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I was praying it would be my last; but, I guess not. Read It and Weep ride along with me.
Posted:Oct 8, 2021 7:47 pm
Last Updated:Oct 11, 2021 9:58 pm
157 Views

INTRODUCTION/TITLE
Fwb that lives less than an hour away and is between the ages of 50 and 70.

ABOUT ME (Yes, this is where the tears start flow.)
It's not casual. It's not a one-and-done. I want it work and I want it work for a while. If you aren't interested in investing in a relationship that you have great sex in and be able live your own life and leave mine alone, then don't bother because no matter how hard you try hide it I'm going figure it out.

If you are under 50 leave be. I am not interested at this point in time. You're too mercurial for what I need. Sew your oats somewhere else.

Again, I have to spell it out. I am looking for a friend-with-benefits relationship. FWB, I'm looking for consistency. Something concrete. four times a week minimum. I'm not going get that with casual or a one night stand. So leave alone if it's anything other than what I am looking for. Most of you just don't get it. Some of you understand; but you just don't care what any woman wants you're only for what you want. So; how's that working out for you? Aces right? Get real. How many times do I have tell the people over and over again; no, you're too far? Take a look at the distance, see how long it's going to take you to drive it. Let's face it; anything over an hour yeah it's not going to last for long and I'm not in this seeking for a couple of weeks duration because by that time you're going to be ready to kill yourself. You'll be so tired because it's a marathon with me. It's not a quickie. So; move on, because I'm going to tell you it's too far and I'm going to shut you down and block you. Get your heads out of your asses and quit acting like your brains have been fried by the Florida sun and think about it. I'm a human being. I'm not a piece of meat for your pleasure. With these attitudes it shows me you're a selfish lover. I wouldn't want you in my bed anyhow.

I shouldn't have to be doing this, spelling it out again. Wake the f up. Y' complain nobody's fucking, nobody will do anything. Take a look in the mirror. It's you. Just because I'm you keep hitting saying ' I see you still haven't found anybody." No, I haven't found the lover I'm seeking. It's not for a lack of offers. I would rather have one viable offer a month explore then have the hundred that I have every month that I have sort through. It's men that live in a different State who will be visiting and think that I'm going engage for a weekend or week. I'm sorry, what am I supposed do after you're gone? What about the ones that live on the opposite coast who say, l can make the drive. I like drive. Give a break. What planet do you live ? I live planet Earth. You know the real world. I live in a world where a two-hour commute top of or four hours of energetic sex and then another two hour drive home that's a full work day top of a full work day for a lot of you. Let's just go ahead and add to it that it's going to be or four times a week. There you go it's a recipe for disaster. I'm sorry I'm not into having people d.o.a. Because they didn't have a brain in their head that said, this is not a good idea.

Here's the kicker, be a married man who wants to do me so bad because their life is wanting so much. Yeah, well I'm not available for weekdays or weekend days. I have a life. I am busy during the day. Let's say she works nights availability evenings. Okay get an STD test. , you don't want because you've only been with your wife. If you're looking be with , what makes believe that you haven't been with anybody else? That you haven't been looking for a while? You haven't had somebody else the side before? Yeah, I don't believe it. How about I can't take the treatment for STD's; so, unless your wife has been in your back pocket for every minute of every day and never out of your sight, then don't even go there. You don't know where she's been. I'm not going there because it's my life we're talking about. I can't take the treatments. It will put me into liver failure and I'm sorry I'm not going to risk my life for any one of you.

So, these are the reasons why I have not been able to find a partner because you don't want to test. To you my life is unimportant. Good then I don't want to be with you. The drive is too far, what the f is wrong with you? What planet do you live on? Wake and smell the coffee. It's been brewing a long time. So, quit wasting my time.

Am I worth the time? The test? The men that I've been with think so. Well if they thought so then why did it end? Because they were too far. Because they were too young. Because they were married or they were too small and got pushed out and could not stay in no matter what was tried. Or the biggest reason because they had ED issues and couldn't stay hard. It takes a hard cock to pound it for that many hours. yeah please I am a BBW make no mistake. Is in my profile I don't get it it's changing but it's still the I am a BBW and that's not everyone's preference so don't if you can't comprehend this if you didn't read the way. So I'm putting it I am big I am obese I am stack I have hanging flesh because I lost a significant amount of weight already the medical condition that I suffered from is no longer active I should have been dead eight years ago but I'm not because I fought not gain the weight that was projected. I am a fighter. I survived a home invasion that almost killed me and took me two years to recover from almost. I Will Survive not being able to gain any immunities for this covid-19 virus and I will live; but, I'm not doing it and taking huge risks. That's not who I am. As well, I am visually impaired/legally blind. I cannot drive. Figure it out people I can't meet you halfway. I'm not getting there, you have got to come to me.

So, give me a break. I don't like the person I'm becoming. I mean, I used to give everyone the benefit of the doubt; but, too many of you have proven to me that you're liars. You show with ED issues, you can't get hard. Hey at least I wasn't with you. You're too small and I'm not going there again. I'll hurt somebody, I am definitely at my breaking point. Please just be what I am seeking. Send me an email with your availability, your first . well; please tell what type of relationship you are seeking. Include the driving time. But most importantly please review my questions and answers and of my information that is below about bra size and sunrise and everything else so that you can make the most informed decision like I try do. I am very careful and I am very leery of anything a man tells at this point in time. I have been pandered enough I have been LED downtown Twisted in circles until I'm in knots I have been used and abused and no more. I may not have a lot of experience dealing with men but the experience I have had this site. It has jaded . So, don't waste my time and I won't waste yours.

MY IDEAL PERSON (Seems like Pete, Pete and repeat. I'd much rather it be lather, rinse, and repeat.)
It is what it always has been. Be tall enough so I can wear heels, 7-inch or greater cock with a pulse attached somebody with incredible stamina and no erectile dysfunction issues that can keep with this hypersexual (that's a nymphomaniac boys and girls) woman. It's always been about the cock, my greatest love. yeah, the dream is he carries a current STD test in his back pocket.

STD test + pic of your dick next a ruler. Unless it hangs 1/2 way your knees. Save from the social niceties. Provide or be deleted.

Looking for a good Dom. Not a master and not someone who thinks it's a game. It is a sexual preference. It is a lifestyle. If you've never done it then don't bother references will be required if I have any doubt. No pain. I am a good submissive lover who enjoys pleasing her partner. I am able give of myself sexually your whims with a few exceptions. You will control of the sexual activity. Personal lives are not included. You must meet my requirements. I have filled out of the questions and answers. I'm not going spell it out again that's something for you and I discuss before entering this. I cannot do text I'm visually impaired.
0 Comments , 1 Pending
Last Thing
Posted:Sep 23, 2021 5:46 am
Last Updated:Oct 11, 2021 9:59 pm
348 Views

I would like to say it's been nice but it hasn't.

I was given advice, I could live or I could live. Piece of cake right? It seems after receiving both the Pfizer and the Moderna vaccines, I have no immunities. I am unable to build them. It is most likely because of damage that was done in the home invasion, that gift that keeps on giving only this time, it took away.

I could live taking precautions and taking a huge risk like everything seems to have been in the last several years or I could live and shutdown again and wait to die. That's something I was familiar with. After all, I did it for 10 and a half years, right? Another Cakewalk easy only the first time wasn't and I built this incredible Pandora's Box while doing it and it hasn't been easy trying to deal with it but it was a box of my own making. I just knew could not create another one again.

So, this time I chose to live. I chose not to shut down. Along with that goes all of of risks; but, I was willing to take them. To go back to where I was, not engaging, not participating, not seeking what was missing was not living. It was existing, waiting to die. I couldn't go back to that nor will I ever have to again. I made my choice. It tremendously hard. It was a giant leap; but, I made it and I am happy I did. To do anything else would have been tempting fate. I wouldn't do that twice. So I took a giant leap of faith. No matter how it turns out. I'm not on the sidelines anymore I'm not sitting waiting to die. I've chosen to live. I recommend you all do the same.

Stop sitting here jerking off. Engage. After all it's much nicer when somebody else jerks you off than you being the jerkee to yourself. Live, Love, Laugh, Experiment, Explore, Take a Walk on the Wild Side for crying out loud and Dance like nobody's watching because they really aren't and take that Leap that Giant Leap and if you're lucky there will be arms waiting for you on the other side. It is the only place you will be safe, finally. Don't waste another moment. We waste so many of them and tomorrow's not promised to any one of us. So, live people. Run wild. Be free. Break Free from the bonds that are tying you. Throw off the chains that have held you down. Throw them all away. It's not worth it not for one moment because you'll miss happiness if you do that. You will miss the very best part of life. Take it from me, someone who wasted 10 and 1/2 years of her life. I won't do it any more. I refuse to. I will live each day as if it is my last because we never know when it really is.

Good luck everyone.h8

My Ideal:
It is what it always has been, a 7-inch or greater cock with a pulse attached to somebody with incredible stamina and no erectile dysfunction issues that can keep up with this hypersexual (that's a nymphomaniac boys and girls) woman. It's always been about the cock, my greatest love. Oh, yeah with a current STD test in his back pocket. Mmmmm. A girl can dream can't she?
1 comment
Excuses, explanations; but, the bitter truth and just like that bitter pill, hard to swallow.
Posted:Aug 29, 2021 2:10 am
Last Updated:Sep 8, 2021 11:03 pm
767 Views

As with all things, looks can be deceiving. I stand before a mirror and I do not see what other people see. Now I am a shell, trying to rebuild after so much that was taken from me. We can never reclaim what we have lost and I have lost so much. Sometimes each day is a struggle, to put one foot in front of the other, to have the courage to try and move forward. Sometimes I cannot find it. More so now than ever before. I feel broken, adrift in a vast ocean.

Why is it so hard to put one foot in front of the other? Why is it so hard to find a man that will stand and deliver and be honest and understand me when the fear is overwhelming and understand what it is about? Understand who I am. I need someone like me. Someone that can understand what it is like to be trapped. To make choices you are not comfortable with because you have been advised you should and in the process lose your hearts desire. The thing you want more than life. You would sell your soul for.

There is a saying... "'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." Alfred Lord Tennyson. I understand that and I would not have let myself fall in love, I did not want it. Ran from it, but it found me. How it did is unfathomable.

How to recover? Is there recovery? Most likely not. After all, how long can you walk trying to put one foot in front of the other when you are not on stable ground before the inevitable happens? I was not looking for love. Just a regular sex partner. Funny how at times things happen when you least expect them. I get that and every time I think that is what they all say; but seldom mean. I did not expect it. I did not want it, but was powerless to stop it and powerless to walk away from it.

In the end it is just like everything else. It destroys all of you. It will take all that you have. All that you are. How can it happen when there was never a touch exchanged? Like always; the carrot was dangled. The words were spoken. The ones that spoke to the deepest part of my soul. I just pray if there is another life after this; it is kinder, gentler but with clearer definitions for me.

I will not find what I need. I need someone like me. Honest, open, giving, trusting, too trusting. It has been my greatest downfall. I came from a time when your word was all you had. It was how the world judged you. It does not exist anymore. No honor among thieves. That is more the way of it these days.

I am leaving my profile up and active, but now it has to change. Those that have my number know how to contact me; but do not expect any answers. I have none to give anymore. I am stuck in a Pandoras Box. ​One that I created by denying myself and I realize now, I will live in it forever if I do nothing.
6 Comments
WHY IS IT SO HARD? Updated.
Posted:Aug 12, 2021 5:54 pm
Last Updated:Sep 2, 2021 8:20 pm
1001 Views

I know that those of you who know are laughing because you know I would never be confused by a hard anything. I would just take advantage of it if it was present and accounted for.

I am curious as what the people that read my blog, what are your thoughts of what I am referring . Please weigh in, it is important .

All of the comments WILL NO LONGER be immediately posted .

I guess this is sort of like a poll, but it is more of an insight . Thank you those who do weigh in.
4 Comments
Thoughts
Posted:Aug 8, 2021 8:17 am
Last Updated:Aug 29, 2021 8:30 pm
1142 Views

So, you want to know my thoughts? What that picture inspired? What it makes me feel like every time I look at it?

My thoughts are like the ponies I want to run with. They are running wild, difficult to rein in. I feel them like the pony's flanks, quivering, restless, in need of strong hands to ease their excited prancing. I sensed a presence with me as I went to ease my own restlessness. As I laid down upon my bed, surrounded by pillows the presence was still there pressing against me.

As I pressed back into the pillows the sensation grew stronger and I closed my eyes. That was all it took and my mind took off. I could feel hands cupping my breasts as snapshot like images raced through my mind. Image after image flooding me. Arms surrounding me pulling me backwards closer to you.

It's your face I see in those images nuzzled against my neck. Your lips extended, tongue darting out to take a taste. I arch my shoulder towards you and I feel your mouth running down along its edge, little nibbles and then a tongue that quickly follows in their wake. I feel your hands running up and down from my shoulders and back again to my breasts, cupping them, feeling their weight, palming them with featherlite caresses over the tips, exciting them. making them stand erect and that was the first time I came.

You want to know my thoughts of you, now that I am back up and out of bed? I long to go back to bed, just to feel you again.
4 Comments
Trapped
Posted:Aug 8, 2021 7:45 am
Last Updated:Aug 8, 2021 7:46 am
989 Views

Trapped, in a body that is alive and awake. Never really resting. Constantly thrumming. The vibrations echoing, spreading like a fire until it engulfs me.

Trapped, in a mind that knows no solace. Never at peace. Conjuring images of you when least wanted. Those images emblazoned permanently on my brain. I can't rid myself of them.

Trapped, with a soul now twice shattered. So small now the pieces. Broken. Unwanted what that image did to me. Unwarranted the treatment it's received. Unspoken words that were meant to be heard.
0 Comments , 1 Pending
The Key
Posted:Aug 6, 2021 9:17 am
Last Updated:Aug 9, 2021 5:28 pm
1394 Views

Time. Again, I feel it's pull, like the tide; as it ebbs and flows, powerless to stop it. Unable to hold it back, like the passing of time.

It grows shorter now, with each tick of the clock. I watch it rush through my fingers, flowing like water over the sand, taking little pieces of me with it as it ebbs from the land.

How to make you understand what lies deep inside me? Does it matter? Is it worth what it will take to make you see me clearly? Can I withstand the storm it will undoubtedly unleash in me; as I bear my soul and the darkest part of me kept quietly hidden?

The answer lies deep inside. Locked far away from those that pry. I alone hold the key. Is there any worthy, someone like me to be trusted with keeping that one sole key?

Can he throw away his preconceived notions that keep him from following my words as they're spoken? Will he trust what I am saying? Will he have the knowledge to gain what he seeks because I will not always be within reach to give him the roadmap he needs to follow?

The fear weighs heavy like a stone. As I still walk this land alone. My future is unsure, my past but a memory that no one now knows, except for me. Dwindling like the sand that ebbs from the shore with each wave's crash then passing.

The tide crashes upon that stone and changes its shape forever. Each passing brings something new slowly, yet swiftly into view. A new awakening like the dawn. It tells me this journey has been long while it echoes the night siren's song.

Never my own victory song. Signifying it's time to rest. The way I yearn and long to rest my head upon a solid chest belongs to one who possesses the temerity and strength to keep on digging, seeking that one sole key.

Someone has offered to use that key to unlock what's been trapped in me and set it free. He battles against the fortress I built covered in point-like barbs that surrounds my soul. They are protecting all that it holds not only from the prying eyes but from the secrets stored deep inside me.

Like the tide as it ebbs from land taking with it the sand. I too feel exposed like that stone. The rough edges polished smooth like a mirror that reflects the light. But mine is dim and growing duller as I am left to wander, empty, alone without a course, without a home. Tumbling, roiling, drifting on the sand as pulled inexorably from land.

It's a pebble now that slips from the shore like the narrowing gap on a closing door. Losing its size, losing its strength as if it could ever resist the pull of the tide. It skips, it hops and tumbles as it's pulled along being drawn deeper as if by hands into the watery depths.

Like that pebble, my sight growing smaller, lost in the ever widening space that surrounds me. I am tumbling to my end. The burden is mine alone. There will be no knight, no one to break the fortress that surrounds that one sole key. It is not wanted. It is not searched for. It is not desired. I feel it's weight pulling me inexorably to the Sea.

I will find my rest, but not upon his chest. Only I would find comfort in that. So the tide will ebb and take me with it. The sea will open its arms to me and I shall rest. My time is at an end. I will not burden you my friend to give me something you cannot. To hear me, to know me, to trust me.

Because I stood before you with that key, that one sole key you could have used to unlock me. It laid in my hands open wide for you to take if you would have listened when I said take me. Listened to my words, my pleas, my shrieks of agony.

Uncomprehending you refused to give me the things I needed to keep me tied here. You were too mired in yourself to open your mind to something else. A heart so unveiled, naked, exposed. So foreign to you. You could not comprehend the jewel that stood before that one sole man..

How could you know? You never heard her words as they were torn from her soul. You could never judge their veracity because they were never told where your heart and soul could hear them. They were just left as an interpretation you read. What you wanted.

You built an image from what you interpreted. The same as we all draw our own story, images from words on a page. The author may write them; but, the reader interprets and turns those words into what they want them to be. Like all good tales this one comes to an end each interpreting what they will from its telling.

Nothing will be left behind, who she was, how she loved and what weighed heavy on her soul. The tide has come and like time it cannot be halted. Will it's pull finally succeed and take me? It is all a big uncertainty, our futures are not known.

I'll await the next chapter as it is slowly unveiled. A new knight awaits; perhaps, he will be successful in wanting that one sole key. It is uncertain. Will he hear my words that will help him to see, behind the mangled, jumbled missives, what I hold deep inside? His silence frightens me.

I will stand, barely tethered to the sand, feeling it ebb from 'neath my feet, loosening my foundation. I hold my breath and feel my heart thundering in my chest. My words confused, my mind perplexed, unsure of feelings never encountered, but the pull is inexorable.

Unable to stand against its pull. I put out my hand, hoping he sees that one sole key and chooses to take it and unlock me. Revealing the things that are hidden behind mixed up words and actions.
4 Comments
Fake photos and how to verify the photos you are viewing. And a few....err OK words of advice.
Posted:Aug 3, 2021 5:51 pm
Last Updated:Aug 4, 2021 4:27 pm
1157 Views

I have been asking for verifiable cock and pics on my profiles. The reason for this is too many times I have met with a person and they do not resemble their pictures all. As well, when I am considering somebody that has made it through the gamut giving me what I requested and have decided that I am going to set up a meeting, I check their profile first. Usually the same pictures they have sent me are somewhere in their profile. I have discovered something and it just dawned on me what it was.

Being visually impaired, I cannot always enlarge my screen so I choose to view these pictures on the website not the app. When you double-click on a picture when you are on the website it blows it up and puts a white frame around it. Consistently, I was getting a silhouette in the box and not the picture that I was clicking on trying to enlarge. Yes, I can try to scroll; but that requires trying to reach and touch and do things that sometimes my visual impairment does not allow me to do easily; so, I choose just to double-click. If it did not show up, I would just moved on, because we all know how hinky this site can be at times.

I started thinking about it the other and I used it on all of my personal selfie photographs after running across it on several different profiles. All of mine blow up, they have a nice white frame around them and no silhouette. Then I took it to a profile that I knew was much smaller than the picture he sent me. Lo and behold, there was the silhouette. I tried it on another profile where the chest hair and the areolas did not match. Oh geez, one was good. The one that had the cock attached to it? No that was just the white frame and the silhouette of a man.

What I did next was search for it with Google Lens Yes, just follow the directions you get off of the web for image search. Rght click over the pic and up will pop the picture if it is on the www . What it will not show is if it has been taken from another member. The test for that is truly the white frame with the silhouette inside and thank goodness now we have a winner. you want to verify what you are looking at; go to the website and double-click.

I do not know if it works with professional photography. I have not verified that; but, it definitely works with selfies. Hopefully; this will stop the posers and the game players on here. I have been here for months as of tomorrow. I have set up to meet just 0 men. Just over 20 showed. How many actually resembled the photographs that they had? Less than half. Either the photo was much , not of them or they were ppnot the height that they stated they were. I do not know what the men deal with on here that are actually true and seeking someone but that is a pretty poor average. So forewarned is forearmed. Do your due diligence. There are too many wackos walking amongst us these days.

With luck, I will be off here for good; well, I will drop in from time to time but not to or seek, more to touch base with friends. Friends who were too distant to ever consider the possibilities of. They are genuine, caring, human beings that have lent an ear and given sage and wise counsel when dealing with things that were so beyond of my knowledge base.

It is a knight, who honors right now and forgiven a grave error. I am hoping that he is the one that gets off of here. He has awoken something in me, I have never experienced before. We have yet to meet. If it works for the sole fact that he has rescued me, he will have the keys to my kingdom for as long as he wants them.

If this comes to pass, I will not be answering emails all long. It will give the opportunity to be posting memories and maybe a new adventure or two here. One never knows for sure, do we? He is an honorable man that I believe with all my heart and don not believe I will be lead down another garden path.

If I am again, I believe I will take a seat on a bench nearby or the ground if need be and just take in the views, the aromas, the sounds, bask in the sun rays during daylight and the moon's glow during the twilight hours. I will pray for the rain to wash the stench that has been so pervasive over the last months, until I feel clean again; which I am pretty sure will never occur. If by some chance it does, then I will lock myself back up in that tower that I resided in for ½ years, throwing away the key, never to step foot in the mire and the muck and the.dross again. I am not cut for a site such as this. Man has devolved tremendously since I was living in the world of men. The last time I had been even remotely close to dealing with men they respected women. Most treated women with respect at all times. That is no longer the case; as it was in the world that I grew up in.
I
Women are an end to a means these days,something they should never be. There is an old adage that states; treat your like a thoroughbred and they will never turn into a nag. This means you treat them as if they are of the highest value. Like a Queen. Respected, revered. When you treat them otherwise; that is when you are treated like the base creature you are being. One that will never be granted the audience to stand before the queen that you are seeking.

So tighten up your approaches. Think about what the woman has said in her profile and what if anything she is requesting and give it to her. She would not have put the effort into it if it was not something that is important to her.

If you think it turns us on to hear you say; I want you to suck my dick or I want to fuck your mouth or I want to fuck your pussy as your introduction, you are out of your ever-loving mind and will never gain an inch of ground to someone that is worthwhile. If your approach is along the lines of; I would love to be intimate with you or I would like to explore the possibilities with you, what are you seeking? That goes a mile. We all know what we are here for. You do not have to be blatant about it. It is not attractive in the least. Save the explicit talk for when you are together and not in public.

I used to hear quite frequently that women do not put out on this site. That is where you are very wrong. Women on this site do put out. They are just looking for the right person to give it to.

Good luck my dear friends and to the rest, I shall bid you au revoir et bonne chance. ~ V 💋
0 Comments
Between You and Me
Posted:Jul 6, 2021 2:47 am
Last Updated:Oct 11, 2021 10:00 pm
1520 Views
Here's a place you can drop me a note and will remain as the title says...
3 Comments , 21 Pending
As promised the players list.
Posted:Jun 16, 2021 11:30 pm
Last Updated:Jul 28, 2021 1:21 pm
1436 Views

If you want to know who and why just as
0 Comments
Desiderata (All Things Desired) A Poem for a Way of Life by Max Ehrmann
Posted:May 9, 2021 4:04 am
Last Updated:Jul 28, 2021 1:23 pm
2027 Views

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender, be good terms with persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love – for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you from misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
3 Comments
Farewell to trust.
Posted:Jan 20, 2021 7:17 pm
Last Updated:Jul 14, 2021 6:18 pm
2493 Views

You are knocking on that door,
Trying to grasp the meaning,
You aim to hold me still,
Feeling my heartbeat quickly beating,
You sense somewhere deep inside
that soon I will be fleeing.
You take a hold of me
and feel my silent, stifled scream.
Not knowing who or what may be
the demons I am fighting.
Never knowing why,
but you know you must keep trying.
Because you know inside of me
that I am slowly dying.
As I cling to you shrieking, shuddering, crying.
And I struggle doing my best
to keep my hands clenched upon your chest.
Wanting you to hold me tight
make me know I will be all right.
But I cannot voice those words,
they are ones that are seldom heard.

To show a side of me
that is one of pure need,
Not one of want or desire
like I am so often mired.
If I were to speak aloud
it would grow higher.
The things that haunt me
throughout the night
and my waking hours.
with you do I feel calm.
Trusting you feels like a balm
upon my shattered soul.
Once again you know just what I need
to soothe my soul.

You reach for and pull closer,
As you wrap your arms around
and push your leg between my thighs,
While stepping closer invading my space,
I turn my head off to the side
and you lift my chin up to your eyes
you feel my silent sigh.
My fists unclench from your chest
as your hands reach for my breasts,
I feel you between my legs not forcing,
but pressing.withvyour need.
My thoughts are coalescing,
As my terror slowly eases.
You release my chin,
it no longer needs to be trapped,
Within your strong fingers,
to hold my gaze.
Like a match held to my flame,
you ignited me again.
The passion and desires
I see mirrored in your eyes, more so.
With a need so great, brings pain for to see,
Your want to help and set free
release and set free
to be all I've ever wanted to be.
I reached between us touching you
watching as your eyes grow darker, as they smolder,
As if like you, I held a match
and ignited you just like that.

How brightly this passion burns
before the world could not ever turn,
Another , another hour, another moment, in time.
You have imprinted on my soul,
So many wonders it cannot hold
anymore it's overfilled.
But you keep pouring more inside me still.
It's flooding me and overflowing,
running like a river through every fiber of my being.
I will never find another
quite as gentle, kind and giving,
As is standing right before me.
Unafraid, though times so unyielding,
keeping parts from prying eyes.
Those that he tries to deny,
but I am learning.
The more he comforts and calms my soul
that he too cries for rest,
From all the things that plague him
and with that notion, I take motion.
I so want to be that balm that calms,
That which he brings unbidden,
and at times unwanted,
But steadfast, pure and never hidden from me,
pouring from those eyes.
They possess me,
as he truly had the key.
Which was needed to set me free,
As he had always had promised me.
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