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Dances With Words
 
BLOG DESCRIPTION:
noun
1. a website containing a writer's or group of writers' own experiences, observations, opinions, etc., and often having images and links to other websites.

2. a single entry or post on such a website:
She regularly contributes a blog to the website.

verb (used without object), blogged, blogging.
3. to maintain or add new entries to a blog.

verb (used with object), blogged, blogging.
4. to express or write about on a blog: She’s been blogging her escapades for almost a year.
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On being single and sexually liberated
Posted:Aug 27, 2016 9:22 am
Last Updated:Nov 27, 2017 5:04 pm
9695 Views

I’ve had some truly wonderful and reciprocal sexual experiences. However, I’ve also had some which were not. It seems that some men assume that if I’m single and sexually active I have not only automatically consented to sex but I have consented to it any which way; that being treated like a piece of meat is just part of the package I’ve agreed to.

“Oh well you were looking for sex so you should have known this is the way it goes” or “If you didn’t expect to be treated this way, you shouldn’t have put yourself out there.” Seriously? I’m expected to modify my behaviour but men don’t have to be accountable for theirs?

Consenting to sex seems to provide an excuse for some men to take advantage of or sexually degrade women without being held responsible. In this “hook-up culture” it’s become a prevalent way of behaving.

There’s the guy who seems to be a gentleman yet disappears after I tell him I’m not ready to have sex on the 3rd date.

There’s the guy I go home with for the first time who within 5 minutes of a little kissing is shoving his dick in my face expecting me to go down on him.

Or the guy I’ve occasionally slept with, who one night tells me he just “isn’t into it” unless it’s without a condom or anal, and then, despite my protests, proceeds to shove his unwrapped cock in and pump away thinking I’ll just get so lost in the moment I’ll stop asking him to put one on. I have to physically push him off and out.

Or the lover who shows up drunk at my door needing a place to crash for the night, and when we go to bed he starts pushing my head down forcibly. I resist, and he pushes harder. I shout “No” and he keeps pushing. Finally, I manage to wrestle my head away from his iron grasp and ask him what the hell he thinks he’s doing. “Oh, I thought you liked it rough. I thought you wanted that.”

Or what about the guy who promises to return the favor if I go down on him first (which then of course he doesn’t) or the guy who holds my head down when he cums and forces me to swallow. Or gag. Or both.

Or the guy who I invite over for dinner and a movie who halfway through the movie, unzips his pants and pulls out his cock.

Or the lover who, when I open the door, is standing there with two of his buddies, and tells me that tonight’s my “lucky night,” and that I get to have 3 guys at once. And when I finally convince him that it’s not going to happen and his buddies leave, still expects that I’ll have sex with him that night.

I’ve experienced this sort of thing time after time. I’ve said “No” and have either been made to feel guilty or been pressured until I went along with something I didn’t want to do. Is this what consenting sex looks like? Is this what being sexually liberated in our society looks like? Does being a single woman who enjoys sex mean I have to constantly defend my body and my morals or otherwise men will revert to treating me as nothing more than a collection of holes for their own use? Is this acceptable? Is this the price a woman has to pay if she chooses not to be celibate?
16 Comments
Wash Your Box
Posted:Apr 2, 2015 5:08 pm
Last Updated:Aug 18, 2016 11:32 am
13482 Views

That's the name of a package you can send to a woman anonymously to inform her that her nether regions aren't smelling of roses. The package contains a moisturizing cream soap and a loofah. And a note that says 'You smell bad and you should feel bad.' Quite the gag gift, eh? Great for a despised ex, maybe.

I was disappointed that there wasn't one for men called Make Your Wiener Cleaner.

heh heh
10 Comments
Ode to the Dick Pic
Posted:Mar 28, 2015 10:01 am
Last Updated:Feb 22, 2016 7:29 pm
14456 Views

I know that many women complain
And say that dick pics are all the same.

But seeing one ain’t like seeing them all.
Cause some dicks are big and some are small.

Some are thicker while others are thin
Yours might be cut while his has foreskin.

So I look at the pics and yes, I compare
Sizes and girth and how much pubic hair.

Truely, some dick pics are so thought provoking
But others, well honestly, you’ve gotta be joking.

The limp, flaccid member pic is incredibly weak
‘Cause I can’t imagine THAT making me shriek.

And those who think their elephant cock cannot fail
“Not a chance in hell, bud. Go fuck a whale!”

I’ve seen balls tied up looking angry and red
And pics of dicks being given head.

A penis sandwiched between two cans of beer
How many did you drink before that shot, my dear?

And the dick with the piercings, what did you foresee?
That I’d like metal barbells scraping inside of me?

I’ve seen a funny face drawn on a dink
But it’d be funnier still in permanent ink.

Few, though, attempt that kind of unique
They just post a plain dick for me to critique.

Yes, I take note of all the dick pics you’ve used
None make me want you but they keep me amused.

So keep ‘em coming boys, but please know that most
Women will judge every dick pic you post.
16 Comments
I have few complaints.
Posted:Mar 5, 2015 4:10 pm
Last Updated:Aug 20, 2016 4:10 am
15994 Views

My experience on this site has been a positive one and the majority of messages I get from men are complimentary, pleasant and respectful. I've been on the site for about 10 mths now and I've never felt the need to block anyone. However, from what I’ve heard and have read many women have blocked quite a few & have a lot of complaints about the way they are treated by men on this site.

Maybe some of those complaints are valid and maybe some of those guys deserved to be blocked but due to my own experiences so far, I have to wonder if some accountability lies with the women.

First off, I think women who have very explicit photos are more likely to get treated differently than those who don't. I think men will respond to them in a more direct manner. And the type of man who is likely to respond will also differ. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with a woman having very graphic images of herself but she also shouldn't be surprised if they are seen as a kind of invitation or pissed when she receives responses like, "I want to fuck that pussy!" or a dick pic in return. Men are visual creatures, after all. *grin* And I’m not saying that men should respond that way. It’s just a matter of fact that some will.

Secondly, (and, again, I am just going by my own experience here) I believe that many (possibly even most) men will wait to see if a woman seems receptive before making any overt sexual advances. Most need an opening. Sure, I get email where some men come right out and ask for sex or send a dick pic before they’ve even said hello but honestly, not too many do. Most will say something flirty or compliment me, or comment either on my pictures or about what I have written in my profile. How I answer that initial message is the key. I set the tone and the pace. If I respond by telling them that I saw their pictures and oooh baby, they made me wet...that's an opening to a sexual advance. If I respond and say that I like their photos and comment on something in their profile....that's showing interest. Most men, from what I've noticed, take their cues from how I respond.

And on the rare occasions when I have received messages that I perceive as too forward for my liking or disrespectful , I just don’t respond. At all. Responding to them even to ‘give them a piece of my mind’ only encourages them to persist. Because it’s still an ‘in’.... and any attention given is better than none at all to these guys.
14 Comments
“Warning Signs” : The Fifth Virtual Symposium!
Posted:Feb 21, 2015 7:15 am
Last Updated:May 12, 2015 6:23 pm
17168 Views

“Sleep paralysis” is a phenomenon in which a person, either falling asleep or awakening, temporarily experiences an inability to move, speak or react. It is a transitional state between wakefulness and sleep, characterized by complete muscle atonia (muscle weakness). It is often accompanied by terrifying hallucinations (such as an intruder in the room) to which one is unable to react due to paralysis, and physical experiences (such as strong current running through the upper body).” - Wikipedia

Has anyone experienced sleep paralysis? I do although the occurrences are rare (usually when I am very over-tired). After a few episodes, I discovered that I get a sort of warning signal just before they happen. At the onset of this state, I hear a buzzing sound...and know that I have to wake up (it’s a struggle because the paralysis has already begun). I am also aware that if I ignore this signal, I will be in for a bad experience.

If I am successful and do wake myself, I get up, turn all the lights on and remain awake for the remainder of the night because again, experience has taught me that it will reoccur if I try to go back to sleep. When I have been partially successful, I manage to wake when I hear footsteps coming toward me or the sound of glass breaking.

I have had two extremely terrifying experiences, however; one before I understood that the buzzing was a warning signal and the other when I chose to ignore it. This is something I wrote before I knew there was an actual term for what I was experiencing:

Asleep but awake.
High pitched electrical hum.
Followed by a state of terror.
Footsteps, slowly moving toward me.
I cannot move.
I cannot speak.
I cannot see.
But I can hear and feel.
The small demons laughing.
And crawling onto my bed.
Pinning me down for their master.
Of purest evil.
I can feel his oppressive breath over me.
His minions spread my legs.
Til just before their breaking point.
My hips scream in pain.
They know and laugh.
The searing cock.
Blisters me.
As it forces entry.
My weeping ignored
The underlings
Bite and pinch
In excited frenzy.
I strain for consciousness
For I will surely die
If I do not wake
10 Comments
Fix it if you can!! I dare ya.
Posted:Feb 18, 2015 3:42 pm
Last Updated:Feb 22, 2016 7:29 pm
15971 Views

Without changing the placement of the words, use your grammar skill to edit the sentence so that it makes sense:

That that is is that that is not is not that that is not is not that that is.

Whoever gets it right first.....can dare me to do something back. But make it something doable....you know, like dare me to take a particular kind of photo for your eyes only. And I will. *grin*
10 Comments
AdultFriendFinder Blogger Poetry Smackdown - Unholy Matrimony Contest Entry
Posted:Feb 11, 2015 4:32 am
Last Updated:Aug 20, 2016 4:06 am
16859 Views

Unholy Matrimony

It’s true
That in this marriage
I am but a slave

The reward
It’s what I strive for
Yes, that is what I crave

I’m chained
And oft gagged so
Thoughts I can’t express

The sweat
Beads on my brow
A struggle to impress

The tasks
Expected of me
Begin at crack of dawn

The pain
Inflicted on me
I think I can’t go on

I’m fucked
So hard and frequently
It make me want to sob

Unions
Few are like that but....

I’m married to my job!
7 Comments
There's a reason.....
Posted:Feb 5, 2015 2:59 pm
Last Updated:Aug 20, 2016 4:18 am
16860 Views
....why pandas are an endangered species.



*grin*
10 Comments
The Lie We Buy Into
Posted:Jan 30, 2015 4:11 pm
Last Updated:Dec 7, 2017 7:37 pm
18056 Views

“Love hurts.” We’ve heard this often. It’s a lie.

I love. Without expectation. Without having to own the object of my love. Without a need for a return. I love in a moment or moments. It is not a constant. I love with the understanding that I am making the deliberate choice to love and I make that choice often..... for the purely selfish reason that it feels good to love.

Love is only painful when it becomes a currency.
11 Comments
Email response woes?
Posted:Jan 11, 2015 4:24 pm
Last Updated:Feb 28, 2015 9:16 pm
19559 Views

Reading blogs and responses to blogs, I have noticed there is a common request coming from men asking that women reply to their email even if it’s to say, “Thanks but no thanks.”

Many of you say that you’ve made the effort to read her profile then have taken time and made the effort to write a thoughtful, polite and sincere message. And I get it. It’s work and it’s frustrating to go to the trouble of composing something specific to an individual profile.

I’m not going to go into all the reasons why women don’t respond but there are many. What I am going to do (although I probably should not be speaking for all women) is give some advice, take it or leave it as you like.

First off....expect nothing back. By all means, you can hope that she’ll respond but just don’t expect it. Write to her because you want to. Without any thought of a return on your investment. It’ll save you a lot of disappointment. And it might be small consolation but I can almost guarantee that your message has at least been read by her, regardless if she answers.

Next bit of advice: Keep it short. 3-5 sentences after a hello. There is no need to write a novel. Don’t invest hours of your time. If she is going to be interested, she will be within the first line or two. She may not reply...for any number of reasons that have nothing to do with whether she is interested or not. Your message is one among many ....easily lost in the shuffle. So if she hasn’t responded... wait. Give it a few days and try again with another short message (and don’t just say the exact same thing in the 2nd as you did in the first). Still no response after the second? Well, you might try again in a week. It’s possible that number 3 might be the charm and persistence *could* pay off. BUT, my view is that if you’ve gotten no answer after a second message, THAT is your answer.

Because no response is a response. No response is exactly the same as “Thanks but no thanks.”

Again, I don’t mean to presume to speak for all women. Who knows, I could be dead wrong about this. I’m not but I could be. Heh heh

I wish I could respond to every nice message I get. I’d like to. Because I do appreciate them. And I imagine there are other women who feel the same as I do.

I should add that this advice will in no way help you in getting laid but it might save you some time and lessen some of the frustration.
11 Comments
The Numbers Game
Posted:Jan 10, 2015 9:38 am
Last Updated:May 12, 2015 6:26 pm
19161 Views

Traditionally, it has been men who have had more sexual experience and partners because it was so long accepted that men were driven by their desires and that decent women were chaste. Pure nonsense, in my opinion but, effectively ingrained into our collective psyche, even today.

So, what are your thoughts on this?

Men: Is a woman’s sexual prowess is a factor when you hook-up? Does it play a role in how you view her? Is it something you care about when it comes to having a serious committed relationship? If so, why? And if a woman you meet has had a few more partners or experiences than you’ve had, does it have an effect on you? What if she has had many more than you?

Women: Do you feel as though you have to downplay your past sexual experience to men? How important is his sexual history to you? Do you prefer that he has more experience than you do? Whether more or fewer than you, would the number of partners or experiences he had matter to you when it comes to having a serious committed relationship?
4 Comments
Cinnamon’s Challenge – 25 Things About Me
Posted:Jan 8, 2015 9:00 pm
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2015 3:01 pm
19045 Views

It definitely was a challenge.

1. I am terribly left-handed and can never remember which side of the plate the silverware goes.
2. I smoked pot for the first time when I was 40. With my .
3. I have a pet lovebird named Marbles who plays basketball.
4. Breads and cheeses are my weakness.
5. I was in a commercial once.
6. I am a klutz and always have a mystery bruise somewhere.
7. My nickname in high school was Twiggy. Not because I looked like the model but because I looked like a stick.
8. I’m addicted to French Vanilla coffee creamer and panic if I run out of it.
9. I was a widow at 26.
10. My favorite colour is yellow.
11. I think happiness (any emotion, actually) is ultimately a choice.
12. After a little research, I recently discovered that I suffer from sleep paralysis. Weird and terrifying nightmares. Luckily, not too often.
13. I am very directionally challenged. Even with a compass, I’d still get lost...just more north.
14. I don’t like asparagus.
15. I have a pretty good singing voice and can carry a tune.
16. I am very organized except for in the room I paint in. It’s generally a disaster. But I’m not organized because I’m anal. I’m organized because I’m lazy and don’t want to spend time looking for stuff.
17. I try to live by these 3 rules: I don’t lie, I don’t steal and I don’t hurt people intentionally.
18. I live in yoga pants.
19. I love daffodils.
20. I’ve had more (new) sexual experiences in the last 6 months than I’ve had my entire life.
21. I kayak.
22. I’m a speed demon when driving. And the music is usually blaring.
23. I would probably lick a trash can on a dare.
24. I was the first born grandchild on both sides of my family.
25. I appear together, strong and confident....I think it would surprise the hell out of people who think they know me to find out that I’m just muddling though without a clue what I’m doing half the time. Heh heh
5 Comments
Why am I here? An answer to an often asked question.
Posted:Dec 10, 2014 7:43 pm
Last Updated:Aug 27, 2016 9:34 am
21187 Views

This comes after reading a couple of other blogs: Why are you here & The next sexual revolution (sorry .... I know I should include the poster's names)

First I need to tell you why I joined to begin with. I thought joining this site would offer me the opportunity to freely explore my sexuality and some of my fantasies. I believed that I could talk to and meet more open-minded people here than on regular dating sites.

After a few months, I realized that there were some great people on this site. Intelligent and open-minded. And the few experiences I've had led me to discover things about myself that I was unaware of previously. In many ways, being here opened up a whole new world to me. And it has made me even more open-minded and accepting of others. And at this stage of my life, it has also been incredibly good for my ego to be still seen as desirable and attractive.

But I have also discovered some down sides. There are dishonest people here as there are anywhere. Many aren't as open-minded as they profess to be or think they are. Double standards between men and women still exist ...even here.

Why do I stay? I think it's entirely possible that I could meet the 'right' person...someone who has the same mindset as I do about sex. Ultimately, I'd like to be in a relationship (although not necessarily the conventional kind) and share experiences with a partner. I also stay because I see an opportunity to raise awareness about women and their sexuality; that women are as sexual as men. There are fewer women than men on this site not because 'nice' girls don't like sex but because society has told them that they shouldn't. Or at least that they shouldn't be too vocal about it.

And women have learned that exhibiting their sexuality can bring harm to them. So the majority don’t. Think about it.... (this applies to heterosexuals).... the worst fear for a man is that a woman might ridicule his sexuality but the worst fear for a woman.....is that she’ll be brutalized or even killed for hers.
8 Comments

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