Hookup, Find Sex or Meet Someone Hot Now

Why do men chase men on AFF?  

MsJaneBondage 50F  
196 posts
11/25/2019 10:15 am
Why do men chase men on AFF?

I would love hear from all of you, Gay, Straight, Bi, Confused, In Hiding, and anyone willing share their intellectual thoughts on the subject.

I have had tons of conversations with guys about how the men treat the women on this site. Most are not very nice to the women, they hide behind their keyboard. During these conversations the common thread that comes up is that they too are treated badly by men on this site.

The complaint these straight men have, is that no matter what they write in their profile in terms of being straight and asking the men to stop reaching out to them, they still get tons of men who disregard their request for them to stop and leave them alone. I say to simply block and delete these guys, that's how I manage the creeps.

I noticed too, that a majority of men say they are straight but they write sexual comments on other men's pictures. If you want to suck cock, why don't you just list yourself as bi-sexual and hit up other bi-sexual or gay men. I wonder, and will have to do some research, if the bi-sexual men are the ones chasing the straight men as Gay men are open and honest with who they are and aren't typically attracted to straight men.

Straight men need to understand that just because a man is gay, it does not make you hot on their list. Gay men are typically only attracted to gay men. They want a man who is secure in himself enough to be open about their sexuality. I have tons of gay and bi-sexual friends and these discussions come up a lot.

I've talked to a handful of guys who chase the straight men, or who have profiles posing as women in order to flirt and collect dick pics. Most of them said it's a way of fulfilling a fantasy without actually performing the act. Some are serious about hooking up with the straight man so they are phishing to see if anyone responds. Unfortunately, they can get pretty aggressive in their hunt for cock which scares the straight man.

What do you do if you don't like the cock chasers? Well it's pretty simple. Delete their comments on your pics, block them from everything as AdultFriendFinder gives your that ability. And, don't worry about them coming at you with a new profile, AdultFriendFinder blocks their IP address from reaching your profile. I had some stalkers and blackmailers a few times and AdultFriendFinder assured me that they could not reach me again once I blocked them.

So I would love to hear from all of you, Gay, Straight, Bi, Confused, In Hiding, and anyone willing to share their intellectual thoughts on the subject.


Leegs2012 47M
54411 posts
12/3/2019 12:26 pm

I'm here to Blog, but I am Bi-Playful. I go for the Women, but if a man is tone and smooth in a MFM, I will go down on Him with His Wife or Girlfriend. I do Oral only!


MsJaneBondage replies on 1/22/2020 10:32 am:
I love that. I don't see any problem with sexual play, gender is mostly just that. I know straght guys who will get their cock sucked but won't suck vice versa.

new2thearea1980a 45M

11/27/2019 9:04 am

Have you been able to confirm that AdultFriendFinder blocks by IP address? If so that is pretty cool.


MsJaneBondage replies on 11/28/2019 10:50 am:
That what they told me about a year ago when someone was trying to blackmail me.

SNGLDADLKNFORFUN 54M  
132 posts
11/27/2019 7:16 am

I am bi and have it posted, but plenty of straight guys check my profile out, send emails and IM's and friend requests. It is not always the bi or gay man chasing. I agree some straight men or couples profiles are always not what they say either. But I have also had a bi woman who was interested in me and we had chatted a few times about meeting, one day she must have finally read my profile and got all pissy with me, called me names and said "I would never be with a bi man so leave me alone." So I did. Just thought it was weird she was a gold member and had looked at my profile a dozen times before and never said anything about me being bi turned her off. But love the double standard that it was ok for to be bi and have videos of her fucking other guys without any protection, but I am the nasty one in her mind. Oh well, to each their own. It is not always the men who don't read profiles or lie about themselves. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one, just some are more fun to look at.


MsJaneBondage replies on 11/27/2019 7:57 pm:
I love your last line!!!!
Yes, I agree, so many people are not honest on AdultFriendFinder or in life in general. I hear that women are just as bad on this site. I now several straight guys who say they chase TS,TG,TV but won's say they are bi on their site. They are afraid to be found out that they are bi. I'm an open minded girl and I have been with bi guys, very erotic when we talk about fantasies. But, it had gotten to the point that they wanted cock more than they wanted me. Wasn't fun fo rme anymore. So now I just prefer to fid a straight guy to eliminate the competition - so to speak lol.
The chasing goes both ways with both men and women. straignt guys chasing men of all sexuality types. But I also hear from a lot of guys who say they don't want to be bothered.
I tell them to do what I do and just ignore them and block them. If they don't, then they are allowing themselves to be in their postion.
Thank you for your comment. I apprecaite your insight as sometimes we can only see things one way. That is why I like to pose questions and open up the dialoge to hear different opinions. I learn so much.
XOXO - JB

BiggLala 48F  
28504 posts
11/25/2019 10:50 pm

Could be they joined one of Various' affiliated gay sites. Thus, they might wonder why 'straight' men are on the gay site they joined. We should all know that Various lumps everyone into a singular database, regardless of the site we joined.

Still, we hope that people would read/respect profiles but we know that doesn't happen as we'd like. It's no different than men hounding women when that man is not within her preferences.

Need a way to message ALL members?...click here for helpful instructions in setting up a private messaging blog post.


MsJaneBondage replies on 11/28/2019 6:21 pm:
Ms Lala! You are 100%
We have group chatted about this before and I learned a lot from all sexual types. I think I am just so used to the harrasment that I have learned how to just ignore it and not let it get to me. Unfortunately, some people get offended too easily, others are ruthless in their hunt.
I don't give thos individuas my energy but they sure do give me content to write about.
So I thank you for your comment beautiful girl. Cheers

Paulxx001 63M
16592 posts
11/25/2019 5:20 pm

Yep... I caught it. First thing that hit me.
"... curious about your off topic opinions..." Reeeelee?
Could they start or arouse or stir... minds? Oh... my... gosh... they fucking might.

Of course they could!
But then... I'd be doing YOUR job, FOR you.

You have plenty of ideas, in YOUR head! I can see THAT, from HERE! 😊 You're a 'Pro'. Yep. Seriously ❗

If ya want a nudge... I'll scatter an opinion...


hasgoneb4 43G  
65 posts
11/25/2019 1:42 pm

Howdy y'all,..


A preface and origin as to my AdultFriendFinder experiences summed up thus far:


I was exploring this new( to me) site, AdultFriendFinder, one night... Testing if I thought the access granted to free(/standard) members was sufficient to actually have a conversation with others. Learned of the automatic filtering applied to all text which blocks potential emails, phone numbers, address, and web sites( and how to reasonable bypass it). Found the blogs and groups to be less used but more useful to group chats and public(/unrestricted) access to all. Lastly, after I was completed prevuing the IM and cam differences I rolled over and went to bed, with the cam on.


I awoke, tabula rasa, and started taking care of my morning engorgement, but after awhile I started hearing occasional aperiodic dings I did not recognize.

A short hunt around the bed caused me to shake the mouse and turn on the display to the touchscreen where it showed a dozen members viewing me( all men) with all the comments I had not read. I started up conversations, one handed, and thus this enjoyment of exhibitionism had been uncovered. a score months later, here I am enjoying myself in the buff on cam as often as feasible.


I, with OrneryBlueEyes, have now had or helped maintain almost every profile type AdultFriendFinder offers(, excepting TV/TG/TS). This allowed me greater perspective in understand the volume differences between audience sizes for each profile type. Generally the volume of audience members is mostly all male(M), the couples(C) and female(F) profiles are not obviously different, the group(G) audience volume is less than all the previous( but suspect TS/TV/TG volume is larger than G).


Knowing, by my testing prior, that the audience can only "see" in queries if your "looking for" profile type matches( not the sexuality type), it was needful to select "looking for all" so as to not prefilter myself from the general audience. I did set my cupid matches as my sexual preferences, but that only effected my queries.


Over the first handful of months, I recognized mostly male profile visitors as 'chasers'. I was active enough on the cams to receive free gold status( which I kept more than a year via only cam'ing). The chasers showing in full force, inserting their wants and desires into the chat.

Those chasers' profiles were divided into a definable few types, the confidently open and the self-duplicitous profiles. The latter being those profiles that run very differently between the written actions of the member and their written profile. I suspect the majority of those have reasons other than self which prevents them from choosing sexual preferences closer to their actual preferences(, self awareness of "actual preferences" trends higher with age but accordingly so does awareness of their prior self-deception). The former crowd identifies with writings and chats in agreement with each other, but additionally they group as 'chasers' due to the lack of empathetic intracommunications(, i.e. objectification of others due to myopic egocentrism when communicating outwardly, e.g. pro bono cam-room directors, frequently returning to topics asked not to discuss).


The various approaches of the 'chasers' seem similar to those chasing the opposite gender, so perhaps M chasing M is a social form of elucidation and practice( upon the new awareness) communally?


To be continued(, insert group blog link here once made,) on "ToBoldlyG0... HasGoneB4" ToBoldlyGo _|_ HasGoneB4


OBE&III PRIMUS,..et al


MsJaneBondage replies on 11/25/2019 4:14 pm:
SawII.... That is the most elaborate but consice response I have ever read. You certainly answered my question with your findings during your research and you provided more infomation that makes sense. I know there is an emotional part in why these men do what they do and no one may never really understand why they do it. Each one having their own purpose.

redrockrascal 61M
21593 posts
11/25/2019 1:34 pm

Lost of possible answers, many depend on how or who raised the person. Personally, I try to focus on those who aren't problematic her and in "real" life.

Happy Birthday

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


MsJaneBondage replies on 11/28/2019 6:21 pm:
As it should be my friend!

Paulxx001 63M
16592 posts
11/25/2019 12:56 pm

The key word was, intellectual, right?
Hmmm... Nope. Never gave it much thought. Although... you make some good points. πŸ‘
I have other opinions... formulated ones. Vyt they're off topic. 😢


MsJaneBondage replies on 11/25/2019 4:19 pm:
You caught that huh? Yes, it was sort of a way to indicate that if one choses to leave a cmment, make sure it's of value and not just some dumbass remark coming from a dumass who is most likely one of thos guys who use this site as their platform to objectify the members of this site.
Now I'm curious about your off topic opinions... could they start a new conversation to arouse the minds of those who enjoy reading my blog?

SC4wheels 47M
379 posts
11/25/2019 12:34 pm

Apparently there are a lot of bi men that say they are straight. I don't get why, but it happens all the time. I just ignore it when I am contacted, no big deal. It would be easier for them to find what they want if they were just honest. I always laugh when I see guys who are "looking for straight guys to give a blowjob to". There is no such thing. If a guy lets another guy suck his dick, he is bi not straight. It's not a big deal if you are bi, just say so.

It seems like a silly conversation to have, but you are correct, it happens fairly frequently.


MsJaneBondage replies on 11/25/2019 4:22 pm:
i believe that hnesty and integrity get you so much more in life. People react and respond better and you also eliminate the games people play.
It is a silly conversation but I get tons of emails with questions on different subjects. It's great for me caue it gives me more material to research.

MsJaneBondage 50F  
139 posts
11/25/2019 11:37 am

Educate me, what is the most important part? And leaving someone out was not intentional... was just not at the tip of my tongue when I wrote the post. Shall I add them in now?


s2ndegree 61M  
9734 posts
11/25/2019 11:32 am

Why do gay men,trans men,C D men or bi men chase straight men.
I noticed you left out the most important part of what you're actually
asking with this question.Was that intentional as to not offend
those who offend straight guys?

Using more than all the road!


MsJaneBondage replies on 11/28/2019 6:13 pm:
en chasing men did not leae anyone out. My request to hear from anyone, was a general request. I didn't list all the 100 options as to not offend someone, it was merely a broad request to hear from everyone, no one left out. So I still do not undersatnd your question. did I happen to leave you out? Or did I happen to offend you? If so, lease let me know because that was not my intention to offend anyone.
If you were offended, then that is on you, if you are trying to prove a point, please be more consice after reading this explanation and understanding, I wasn't going to sit here and list all sexual types individaully. I'm open to constructive critism, not distructive critism. Come with a soution, not a complaint.

MsJaneBondage replies on 11/28/2019 6:13 pm:
By the way, I do appreciate your participation, I just need to understand you better.

Become a member to create a blog