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Date From Hell, Kansas Style  

New2Midlo 49M  
383 posts
9/14/2018 7:17 pm

Last Read:
1/1/2019 11:41 am

Date From Hell, Kansas Style

A little story of a date from hell I had this summer (previously posted elsewhere).

Her profile and initial round of notes indicated she was a special needs teacher. She was quite attractive, well educated, and well spoken. I'll fast forward through much of the intervening communication and provide the salient facts. On the topic of sex, she wanted it. I'm fairly skilled at creating images, which resulted in her specifically stating we'd meet for dinner and she'd come over and begin to explore her submissive side. I do love me some exploration. We both seemed to want a genuine relationship and I parroted her desires, in that aspect of our communication.

At this point, I'll mention recognizing a few red flags, including how her successful, and apparently fuck nuts, attorney husband had traded her in on a younger model. But considering she earned two masters degrees, and worked with special needs , she didn't register as an Out of Work Trophy Wife.

The day before our date, she went a bit dark, cutting email down to a single note. I asked her if everything was okay, at which point she told me she thought I was pushing for something more serious than she wanted. I responded that I had no interest in jumping into anything. Her note made it clear she didn't accept what I'd told her. Perhaps I'd have changed her mind if I'd mentioned that there's no way in hell I want to establish anything remotely resembling roots in fucking Kansas. (more on my hatred of the state in another entry)

By the time our date rolled around, I knew there was no way she was coming home with me. She arrived decked out in designer clothing and admittedly, looked quite delicious. Dinner was full of vacuous conversation, where I learned she actually wasn't teaching, or really working at all. She was dabbling and not happy with any of her teaching options. That one wasn't an immediate bell, because I was still determining whether I could get her in the sack. Sorry, I'm a guy after all. Dinner ended, with no conversation about her coming home with me, so I broached the topic. As expected, she declined, sticking to her story of my wanting to move too quickly and how she didn't want to hurt me. I commented that she had clearly made up her mind before coming to dinner, which she denied. I'll come back to that.

I made the mistake of somehow giving her the impression I was interested in why she came to dinner, knowing she wasn't going home with me. Oh shit, was that a mistake.

This woman let me have it with everything she could think of:
Rushing into a relationship,
How she didn't like the phrasing I used in one of my notes
How I didn't apologize properly for something she felt I needed to apologize.

She was put off that I couldn't come up with any sexual fantasies, when she asked (sorry, they're not really fantasies after they've been fulfilled).

Then, she berated me for foisting fantasies onto her (except they weren't fantasies, but dirty things most other women enjoyed).

She took issue with things I'd said that I never said; those had to have come from some other guy.

On and on it went, with no end in sight. I've had women I'd been dating for months tell me off in a shorter amount of time than this woman I'd just met. She'd run through her list of transgressions, then circle back to the beginning, finding some new grievance to add for the next rotation. I've never experienced anything like this!

I did everything I could think of to indicate the conversation was over, to gracefully make an exit. I did this twice, but she wasn't losing any steam! In order to eject from this ride to hell, I wound up doing something I've never done to a woman before. I got up and walked out on her, muttering something to the effect of 'have a nice life'.

What a truly horrible encounter.

On top of it all, she had this lovely sense of entitlement and air of self-importance. I had a difficult time not blurting out, 'listen princess, you're just an educated, unemployed woman, who hasn't accomplished jack. You may want to back your attitude down a bit.'
Transparent and shallow; not the things I look for in a woman.

To add insult to injury, I spent $30 on some fucking grapefruit flavored Absolut that she asked for me to have for her. The money has nothing to do with it, but I don't appreciate of the bitch every time I open the freezer. I sure as hell won't drink it. Anyone want a bottle of nasty vodka?

New2Midlo 49M  
470 posts
9/14/2018 7:18 pm

How's your love life?

cinnamon0133 29F

9/14/2018 9:13 pm

Oh that's awful!! You did the right thing walking out, why take verbal abuse from someone you just met!? Clearly she has issues

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pocogato12 68F  
36178 posts
9/14/2018 9:16 pm

OMG I thought I had heard all the rudeness but this woman not only baked the cake, she poisoned the batter. Goes to show that looks are deceiving( designer clothes- hmmm some wolfette).
Since I am a vodka drinker, if you visit this way bring it with you and I will cook ( and make a greyhound LO

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New2Midlo replies on 9/15/2018 8:40 am:
She was accustomed to 'being someone', as the wife of a prominent attorney and couldn't quite accept that ship had sailed when he traded her in on a younger model.

How about I bring the vodka and we'll both cook? Missing the East Coast big time.

Amoculi 65M  
19 posts
9/14/2018 9:22 pm

Sorry, but you made the same mistake over and over again, and each time you realized it you repeated the mistake anyway.

I'm not innocent in this area myself, but I learned my lesson over time. You had good first instincts about this gal, but each time let some desire or other overrule it (and I get it, we are all horny all of the time, and where there is horny, there is often unjustified hope). Learn to trust yourself more, and slow down enough to make a judgement on how many warning signs you should ignore.

Also, don't sit at the table for so long if it happens again. If a person you don't know lights into you like that, there are only two alternatives, the first one, i.e., punching out her lights, being generally unacceptable. the other which in a case like this is the better part of valor is to run.

Get up and leave sooner rather than later. You shouldn't have listened to one percent of what she had to say. She was dishonest and you owed her nothing. Saying something like "Well it was fun while it lasted" as you are standing up, and wishing her a good night would have been more than enough.

New2Midlo replies on 9/15/2018 8:36 am:
In my defense, most of the red flags didn't gel until we met in person. As for ignoring them, I wasn't searching for a long term partner. As I alluded, I have no interest in any remotely resembling deep and meaningful in this hateful state. I flat out wanted laid.

685 posts
9/14/2018 11:38 pm

Hmm ... As soon as the vitriolic speech started I would have said 'this is where I call it a night. Drive safely & good luck'. The last thing they would see is the back of my head walking away.

AdultFriendFinder isn't required to confirm the emotional, mental or financial stability of their members. I believe in a vetting process because you can't hide crazy forever.

Good luck

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Walking62 58M
148 posts
9/15/2018 1:52 am

Been there, done that have the t-shirt.

New2Midlo 49M  
470 posts
9/15/2018 8:38 am

No argument that I should have walked earlier. However, I was raised with the strong message that gentleman don't do such things. Plus, it made for a good story.

bitchkitty2017 68F  
5313 posts
9/15/2018 9:48 am

wow she really was a piece of work sorry you had the experience ...but hey even gentlemen have their limits as like anyone else ..push too far! wish we had men like you here yr patience is def a virtue ..

lyavu 47F  
1391 posts
9/15/2018 11:11 am

Its normal online there good and bad pple . I met a guy and lord it was worse. All i can say i was so glad to drive off happy . He was a nightmare wanted me to marry him. He lied he was single so we can meet to make it worse he was ugly as hell all his pics he downloaded someone else from the site . Wow ..

superbjversion2 65F
21568 posts
9/15/2018 1:32 pm

Sorry, I would've vanished as soon as someone said they liked grapefruit flavored vodka. You poor man.

On the bright side - I think you could promote a new show for the CW "Purgatory, Kansas"

Sex is to Fun as Square is to Rectangle

New2Midlo replies on 9/16/2018 12:04 pm:
Far be it from me to judge the beverage choices of others. If odd flavored vodka would have been the worst of her idiosyncrasies, I'd have been happy.

No one would want to watch a show about Kansas. It's like an unentertaining form of war. Huge amounts of boredom mixed with periods of annoyance.

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