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Paul'S PlacE ❗ ⭕❗⭕ ❗⭕
These aggregation of stories,
lampoons and irreverent points of view...
occasionally make sense.
I hope you can share my smile.

Once in a while it's nice to sit down.
(* ©April 2018-21 November Paul P. )
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Do I Look... Like a Condom Expert...? 🤔
Posted:Apr 4, 2019 12:29 pm
Last Updated:May 3, 2019 9:05 am
Note: A F F is chopping and deleting words. Please be patient.

It was early evening. I was meandering about, through my usual, grocery store 'giant'. I was looking, for any specials... and a tube of toothpaste. There was a wide screen TV on sale, right next to the cucumbers. I'd pass on that. As I walked down, the healthcare aisle, I noticed, a vast array of condoms, on my left. It was curious... I had never noticed them there, before. I leaned forward and scanned the inventory. Such a selection!

Studded, thin, ultra-thin, lamb skin, lubricated... each one offering a variety of sensations to explore and find your pleasure. The promise of sensory satisfaction, was printed, like a guarantee... right on the package.

I realized, that I was hogging the space, when she brushed up beside me. She smiled, shyly and peered at them. I smiled back and spoke...

"I was just reading the ingredients and admiring the selection."

She laughed. "So... you're a condom expert?"

"Do I look... like a condom expert?" And perhaps I did.

"Well... I have no idea what to get." She spoke, shaking her head.

She was an attractive lady, younger than me. She held no basket in her hands. She looked, as if she was dressed up... and on her way somewhere... much more important.

"You have no idea? Well, is it for you... or a gift for a friend?"

She laughed again. "It's been a while, since I've purchased these. May I ask you a question? What would you suggest? What do you like? " she smiled... tilting her head to the side.

I paused. I'd never been asked for my opinion on condoms... by a pretty lady... in a store. I felt a touch, self conscious as I replied.

"Well... to start with, what size is he?"

She giggled, as she measured her hands in the air. "I can't believe, I'm doing this," she laughed, blushing. "About this big... I think? I've never seen him. I've only felt him," she whispered.

Such... an honest response. It must be, the third date.

Her hands, seemed to be separated, by the exact length... of my little fella. "It looks, like he's a 'regular', a bit smaller than me," I smiled coyly.

She laughed, as I replied. Had her eyes, just drifted down there? I was positive, they had. This banter might have continued, back and forth, for a while. We hadn't yet touched on; the lubes and vibrating eggs, on those racks. Yet, I realized, I should probably... not push it. She was (after all), dressed for a date. I chose for her; The Ultra Thin - a ten pack. Sheepishly... (since I was already there), l also picked up a pack, for myself. I'd figure out, a use for them.

"Thanks for your help. I really appreciate it," she smiled.

"No worries. Uh... It was my pleasure. You're gonna text me, and let me know how it all worked out, ok?"

Her genial laughter followed her, as she walked away. Sheesh... the people you meet at these stores, right? I picked up my toothpaste and walked to the cash... while passing, that wide screen television. Who buys, a TV, in a store selling English cucumbers?

Obviously... quite a few people. There was only one left.

Would you buy a TV, or other electronics at a grocery store?
Y'all wanna talk about: condoms and meeting random people in stores? 🤔

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Niagara Falls... Glass Globes... and Crystal Rams... 🤗
Posted:Apr 3, 2019 1:20 am
Last Updated:May 3, 2019 9:09 am
Note: A F F is still chopping words. Please be patient.

They were poor. They had been, on only one family vacation... ever. It was, the only gift, her father, had given her... that she had always, cherished. The dolls and toys and whatever else there might have been... had disintegratted or... just, been thrown away. I held that glass, snow globe, carefully... in my tiny hands. I was captivated, by its beauty.

"Niagara Falls", is what it said; I would learn, much later. I was three and a half years old. I marveled, at that smooth glass. I peered into the ephemeral world, it held within. I stared, as those tiny sparkles of white snow, fluttered about, so gently.... sooo slowly. They took forever... to rest, before I could shake, that glass bulb, again.

When that globe, slipped from my fingers... I didn't know what to do. I ran to her. She ran back with me. She fell to her knees, when she'd seen, what I'd done. She didn't speak. She didn't say a word. She buried her hand in her face, clutching one broken piece of glass and cried. I'd never seen my mother, cry before. I cried along side her. Leaning my head against her shoulder. I didn't know why, but I felt, as if my world... had just crumbled.

I recall speaking. "I.m sorry mommy." She looked at me and held me, as tears streamed down her face.

Many year's later, my oldest , came running to me, with something in her hands. "What's this daddy? It looks like a goat. Is that what it is?"

It was indeed - a ram. A miniature crystal ram; that my mother, had given me, for my birthday. It symbolized who I am; an Aries. I looked at my and smiled. "Yes it is."

I took it, from her little fingers and put it, in a place I knew, she'd never reach. Those small things (once broken), just can't be put, back together. Not even with duct tape.

It's nice, to be able to hold memories, in your hands, isn't it? They feel real... when you can touch them.

- . What are the most cherished, gifts that hold memories for you; or are pictures and videos more important?
- . Have you, or someone else, ever broken anything that has meant something special?

Note: A F F website, is still chopping and deleting words. Please be patient. . .
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We Have All Done It.... Some Of Us Just Do Not Say It... 🤗
Posted:Apr 1, 2019 1:07 am
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2020 5:55 pm
Note: A F F website is still chopping words and numbers. Please be patient.

This past weekend, I went downtown, to an art exhibit. The artist, was displaying his works, of abstract expressionism . more of a... neo cubist kinda guy. I stood there, looking one of his larger pieces. It hung, brightly lit, against the backdrop, of a white wall. I thought, perhaps... if I moved, further back... and squinted - I might understand it. From the shadows (of the gallery), walked a stylishly attired woman and her handsomely dressed young . They posed beside me, in silence and focused their eyes, on mural. After a minute or so, the young , turned to his mom and remarked.

"Wow. 's really, fucked !"

His mother looked down the little , nodded her head and agreed. "Yes it is."

Then... they moved on. I was stunned. Not the was wrong. piece of art, was... truly fucked . I was surprised, this mom, had allowed her , to express his point of view, with such profane language. I thought, the word 'fuck' - was reserved, for adults only. Did I miss a memo?

There are roughly... o.ne hundred seventy o.ne, thousand (1.000), words in the Oxford Dictionary. Most people, only have a vocabulary, of 20,000 words. Yet... there is this one word, everyone knows; some people abuse and some people... never use. word is - "Fuck".

Is it the most, vulgar word in the English language? "Fuck" is the only English word, can be used as a; noun, pronoun, adjective, verb, adverb and preposition. "Fuck", can be used, in almost every, informal situation, to express, any emotion. Change the tone of your voice, surround "it" with other words - and you can use " word" , anywhere. I found, least 27, different ways, to adapt it. I've listed those examples, in my comments. Did I miss any?

I never used " word" , when I was raising my daughters; yet... they know it. times, they've sprinkled it about, all around me. How the fuck, did happen? I never utter " word" , in business. Except of course, to describe the sales deal, just completely... fucked . With close friends, I might blurt "it" out, from time to time; to punctuate a point. Especially, when my point, is fucking right! Here, on my blog.... I'll try to avoid it, completely. And yet sometimes... well, I don't give a fuck.

It's a small... but powerful and versatile word.

As I left art exhibition, I passed stylish lady and her y.oung . I smiled politely, nodded and said hello. I half-expected , to turn around and say...

"What the fuck do you want?"

Are you offended, when you hear, or see the word "fuck", written; or do you also use "it", when you speak and write?
Did your patents swear; or did you ever swear, in front of your ? 😱😁

Note: A F F is still really fucked ... chopping and editing words. Please be patient. . .
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What The Flock Is Your Problem? 😱..... 3
Posted:Mar 29, 2019 5:07 pm
Last Updated:May 3, 2019 9:26 am
Hello everyone. Another Friday is here, and so is - this regular feature of mine. Complaining never helps, right? Well... it might, make you feel better and relieve some stress. Here's your chance to vent. I ready to listen.

Do you recall m.e mentioning, the crazy potholes, here in this town? Believe it or not... the city is filling them. Of course, for every one they fill... three more pop . Is Montreal the worst city on the planet, for potholes?

Oh... here's an interesting thing. Last weekend, my buddy, FrankeeZee and I watched - as a brand new, pickup truck sank, in the middle, of a frozen lake. T.hat was fun! I guess... I could bitch, about the fact I didn't, think of filming. T.hat video, on U Tube - would have, gone viral. Damn ...!

So... I really have nothing, to complain about. 😶

Anyway... I.m not getting laid tonight, or could you tell? And I.m not going anywhere.

Bring it on... I am listening!
What the fluck is your problem?
And.... If you ain't got nothin' to complain about... How was your week? Whatcha been doin' ?

The pineapple vodka slushies, are in the freezer. The Irish coffee is freshly brewed, and I have chips and onion dip. T.hat's something new! 😁 Help yourself. And someone just reminded me, not all of you like sweet drinks. I have a melon lime.. rum thingy. Of course I also have all of those, without the alcohol added.

Please don't jiggle the handle on the toilet. It's slightly fucked .
Here's a link to story I posted, about watching a truck sink into the lake. You might find it fun.
FrankeeZee The Weather Girl and Thin Ice

  Note: A F F is deleting words. explains the use of 'periods' in some words. Please be patient. . .

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This Whole Thing... Started Off... As A Dare! 😱
Posted:Mar 28, 2019 12:20 pm
Last Updated:May 3, 2019 10:51 am
In a few days, it will have been a ... since I first created my profile name and logged on, to A F F . It's wild, how time flies, isn't it? This whole experience here... started out, as a dare. And a very scary , !

Photography is a passion of mine and I've been on . Gram, for many . I've met some great people there. Let's just skip, some of the details. Eventually...

... I started texting and sexting, back and forth, with this woman, who lived in Jersey. We used 'Private Messages', on Gram. On this very day, last ... she sent - very explicit, naked pictures of herself. Well... to say I was shocked and excited... would have been an understatement.

It was, a totally unexpected thrill. Then there was the panic, soon set in. She asked , for my pics. I had none. I realized, she had shown 'hers' , so obviously... I had to show her 'mine'. I hemmed and hawed, back and forth with her. I tried to tell her, I wasn't prepared. my camera was shit. I didn't know, how to take the pics. I was shy. Until, she simply texted ...

"Paul... I dare you... lol... I know you want to!"

She knew , pretty well! The next few days, were spent with butterflies, in my stomach, as I planned my photoshoot. I'd compare my stress level, to of some of the biggest, corporate meetings, I've ever, had to prepare for. Talk about being nervous! I'd never done anything, like before. Can you believe it?

In a few days, I was prepped and ready. It was... the most exciting... set of pictures, I had ever taken, in my life. I realized my 'inner exhibitionist', finally... had an outlet. My legs, were actually shaking. I won't get explicit, in describing my excitement level. I'll just say this - my 'little friend' ... wasn't camera shy. He did a rock solid job!

I'll always recall, the day, I emailed them, to Jersey lady. I was soooo nervous. I couldn't think straight. I was work, when I sent them. ... only tripped out, even more!

The details, of what happened next, are a little blurry. Evidently, she loved the pics. Then she texted with a challenge, I'll never, forget.

"Paul... IG is not the place for you. Why don't you join a sex site? You can get your kink on, over there and have a great time."

She sent me her suggestions, for adult sex sites and one of them... was - A F F. The rest is... as they say... history.

I still keep in touch, with the lady from Jersey. She sends me previews, of her her erotic stories, which I consume... willingly. I've been having, quite a bit of fun here, on A F F. Yet grateful to person, for this whole experience. lady, from Jersey... and her dare. Who says Gram is boring? Not !

How did you start with A F F and what prompted you to do so?

My very first post here, was the story, of how I connected with my IG Jersey friend and sent her my naked pics, while I was at work... You might find it a fun read...
Caught Naked At Work

When I'd post to IG.. I might post an angled shot, like this ... .A 'think piece' , as they say... lol . .
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Mirrors Never Lie... Or Do They? 🤔
Posted:Mar 27, 2019 12:54 am
Last Updated:Jun 3, 2020 11:05 am
It was Saturday afternoon and my usual provisions provider was crammed with irritable shoppers scrambling about. Are Saturday’s the worst day of the week to visit these types of stores? Possibly, but especially if you're not fond of crowds; I’m not.

I waited patiently at the checkout line as the elderly, grey haired man in front of me hunched over and reached into his basket. His trembling hands placed a can of tuna on the rubber conveyor. As he glanced at me our eyes met and I could tell; he didn't like crowds either. I watched as he pulled out a quart of milk, a loaf of white bread, then a can of beans and two bananas. Finally, he placed a small jar of peanut butter on that moving belt. The cashier’s register flashed a number and she announced the total.

The grey haired man searched for his wallet as she tapped her fingers against her arm and waited. He thrust his hands into his pockets again and then again, as if magically his wallet would appear; it didn't. He looked at her meekly with a helpless look of resignation.

"We'll put all this away for you sir. When you come back with your wallet, it'll be here waiting for you, ok?"

The grey haired man was visibly embarrassed yet it was panic that gripped his throat as he stuttered; "I... I live a ways away. I won’t be able to get back here before you’re closed."

The people in back of me grew restless as they glanced side to side for an escape to another ‘cash’. The cashier had already pushed his items aside. And that’s when I spoke up.

"I'll pay for it."

The grey haired man tried to refuse my help but I wouldn’t listen. By the time I'd paid, tears had filled his faded grey eyes and he'd shaken my hand and thanked me a dozen times. As he slowly turned away, he clutched that bag of food and draped it carefully over his shoulder. It was snowing outside as he tugged on his woollen hat, put on his gloves and shuffled slowly out the door. I watched as he disappeared into those swirling flakes of white.

It dawned on me that no one ever plans for it. Everyone denies it and then before you realize it – time has blazed by. Mirrors never lie; they reflect exactly what you want to see in them. When I look into one, I see the mind of a young man trapped in a face that’s not mine. The wrinkles around those eyes belong to someone else. Grimly I wondered what if - something were to happen to me? I live alone. How long would it take for them to find me? Not that I’m planning on leaving or going anywhere; no one ever does. It just happens.

We don't plan to be alone and grow old… or do we?

Do you feel your age; physically and mentally?

Bonus Question: When do you shop for your food?

I guess, I could also have asked; How important is it, for you, not to be alone? But 's a harsh question, isn't it? . .
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FrankeeZee... The Weather Girl... and Thin Ice 😁
Posted:Mar 25, 2019 1:14 pm
Last Updated:May 3, 2019 10:55 am
This past weekend, the freezing rain, had turned to sleet and then... into blowing snow. It was spring... in Montreal. I stood there, waiting, in my driveway. It was covered, in a couple of inches of slush, by the time *FrankeeZee drifted in... sideways. His Jeep, barely missed me and doinked, my green, recycle bin. "Good job!"... I thought. FrankeeZee opened the door and jumped out, laughing. "Hey Paul. was close, huh? YOU drive! I've got a blog deadline to meet."

I hopped into the driver's seat. I loved, driving his Jeep. You're sitting high; clear view of the road and four wheels to pull you along. Who doesn't like driving a Jeep?

"So... Where wanna go?" I asked, as FrankeeZee, buckled in and opened his laptop.

"I don't know. Someplace quiet. How's about, uh... by the lake? I do my best writing down there. I gotta post my blog, by 4 o'clock. 's my time. I.m on a new . I.m posting the weather, from cities around the world and then, I give travel tips. And I upload, a bunch of naked pics, of the women, from each city. It's fricken wild!"

I looked at FrankeeZee and blinked." And shit, works for you? "

" know Paul, I've cracked the top 50 bloggers list. Yesterday, I moved another spot. Actually... everyone did. The number one, top blogger, left... on maternity leave."

I looked at FrankeeZee... and blinked, again.

It only took a few minutes... and we were down by the lake. There seemed to be, a lot of commotion, about a hundred yards from shore. I noticed a gaggle, of a couple of dozen people, huddled out on ice. FrankeeZee and I, piled out. We walked onto the lake. In the dead of winter, ice might be three feet thick. In the spring.... well, it melts pretty quickly, but we were still safe. They usually have all, the ice fishing huts, moved off the lake this time of . And all of them were gone... save for one... lonely cabin.

Right next to it, was what looked like a Ford F150 - with it's front end, partially submerged in the ice. There was a tow truck, on shore and the driver, was dragging the 'towing cable ', on his back. Trudging as quickly as he could, towards, slowly... sinking... truck.

"Well... Paul... guy, is fucked!" And just, as FrankeeZee spoke, the truck lurched forward. The crowd gasped. The , who were playing, screamed. And the owner of the truck, looked like he was about, to have a heart attack.

The towing cable wasn't long enough. I could see, the tow truck driver, making frantic calls on his cell. At moment, the TV crew and the 'Weather ' showed ... just in time. They filmed, as the truck dipped and broke through the ice. It slowly... slipped into the deep, murky waters, of the lake. A large hiss of air and a gurgle, marked the moment. The crowd groaned. The cheered and clapped... and the owner of the truck...? Well...he didn't look too good.

FrankeeZee and I watched as the Weather , made her report. He poked in the ribs and whispered...

"Paul... Is she or what? She'd never do it. But if I could convince her to live cam, naked... on my weather blog, my watchers would go thorough the roof."

I yanked FrankeeZee's arm and we made our way back to his Jeep and sat down. "Well... was interesting, wasn't it? I said.

" know Paul... There's a lesson to be learned here. Don't drive, your Ford F-150 on mushy, spring ice ! Yeah... guy learned the hard way. "

" Hey Frankee... by the way... it's 4:30 ... You missed your deadline.

" Ahh... Paul, it doesn't matter. I got to meet the Weather ... and we got to watch a truck sink, into a lake. Who's seen ?"

He was right!

"Paul... You should write about this, in your blog. It'll be quick and simple. And... there's a moral, to the story. It'll be a heck, of a lot better, than - 'Sex With a Domme', post you did the other day. I read it. You are.. one... fucked , little puppy Paul. You let Lynn... do all stuff to you?"

I looked FrankeeZee and nodded.

" Hey Paul... think Lynn has a friend? "

Do you procrastinate and the price or are you on time, with life's deadlines?

Bonus Question: Are there have any signs of spring, in your part of the world?

*FrankeeZee is a member and top blogger, of ™FOGCAF - Friends Of Good Clean Adulterous Fun

Here is a link to my post - the story FrankeeZee is referring to.
Sex With a Domme Way More Fun Than Toast and Jam

Note: The A F F website is still, dropping and chopping words. Please be patient. . .

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What The Flock Is Your Problem? I'm Listening .... 😱
Posted:Mar 22, 2019 4:53 pm
Last Updated:May 3, 2019 11:01 am
Hello... greetings and salutations. Another Friday is upon us and here... I a.m. Last Friday, I was your ears... and I listened, to anyone, who wanted to rant or complain, about anything. Complaining never solves anything, right? True! But it might make you feel better? And feeling better... is what, it's all about.

As for m.e? Well.... I.m writing this shit again, so it's obvious I.m not getting laid tonight.

Yeah... so.. If I had to ; I'd bitch about the potholes in this city.

Holy shit! You should see these suckers? They are huge! One of them swallowed an Austin Mini this week. The only advantage, of the potholes in this town, is you can tell, who the drunk drivers are. They're the ones driving, as straight as they can.

I.m not going anywhere tonight. I.m not getting laid, and neither are you. Unless, you've already been laid, and you're recovering; are you? Bring it on... I a.m listening.

The vodka slushies are in the freezer and the Irish coffee is freshly brewed. Help yourself.

Please don't jiggle the handle in the bathroom...


What the 'flock' is your problem? I've got time...

If you'd like to read something short... and a heck of a lot of hotter than this post ... 🔥 Click the link below and read this little ditty! 👇😁😘 It is HOT! 🔥
Sex With a Domme Way More Fun Than Toast and Jam
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Sex With a Domme... Way More Fun Than Toast and Jam 😊
Posted:Mar 21, 2019 4:51 pm
Last Updated:May 3, 2019 11:02 am
Note: A F F website issues have resulted in dropped and chopped words. Please be patient.
This is Lynn's story...

It was late. Paul turned the key and opened the door. The wedding reception, had dragged on longer, than we both expected. It was fun, but I was relieved, to finally... be home. Paul and I, walked into the bedroom. I flipped on the lights. I was tired and sat down in the grey armchair, by the dresser. He looked at me, with those hazel, moon shaped eyes of his. I knew, what he wanted.

" on Lynn. Get undressed. Close the lights and let's go t.o bed."

"No Paul. not in the mood."

He ignored my remark, flung his clothes on his chair and stood there... naked. I looked him and didn't move.... I simply smiled. I was still wearing, my black dress and heels. My thighs shimmered in the brightly lit room: silky sheer nylons, will create effect. Slowly... I crossed my legs. One foot, waved leisurely... and down.

I watched him. Paul had already begun to want . Anyone could tell, by the way it bounced , attention. I stared... mesmerized and amused, as it grew, in little jiggles. A penis... is sooo, interesting to watch, isn't it?

I stood and walked towards him. He probably expected a kiss. I touched him, stood back and admired his body. He shivered and looked a.t m.e , helpless and confused. His breathing rose , in pitch, as I touched him again... and then again. Standing back, I looked on, as it ... throbbed.

I smiled. I could touch Paul anywhere. He tried to touch m.e, but I pushed him away. Paul stood there and said nothing. I approached him, once more. He anticipated my hands and leaned his hips forward. My fingers, wandered lightly... where I knew... he wanted them to be. Paul... had no fucking shame! It was so ; the way he shyly stroked himself... in front of m.e.

"No... no... Paul! Keep your hands away from yourself! Leave them by your sides! " And... he obeyed m.e.

I circled him. My heels brushed the carpeted floor. Then I touched him again. He moaned and his hard cock, bounced for m.e. Precum dripped and hung from the tip, like a tiny, tear drop. I slid my fingers, across the wet head... and squeezed. I watched as his cock twitched, to the beat of his heart. Paul closed his eyes and gasped.

Then... I sat back down, in my armchair. I listened to him breathe... with the quick stuttered, helplessness... of a hungry puppy. I glanced into his eyes and held them, in my gaze.

" not ready to get undressed yet Paul... I'll tell you when I a.m. Show m.e more. over here. I want to p.lay with you."

Obediently, he walked over to . This was, such an easy game to . He'd given total, control to . He wanted to dominate him. Paul would do anything, I asked. All for the sake of relieving, the throbbing ache, between his legs. His bewildered gaze, held back a question; "What was I thinking?"

"It's going to be a while, before I let you Paul. "

I was, in complete control of him. It was a deliciously, powerful feeling. I smiled, as I admired my efforts. His wet... twitching dick... strained, as it begged, for my gentle touch. Yet it was his compliant eyes - were truly, my reward. I reached with my fingers. My nails traced a path, his thighs and across his stomach. Paul shivered for again.

It was time... for us to p.lay.

Who takes the lead in your relationships, or do you take turns?
Are you a Domme/Dom or a sub?

These questions might be too difficult to answer. No worries... Here's an EASY one.
Do you like toasted white bread
🍞 and jam? 😶

*NOTE : This site has been dropping and deleting words. If you see errors, please be patient. . .
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Transfer Your Mind And Have Sex... Like Never Before 😘😊
Posted:Mar 20, 2019 12:40 am
Last Updated:May 3, 2019 11:09 am
The switch was flipped. Their bodies shook, lights flashed and then... WOOSH .... his mind, had been transfered, into her body. And her mind - moved into his. The alien technology worked. Yes... it was only a 'Star Trek'  episode, but the possibilities are intriguing. Don't you think?

Lynn sat next to m.e, on the couch and nudged m.e, in the elbow. Her blue green eyes, twinkled, in t.he way they did, when she had a thought. "Paul... I would love to try t.hat. I would love to feel, what it's like to have a cock. I would fuck you, soo... bad." 

Lynn had consumed... a few glasses of wine. I looked at her and blinked. 

"Really? Well, I've always wanted to feel what it's like, to have a vagina. I would deffinitely love to have more, than ten orgasms. Sure... I'd try it!" I replied laughing. 

"Ooooo... and definitely, I'd want a blow job. Oh yeah." 

"Lynn. T.hat... would be MY cock, I'd be blowing. I.m not sure, I'd do t.hat. I was thinking more, about dildos and playing with my clit. I mean... your clit, you know?" 

"Absolutely YES... to a blow job. T.hat's a given! And.... oh baby... you'll love my clit. It's so sensitive, you can have multiple, little mini orgasms. It's so much fun. I'd lend you my vibrators. Hey... Can I try anal on you? And uh... I'd love to in your face." 

I looked a.t Lynn, and blinked again. "Are you fucking crazy? No way, I do anal. No way..." 

Here's where stuff gets trippy. The thing is... I'd love to feel, what it's like to have a vagina. I.d p.lay with it. Finger myself. Try dildos and all t.hat stuff. But... my mind, is still, 'straight'. You know what I mean? Inside... I.m still a man. 

Lynn poured herself, another glass of wine and grinned.

I looked a.t Lynn, and blinked again. I was starting to think twice, about alien technology. 

What I.m saying is, I'd like to test drive a vagina, for a while. Lynn would love to have a penis, for a whirl. I.m not sure, if I want to go through a menstrual cycle, but a.t least, I'd learn something... right? I would just, want to keep things... really simple.

Lynn leaned over to me, on the couch and dug her hands into my pants. "You're going to have to show me, how to pee, Paul?" she giggled.

"Enough wine for you. And wait, until you feel what it's like to get your balls crushed. Maybe then you'll be gentler with mine." 

"Oh Paul... I.m always gentle with these little guys." She moved her hands in there and gently squeezed.

It looked like, we weren't going to watch, the rest of t.hat episode. I didn't care. I'd already seen it, a dozen times... Kirk gets fucked, doggy style, by Spock... I think. 😁

Let's keep it simple. Ladies, gentlemen... you can transfer your mind, into any body, of the opposite sex... Are you game?

*Note :This website continues to chop and delete words. 's why you see them in the format you do. . .
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Are You Masturbating Too Much? ..... Hmmn ..... 🤔 😱
Posted:Mar 18, 2019 5:13 pm
Last Updated:May 3, 2019 11:13 am
Excessive masturbation causes cancer... in mice. These mice had been stimulated, 30 times daily.... for 2 and 95% of them, developed genital cancer. Scientists now warn, if men, or women masturbate too often... it can lead to dire, cancerous, consequences. Scientists, in Helsinki Finland, published their findings in the, "Scientific Weekly", this past Monday, providing... definitive proof.

OK... I just made... all bullshit . But it sounded official; NO ? And sure, some of you... paused for a second... or two - right?

That's my point!

If you read it somewhere... on the net, or heard it from a friend, who's read something - chances are, you're believing it. Or are you?

Do you recall the bogus scare, in 1995, created by a fake woman scientist (Nancy Markle), who proclaimed that aspartame, caused cancer? It was revealed, that she was a fake. It turned out... you'd have to consume... 20 pounds of that stuff , per day, for ten - in order to get cancer. To this day it is... the, canonical* example, of an Internet hoax.

* (Look the word... it's part of my mandate here - to educate. Yes... I had to look it as well.)

I sometimes... attention, to those scientific reports. You know the ones. one, in particular; where, if you eat one pound of carrots per day, you'll get carrot cancer. Yeah well... never mind crap. I love carrots. 😁

Do you bother reading, the latest scientific scares, or do you just... live your life?

Bonus Question : Do you masterbate once per day?

I've got a fresh pot of coffee brewing.... The Irish coffee is still flowing. Or... I have the usual slushies... In the fridge. You know where they are.

*Note: A F F has chopped and dropped words... Patience is a good thing. Uhh... 🤔. .
. .
Dogs Do It... And We've Copied Their Style... 💚😊🐶
Posted:Mar 16, 2019 5:29 pm
Last Updated:May 4, 2019 10:09 am
How many different styles are there? Which one is the most popular? Yes of course... you all know the answer - it's 'Doggy Style'. Men love it. Women adore it. D.ogs do it.

There was a g.roup , of wild hounds (in the midwest), who tried to popularise 'Backwards Cowgirl'... but that... never caught on, with those dogs.

It's the only way dogs do it and it's become a favorite of human's. We have named it - Doggy Style : It's Deep, Penetrating, Sensual, Submissive.... and uh... Oh... so fucking h.ot ! No?

The thing is... when i.m. behind her, my mind sometimes drifts. Her ass and woman bits, are s.o hot. No doubt! But occasionally... I start thinking...

"Should I put the meatloaf in the oven now, or wait a bit? It's going to take 45 minutes or so to cook ."

Well... then I started thinking. If I am thinking about meatloaf... what is she, thinking of? What are you, women thinking about, as you... white knuckle, and clutch those sheets? I can't see your f.aces . You moan and sigh and wiggle. But really... What are YOU thinking of?

I know that eventually... I focus on my job. And I get it done. Or, we switch to the 'Missionary Style' .... where I can feel her breath and l.ook into her eyes. And that's kool as well... And by then... the meatloaf is ready.

Is Doggy Style the one, that trips you o.ut, or do you have another favorite?
Or talk, about whatever you want to talk about.

Irish coffee today... ☕ or Vodka slushies are in the fridge.... 🍸Help yourself.
Oh and... don't jiggle with the handle on the toilet. Thanks...

A F F is screwing around by totally messing with words in blogs. If u see words missing... it is not me. . .
. .
What The Flock Is Your Problem? 😁
Posted:Mar 15, 2019 5:32 pm
Last Updated:May 4, 2019 10:11 am
We all try and keep it together, all the time. Yet everyone complains about something... sometime dont we? Even the most positive individual might have that moment of weakness, and complain, once in a while. Does any of that complaining help?

Take me for instance. The other night, I was pissed off with this stupid website - A F F for chopping and deleting words, from my blog stories. I write stories; good ones (read one), and when the story gets messed up... what's the point of my effort?

I read stuff here where ladies are bitching about how stupid men are; what with their dick pic profiles and all. I see comments where men bitch about women playing hard to get ;when their profile pic is them... with a dildo in their pussies. The traffic, the weather, your boss, your ex wife or husband.....

Bitching about something releases pressure and it makes you feel better. Or so claim the experts ... Most importantly, a lower stress level will improve your sex life;regardless of your status. Even if you are without a partner, your solo efforts will be happier moments! 😁

It's Friday night and it's late. You ain't getting laid this evening... You're reading this shit!

Bring it on......

What the fuck is your problem?

By the way... I.m not getting laid either. The vodka slushies are iced and I.... got time....

So.... ? What's bugging you ? Anything? . .
. .

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