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Ummmmm......It's Jake....from State Farm
Posted:Oct 25, 2015 9:00 am
Last Updated:Jan 15, 2016 9:59 pm

Just not sure why it is so difficult to find what we are looking for, on a site like this, it should be simple. Lol, with the intent being clear, there is really no need to try to “impress”, basically it’s a sure thing. You can chat endlessly, tell all about the great things you can do to me…..but what it all comes down to is the meeting. But it is SO hard to actually meet. In my experience, roughly 9 out of 10 people who make definite plans to meet either make some bullshit excuse or just don’t show up at all. The reasons, if any that are given are lame to say the least. A 10 year old could come up with more believable.

I think it comes down to the old saying that the grass is always greener on the other side. Lol, I KNOW in my mind what I want. Lol, I want someone with the magnetic energy of Luke Bryan, the rugged good looks of Sam Elliot, and Simon Cowell’s accent would hurt at all. Lol, chances are, NONE of those men are going to be knocking on my door anytime soon. So, it’s a good thing that I understand any or all of those things could be hidden inside of just about anyone, and if I ignore someone because he isn’t 6’3”, or magnetic, or hot, then I might be missing something great. FYI, when I met the love of my life, I was not physically attracted to him, but I felt something and I took the time to get to know him and it was fucking amazing.

So, WHY is it so hard to just meet someone? Here are some of the more insane excuses I have been told and actually expected to believe….if you see yourself here, don’t worry, I won’t mention names.

A married man was relentless. EVERYTHING inside me screamed he was married and I wanted nothing to do with him. It started out he had no pictures on his page (FYI, to me no pictures is the first indication of being married), this one couldn’t give any reason whatsoever. He wanted to email me a picture….funny thing, I would rather give out my phone number rather than my email…odd yes, but with messenger also being my email it kinda sucks when someone randomly decides to send a giant penis pic and my 8 year old granddaughter is using my laptop….yeah you understand. He wouldn’t text, because “he didn’t like his phone”. Well I finally got tired of his shit, so I gave him what most men would have jumped all over. I was in a very small town, told him I lived at a lake, maybe there was more than one, but not likely, and I told him what kind of car I drive and said it has Missouri license plates. Lol, I said find that car and you found me, and you can do ANYTHING to me you want for as long as you want. This was around 8:00 on Friday night, I only attached one “catch”, he HAD to find me before 6:00am Monday morning because it wouldn’t be very fair if he went to the hospital and found my car held hostage in the parking lot and follow me home…..his answer, “Oh man, I have my and don’t have a babysitter for him”………………his was 15!!!!!

Had plans to meet someone at Applebee’s, I texted before I was leaving and didn’t get a response, so I didn’t go…..he did not know this. Next day he called. “I am SO sorry, I am SUCH an idiot! I was on the way out the door to meet you and this girl I’ve been trying to meet suddenly called and very foolishly I decided to go meet her…..OMG, I made the WRONG choice, she was SUCH a bitch….PLEASE give me another chance”. Lmao…..Guess he didn’t get laid. Here’s a pointer for all…..NO ONE male or female EVER wants to KNOW that they were your second choice.

My phone died (for 2 months? Lol, REALLY). I fell asleep and didn’t wake up for 17 hours (I hope you changed the sheets, because surely you pissed the bed in that amount of time). I am SO sorry, I forgot that I agreed to go see Garth Brooks tonight with my friend. Cant’s let him waste a ticket……Are you FUCKING KIDDING me? First off WHO would forget they were going to see Garth Brooks? And WHAT man would be wanting his good buddy to go with him, lmao there are PLENTY of woman who would do just about ANY sexually act to be able to say she was there…..Ummmm the ticket would NOT be wasted.

These random examples are ALL from people I have NEVER met, every single one was from a 1st meeting. I suppose some just do not understand you NEVER get a second chance to make a first impression.

If you find any of this shit remotely believable, then I want to take a very long stroll on George Strait’s beach in AZ with you at midnight with a full moon.

Funny thing is, I want GREAT sex, I am not asking for love or marriage, for you to take care of me, I don’t want your money. The ONLY thing I ask for is HONESTY. Lol, the best sex is possible when you trust the one you’re with…..lol, we are talking about sexual fantasies….maybe you want to blindfold me, restrain me, or choke me? HOW do you expect me to trust you enough to let my mind go and try to enjoy any of it if the first encounter is a lie? If something ends up not being what I expected, how can I trust you will stop if I say NO?

I suppose what I am trying to say is, YES this is a sex site, and YES I do want sex…..I just choose to be respected while I am getting that sex.
Random thoughts
Posted:Oct 22, 2015 1:44 pm
Last Updated:Jan 15, 2016 10:03 pm

FIRST, for the LAST time, I am NOT interested in men young enough to be my , old enough to be my father….I am SICK of hearing “age is just a number” I understand that, but the fact is it matters to ME. What if you were completely 100% straight and some guy kept BEGGING to give you a blowjob…..if they said “It’s JUST a blowjob” would that make it OK in your mind? Would you do it?

To married men, if you meet me in public with your wife and SHE tells me it’s ok then sure, we can do what you want. Other than that, I do not care how sick your wife is or how many terrible disorders she has that keeps her from wanting or having sex, I am sorry, it’s not happening. Lol, on that subject, maybe you might want to make note of the fact that I work in surgery, and have for more than 30 years, even though I am not a doctor, I do have a fairly decent knowledge of disease processes, and to be perfectly honest, some of the shit you all have come up with is as believable as every single trauma patient who SWEARS they were doing NOTHING but minding their own business, reading their bible on their own porch (at 2am) and some DUDE just came up and started shooting/stabbing/beating (whatever) them for NO reason…….lol or like ALL of the patients who get any number of patients who end up with anything from a dildo to an economy size can of Lysol stuck up their ass because they tripped over the cat and whatever it was just went right up their ass….lol

I have gotten quite a bit of feedback from my last blog, and some of it has actually been helpful to me. I should clear up a couple of things though. I am NOT looking for “LOVE” Lol, love completely terrifies me. I am looking for SEX. QUALITY, SATISFYING SEX. Not sex with just any random person, I want great sex, frequently, with ONE partner. MUTUALLY satisfying sex. And I SMOKE, my profile indicates that. If we are trying to have sex, and you just “lose it” before it even happens, man up and admit it……What exactly is the point of “having to get to a meeting” and then sending an email later saying it was really fun (Obviously it was for YOU), but I don’t think it will work because I can’t handle the smoke……LOL, it wasn’t the smoke you couldn’t handle. What you couldn’t handle was a REAL LIVE HORNY woman.

I KNOW what kind of site this is, lol I came here because of that fact. I’ve used other sites to meet people. Everyone is looking for their “soulmate”, they wanna take long walks by the beach, and listen to my every desire drinking wine in front of a fire while they give me a massage and brush my hair. All kinds of happy shit like that, and what they REALLY want is sex. They just make up all that shit because it sounds good to women and they are more likely to get sex. I figured on this site, where the intent is VERY clear, it would eliminate the bullshit and lies. Funny thing though, it seems I have actually heard more bullshit here than I did on match.

If you choose to talk to me, I am fairly intelligent, not a genius by any means, but certainly no idiot. I am 51 years old, and I have NO desire to have anyone CUM right over and do anything for or to me. Saying it like that turns me off very quickly. That is how I would expect a to talk. For the record, sex is VERY mental for me. If you can manage to get my head into it, it will be mind blowing. Talking and attempting to act like you are 20 or 30 years younger than you are does not do it for me.

I am NOT looking for random hookups in the middle of the night. I want a REAL FRIEND with benefits, emphasis on FRIEND. I believe in my profile I called it a NSA BF. Lol, I sorry, I do not have the time, energy or desire to have a “real” relationship right now, I just want fun, not wanting to deal with the emotional shit. Nor do I have any desire to have sex and nothing else…..I need something in the middle. The first time you have sex with someone it’s clumsy and awkward, if it’s bad the first time it will ALWAYS be bad, if it is “OK” or “good” or even “GREAT” it will get better as time goes on. GREAT is my goal, I am sick of being sexually frustrated. It is like anything else in life, if you want it to be amazing and good and close to perfection it takes work, in the case I believe the benefit is well worth the effort. I don’t want to waste the rest of my life with first time sex.

In my last blog I spoke about my “curiosity” about my possible submissive side. Apparently that was misunderstood as much as the “love” thing. I have a desire to explore being submissive. That does NOT mean I want to be beaten, abused, battered, or talked to like I am a piece of shit. It means I have a desire to “submit” my body for incredible sex…..to explore my limits and see how “high” (from sex), I can get. I am looking for crazy, wild, nasty, dirty, animalistic, upside down monkey vampire sex. As far as being a submissive, I have no idea if I am or even if I am capable of being that, I just have a desire to check it out….if that makes sense.

I have spent my entire LIFE doing and being what other people wanted me to do or be. Three years ago when I was blindsided by having my heart ripped out of me and was completely devastated by a fucking Hoosier, once I started processing all of it, I made a promise to MYSELF….that promise was I WILL NEVER “SETTLE” for anything less than I want EVER again. Lol, I am not looking to be a complete bitch, but it is about time I start taking care of myself for a change. Recently, I have done some things, lol or in some cases attempted to do some things with some men simply because of this incredible NEED for sexual satisfaction, I have made choices that were nothing close to what I desire, so I have been settling. I am very disappointed in myself for that.
A little insight into me....
Posted:Oct 9, 2015 11:16 am
Last Updated:Dec 3, 2019 9:35 pm

Someone asked what I was into and why, the following is the email I sent. I think I did a better job explaining "me" than I have ever been able to. Just thought I'd post it here to see if it helps, lol.

Work was nice...lol it was quiet and not a lot of rooms to set up for this morning, lol and only one that I had to change beds for...iI like these kind of nights.

So, I actually have several reasons as to why I an intrigued by the idea of submission. Lol, not even sure where to start.

First off, I guess it does have a lot to do with my life. I have 4 sons, the youngest is 19 and severely handicapped. THAT alone has probably been my biggest challenge in life. No comes with an instruction booklet, and these are no exception. That combined with the fact that I managed to marry 2 of (close) to the most worthless men in the world....neither could make a decision to save their life... ALL of that was ALWAYS left up to me, right or wrong, good or bad. The first one was so freaking stupid, I actually told him one time that it was a VERY good thing our bodies breath automatically, because he would be dead if he had to understand the process. Lol, 2 years after we got a divorce he died....maybe I was on to something the time I told him I was afraid I'd have to tell him time to breathe. Ok, we'll enough of that, I DID marry them, so I am not completely blameless.

Next, or maybe this should have been first, is the way and the time in which I was raised. When I was a , whenever ANY discussion turned to ANYTHING sexual, it was "good girls don't do that" "Sex is for men, women don't like it and they only do it because it is their JOB" "Only 'whores' like sex"....that one to me NEVER made sense at all...to most whores sex is a means to an end, a way to survive, most will say they can't stand sex.

Anyway, I am sure you get my point about my head being filled with complete bullshit about sex for as long as I can remember. I have ALWAYS LOVED sex, for as long as I can remember, maybe even before I even knew what it was... so I ended up believing something was terribly wrong with me. I have always had desires for wild never ending freaky sex, and was never able to admit it....lol THAT I suppose is where 50 Shades of Gray comes in, but I'll get to that.

My biological father was killed in a car accident 23 days before I was born....I never had that "male bonding" figure that little girls need. I had the wrong ideas about sex and MUCH of my life I tried to get "love" through sex....lol didn't work at all. My mother was a 16 year old idiot when I was born, I am sure having a without a father was not an easy task for her....however, she still should have had a little more sense, like don't leave your little girl with your male friends as babysitters. ....I suppose you can guess how THAT worked out for me.

Then, I read 50 Shades....it was fucking amazing to me .. NOT the rich guy, but the SEX....it wanted to play out some of the scenes....it seriously CRAVED that shit I read. Right about that time I had a BF, I talked about it a little, but it was tough... didn't want him thinking I was some kind of sexual deviant. I did suggest HE read it though.

So, when I met this BF, I was separated but still legally married. When I met him there was an INSTANT comfort level with him, and unbelievable trust....it was just supposed to be "friends" well THAT failed miserably. I started having feelings, and I prayed to God to take them away. That never happened, the more I prayed them, the stronger they got. Pretty soon and started believing that God had hand picked this man and dropped him in my lap. I believed he was the man I was meant to be with, and soon I was completely lost in love. I mean REAL TRUE LOVE for the very FIRST time in my life. I gave myself to him completely, mind, body, and soul. I trusted him without a single doubt or reservation.

Well, a year later his ex wife had their tell a lie that I could fix.....in the blink of an eye it was over and my world was shattered. When he walked out the door that night I started drinking. I am not a big drinker, and I drank a 12 pack of tall cans in less than 2 hours.....then in a drunken depressed stupor, with no memory whatsoever, I swallowed 90 kolonopin. I woke up 3 days later locked in a psych unit, after a couple days in an ICU. I was completely broken and devastated. I sat in my pajamas and cried for 2 months.

It has been a VERY long road to recovery, truth be told, I am not completely over it today. That was January 30, 2013. I saw him a few times after that, we had sex and I tried to make believe it was ok, but I realized I was a secret and couldn't deal with it. I spent a very long time in a very dark place. When I started coming out of it, I began to wonder what it was about THIS man that I could NOT let go of.....one day my mind clicked and I realized it had NOTHING to do with him and EVERYTHING to do with me. I had allowed myself to love and trust on a level I had never even imagined was even possible. I believe that TRUST I had is what made the entire year so magical.

My mind is VERY powerful, sex for me is probably 80% mental. The sex was SO amazing because that is how it was in my mind. I miss those feelings so much...

So, I started thinking about my life, 50 Shades, and submission.

In my mind I thought that through submission, I could get the kind of sex I desperately wanted without the "guilt" associated with it from the fucked up shit that was pounced into my head as long as I can remember. Lol, if I was being "told" what to do, and "forced" to do it, I would be doing my "job".....I tell you, parents and society in general have NO IDEA how bad they can fuck up a 's mind.

Then, 50 Shades was mostly about the contract between the submissive and the Dom. So, there are RULES. Very clear rules that are decided and agreed upon before anything happens. In our traditional relationships and "love" there are NO rules. We lie to each other, hurt each other, cheat on each other....and in the end, it's always "well I love you"

So I see submission as a way to get the sex I want without the fear of being hurt. You follow the rules, you know own the expectations and you abide by them....no pain....right?

And finally, there is the stress....ALWAYS having to do and figure out how to do the right thing. I REALLY want to know what it is like to have that tightness that is stress in every muscle in my body, especially in my neck and between my shoulders to be gone....even for a brief period. I do know sex does this because the year I spent with him was amazing sex and virtually NO stress. I was content and happy.

I also think learning to be submissive could actually help me in my job too. Lol, when I started I was a baby, 19 years old....now I am older and more experienced than MANY of the surgeons I work with.. lol I have zero tolerance for stupidity, and very little patience with struggling docs....I very often start telling the surgeon what to do and how to do it....lol, this can lead to deep trouble at times. There are not a lot of docs out there who take kindly to a tech telling them what to do... lmao they usually resist with a vengeance. And they must feel like complete shit when they end up doing what I said and I turn out being right.. I used to be very good at suggesting things in such a way they believed it was their idea to start with....now I am more like "in their face" saying do this....let's get this case over with. I sometimes think the ONLY reason they put up with my shit is that I am VERY good at my job, and there is almost nothing I can't do or at least figure out a way to do....if that makes sense.

I am pretty sure that if I can find sexual satisfaction again, I could "soften" up a little bit and not be as abrasive as I can be much of the time.

I have talked I depth with many people, and I am NOT convinced that what I am looking for even exists.....but IF there is a chance, and I don't think I would end up more "damaged" than I already am, I think I would take the chance.

To link to this blog (ShowMeGirl10864) use [blog ShowMeGirl10864] in your messages.

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Most Recent Comments by Others

Post Poster Post Date
A little insight into me.... (7)Doozy222
Dec 9, 2019 1:52 pm
Ummmmm......It's Jake....from State Farm (6)maestroexmanoa
Nov 9, 2016 9:58 pm
Random thoughts (10)redrockrascal
Oct 24, 2015 12:02 pm