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INSIGHT INTO MONOGAMY vs Traditional Marriage and deeper insight into SWING LIFESTYLE couples  

Jchris2018 40M/35F  
63 posts
7/21/2020 1:53 pm
INSIGHT INTO MONOGAMY vs Traditional Marriage and deeper insight into SWING LIFESTYLE couples


INSIGHT INTO MONOGAMY

Articles written by a former professional dating coach, psychology degree in Human behavioral studies.

This is a deeper look at the decision to share sexual partners, not just SEX oriented decision but based much deeper within the human brain and predicated more so on tenants of psychological nature of human Biology.

MOST people think its just a SEX hookup site.

The decision for most experienced , tenured , quality SWINGER members is much deeper than just fucking or sex and requires a little more connection , commonality and respect than people think.

ITS ALSO why we see 10's of thousands of DEACTIVATED profiles in our 7 years here that quit in as little as 90 days due to NO success because they lacked a true understanding how the SWINGER WORLD works and why people choose to have open relationships of some nature

Almost civilizations before the advent of Christ had some form of communal love making and sharing.
Greek, romans, Indians (wrote the Kama sutra) , Norwegian (Vikings would share wives prior battle, in hopes that men would be more apt protect their brothers back in war, creating a closer fighting and family unit within their society)

Japan this day still has certain open marriage unwritten rules- MEN have concubines and it’s not uncommon for women have a partner AFTER having a baby since a mothers brain changes BABY BRAIN rather than having attention towards male partner as it would have been prior to motherhood days.

I often think that these cultures had it CORRECT -- we are varietal creatures...

You only see anomalous examples where a HUMAN would choose to have the same dinner, same drink, and same vacation, drive same car etc. etc... You see the pattern, for an entire lifespan

Marriage came out of necessity during religious creation and was useful for when we lived to age 35 to protect and nurture a family.

It did not take into consideration longevity of 90 yrs. old present day.

Humans are varietal creatures and to expect one partner to be the EVERYTHING for another person for a lifespan is asking a lot.

This is also why we have friends with different personalities that we may choose to spend company since they serve different interest and needs for us on a social scale.

There are tons of statistics going the way back the KINSEY sexual institute studies in the 1960's

74% of men anonymously report some form of infidelity during a marriage
You would think much lower for women?

63% of women anonymously report infidelity

30% of married couples report staying in an UNHAPPY marriage for or financial reasons and are NO longer in love with their partner.

Add that a natural DIVORCE rate of 50% 54% in any given year means that 84% of marriages end in divorce or unhappy pairing where almost ¾ of both men and women have cheated.

It should be readily apparent that monogamous marriage has never truly been monogamous.

Ask any mathematician and these numbers mean that DIVORCE & CHEATING is the majority not representative of monogamous marriage being successful at .

We are not against marriage BUT do believe that there should be more individualistic rules and arrangements for each set of people –

Not rely an old antiquated system that never took human psychology into consideration... we blindly follow a lot of societal constructs without truly thinking about them and how they affect our relationships with each other

We don’t think we have any more answers than anyone else.. BUT do feel that making your own rules and family unit around reality makes far more sense than something that is 2000 years old.

There is a GREAT book out there called "AGAINST love” Laura KIPNIS ... its a "polemic" which is a story based on truths that is written not to answer any specific question but rather to provoke thought and conversation --GREAT BOOK

The most reported anonymous FANTASY by men is to see their wife sleep with another man... Also has not changed since the 60's since KINSEY INTSTITUE studies and has some roots in "sperm competition" –
-hidden deep within our brain AMYGDALA to be exact are instinctual drives and instinct just like any other mammal on the planet

when most animals mate another animals girl LOL ... they are immediately driven to have sex so that the SCOOP of the penis can REMOVE the other sperm and deposit yours to further promote pro creation of the strongest and most virile sperm --whichever one that may be ..

No matter how hard we try or what means we use to place ourselves into boxed dogma of societal thinking... You will never beat biology...

BIOLOGY will win even if it’s just in fantasy inside the head and never acted on.

Why porn is so popular and in some cases just as bad as the "cheat" part...

easier to just talk about it and grow as a race to understand needs and human interaction.

Mdonson57 59M
8 posts
8/24/2020 10:04 am

Hindsight is 20/20. Being in a sexless marriage has definitely taught me a thing about monogamy. I’ve come to learn that sex and physical connection is very important. If life gets a do over I hopefully will make some better decisions. Thanks!


booby_01 50M/47F
70 posts
8/1/2020 8:22 pm

Good reading. Thanks.


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