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WTF is it with men thinking spanking is every woman's delight?  

Ladyvivamus 65F
34 posts
3/18/2020 8:53 pm
WTF is it with men thinking spanking is every woman's delight?

I was a member of a large swinger club near Seattle long ago. And in all my romps with men there over several year not one ever tried to slap my ass. Nor did any of the women I chatted with there ever mention spanking or ass slapping as anything they were interested in.
Since being single again 3 years after my husband died, I've had 4 men try slapping my ass without asking. Which triggered my self defense training. One almost got a broken nose after a back elbow to the ribs and a head butt. This was not pleasant, in no way erotic to me. I felt disrespected and demeaned.
Is this something men now have come to think women like from watching porn? Perhaps some women do but not one of my women friends now that I can talk to about sex have ever mentioned it as being something fun. Those who have had men try it were also pissed off over it.
For men to try this without asking first is rude and disrespectful. Demeaning. Is this some power trip? would it be erotic for men if I without warning started pinching balls and thighs with my strong fingers and thick fingernails? slapped your face hard enough to leave a red mark? started to pull or twist balls to the point they yelled in pain? or without warning or asking used pepper spray on their balls? Hey dude, what are you complaining about? I think it's really hot to see you flinch, pull away and scream! doesn't it make you horny? What, I should have asked first? where's the fun in that?
The only time I've ever had my ass slapped or slapped an ass was in fun with my first husband. We had a wrestling game where we counted coup by licking a nose or getting a mild ass slap in. nose lick was 2 points and ass slap was 4 points. First one to get 10 points or push the other off the bed won. His or her choice of a massage or other desired pleasure. Which never included a spanking or ass slap.
What is shown in porn isn't always what most women want. Ask first. And No means NO!
Or risk having your anatomy rearranged.


BiggLala 48F  
28534 posts
3/19/2020 7:51 am

I think porn has a lot to do with it. Projecting probably also plays a part, as in assuming women like something because they do. Of course, power trips are also possible. It just all depends on the man (shit, some might like that pain/humiliation stuff you described...just saying, lol ).

This is why *some* conversation is important before having sex with someone new. This is particularly true if the people intend to have an ongoing situation.

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seems6666 49F
3912 posts
3/19/2020 9:38 am

I've always been asked if i would mind my ass slapped.. I think it's fine in playfulness but I don't want hand prints left on my buttocks!


Ladyvivamus 65F
31 posts
3/19/2020 10:33 am

Thanks Ladies.
Yes conversation is important but somehow having to say don't slap my ass is as ludicrous as having to say don't slap my face.
Especially since I have made it clear I am not interested in BD/SM, pain in any way or any dom/sub stuff.
Same goes for things like twisting nipples hard. One guy tried that and nearly dislocated his jaw in a reflex pain reaction and then slapped him deliberately. He said this other woman loved it. Oh? and you've had how many women partners? 1 liked it? the rest didn't ask for it and you think I'm another who will for what reason? Did you like the punch and slap? I was just testing cuz I heard some guys like it.

I ranted on this yesterday after getting a message from a guy I'd met for coffee who hadn't clarified he was married. Had a pleasant chat and he followed with a message saying he enjoyed my company. Then sent a message saying I might enjoy being turned over his knee for a spanking. Hadn't read my profile or he wouldn't have contacted me or said such. Or figured I must be desperate and he'd try anyway. Dude I would have said no on meeting anyway, you weren't quite as advertised.
Good thing he hadn't said that when we met, I might have been chargedwith assault for slapping him in public.


profcoquin27bis 55M
3217 posts
3/19/2020 11:18 am

just ask before !!!


positively4you 70F  
3951 posts
3/19/2020 3:59 pm

I am the daughter of a wife beater. I connect nothing sexual with hitting, reatraining, s and m , choking, ropes, chains, dog collars, dominance and don’t get me started on that “daddy” shit. Sex to me is loving, sensual, gentle. That shit will not fly with me.


markcorvallis2 60M
777 posts
3/19/2020 4:20 pm

I have never understood the appeal of spanking someone or being spanked. Everyone has their own wants sexually but there needs to be consent with your partner.


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