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Wrong Impressions
 
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Yeah. This is gonna hurt...
Posted:Jul 29, 2020 11:34 pm
Last Updated:Aug 2, 2020 6:16 am
390 Views

The Weight Of The Words

Wake up feeling claustrophobic
Shortness of breathing
Sheets soaking wet
What was I dreaming
That put me in such stress?
It’s 2am and I have no one
To tell me it’s alright babe
To hold me all night here

It used to be so easy
When I had you next to me
But now you’re so far away
The words I said I didn’t mean
But now it’s too late yeah
To take them back
And swallow my pride
I said it out of fear you know

Losing you is the hardest thing
I thought I was strong
But you just proved me wrong
And now all I feel is the pain
Of knowing you moved along
Left alone in my bed of misery
Nicely tucked and cut open

These razor blades of truth
I know they sliced too deep
And drew my blood til it’s all gone
Just a phantom of myself
A specter with a happy face
Mocking me in the mirror now

I’ll never forget your face
When I finally said my piece
You said you understood
But now I see you couldn’t
After all how can anyone ever
Listen when the song is so broken
The words just lose their meaning
It’s ok. I get it. You tried.

It’s 5am and I’m still alone
Another night without you still
No one here to listen now
Just me myself and I
Such a twisted little trio
I guess we get what we deserve
This is how I am right now

Alone afraid and trapped inside
A prison of my own device
Waiting for the morning sun
So I can finally fade away
A lost memory in your mind
Until it’s pushed aside
For someone better by your side
Forever gone I’ll be soon enough
To match this feeling dead inside
2 Comments
Midnight Dreams
Posted:Jul 26, 2020 3:28 pm
Last Updated:Jul 29, 2020 11:35 pm
625 Views

Did you ever wonder what it would be like
lay beside me like I do with you
Sliding under the smooth sheets
Feeling the heat of my body yours
Not a worry in the world
Just focusing on me with you
Letting you know this is real
Not some idle wish or day dream
But a full blown expression of my need
be beside you as the night goes on
Roaming hands caressing touching
Searching for those sweet spots
To elicit a sound verging on delight
Bury myself inside you until there is no me
Only us and we are writhing like one
Staying inside , you feel me so strong
So very much into all of you
The sounds we make would be angelic
Until we’re possessed by our urges
Straining, aching, pulling so close it’s there
Can you feel my excitement? I didn’t want to go
So all I can do is return to you.
Over and over and over. Spilling over
Over flowing over whelming me you are
But that’s the way you have always been
In my bed In my dreams after midnight
Always in my dreams after that time
If this is the only way then I accept it
The alternative is too frightening
So please accept this way of saying
I’ve always wanted you and always will
It’s just going to happen here in my bed
While I’m all alone after midnight
1 comment
Moral Of The Story
Posted:Jul 26, 2020 1:38 pm
Last Updated:Aug 2, 2020 6:19 am
625 Views

So I never really knew you
God I really tried
Blindsided, addicted
Felt we could really do this
But really I was foolish
Hindsight it's
Obvious
Talking with my lawyer she said
"Where'd you find this guy?"
I said, "Young people fall in love"
"With the wrong people sometimes"
Some mistakes get made
That's alright, that's okay
You can think that you're in love
When you're really just in pain
Some mistakes get made
That's alright, that's okay
In the end it's better for me
That's the moral of the story babe
,
-ooh-oh
Woo, oh
Oh-ooh
It's funny how a memory
Turns into a bad dream
When running wild turns volatile
Remember how we painted our house?
Just like my grandparents did, so romantic
But we fought the whole time
Should have seen the signs, yeah
Talking with my mother she said
"Where'd you find this guy?"
I said, "Some people fall in love"
"With the wrong people sometimes"
Some mistakes get made
That's alright, that's okay
You can think that you're in love
When you're really just in pain
Some mistakes get made
That's alright, that's okay
In the end it's better for me
That's the moral of the story babe
Oh, oh
Oh-ooh-oh
Woo, oh
Oh-ooh-oh
Oh, oh
Oh-ooh-oh
Woo, oh
Oh-ooh
They say it's better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all
That could be a load of shit
But I just need to tell you all
Some mistakes get made
That's alright, that's okay
You can think that you're in love
When you're really just engaged
Some mistakes get made
That's alright, that's okay
In the end it's better for me
That's the moral of the story
Some mistakes get made
That's alright, that's okay
You can think that you're in love
When you're really just in pain
Some mistakes get made
That's alright, that's okay
In the end it's better for me
That's the moral of the story babe
Oh, oh
Oh-ooh-oh
Woo, oh
Oh-ooh-oh
Oh, oh
Oh-ooh-oh
Woo, oh
Oh-ooh, oh
Oh, oh
Oh-ooh-oh
Woo, oh
Oh-ooh

You ever think you’re falling for someone only to realize it was all wrong?
It could be circumstances , or chemistry, or a clarity that comes when the fog has lifted. I’ve had a few times where I truly fought feelings for someone to only have it twist me inside until my soul felt incapable of finding solace.
One such instance over twenty years ago left in a very dark place of my own making. This year earlier I once again found that dangerous precipice again but the person who was the target of my misguided emotions didn’t run away or try hurt with words designed scare away. Instead she listened and told her side of things. Like a good friend would. I hope remain a friend and prove her faith in is justified. Day by day I try show my love as a friend. And it feels good step back and see how messed I was. So have you ever experienced a relationship that was one sided ? I’d like hear
2 Comments
Knees
Posted:Jul 25, 2020 6:40 pm
Last Updated:Jul 26, 2020 5:35 am
708 Views

Knees by Bebe Rexha

Sittin' in a parked car
We don't even fight no more
We don't even touch no more
Used to be my best friend
We don't even laugh no more
Barely even talk no more
You wanna hold my hand and then you won't
You say you love me then you don't
You keeping me running and running around
If I'm not all you need
Then just set me free
I'm down on my knees
If you're not the one for me
Then just let me be
I'm begging you please
I'm praying for closed doors and open windows
I'll follow where the wind blows
Don't be scared to leave
If I'm not all you need
Then just set me free
I'm down on my knees, tonight
We used to go out on dates
Now you don't wanna go no place
It feels like we're stuck in one place
I wish I could read your mind
Instead I gotta read your eyes
Oh, why they tell me lies
You wanna hold my hand and then you won't
You say you love me then you don't
You keeping me running and running around
If I'm not all you need
Then just set me free
I'm down on my knees
If you're not the one for me
Then just let me be
I'm begging you please
I'm praying for closed doors and open windows
I'll follow where the wind blows
Don't be scared to leave
If I'm not all you need
Then just set me free
I'm down on my knees, tonight
Se-se-set me free, le-le-let me be
I'm down, down on my knees (I'm down, down on my knees)
Se-se-set me free, le-le-let me be
I'm down, down on my knees
If I'm not all you need
Then just set me free
I'm down on my knees
If you're not the one for me
Then just let me be
I'm begging you please
I'm praying for closed doors and open windows
I'll follow where the wind blows
Don't be scared to leave
If I'm not all you need
Then just set me free
I'm down on my knees, tonight
1 comment
Slippery When Wet
Posted:Jul 23, 2020 10:18 am
Last Updated:Jul 25, 2020 1:08 pm
847 Views

I can’t help but imagine it baby
You know how I look at you
When you enter that shower
Longing needing wanting
stand there next to you
Naked and wet and hungry
Water cascading off us both
Pretending it’s to get clean
When all of my thoughts
Well dirty doesn’t even compare
Lathering your back
Standing behind you
My lips pressed into your neck
Sucking the water off of you
Tasting your flesh
Sliding my hands around you
Cupping each breast
Until those nipples protrude
Grinding into you baby
Until you feel my intentions
Oh they are so impure
Lifting your leg like that
Allowing entrance
your sweet honeyed hole
Slippery thick and hard
Going deeper and deeper
Our bodies heated in desire
Groaning aching pleading
For that sweet release
erupt in unison
Coating in your sex
As I return the favor
Filling you with mine
This is what i dream of
This is my fantasy you see
Of a shower with you and me
3 Comments
The Best You Never Had
Posted:Jul 21, 2020 5:04 pm
Last Updated:Jul 23, 2020 9:01 pm
954 Views

The Best You Never Had

So tell me if you’ve heard this one b4
Guy asks girl out 2 date
She says sure why not?
But here’s the sitch bitch
He ain’t no Romeo
And she’s not a Juliet
This ain’t no fuckin fairy tale
This ain’t gonna end pretty

I told you I’m not that kind of girl
But you didn’t listen did you?
You just kept droning on
Like I give a shit what you make
Or what you think about me
I’m just me, you fuckin dick
Not another notch on your belt

So now I hear you spreadin lies
Saying I was easier than a ho
Let me tell you something boy
You just fuckin declared war
Oh you motherfucker
You’re gonna pay in blood
You’re gonna pay in sweat
You’re gonna pay in tears

The next time I see you
I’m gonna be locked n loaded
You think you’re so clever
Tellin everybody those lies
But I know your secret so
I’m gonna napalm your ass
Send you back to the fuckin womb
Oh yeah you fuckin mommas boy

Keep on sayin what you’re sayin
Cuz I know where you live bitch
I know all your dirty little secrets
Expect your shit spread around
Like you did with mine
The only difference is mine
Is the ugly fucking messed up truth
While yours is just lame ass lies

You better hide like the bitch you are
I’ve got my WMD targeted on you
It’s gonna rain down like hellfire
Nothing left unsaid
Nothing gonna stop my wrath
You’re gonna know it sweet bitch
I’m the best you never had
I’m the best you never had
I’m the best you never had
2 Comments
Those familiar feelings
Posted:Jul 20, 2020 10:27 am
Last Updated:Jul 20, 2020 11:58 pm
1052 Views

I’ve been finding myself thinking of you
More and more with each passing day
Remembering the times we shared
Both good and bad with a slight wane joy
I know you found someone else
And my heart is truly happy for you
Wanting the best for you has always been my goal
Whether with me or another soul
I love our friendship that is so strong and pure
But my selfish side suddenly appears
And so does my nurturing one as well
Both competing and working in unison
I know now that love is expansive
And mine envelopes so many now
But that rarified air where only the most special dwell
Well that’s where you reside.
Forever. Without compare.
My soul feels compete thanks you
But my body yearns feel you once again
I won’t ask because I do love you so
Just know I’m here for you always body and soul
1 comment
Sometimes You Just Need The Rain
Posted:Jul 18, 2020 1:41 pm
Last Updated:Jul 23, 2020 10:05 am
1247 Views

I wish I could say I have been a good friend everyone I met on here. But. The truth is that many times I have failed in that respect. Whether from faulty choices, poor phrased conversations and pure selfishness , I have hurt a lot of people on here. I’d like think I’ve helped more but that is up someone else decide.
Listening Prince made wish I could wash away the times I chose poorly. Because now I’m seeing a lot of people on this site in a very different light. I hope that the ones who I shut aside accept my apologies since I now see the wonderful lights they possess. It was truly my loss and I want be a good friend them and s better friend those who have stuck around. I know I’m not an easy person know but I am trying.

never meant cause you any sorrow
I never meant cause you any pain
I only wanted one time see you laughing
I only wanted see you
Laughing in the purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
I only wanted see you
Bathing in the purple rain
I never wanted be your weekend lover
I only wanted be some kind of friend
Baby, I could never steal you from another
It's such a shame our friendship had end
Purple rain, purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
I only wanted see you
Underneath the purple rain
Honey, I know, I know
I know times are changing
It's time we all reach out
For something new, that means you too
You say you want a leader
But you can't seem to make up your mind
I think you better close it
And let me guide you to the purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
Purple rain, purple rain
If you know what I'm singing about up here
C'mon, raise your hand
Purple rain, purple rain
I only want to see you
Only want to see you
In the purple rain
2 Comments
Second Best
Posted:Jul 16, 2020 6:37 am
Last Updated:Jul 16, 2020 2:46 pm
1497 Views

This is just a quick one. I have a wonderful friend on here has a certain trigger. She truly hates it when she is left feeling like second choice in her relationships. It makes sense. Who would want that? I am the same way but take it even further by including conversations and other interactions.
The irony is that I have mistakenly in the past felt that way from her. But this post isn’t about her. She has actually been making the effort to show me how Wrong I am and be the good friend and I greatly appreciate it. Her friendship means everything and it would destroy me to lose that. But like I said, this is not about her at all. I’m just trying to show that I understand her and illustrate my feeling about being made second best.
This is really about when you encounter a friend in a room and you begin a conversation only to have another mutual friend show up , and the person had been talking you just drops the conversation talk more animatedly with the new arrival.
It may not be intentional but the damage is done. This is not the first time my friend has done this. There are others have done the same or similar thing by making me feel excluded from the conversation. I guess I’m just in a touchy mood. Or maybe I am just not worth the effort.
Getting used to second best never gets easy. I worry if when it does that means I’m better or worse.
Not sure I want to find out.
2 Comments
The Jester
Posted:Jul 15, 2020 9:25 pm
Last Updated:Jul 16, 2020 8:28 am
1604 Views

By Badflower

Like a jester at the ball
Rub my shoulders with the kings
I was draped in gold and velvet
Breathing in applause
While I was jumping through the rings
And then the cooks would sound a bell
And all the kings would lick their lips
But I couldn't find a placemat
The dinner table's full
And there's no room for sit
Is there anybody out there
Looking out for ?
Just say you want
Just say you need
Is there anybody out there
Looking out for ?
Does anybody need ?
Is every last soul just fucking over?
With tears their shoes
And ice their shoulders
Is there anybody out there
Looking out for ?
Lord, I live entertain
my pride is in my praise
I hum along with this vibration
And hope God I make it
If any chord that I could strum
Make feel less like a man
I'd slam my fingers in the doorway
And shatter the bones
So I could never strum again
Is there anybody out there
Looking out for ?
Just say you want
Just say you need
Is there anybody out there
Looking out for ?
For ?
Is every last soul just fucking over?
With tears their shoes
And ice their shoulders
Is there anybody out there
Looking out for ?
Woah, Is there anybody out
There looking out for ?
Just say you want
Just say you need
Is there anybody out there
Looking out for ?
For ?
Woah, Is every last soul
Just fucking over?
With tears their shoes
And ice their shoulders
Is there anybody out there
Looking out for ?
For
Is every last soul just fucking over?
With tears their shoes
And ice their shoulders
Is there anybody out there
Looking out for ?

A very close and special friend recommended this band and I’m loving their songs. This one seemed speak most although a few others did as well. For those that know , I have always tried be the jovial sort in a room. These past few months have seen less of that but I recently felt a reemergence of my old Happy self.
it took was a simple innocent thing in a room to wipe it away. Smiling the outside, alone in the inside. That’s . I know I have friends who care. But it feels like life goes without . It must be that’s the problem. Maybe the jester isn’t meant be happy but make everyone else laugh and love each other. I don’t know. Just thinking out loud.
2 Comments
Just A Feeling
Posted:Jul 15, 2020 9:22 am
Last Updated:Aug 7, 2020 3:11 pm
1521 Views

I can’t say it was like lightning hit
But I know that first time was special
Started out as casual flirtation
Ended up being something much more
Your smile beckoned me over
Your laugh emboldened me further
Your banter gave me inspiration
A playful touch triggered it all
My locked reserve let loose by your key
Letting all bear witness to this thing
This arousal so pure and so primal
Taking your hand that teased me so
Guiding you to that sofa
Laying you on your back
As lips pressed tightly
Inhaling your every breath as we kissed
My heart raced wildly to keep up
My body took it even further
Both sets of hand roaming exploring
Breasts fondled until nipples budded out
Eager lips sucking on your neck
Leaving my playful mark
Your gentle touch coaxing me
To come out and play
Throbbing thickness given life at your hands
Stroking tugging pulling and squeezing
Looking in your eyes and becoming lost
In that sublime haze of lust and discovery
My palm cupping your mound
Feeling the slick moisture of a woman
Whose every action has be beguiled
Delving within to seek that most delicate prize
Rubbing and pushing until that clit pops out
Ravenous kisses growing more fierce
As I finally impale you deep and so slowly
Stretching your walls seeking your acceptance
Our hips winding together as our heat rises
My mouth finds your neck on clamps down hard
Unknowingly claiming you as mine
Leaving behind my momento
Forged by the fires of our desires
Our naked bodies melded as one
My resolve shattered beyond compare
Feeling you quiver under me
Giving me what I desperately need
Valid confirmation of my acts and wants
Your glorious nectar coating my cock
Slamming faster harder deeper
Until your plaintive pleas take me there
Your pussy clenching still at my girth
My gaze never leaving yours
Bodies straining to reach into each other
That indescribable high that first time bliss
Pulsing and plowing harder into you
Nodding as my breathing shallows
Slight trickles of sweat falling upon you
My orgasm violent and yet so pure
Filling you with my seed right then
No protection given as my juices flow freely
Filling you between thrusts and hip grinds
Reality finally settling in
Seeing you are for real and not a mirage
Laying with you spent and drained
Not regretting this one bit at all
The line we crossed to lovers
Just stay here for now basking in it all
We will let tomorrow decide
But tonight is ours to share
Yeah tonight is ours baby let’s enjoy it now
0 Comments
Just Gonna Go Away
Posted:Jul 13, 2020 7:32 pm
Last Updated:Jul 15, 2020 9:12 pm
1714 Views

It’s been years since I last saw you
But damn if you don’t look even better
It’s a shame that I can’t say the same
For myself oh no I’m a wreck still
Nothing’s changed in my life
Except for you being apart from me

Loneliness is just a state of mind
So I hope you don’t mind
If I lost my mine that same sad day
When you decided I wasn’t enough
When you left me to my own devices
When you took my heart with you
When everything crumbled and died
When this life got in the way
Just gonna go away
Just gonna go away

Sitting in the back of that car
The last thing I saw before my life ended
Was the look in your eyes baby
So dark and cold shivers down my spine
When I realized I was dead to you
Left alone like a discarded toy

Loneliness is just a state of mind
So I hope you don’t mind
If I lost my mine that same sad day
When you decided I wasn’t enough
When you left me to my own devices
When you took my heart with you
When everything crumbled and died
When this life got in the way
Just gonna go away
Just gonna go away

Seeing how he holds your hand
Just like I used to is just a shock
To my already fragile system
Hearing that little groan
You make when it’s a pat on your ass
Knowing it wasn’t me anymore
Instead it’s going to be him

Loneliness is just a state of mind
So I hope you don’t mind
If I lost my mine that same sad day
When you decided I wasn’t enough
When you left me to my own devices
When you took my heart with you
When everything crumbled and died
When this life got in the way
Just gonna go away
Just gonna go away

So pardon me if I don’t say hello
It’s better that way for all of us
Because my words might grow harsh
And nobody needs to be in pain
At least not as much as me
So let me say goodbye in my own way
Silent and without trepidation
Swallow my pride and I’ll walk away

Loneliness is just a state of mind
So I hope you don’t mind
If I lost my mine that same sad day
When you decided I wasn’t enough
When you left me to my own devices
When you took my heart with you
When everything crumbled and died
When this life got in the way
Just gonna go away
Just gonna go away

Sometimes the hardest thing is to accept you’re not built for relationships. You try and try and try again but always end in the same result. Doesn’t matter whose fault it is. One time you’re leaving and the next time you are tossed aside for something better.
It all ends in one inescapable truth: you are going to die alone

Spend your life looking for love. Never stop. Never give up. Or else why even live?

I’m used to being alone. That’s a fact. I love my friends here and in the so-called real world. But I’m still alone. This is not a cry for help nor an attempt to seek comfort. It’s just stating a simple truth finally accepted. I’ll be better in the morning I’m sure but for right now this is how I see my world. Alone from my vantage point while everyone else laughs, cries , fights and fucks together.

And I’m fine with that.
Finally

R
1 comment
Broken
Posted:Jul 12, 2020 4:50 pm
Last Updated:Jul 13, 2020 8:54 pm
1967 Views

It’s true that when we met
We were both broken people
Looking for a way out
Of this darkness so cold
Frozen in our own miseries
And yet you said hello
And I said hello back
Like normal people do
Like normal people do

How did it come this
Where once we were reflections
In each other’s eyes
Now I’m just shattered beyond
All recognition you see
A million little shards
Lying on the floor
Where you stand

Can you see how I’m broken baby
Tiny mirror images of you
Looking up trapped in pain
Wishing it was like before
Knowing it can never be again
Every image you see of you
Is reflected in me now
Is reflected in me now

How did it come this
Where once we were reflections
In each other’s eyes
Now I’m just shattered beyond
All recognition you see
A million little shards
Lying on the floor
Where you stand

Too late to pick up the pieces
Of my broken soul
It wasn’t your fault
It was just the way it is
I’d rather be the one
Strewn across this floor
You still got a chance baby
To walk into the light
To walk into the light

How did it come to this
Where once we were reflections
In each other’s eyes
Now I’m just shattered beyond
All recognition you see
A million little shards
Lying on the floor
Where you stand
Im just broken broken broken
Im just broken broken broken
Im just broken broken broken
Im just broken broken broken
5 Comments

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Most Recent Comments by Others

Post Poster Post Date
Yeah. This is gonna hurt... (2)HoniSoitQuiMalYP
Aug 2, 2020 4:41 am
Moral Of The Story (2)SactoNative
Jul 31, 2020 11:56 am
Midnight Dreams (2)author51
Jul 26, 2020 10:30 pm
Knees (2)author51
Jul 25, 2020 10:36 pm
Slippery When Wet (6)author51
Jul 23, 2020 11:21 pm
The Best You Never Had (5)HoniSoitQuiMalYP
Jul 22, 2020 3:55 am
Those familiar feelings (2)author51
Jul 20, 2020 11:47 pm
Sometimes You Just Need The Rain (3)HoniSoitQuiMalYP
Jul 19, 2020 2:56 pm
Second Best (7)Rockabillygirl83
Jul 16, 2020 12:11 pm
The Jester (4)HoniSoitQuiMalYP
Jul 16, 2020 4:09 am
Just Gonna Go Away (1)author51
Jul 13, 2020 11:11 pm