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Is This Really For Me  

MelloMom 57F
25 posts
2/5/2021 6:39 am
Is This Really For Me


So, I haven't been on this site for very long. Met one jerk, talked a big game, got what he wanted, said, 's late I should go and never heard from him again. Lesson learned. Fool me once. I think unlike most, (though I'm sure everyone says that, and how do you really know) I am open about what I'm looking for. I can't date in the normal sense, as I have responsibilities and committments. But I'm beginning think that may be the type of person I am. I think I may need someone that feels like dating.... just can't move forward with anything else.

I have met a couple amazing men. I have told them, I don't want to know about their "friend", as I am not really the sharing type. Neither can give the frequency I desire because they have responsiblitiies and committments.

I really felt like honesty is the way for this work, for everyone's emotions, (okay, my emotions) and safety. Meaning healthy partners.

I went from having an amazing evening, to not so great, when I mentioned the one other person. Just because I felt safe in their status didn't mean the person I was with trusted him

Went from beginning to feel desired, and fulfilled and excited about life again, to feeling promiscuous and not clean. Not a good way go to go to sleep and wake up.

I'm seeing why all of you men post no drama. This, when I speak the two... two people,about this situation, it feels a lot like drama to them I'm sure.

I am young and feel I've reached my prime (cruel joke the disabled husband), I feel like I can't get enough, but I don't want to just hook up once and move on to the next, one, that isn't safe, and I am an emotional woman.

Conclusion, not sure if this is for me. Do I go back to being alone and lonely.

Hmmm, any advice out there

guy03234a 52M
72 posts
2/6/2021 3:02 am

(HUGS) Love to at least chat... it's a crazy site, with all types of people. The pandemic has really made me think about what and how much I want get out of the site as well... On one side of the argument is a great bunch of friends (even if we haven't met) while the other side is as you said it "promiscuous and not clean".


lyavu 48F
1510 posts
2/6/2021 8:04 am

Once bitten twice shy


hippiechick1967 57F
13154 posts
2/6/2021 8:14 am

I think you can find what you want here f you persist. Don't settle for anything less than what you want. Maybe communicate a bit more before you meet someone. Good luck!

Elevate me...


guy03234a 52M
72 posts
2/7/2021 3:41 am

Tried responding to your message... I'm well, ok, maybe pandemic fatigued? Especially since now we can see the end maybe late summer or fall? Contact me leave a message


SingleInGR 53M
342 posts
2/7/2021 11:43 am

Hmmmm well I have say that I as well joined this site as I sometimes am not sure I have enough time to devote to a 24-7 relationship or marriage either like you said.

I have a full time job up to 48 hours a week and then have after work commitments with groups I help in the community as well summer sports.

I have had regular relationships and some worked and some obviously did not.

Those that did were with women whom were fine with knowing I am who I am and have things to do and never complained that I was busy and knew I would never cheat as that is not whom I am.

The relationships that did not work were with those that need someone 24-7 to be with them, were insecure or very needy.

I have had a FWB situation with someone for 2 years in the past and it worked very well.
We both had busy lives but made time to email, text or call here and there and got together when we both could.

I would say the top thing being on this site or not is finding out what exactly you want and what they want and find a match that you can trust and feel good about without worry.

This is what I think of as a sex site, it is not m atch dot com so I am guessing that most here are swingers, those looking for singles to join couples, singles looking for singles and all the fetishes you can dream up.

That being said, you should be able to find others whom are looking for the same thing and hopefully are honest enough to be honest.

Set the ground work for what you seek and as another poster said Dont settle for anything less than what you want.

Make it a great day!


MelloMom 57F

2/7/2021 8:26 pm

Thank you for the advice. I changed my status and I think I've created a new thing. "Friends with Strings Attached". I can't be a one time thing, I want a friend, who will shoot me a text, say hello, ask about my day, as I will ask about theirs, I want a physical relationship. I have been tested and am clean and want to stay that way, as I'm sure everyone does, but this is really important. I seem to have come into my prime, and would love if not twice a week potentially at least once. I mean, there will be times, when my friend is busy or I am and our times available don't mesh, but the idea is I seem to be insatiable. So I kind of want to have a relationship, but have it understood, my situation at home isn't changing and it won't be able to move forward in the traditional sense. Maybe I'm wanting too much.


guy03234a 52M
72 posts
2/8/2021 2:17 am

FSA... That's a great description! You've certainly been quite honest about what you're looking for and needing, and also what it can't be. So, as I sip on my morning coffee, wearing nothing but my bathrobe, "How was your weekend? And what's up this week?" XO ~ Guy


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