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How to talk to women (or at least to me)  

Tiamat2020 50F
0 posts
5/24/2020 8:20 pm
How to talk to women (or at least to me)


A friend thought it would be a good idea for try a dating site. I’ve been lonely and, frankly, horny, for a year, and haven't had a date since the turn of the century. Fuck, that's sad. I researched sites, and read blogs, reviews, and tips about them. I decided try one of the "standard" dating sites first. Then the pandemic . It was a blessing in disguise because I got bored fast. Here's my experience and why I'm here.

I started by creating a belligerent profile with no picture and lurked for a week. A few people wrote . Pleasant nothings. No follow through; just trading nonsense then…nothing. I debated about a picture – I like being anonymous. I tried taking selfies. I suck. Tried again. Managed a few that didn’t look too bad and look like . I uploaded them. Suddenly, I had lots of attention.

Some men wrote and never wrote again. Some propositioned me. One insisted on meeting, asked for my number and never got in touch. Whatever. Met many among the walking wounded. I’ve been doing a lot of free therapy. I'm tired of it, and don’t want to wade through people’s bullshit to have some fucking intimacy.

I’ve come to learn a few things already during this experience. First. high school has shifted online. The same games, same insincere sincere blandishments about what people are looking the same desperation and confusion. I'm not immune, either, but it's complicated because I like women. But I also like sleeping with men. You see my problem.

Men, if you want sleep with women, at least women of my generation, be honest. Don't rely on porn for everything. Read erotica, romance novels, ask questions. It's not my fault if the move that worked on your last lover doesn't turn me on. Ask me what I want and I'll tell you.

If you want have sex with , just say so. When you write , be clear. I’ll write you back if you say something other than "hey." I’m a grown ass woman. Just ask me. Ask me for a coffee date or ask me for sex. Or and see where it goes. If I don’t want , I’ll say no. If I want meet you, I might. Even just see if you are interesting enough sleep with. Don’t send photos of your dick. I may not know what your dick looks like, but I’ve seen dicks before. It’s not going to impress . Unless maybe if you had two.

When I'm looking at men, of course I'm checking you out. And not for the “gosh, I wonder if he’s good husband material.” At least, I’m not. I’m looking at your photos, reading through your stuff thinking “yeah, I could throw you against the wall and fuck you,” and then you write me something lame. Now I’m bored. And sad. And too polite not to write you back unless you insist on sending me pictures.

The reality is that we are all looking for intimacy. Humans seek touch, sex, warmth, companionship. Whatever that means to each of us, we want it. All the other stuff we do in between – eating, sleeping, working – is all filler until we can have sex. Maybe we create art, write some books, establish civilizations along the way. But connection, intimacy, is how we continue forward.

As for me? I love to write erotica. Some days, I do a good job. I need more material; that's why I'm here. And I promise to share.

Prof10001 60M
3604 posts
5/25/2020 5:56 am

Welcome to blogging. I enjoyed your post. My blog has a link to some stories I've written. I'd love to hear what you think. I look forward to seeing your erotica soon.

Prof10001
Swing by my blog!


Tiamat2020 replies on 5/26/2020 6:13 pm:
Enjoyed checking out some of your blog, will read more as time permits. The weird times we live in are proper fodder, are they not?

profcoquin27bis 55M
3190 posts
5/25/2020 7:12 am

totaly agree


Paulxx001 63M
16550 posts
5/25/2020 7:26 am

Men hear don't reed ... so good.
and they barely right.
Have funn... !


JustLookn439 54M

5/25/2020 7:35 am

Well I am a long ways from you, so I won't be entertaining any meets. I will say that when anyone comes on with propositions before they know you is a HUGE RED FLAG. Normal people want to get to know you before they make that kind of commitment. Those that don't get back to you forget who they are corresponding with because there are too many of them to manage well. They are players.


jolielaide 48F  
1389 posts
5/25/2020 7:35 am

you're absolutely right. even before a worldwide pandemic came on the scene. i honestly think sex would be too overwhelming right now because the thought of just a hug might cause me to burst into tears. lol! but some homegrown intimacy; kissing n' cuddling, whispers to reset the muscle memory would very well do the trick


Tiamat2020 replies on 5/26/2020 3:16 pm:
I feel you, jolielaide, and love your user name! We are all getting starved for touch; I know my skin hunger is off the charts. I'll whisper in your ear and send a virtual hug...

jajo696 65F
2198 posts
5/25/2020 10:54 am

lol @ unimpressed by the appendage pics, " unless you have two"

right on sistah.....~~


Tiamat2020 replies on 5/26/2020 3:18 pm:
Right? Women are MUCH prettier. I think men love to have other men see their genitals, which is just fine but let's own it, folks.

Granny872 67F  
2396 posts
5/25/2020 1:55 pm

IMO, most dating sites are pretty much the same with a few exceptions. Partially to blame is the number of sites that are consolidated with larger sites, all of those members get blended together, and the culture/style of the bigger site becomes the norm. Thus, there's nowhere to go that doesn't look/sound/read just like all the others.


merlot5555 64M  
873 posts
5/25/2020 2:16 pm

...lol... the never ending merry go round of life....you have an interesting wit... check my blog... if you think it is interesting, we might talk more... signing off... Obi-wan....


Tiamat2020 replies on 5/26/2020 6:14 pm:
Love the images in your blog, merlot! Your comparison of strip clubs to drawing classes had me in tears...too true.

Owatalife 63M
1561 posts
5/25/2020 10:08 pm

For the most part at least this place folks are a bit more straightforward with what they are supposedly seeking. Yes there are loads of flakes & time wasters yet no different from real life.

Welcome to blogland & hope you enjoy the site.


justaguyinalaska 54M  
563 posts
5/26/2020 3:23 am

While you had me at, "I'm tired of it, and don't want to wade through people's bullshit to have some fucking intimacy", your blog brilliantly makes the case as to why your unflinching, gimlet eyes might provoke men to bare souls they were not aware they possessed. That said, the "Me Tarzan, you Jane," approach is likely not seductive for you either. In short, while forceful, laconic men are out there (John Wick is still available!) hipster-culture may have put them on the endangered species list. Like the rest of us, you have a *long, strange trip* ahead of you.

Regarding the notion that *dating sites* offer any streamlining, innovation or simply a breath of fresh air from Gen Pop, plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose. We're all bozos on this bus and even stolen profile pics and a Gold Membership are still just lipstick on a pig.

Please keep posting dispatches from the front lines!


Tiamat2020 replies on 5/26/2020 3:21 pm:
Thanks, justaguyinalaska - life is too weird to hold back, you know? I'm pretty laconic myself, so totally get the male grunting at one another thing. I'm great at it. But most of the men I know, even super macho manly men are really sensitive underneath. This macho bullshit is boring for everyone, unless it's really authentic. I've met those folks, too.

I'll check out your blog - nice to know I'm not shouting into the void!

Tiamat2020 50F

5/26/2020 3:23 pm

Thanks for the comments, all! I appreciate it, and am having a blast having the chance to share.


Paulxx001 63M
16550 posts
5/28/2020 11:04 am

Hey... I have a Q?
Is your blog going to be one of those, where people post comments - for posterity?
Or will you be interacting with 'them' - back and forth - with a dialogue?
Just curious ...


Tiamat2020 replies on 5/31/2020 6:47 pm:
I hope to interact when I can, especially since people are kind enough to comment!

voyeurs53 41M  
367 posts
5/28/2020 7:01 pm

This is awesome... great blog telling it like it is... best of luck to you in your search...


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