a truly loved one, Is Anal Sex safer than Face to Face sex?”

To me, it makes sense to minimize facial contact, Kissing mostly, during sex during this crisis. Also, this way the heavy breathing that happens during sex won’t need to be eliminated as you will not be facing each other.

When Gasping during sex you likely are pulling in larger than normal amounts of air. This could heighten your chances of inhaling the virus.

So Ladies, to be safe, have your partner get behind you for much safer sex.

We all need to make some sacrifices during this epidemic to help keep America safe. Do your part, have more Anal Sex.

I actually have been encouraging more Anal Sex for years. Turns out, I may have been ahead of the times.

I’ve attached a photo to show the recommended position for safer sex.

doing my part to help
Women and Transsexuals
Posted:Mar 3, 2020 11:52 am
Last Updated:Mar 27, 2020 8:29 am
This is a very fascinating subject . Mainly because I had never thought about it until relatively recently.

Within the last year or so I have been contacted by several women proposing “Hook up” and I don’t mean just for coffee. After first ignoring these message I finally got very curious about why women, CIS Females at that, were sending me messages so I decided follow up with some of them.

I wasn’t just playing naive when I answered these emails, I truly was without any knowledge of their motives. I didn’t know what expect.

After, sometime several, conversations I have a better understanding of WHY a naturally born woman would be interested in meeting me, a Transsexual. These conclusions are not scientific research but my own observations thru discussions and meetings with some women.

First of all, of those I have talked or met, the majority are married and in a seemingly normal Husband and Wife relationship other than the desire for a sexual relationship outside the marriage. They are more curious than experienced of sex with a Transsexual. This is very similar men I have meet.

The single woman I met were younger and and much more open all and any sexual orientation. They actually seemed be attracted sexual diversity.

Of the married women I talk with, for the most part were very aroused by acts other than intercourse. Kissing, caressing, fondling for example. I just assume these might be missing in their normal sexual activity. Long Foreplay or long periods of erotic stimulation seemed be what they were looking for.

Also, I never had a woman suggest she wanted give Oral sex. They would rather receive Oral sex than perform it with a Transexual. Again, this could be something missing from their regular sex.

Only a very few women even mentioned in the slightest, that she wanted have sex with a Transexual. I think this may be an understanding that most all Transsexuals have got through their Transition, either fully or partially, in order attract men and that having sex with a women would be a step backwards from that objective.

This brings me another point I want make. Most all adult humans can be Passionate. Women seem be able have Passion and COMPASSION much more than men. They want share their feelings but care about the other persons feeling also. It’s not always just about receiving sex but also about giving the other person a true feeling of romance.

Perhaps the most confusing thing about a Female/Transexual relationship is the women I have talked do not appear have Lesbian tendencies or proclivities. Maybe that’s because they do not want admit it much like the men that called themselves STRAIGHT but want have sex with a Transsexual.

As for Couples that have contacted saying they both want have sex with , I place them in a completely different category, mutually watching each other fulfilling some fantasy. In those cases, the woman often wants give Oral sex and the husband want have Anal sex with . I have leave this for another Blog Post until I actually experience this. The only times I met with a couple, it just involved the husband in one way or another.

I admire the women who have opened up share their deepest feeling with . Thank you for helping better understand the sexual complexities of people. We truly all have different desires and different ideas on how satisfy them.

So much more learn and explore,

Posted:Feb 14, 2020 11:01 am
Last Updated:Mar 7, 2020 12:53 am
“Legs, legs. it’s legs that I love,
Because I know there is Heaven above”


Clever little quatrain that some people credit to Omar Khayyam, but there is no proof he ever wrote this. I assume some slightly mellow horny old guy muttered this over this wine one night in a bar.

I also assume it really applies to a woman with shapely legs wearing a short skirt. Those are the only things I can think of that can possibly divert a man’s eyes from a woman’s breasts.

I think a nice pair of feminine legs can send a very powerful and sexually covert massage to a man. He may not even realize a message is being sent, but in most cases his sub conscience senses it.

Women for at least the last century have been gradually showing more and more of their legs, and other areas of her body. The reason for this is to attract men, nothing else.

Legs have taken on more importance as skirts have gotten shorter. It seems to me, the shorter the skirt, the more a woman is signaling she wants sex. It suggest a shorter and easier path to the to her erogenous zone.

Men view women’s legs as somethings that needs to be spread open so that they may have unhindered access for sex. The farther apart they can get a woman’s legs, the more accessible the Heaven ol’Anonymous was musing about will be.

I read several years ago that when a woman is seated next to a man, her crossed legs send clean signals. If her legs are crossed away from him so as she is showing the outer thigh, she is not interested in having sex with him. However, if her legs are crossed toward him and showing him an inner thigh, she is willing to have him as a sexual partner. It also makes turning toward him or away from him easier and legs mays be re-crossed at any time if the woman’s intent changes.

It also suggest that if a woman is seated, and crosses her legs at the ankles, she is open to negotiations about sex. You may have to wait to see how she crosses them at the knees later.

In the same article was mention that if a woman is standing and crosses her legs at the ankles, she is telling everyone to stay away, don’t even think about having sex with me.

If any of this actually valid, I don’t know for sure. But I do know this, when you sit down, in a short skirt, the slower you cross your legs the more sinuous it appears to men. I guess it’s even OK if you let them get a quick view of your crotch as you slowly entwine your legs.

Finally, dressing the legs with a nice pair of stockings and heels is another way to give your legs a voice. Men just seem to hear legs that are well appointed much better. Men can hear legs in Stockings saying “Yes, we want to fuck”.

It doesn’t matter how hard you squeeze your legs together, men can hear what they are saying.

A Winning Poker Strategy (maybe)
Posted:Feb 10, 2020 12:49 pm
Last Updated:Feb 17, 2020 7:40 am
Partner took me to Atlantic City this last weekend as an early Valentine gift.

He has been trying to convince me to Play Poker whenever we go to Atlantic City. Poker is his game of choice whereas there are some other activities I prefer. But, since this was his gift idea, I decided to spend some time in the Poker Room with him.

I’ve tried playing Poker on other visits but never had any real success. I think I may have been too nervous and knew I had very little chance of winning.

As we drove down there Friday evening he again was doing his best to give me tips on being a successful Poker Player. He was telling me so much about different situations it was getting confusing. I asked him to please just give me a few basic rules so I wouldn’t embarrass either of us.

Without much thought he gave me a couple tips. Not necessarily how to be a better player but how to improve chances of winning.

Rule 1

Show boobs. Not everything but wear something low cut that shows off cleavage as much as possible AND is still within the rules of the Poker Room Dress Code.
Occasionally, lean forward as if straining to see something across the table like someones of chips

Rule 2

Before the Flop, when you look at your cards, Only stay with a Nice Pair. Easy to remember, show pair but only stay with a nice, relatively big pair.

So Saturday evening he signed us both up a Omaha Poker Tournament. Before the Tournament started we had our table and seats assigned but we were not at the same table as it turned out.

I think there were only two or three other women signed up to play but I was showing the most boobs. I started to wonder about the advise Richard had given me, was it correct or not.
I played very conservatively as I had been told and actually held on even though strategy was easy the other players to quickly figure out. As I gained a little confidence and I stayed with two big cards of the same suit, the others assumed I had a large pair so they didn’t stick around.

After the first break, I was about where I started and still in the tournament. As more players were eliminated, including Richard, the other player we're watching to see if they might make the Final Table.

Long story short, I made the Final Table, first time ever, and wound up coming in Forth Place. Just enough to win some .

I think the other Final guys wanted me to keep winning so they could look at boobs between hands.

So in short, I may have won using the Boob Strategy. Maybe it was coincidence and it was just time to win but I prefer to think not. We all know how distracting a woman with nice tits can be to a man in normal circumstances. Their brain won’t let them forget it.

Next time we visit a Casino, I’ll try the Boob Strategy again. This could be the best Poker advise I ever received.

Becoming a Dominatrix
Posted:Jan 25, 2020 9:50 am
Last Updated:Feb 13, 2020 5:57 pm
I recently have had a couple different men who have told me they are interested in having me be their Mistress. Mistress as in BDSM, not as a sexual partner outside of an existing relationship they have with another woman or lover.

I have had a fascination with some portions of the BDSM scene for a long while. Mostly the Bondage and Domination aspects but my earlier attempts to become a Dom or be subjected to Bondage didn’t inspire me to proceed. I clearly didn’t know what I wanted, or how to do it, so I failed to find enough satisfaction to continue.

In fact, looking back at my efforts to be a Dom were total failures. The one time I try to Dom my Partner I used a Strap On that was too large. It caused him pain and I really didn’t want to hurt him. We never tried it again after that one experiment.

As I said, my interest in Domination was rekindled after different men asked be my Slave. I even started corresponding with one and verbally humiliating him and making him do demeaning tasks. I realized that I was starting down the same path as before, not knowing exactly what was expected of me.

Thru this site, I contacted a few Mistresses asking for help in learning how be a Dominatrix. One final agreed meet with me and give me some advise.

We met for lunch last Tuesday at a small restaurant in Manhattan. Right away I was impressed by her confident attitude and smart appearance. You would never imagine her as someone who was a professional Dominatrix.

As a matter of fact, anyone who observed us at lunch there was no way they could have guessed what we were talking about. We could have been friends taking a break from shopping or coworkers discussing a new Project. We could have even appeared as sisters discussing family matters.

This had all the appearances of a Business lunch except we were talking about the Business of Dominating willing men.

She, I promised not reveal her real name or her Professional name, was rather matter of fact in her answers my many questions. There was no emotion or hype in her answers, just guidance as how I should approach this new venture in my life.

The first thing she told was that she never had sex with any man she was Dominating. The men she dealt with, her customers as she referred to them, were not expecting sex in a traditional way. They were there to be subjected to Humiliation, Pain or Anguish. Denying them sex was part of what they expected. They don’t even expect a Good Bye kiss.

She stressed that it was extremely important to know exactly what the man wanted in advance of a Session with him. Similar to him being a customer in any other transaction. He knows what he want, you provide that service and everybody leaves happy.

This is simply Role Playing she said. You, even as the Dominate one, are expected play the role he needs. She told me of one man who expects to be Diapered and after he wets his diaper to be spanked and scolded as if she was his mother.

Dressing for the role is key to being what he expects. Different roles require different costumes to successfully play the role and to heighten his experience. Being a Dominatrix does not always required wearing skin tight leather and Tall Boots. You sometimes are asked to be a Nurse, a School Teacher, a School Girl, a Mother or even a Sister figure. Dressing for a particular role is paramount to being a Good Dominatrix.

My name for this new role must be chosen carefully to compliment the role, or roles, I am aiming to fulfill. I’m giving this a lot of thought.

I learned so much from her in an hour that I feel ready to give it another chance. Only this time, I will be better prepared.

I’ll update this later after my first Session with a customer. Whenever it happens.

Let’s Get Rid of BJ
Posted:Jan 20, 2020 1:42 am
Last Updated:Jan 25, 2020 9:47 am
No, no, I’m not talking about doing away with Oral Sex, just the stupid term Blowjob. I can’t think of a more inaccurate expression for a sex act.

I’ll give you that we all know what getting, or giving, a BLOWJOB means but that doesn’t make the term correct. This is the 21st Century, humanity wants precision.

Just look at the word Blowjob and break it down to its simplest parts, BLOW and JOB. Neither apply to what really is inferred here.

First of all, BLOWS on a cock? I tried it once and the guys yelled at me, “What the hell is wrong with you?”

It’s not like blowing on food to cool it off. A cock never gets that .

And you’re certainly not trying to inflate a guy by BLOWING him up through his inflation tube.

Have you ever hear a guy in the passion of intense Foreplay tell you, “Yeah , blow that cock”. Of course not, they tell you to SUCK it.

And where is the JOB in sucking a cock. OK, some may do it Professionally so that would be their JOB. But for most of us, it’s more liken to a HOBBY, something we enjoy outside of our daytime job.

Alright, the proper term for Oral sex is Fellatio, which nobody uses anymore. It’s a beautiful word but it’s like going to the Opera. No one knows what they’re saying.

By the way, Fellatio means Oral sex when a Penis is involved and means descriptively “To suck”. I don’t know the verb form of Fellatio, maybe it’s the . Probably comes from Latin and only lawyers know what it means. I’ll avoid the urge to say something about lawyers and sucking (but most suck).

To get back to my , we don’t need the term BLOWJOB any longer. There are better ways to say what is really meant here. Even the phrase “Suck him off” is better, even though you’re actually “Sucking it of him”. It still better describes what going on.

“Go down on him” is fairly accurate if you think about standing up or getting on your knees. Your getting your mouth down to the level of his cock, you’re going down.

“Giving Head” or “Throat Fuck” also give a better mental image than Blowjob the way I see it.

Whatever yo want to replace it with is fine with me but let’s get rid of the term BLOWJOB and move forward to a better, more precise world.

Helping to Advance Society
Domestication, My chosen Path
Posted:Jan 9, 2020 1:41 pm
Last Updated:Jan 18, 2020 9:56 pm
My Transition to Womanhood has gone far beyond just appearing to be a woman. I have also Transitioned in to the roles women traditionally are expected to perform and I love it.

Putting on a Dress and Heels and going to work everyday is still something I enjoy but it is also all the little things that define being a woman in today’s society. This is the total Transition; Body, Mind and Spirit.

Changing the Body to a more Feminine Body was the first step in my Transition. Taking Hormones (Estrogen and Testosterone Blockers) brought all my secondary Feminine characteristics slowly outward. I rounded out and became smooth and softer, less muscular and more womanly. Looking back, this was fairly easy with the of today medical science.

When it came adjusting my Mind to thinking as a woman this took some time. Men and women have different ways of thinking on many matters so the side of me that was more outgoing and adventurous had to be put aside and replaced with a much more reserved and cautionary thought pattern. Some might think this is contrary to women of today that want equality in all things but I was learning how to think as a traditional woman before injecting competitiveness in to the process. That came later as I gained confidence.

I have had to learn empathy, humility and to let my emotions out. Different from men who feel the need to be macho and tend to brush sensitive matters off with “Screw em!”, I have learn to be more compassionate and understanding as I imagine a woman to be.

To my way of thinking, a woman’s Spirit embraces all things that a traditional woman, in a relationship, has to undertake. I grew up without being in a typical /Father family environment. I never knew who my father was and my drifted from boyfriend to boyfriend while I was growing up so my views on the role of a woman are mostly the result of what I saw on television or heard from my friends in stable two parent homes.

To complete my Transition to Womanhood I have taken on all the things normally done a woman.

I enjoy keeping the apartment immaculately clean everyday. I never leave used dishes out overnight or when I go to work. When needed, I vacuum and dust the living room often before I go to work. This rushes me some mornings so I may be putting on makeup during the ride to work but my apartment is clean when we get home in the evening.

I look forward to getting up early and having his coffee ready and making him a good breakfast when my partner gets up. I feel compelled to make sure he starts the day the way I know he likes to. He usually leave for work before me so I get up about 6 AM to make sure I can be ready for him when gets up around 6:.

I also make us a good dinner at home. I love to cook and shop every couple days for fresh food. I often call my partner during the day to ask what he would like for dinner. If he has something special in mind, I pick up what he wants on my way home and hurry home to start preparing dinner.

I never say I’m too tired to make dinner and order a carry out or delivery. It is a woman responsibility to always have a nutritious meal for her loved ones and I take that seriously. My Partner may have a Fast Food lunch of something not too healthy but I also try to offset that with a good nutritious dinner that includes fresh vegetables and plenty of protein.

I make sure the laundry is alway taken care of drop it off in the morning. He never even has to think about how it happens that he always has clean clothes. That my job as a woman as I see it. That’s what your did and to a certain measure the female in a relationship takes over for the in your man’s life.

And if and when my partner wants to make love, it’s the woman role to accommodate him. He is biologically different and his sexual appetite is stronger than a woman’s so a woman should understand his needs and always be willing to accept him. This is something I did learn from my , she never said no to a man.

As a Transexual, this is easier for me. I never have to deal with what is sometimes delicately described “my time” so I never have to put him off having a “headache”. There may be times when I’m just not in the mood but he’ll never know when I’m faking an Orgasm and he’ll always believe he completely satisfied me.

This may all sound like the old saying, “Barefoot, Naked in the kitchen” but it isn’t. That sounds like total subservience whereas I am there choice. I am not like most female who have these responsibilities thrust upon them simply being born a woman. I have chosen to assume this life and all that goes with it in order to make my Transition as complete as possible.

The fact that I have a Penis instead of a Vagina won’t slow me down as I seek to fulfill my role as a Woman in this life. I embrace everyday as another opportunity to become a Total and Better Woman.


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