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Easy to say yes, Difficult to say no  

LiveLifeDoU 65F  
1209 posts
11/3/2015 2:39 pm
Easy to say yes, Difficult to say no

Just my ramblings here....

I was told recently that dating/getting sex is easy for women and a lot different for men. All a woman has to do is say yes.

At the end of the conversation, I could see his point of view, especially as it applies to a woman getting sex.

My friend indicated his frustration at not having any control. If the woman did not ask for a second date, he was out of luck. Nothing he could do.

I can only speak for myself, as I told him. It seems to depend on what the woman wanted in the first place. And what the guy wanted. If all she wanted was a one night stand, some hot sex, and the guy was ok with that, then sure, all she has to do is say yes, get what she wants, never to be seen again. No second date.

If the woman wanted more than just sex, it's a different story. I want sex, intimacy, long foreplay, the whole nine yards. And I want a second date. And a third, lol And not just sex dates. It doesn't have to be a marriage proposal or a committment lol I have to ask myself, is this guy just looking for sex? Because if he is, then, despite my need for that physical release of good sex, I will have to say no to him.

So sometimes it's not easy for women either. Not when they have to say no.

Guys might say....screw that. lol just say yes, have fun, get on with it. Stop thinking so much and have fun. Especially if the guy is willing to wait a date or two before delving into the depths of hot, torrid sex I am starting to think that way as well and be fine with it. I will always have feelings for my partners, no matter how in-depth that relationship is. I've been that way with all two of my relationships in life lol.

I just needed to say that...sometimes, it's not easy for women, when they have to say no. And sometimes, we do have to say no. Speaking for myself, of course Just my opinion.

Take care and thanks for listening

1seeking1 54F
2960 posts
11/3/2015 2:49 pm

Dead on, all depends on what she is seeking, and like you I seek little more.
Lots of interest here from married men or travellers and not my thing.
Really need to find another venue of meeting men. Any suggestions? take care

LiveLifeDoU replies on 11/3/2015 3:07 pm:
hi seeking...No, I have no suggestions. I tried another popular dating site, even paid for a membership...got nothing but trolls...
Good luck I am forever optimistic

chocolates52 68F  

11/3/2015 2:50 pm

It can be hard to say no especially when it's good hot sex but once in a while I do have to say no as well

laugh love be happy

Owatalife 63M
1447 posts
11/3/2015 3:13 pm

Nothing ever comes easy for either men or women when sex is involved...

sirenprime 64M/44F  
516 posts
11/3/2015 3:38 pm

Ms LiveLife,
Communication. Being able to speak your mind about your needs, and being a good enough listener to actually hear when someone else is doing the same. These are the hallmarks of how we look, explore, seek, and engage any new friends we find on a site such as this. While it may seem that the women have complete control of this process, that fails to take into account the common difference between the two genders. That is, that more often than not, the Ladies desire some sort of emotional attachment . You yourself admit that you will "always have feelings for my partners". And we happen to not only agree, but encourage that kind of viewpoint. However....there are people on here ( I won't besmirch a single gender, it's not ALWAYS a one way street ) who care not one whit for emotional ties. Without judging, it then remains for those of us who DO ascribe to having a desire for something more than the physical to lay that out from the start, the better to avoid unpleasantness further down the road. While the type of honesty you've displayed in your post may cost one a few "opportunities" to sate the needs that we all feel within us, we'll never have to second guess any kind of relationship after the fact. Communication is the key, just SAY what you want, and assume that the person you're conversing with is listening. That should be enough for everyone.

Until we run into liars.

LiveLifeDoU replies on 11/14/2015 3:15 pm:
And, unfortunately, he did turn out to be a bit of a liar...had two nice dates with him....after we kissed in the car after the last date, we both enthusiastically agreed we wanted to meet again, he said he would call the next day to talk about the details...then bam, nothing...well almost nothing...I wrote another blog about all that lol

Hotblonde4U2have 52F
661 posts
11/3/2015 3:50 pm

rickyspanish76 44M
7849 posts
11/3/2015 3:55 pm

Agree with you......

BiggLala 48F  
27904 posts
11/3/2015 8:06 pm

I agree with you. It's most frustrating knowing that saying 'no' means you're not having sex and possibly for a very long time. *le sigh*

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missthee 54F  
4117 posts
11/25/2015 4:27 pm

Excellent observations.

When I started out on dating sites I underestimated how often I'd end up saying no to people and situations the lustful part of me wanted to say yes to.

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