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Nice guys finish last.....  

Nightraith1978 42M  
7 posts
11/24/2016 5:16 pm
Nice guys finish last.....


So, for a large portion of my younger years I was the epitome of a nice guy...and as you can imagine, my luck with ladies was limited, and when I did have success it was normally marred by the fact that I was usually taken advantage of in the long run. Now I have a tendency to put forth a bad boy attitude and then treat my woman better than they originally thought that I would, but in the long run I continue to be taken advantage of or made to look like a fool.....which is even worse. So what the hell's a man supposed to do? Be an asshole? Well this is one man that still treats her right and will continue to not let others actions dictate my actions.....of course it's also a man who ate Thanksgiving at the folks house with nobody to introduce to everyone.......what's a guy supposed to do?.......

1chellee 100F
223 posts
11/24/2016 8:29 pm

Have you thought about the type of women you seem to attract?

There are some men who only pick bad girls and get burned because of it...


BiggLala 48F  
28829 posts
11/24/2016 9:08 pm

I'm going to agree with the ladies above. In many women's experience, self-professed 'nice guys' generally aren't nice guys. Focus on being a good man who does what he say he'll do regardless of whether it will get you the girl. As chellee pointed out, you're picking the same type of women, so you're the common denominator in your experiences. Figure out why you choose the women you do. My guess...you're picking women that come with a lot of drama who you think you need to rescue. I say this because you say you keep getting taken advantage of. You're letting these women take advantage of you. If that's not what you want, then only you can stop it. Hint: if the women you want to be with place conditions on the relationship (giving her money for example), then that's not a healthy relationship.

Again, focus on being a good man who keeps to his word and stands up for himself. The good woman, who doesn't need you to 'fix' her, will come along.

Good luck!

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Nightraith1978 42M  
5 posts
11/24/2016 9:36 pm

Thanks for the feedback ladies, I've considered the same ideas in the last few months while I've been single. I am taking my time and choosing my women a bit more carefully, doesn't exactly come easy when I have been celibate for the last 7 months...lol.


KtMnDu 68M
6214 posts
11/24/2016 9:53 pm

I am real conflicted with this "Nice guy" versus "Bad boy" thing.....I have always considered myself a Nice guy, and I have done ok over the years with the women I have come to know. There have been those stretches without a partner, but it has come around eventually, and I have never felt taken advantage of or abused....and all those partners over the years have left me with really good memories.....and I honestly think they think well of me, as well......perhaps I have just been fortunate.....I also suspect we all have our definition of what a "Nice guy" is and what a "Bad boy" is.....so heck, what do I know......Happy Thanksgiving........


BiggLala 48F  
28829 posts
11/25/2016 8:25 am

    Quoting Nightraith1978:
    Thanks for the feedback ladies, I've considered the same ideas in the last few months while I've been single. I am taking my time and choosing my women a bit more carefully, doesn't exactly come easy when I have been celibate for the last 7 months...lol.
"...I have been celibate for the last 7 months...lol."
-*giggling* He thinks 7 months is celibate...HA!

Seven months might be 'celibate' to you, but try going 7 years or even 5 years. I've done both at two separate times and I survived. Don't worry, you won't actually die.

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northshoretake2 56M  
1628 posts
11/25/2016 2:25 pm

KtMnDu wrote:
I also suspect we all have our definition of what a "Nice guy" is and what a "Bad boy" is

I'll take a stab. I believe the "bad boy" appeal is due to his authenticity. "Nice guys" look outwardly, try hard to please others and seek validation. Words like needy and tiresome come to mind when dealing with such men.

The "bad boys" could care less what you think about them. While there may be many red flags, the one thing women don't worry about is whether they're needy. And on the rare occasion when they do something kind or thoughtful, women know it's sincere.

Again, bad-boy appeal comes from authenticity--not from being an asshole. As aflower2c explained, it's not very complicated: "Just be you." So if you can avoid trying to prove you're a nice guy, then I think you'll have more luck making a connection.

$0.02

Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have.


lyavu 47F  
1363 posts
11/25/2016 7:03 pm

I will say be yourself. There is someone who will appreciate you. Am used to guys treating me like crap it's hard to tell which guy is gonna be nice. Do they exists?


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