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Good Guitar Play
Posted:Dec 21, 2016 6:44 pm
Last Updated:Jun 11, 2017 12:26 pm
3809 Views

A woman was in court for killing her husband with his guitar collection. The Judge said, "First Offender?" The woman replied, "No, your honor, first a Gibson then a Fender.?"
0 Comments
Definitely NOT PC...But I Think It Is Funny
Posted:Oct 24, 2016 6:32 pm
Last Updated:Oct 25, 2016 6:31 am
5103 Views

Two Texas vampires are walking the streets of McAllen on Halloween night. They come across an illegal Mexican sleeping on a park bench, sombrero pulled low, serape snug around like a blanket. The first one whips his cape aside and gets ready to bite the Mexican when the second one says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you...last time I bit one, I had the shits for a week!"

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Halloween Party
Posted:Oct 22, 2016 1:45 pm
Last Updated:Dec 8, 2021 5:22 am
5724 Views

I am going to a Halloween party tonight. Taking a friend of mine named Michelle. I am painting myself green and going as a turtle....I will be carrying Michelle piggy back...when people ask why I am carrying her I will reply, "Oh...she's Michelle."
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You May Be A Redneck If....
Posted:Oct 22, 2016 1:42 pm
Last Updated:Dec 8, 2021 5:22 am
4658 Views

Your Halloween pumpkin has more teeth than all of your neighbors.
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Helping Another
Posted:Oct 8, 2016 6:54 am
Last Updated:Oct 8, 2016 6:55 am
4939 Views

Been on assignment out of the country for a long while...too busy working to play...sorry folks...anyway...When I got back, I saw a car at the airport parking garage that had a bumper sticker that said, "I miss Chicago!"

I thought about that for a minute and then broke all the windows with my tire iron, stole the radio-navigation system, slashed the leather seats with my knife, shot all four tires flat and put an "Obama" sticker on the bumper."

Left a note under the one wiper blade...it said, "Hope this makes you feel at home."
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100m Breast Stroke
Posted:Aug 18, 2016 4:15 pm
Last Updated:Aug 18, 2016 4:16 pm
6273 Views

The US blonde female 100m breast stroke swimmer set a new Olympic record: 1 hour and 23 minutes. When she was interviewed, the reporter said, "All the other swimmers finished in about 20 seconds, why did it take you so long to finish?" The American swimmer squirmed a little and then said, "Well, I hate to be a tattletale, but the other girls used their arms."
0 Comments
Zika Virus - NOT Politically Correct
Posted:Aug 12, 2016 6:26 am
Last Updated:Dec 8, 2021 5:22 am
6450 Views

I have been going out at night to try and get mosquitoes to bite me and give me the Zika virus. My friends asked me, "Why?" I responded, "Cause I heard that it gives you a little head."
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A New Bird Species Discovered
Posted:Aug 1, 2016 5:57 pm
Last Updated:Aug 1, 2016 5:59 pm
8272 Views

On a small and virtually unknown island called Vel, off the coast of Scotland, a new species of bird has been discovered. It is a fairly large bird, black in color, and has the peculiar trait of only flying in a very close flock. It has been noted by the ornithologist discovering it, that this species of crow flies so close to one another in the flock that they actually touch one another as if locked together. The name of this bird? Obviously........Velcrow.
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Being Happily Married
Posted:Jul 30, 2016 7:13 am
Last Updated:Dec 8, 2021 5:22 am
6935 Views

"People ask me why I am such an optimist and smile most all the time in such a long marriage. I tell them my wife and I take time to go to a restaurant two times a month and have a little romantic dinner, soft music, and dancing....then off to a hotel for a night of passionate sex. She goes Tuesdays with her lover and I go on Wednesdays with mine."
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A World Without Women....
Posted:Jul 27, 2016 6:36 pm
Last Updated:Dec 8, 2021 5:22 am
7077 Views

Would be a real pain in the ass.* @!@

*If you don't get it...you are way too young to be reading my blog!
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Difference Between Men and Women
Posted:Jul 25, 2016 2:30 pm
Last Updated:Dec 8, 2021 5:22 am
7121 Views

Q. What’s the biggest difference between men and women?

A. The phrase “I went through a whole box of tissues watching that film.” usually has a completely different meaning.

...\8
0 Comments
Role Playing
Posted:Jul 25, 2016 2:25 pm
Last Updated:Jul 25, 2016 2:32 pm
8803 Views

I was recently asked why my ex-wife and I went our separate ways. I responded that it was because my wife liked to role play in bed. See...every time I told her I was horny, she would role play that she was in a coma.

0 Comments
If Life Gives You Melons
Posted:Jul 25, 2016 2:19 pm
Last Updated:Dec 8, 2021 5:22 am
7107 Views

It is no doubt...you ARE dyslexic.
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