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Unfortunate Sometimes  

TB5758 62M/63F  
38 posts
1/5/2020 7:20 am
Unfortunate Sometimes

It never ceases to amaze me how disconnected and lacking in emotional intelligence some people are. We like to play as a couple. I the husband do the screening because I do not want to subject my wife, lover and best friend to the nonsense some men like to dish out. I mean some of the things said to me are atrocious when they think it is her online. Hey baby suck my dick! Very nice, I am sure well before the internet that was the best opening line ever, right? This post is not about all the nonsense, it is about sifting through the liars, fakes, crazies and rude people you think you find someone genuine. This person engages in a reasonable conversation and a lunch is set to establish chemistry. The guy seems excited and there is a distance involved but we decide to travel the distance ourselves. I give the person direct contact to my wife and prompt him to have a conversation as to ease the initial meeting stress and alleviate any uncomfortable moments. In short, have an idea of who each person is without having the actual meeting yet. Contact with her is initiated, she is excited for their next conversation because the meeting is still a week or so away, but it never comes. She starts to have serious doubts about any kind of time investment with this person as do I. Suddenly she looks up from her laptop one day and says, I do not want to go to lunch next Saturday. I totally get it. I feel foolish by having yet again misjudged the sincerity and/or desire the guy had when initially talking with me. We live and we learn.

LakeRidgeBBWSeek 59M
3755 posts
1/5/2020 7:31 pm

I do hope it all works out for you two

TB5758 replies on 1/6/2020 1:24 am:
Part of the game just a lot of time wasted

travelnottourism 45M  
108 posts
1/24/2020 11:15 pm

Like so much in life, simple and clear communication can make things so much easier than second-guessing and trying not to hurt feelings. I admire and applaud your approach and as a traveller who appreciates every opportunity he gets to make new contacts and meet new people, I do my best never to count my chickens. If you make arrangements to speak on the phone or to turn up for lunch then that's what you do. How hard is it to be polite?

I had made arrangements to meet a woman for a drink recently and after exchanging photos, she simple ghosted me. I never advertised myself falsely (if anything, I played myself down) but a simple message saying, "Thank you for such enjoyable talk on the phone. I'm sorry that I simply can't connect your photos to that conversation, and would prefer to stop communicating at this point. Thank you and good luck."

You shouldn't feel foolish at all! You two have set up boundaries to ensure that the people you *do* meet are people you feel have the greatest chance to connect with. If you *had* met up and found you had no connection, wouldn't that have been more foolish? I admire your commitment to playing within your boundaries.

Thank you and good luck!

TB5758 replies on 1/25/2020 6:44 pm:
Thank you for the kind words

insatiable_man2 61M
1500 posts
4/11/2020 6:23 am

I would be flirting so much lol. Half the fun of the meet is the build up/ anticipation of the sweets.

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