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More Bighead Talk  

Over21ish2 55M  
1 posts
8/17/2020 1:33 pm
More Bighead Talk

Continuing conversation in my head:

Myself: **Scoffing** So… have coffee with that lady yet?

: Now you know we haven’t! Why would you tease us like that? That’s exactly the type of attitude that might cause someone think we’re a jerk. The internet is already full of guys who are jerks, we don’t want be lumped into that category. You know, alongside the bums living in their parents’ basement or the shirtless bathroom mirror photo guy.

Myself: Whoa, easy there Cujo, before you start foaming at the mouth. I know we’re not a jerk, in fact, far from it. As far a nice guys go, we are pretty high the list, if we do say so ourselves. What’s really bugging us anyway? She email us back and shoot us down?

ME: That’s just it… we haven’t heard a thing. I know women must get kinds of junk emails everyday that they have sort thru and delete. I can only imagine how hard it is put with some of garbage they get from men trying them the time. I don’t know which is worse, not hearing anything or getting a back saying, “Buzz off!” It was only coffee, it’s not like we’re asking her the Prom.

Myself: Well, if you remember, the only girl you did ask the Prom said, No. But there may be a legitimate reason for her not responding, did you ever think about that? It could be that Geek shirt, did we take that down yet? Or maybe she just thinks we're too chubby?

ME: Ok, thanks for bringing that again. You know the only reason that girl in HS said No was because someone else had already asked her, otherwise she would have said Yes. And 6’2” 185 is not fat by anyone’s definition… and we had that hump on our back removed years ago, so it's not about physical deformities. our photos are recent, even the Geek one… which we’re keeping, incidentally.

Myself: Whatever... go ahead and let our geek flag fly… just don’t wear it when we meet her for coffee, ok? Maybe she can’t write back? What if her membership doesn’t allow for her to send messages? What if she was the victim of a horrific manatee attack and has lost a few of her fingers? What if she’s fallen down a well, and is out of Wifi range? Or, what if we look just like her Ex and she is avoiding us!

ME: We can receive messages from nonmembers. But those are all real possibilities… her Ex might be George Clooney! What are the odds of that happening?

Myself: **Sighs** For the last time… we don’t look anything like George Clooney! Maybe she’s just shy… or maybe she doesn’t trust us. Thinks we’re too good to be true?

ME: There is some resemblance I tell you… I see it when we grow our chin stubble out! But you could be on to something… she may be afraid of getting Cat Nipped.

Myself: No, the term is Cat-Phished, not Cat Nipped! I really worry about us sometime, are you sure you’re allowed to operate heavy machinery?

ME: Ha Ha, hardy-har-har… you’re a real laugh riot. If you didn’t have the left side brain job, your position would have been downsized along with our tonsils. How can we show her that we’re a real person and not a Troll<b> doll </font></b>pretending to be someone else?

Myself: Troll doll??? Just please stop thinking before you hurt our brain. Hmm… that might actually be the first smart thing I’ve heard you say in… ever. How DO we show someone that we're not an internet wacko?

ME: We don’t have anything to hide. Except we're not posing for any racy photos, I draw the line there.

Myself: Settle down, no one wants to see us with our giblets spread out across a bear skin rug. We don't even want to walk by the bathroom mirror after taking a shower. Whatever we do, we can't let them know that we talk to ourselves. That would be a real big red flag, for sure.

ME: So... I am confused... are the flags good or bad?

Myself: Ugh... I see why she has not written back yet. We are an idiot.

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