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I have few complaints.  

MyUndoing 59F
192 posts
3/5/2015 4:10 pm
I have few complaints.

My experience on this site has been a positive one and the majority of messages I get from men are complimentary, pleasant and respectful. I've been on the site for about 10 mths now and I've never felt the need to block anyone. However, from what I’ve heard and have read many women have blocked quite a few & have a lot of complaints about the way they are treated by men on this site.

Maybe some of those complaints are valid and maybe some of those guys deserved to be blocked but due to my own experiences so far, I have to wonder if some accountability lies with the women.

First off, I think women who have very explicit photos are more likely to get treated differently than those who don't. I think men will respond to them in a more direct manner. And the type of man who is likely to respond will also differ. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with a woman having very graphic images of herself but she also shouldn't be surprised if they are seen as a kind of invitation or pissed when she receives responses like, "I want to fuck that pussy!" or a dick pic in return. Men are visual creatures, after all. *grin* And I’m not saying that men should respond that way. It’s just a matter of fact that some will.

Secondly, (and, again, I am just going by my own experience here) I believe that many (possibly even most) men will wait to see if a woman seems receptive before making any overt sexual advances. Most need an opening. Sure, I get email where some men come right out and ask for sex or send a dick pic before they’ve even said hello but honestly, not too many do. Most will say something flirty or compliment me, or comment either on my pictures or about what I have written in my profile. How I answer that initial message is the key. I set the tone and the pace. If I respond by telling them that I saw their pictures and oooh baby, they made me wet...that's an opening to a sexual advance. If I respond and say that I like their photos and comment on something in their profile....that's showing interest. Most men, from what I've noticed, take their cues from how I respond.

And on the rare occasions when I have received messages that I perceive as too forward for my liking or disrespectful , I just don’t respond. At all. Responding to them even to ‘give them a piece of my mind’ only encourages them to persist. Because it’s still an ‘in’.... and any attention given is better than none at all to these guys.

NJGUY08090 53M
3269 posts
3/31/2015 7:20 pm

You are so on target with your comments and your observations. I could not agree more.

burblesback07 39M
532 posts
3/8/2015 6:58 pm

I love that you see things the way they are and tell them as such........................
Youre an incredible person through and through

easy_going2014 53M
13404 posts
3/8/2015 11:40 am

I agree...

Stupid is as stupid does...

If you live by the sword...

eenie, meenie, miny moe... well, this one doesn't apply, but, I just thought I'd put that out there... given the tone of the blog!!!

Have a great day!

To leave private messages, please use my confidential mailbox at my blog:

Good luck!!!

sokkerman99 51M
153 posts
3/8/2015 10:39 am

I think Keppel is dead on - plus add the anonymity factor, the guys-are-often-assholes factor, and the general lack of integrity by 95% of the AdultFriendFinder community (thank goodness for the 5% of y'all!). For more on that aspect, check out VideoGirl's profile. Here's a hint for those that hate to research:

Inquiries/Offers --- 441
Meet and Greets Scheduled --- 28
Meet and Greet No-Shows --- 25 (90 % no-show rate)

There's a little AdultFriendFinder-reality for ya! lol! Great post, hon!

kcclaire0923 65F  
824 posts
3/6/2015 12:48 pm

Great posts on this subject - I have been a member here since 2011 and I actually have 242 profiles blocked for one reason or another. I have met many in person but the majority of course I have not. The reasons for blocking those online is that they were out of line in their e-mail or IM chat.

The others that I have met in person in a public place, of course, I have blocked because they were deceptive in either their age, their looks from the posted photos on their profile, or I just had a bad "gut" feeling. This is a big bad world we live in so we all must be very selective and choosy. I would not hesitate to do this again if necessary. On the flip side, I have had some real successful meets and actually had 2 pretty serious long term relationships from AdultFriendFinder; sadly, they were both married and I got my heart broken so I will never cross that line again...what WAS I thinking???

-KCClaire {=} {=}

discreteSteve62 52M
2076 posts
3/6/2015 12:31 am

I don't know whether the site still does it, but their ad slogan has been, "Get laid tonight!"

To a horny man gullible enough to believe ad slogans, that suggests that the women on this site are looking for sex (very often true) and that they aren't already overwhelmed by other guys who believe the ad slogan (definitely misguided).

Personally, I know enough not to trust advertising. I know that more honest slogans would be, "Get laid next year!", "Get laid if you settle for leftovers!", "Get laid if you pay for it!", or "Get off the computer and get laid with someone you meet in person!"

For me, a good slogan would be, "Get laid any time, with your hot, horny wife!" -- except I don't need to buy a paid membership for that. Thus I'm only here for the blogs, and the vanishingly small chance of finding a woman who wants to play with both of us.

Anyway, I know that it takes a bunch of polite contact attempts to get even a polite reply, and hundreds of polite contact messages to get a meet and greet that might lead to sex. I could do better in person, even if I didn't just ask my wife. But the site doesn't make money from guys who get laid without the assistance of a sex dating site. The site depends on guys who don't know how to get laid in person -- which only makes their odds worse on here.

Steve_Austin1969 50M

3/5/2015 8:35 pm

MyUndoing replies on 3/5/2015 10:07 pm:
Well, to be fair, I don't believe that the women really want to always be complaining either. See, I understand the other side of it too. It's no easy task to portray oneself as both open minded sexually and also as someone worthy of respect and decency. And it's incredibly difficult to convey on-line.


There are many, male and female, who like to complain and will find any excuse to do so. My experience is those who occasionally complain do it out of frustration over the blatant disregard of their clear and plain statements of preference. And yes, they don't want to always complain, just vent once in a while. I think it is easier to be sexually open with honor and dignity than it is to shrug off repeated overtures of disrespect. It has much more to do with how the message is received than with the messenger or message.

Males are enticed to these sites with a promise that every women will spread her legs for him. They get upset when they discover the Ladies on here tend to be sluts (sexual philanthropists) not whores (sexual capitalists) working for free. Understanding a sexual philanthropist will invest in a worthy cause for the simple joy of giving changes the whole dynamic of this place. But most, male and female, never come to this realization which is the source of much of the complaining on both sides.

As for me, I have few complaints.

My profile, public pictures, videos, and lots more of what rambles around in my head can be found in my blogs. Stop by for a visit and say "Hi" Steve_Austin1969

kzoopair 69M/67F
25849 posts
3/5/2015 7:51 pm

I think a lot of people here are just kind of thrashing around in the dark hoping to grab something worth hanging onto. And often they're folks who feel like they've failed in some way before...but there aren't any courses of study they can take in how to succeed at this. Even though a lot of good advice is sitting here in the blogs, they aren't always confident about how to apply it- explicit as it often is.

I really do like your post- you have compassion.

Become a member now and get a free tote bag.

azriel1970 49M  
29998 posts
3/5/2015 6:20 pm

I think you are pretty spot on. At least in my humble opinion as well.

MyUndoing replies on 3/5/2015 7:09 pm:
Thank you. I'd say more but I'm running out of stuff to add. lol

khuXBFXM8u 58M
10308 posts
3/5/2015 6:10 pm

The victim card is an easy one to play, and some just want to play it over and over and over again.

You didn't comment on my pictures

This was a great, great post by the way!

Find pleasure in giving pleasure

MyUndoing replies on 3/5/2015 6:46 pm:
Agreed. That and the 'Pay Attention to Me' card. <- although, that one, I sometimes play that one. heh heh I'm doing it right now, in fact.

I did comment on a pic of yours...just now.

lomileage5 64M
10256 posts
3/5/2015 5:37 pm

good point. men are indeed visual and prone to becoming aroused quickly. a woman posting extremely explicit photos creates an image of being "fast and easy" to the simple logical mind of men (and Mr Spock)

MyUndoing replies on 3/5/2015 6:28 pm:
It is true that some men will draw that conclusion about a woman who has explicit photos. I think it is unfortunate because it may be a completely wrong assessment.

I don't actually see anything wrong with explicit photos. We each have our own idea of what is and isn't sexy or sensual. However, the more explicit a woman's photo is, the more likely some men will not see any necessity to treat her with respect.

8343 posts
3/5/2015 5:27 pm

When you consent to having a profile on a site like this, you have to assume that you'll get some lewd and lascivious messages.

Common sense, especially for someone in their mid-fifties.

I hope.

"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur

MyUndoing replies on 3/5/2015 5:49 pm:
I assume that there are all types of people on this site so yes, I am not at all surprised or shocked by the lewd or lascivious. That doesn't mean I feel any obligation to respond to those types of messages.

But, like I said, the majority of the messages I get are neither. So, I have no complaints.

tboogie398 45M
388 posts
3/5/2015 5:24 pm

Sooo true!!!
Seems as if you noticed the reality of,.. rather than the common consensus.
I do believe the problem is the mix message most members profiles give off. in most cases the pic don't match what the introduction says,. Good thing I read first,. but this site is a big contradiction for the most part. The willingness to read rather than look could solve a lot of issues,.. Hard but fair,.. Sad but true
your post was definitely a good read,.. thanks

Is my point valid,.. I dont know,..depends where your head's at when you read it

MyUndoing replies on 3/5/2015 6:08 pm:
I think pictures often appear to contradict the words in a profile. But I think it's also very difficult to try to convey who we really are in only pictures and the written word. So most show a side of themselves in photos and another side of who they are in what they've written. We are all complex beings.

Oblio2014 61F
30 posts
3/5/2015 5:01 pm

Well said.

MyUndoing replies on 3/5/2015 7:09 pm:

Han54boat 67M
11667 posts
3/5/2015 4:42 pm

Well, that is what I working with. Just trying to meet woman is like pulling teeth.
Oh, well, it really does not matter. I just blog and read stuff here.

Cum to my blog and respond. Have a great kissing fun time.

MyUndoing replies on 3/5/2015 4:58 pm:
Yes, lots of guys have that same complaint. It is easy for women to meet men; not so easy for men to meet women. But then we are quite outnumbered by you guys so have the luxury of picking and choosing.

Steve_Austin1969 50M

3/5/2015 4:32 pm

Spot on excellent.

My profile, public pictures, videos, and lots more of what rambles around in my head can be found in my blogs. Stop by for a visit and say "Hi" Steve_Austin1969

MyUndoing replies on 3/5/2015 7:07 pm:
Well, to be fair, I don't believe that the women really want to always be complaining either. See, I understand the other side of it too. It's no easy task to portray oneself as both open minded sexually and also as someone worthy of respect and decency. And it's incredibly difficult to convey on-line.

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