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Observations and thoughts on sex from a person who is an unwilling sideline spectator.
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This is not fair
Posted:Feb 1, 2020 12:34 pm
Last Updated:Feb 1, 2020 12:35 pm
874 Views
Let show you a few things:









All of these users have published their handle for a social media site that starts with a I found the last on the main page in comments on featured pics. The last one even spells it correctly. I know there are more but I did't feel the need do an exhaustive search.

So why is it when I tried adding my own my profile it got deleted? I thought I'd even post it somewhere that only paying members could see it so this site would be getting it's revenue. Nope. This site just hates me I guess.
0 Comments
A friendly word of advice
Posted:Jan 21, 2020 4:45 pm
Last Updated:Jan 26, 2020 6:12 pm
1958 Views

I am like everybody else here in that I want as many profile views as possible. I accept that a lot of people who view me aren't necessarily someone I'm interested in. I know I end up looking at a lot of profiles I don't match with simply because the main photo interested me.

But I have a line that I hope people will respect. That line is if you can view my entire profile (aka paying member here), and you can read what my preferences are, please do not contact me if you do not match my preferences. I hate having to tell people who should know better that I'm not interested in them. I don't want to hurt people's feelings by dashing their hopes that I'll make an exception for them.

The exception to my rule would be if you just want to talk non-sex issues, like sports or politics or whatever go ahead and message me. We can be friends, just know that we will never be sexual partners.

Oh, and just a reminder that I am a standard member, which means I cant respond to flirts and can only reply to gold members if they have the "standards can contact me" option added to their membership.

Thank you for reading. Now go out and have a sex filled day.
5 Comments
What's more useless than a tit on a bull?
Posted:Oct 17, 2011 7:48 pm
Last Updated:Jan 15, 2020 5:31 pm
5843 Views

AdultFriendFinder's mobile version of their site of course! Hello again. Long time, no type. Seems I cant seem to think of stuff to write about unless I'm ticked off at something. And today, it's the mobile version of AdultFriendFinder.

I've been using my smart phone to access this site on a regular basis for quite a while. And it gave quite an adequate rendering of this site. But sometime last week I logged in via my phone and was treated to the mobile version. It is unacceptable on so many levels!

1. No way to return to the full version of AdultFriendFinder. Type in the full www address, you get redirected to mobile. This is unacceptable. I'm not running an old Samsung Hue that could barely render HTML, I'm on a real smart phone with an actual web browser for cryin' out loud!

2. The "who's viewed me" page displays a single page of 24 views, and that's IT! They are not even necessarily the most recent, just the ones that will show up on the first page of the full site. It also does not tell you where the viewers are located, meaning you have to waste a profile view to get that info.

3. The listing of online member matches cannot be customized. You cannot filter out members based on desired distance or anything else. On the plus side, at least this page tells you where and how far from you each user is.

4. No way to post status updates or blogs. I have not even seen where one can view blogs on that version.

5. No listing of who has hotlisted me recently. (not that the number is very high, it's just the principle of the thing)

6. No way to access groups.

I'm sure I'm missing some stuff. But these are the most important inadequacies that need to be addressed if the mobile version is to become useful to me once again. About the only thing I've really been able to do is leave it logged in so as to garner more profile views.
1 comment
Only a convent has less sex
Posted:Jul 15, 2011 9:26 pm
Last Updated:Jun 6, 2020 12:20 pm
5901 Views

Went with my family the last few days to a well known hotel/waterpark combo in Traverse City. It's the only one there, so I'll let the reader figure it out. Anyway, my wife was going to be busy at least some of the time at a conference so I thought maybe at least I'd get to meet someone interesting. I thought wrong. Two things in this equation end up equaling no nookie. My , and everyone else's . Face it, adults are not generally interested in visiting a waterpark mid-week unless it is to entertain their . I suppose if I had an older that didn't require supervision every nanosecond it might be different, but it just wasn't meant to be.

Truth be told, while I was there the eye candy wasn't all that plentiful anyway. There were some real hotties, but not too many. There was a mom there with a few and another one in the oven wearing a fairly skimpy two piece. That may have drawn a bit more than just my attention that afternoon. There was also, unfortunately a woman in the 450lb. range that felt that a suit that barely held in her boobs was a great idea. It even got the attention of my 3 year old, who remarked "That lady's boobies really grew!" Out of the mouths of babes!

So, no booty at the hotel, and the wife was on a serious bitch rampage, so asking her to watch the for a while while I got some air was never gonna fly. So the only fun I got to have was the squeaky clean kind.

Oh well, there's always next week.
0 Comments
Oh no, not the fakes again
Posted:Jul 7, 2011 8:28 pm
Last Updated:Jan 15, 2020 5:34 pm
5585 Views

I'd rather not be writing about this, I'd rather get into my sob story about having to put my down over the holiday weekend. At least then I might garner a sympathy screw from someone out there. But this issue just doesn't seem to go away. And to tell you the truth, it's making me think that maybe I don't need to be around here anymore.

On my current new cupid matches page, there are 10 profiles with full frontal nude, hot, young girl pics including faces...all from Howell, MI. Population a little over 9200. It's simply statistically impossible for that many girls to be online here fitting that description from a city that size. I tried making a joke about this on my status a few days ago, it disappeared without a trace. I don't know if the system just had a brain fart, or if someone at AdultFriendFinder doesn't like being called on the fakes here. I suppose if this post goes live I'll have a better idea. And if any of the ladies I'm referring to are actually real people, show me some photo proof like I have on one of my pics and I'll take it all back about you.
1 comment
Boy are the fakes out in force tonight!
Posted:Jun 27, 2011 8:01 pm
Last Updated:Jun 6, 2020 12:20 pm
5566 Views

I recently posted a status on my profile saying that if a profile name had 2 or 3 random numbers after the name, chances are it's a fake. (In case you were wondering, my numbers are definitely not random, one could just look at my age and guess that is when I graduated HS)I'd also like to add a few other telltale clues. Because I swear these guys are just getting dumber every day!

If a standard flirts with you, but does not show up in your list of people that viewed you, then they've got to be fake. I've had five of these in the last hour. I've never been able to hit the flirt option outside the person's actual profile page without being directed to the order form page.

Profile headers that don't seem to grasp proper American English if the picture is of a white female. I'm talking about gross errors in syntax and spelling that a native would never say.

On a related note, if the header does not accurately describe the profile picture. I saw one pic of a lovely, fit lady and the header said she was a BBW.

If a profile is not looking for the understood purpose of this site. This is not match dot com. We are not generally looking for soul mates. If someone says they are, they'd have better luck elsewhere.

An amazingly hot full frontal nude profile photo. I have a hard time believing that a woman of that caliber and willingness to bare all would need to go online to find a sex partner. Not to say they don't exist, but if this point teams up with any of the above, it's not looking good.

Oh, and if you're gonna try to do a fake, at least put an attractive fake photo up. (see previous point) The one that spurred me to write this rant flirted with me without viewing my profile, had the number 688 at the end of her name, and had face and boobs visible. Only problem? That 688 might not have been random, it may have been her WEIGHT! It almost looked like the thong she was wearing was photoshopped on afterward. I'm not sure one can buy one of the rack in that size anyway. Now try to fap with that image in your head!

Goodnight all!
0 Comments
Alright, has the bar changed in here or something?
Posted:May 10, 2011 10:44 am
Last Updated:Jan 26, 2014 4:23 am
5618 Views

As one can tell, I am a standard member. But I usually have plenty of people looking at my profile to allow me access to other member's profiles. So it was quite weird this morning as I started clicking on profiles only to be re-directed to a page wanting me to upgrade to paid membership. I just don't get it. As far as I can tell, my page views have not dropped off. I've had about 200 in the last 3 days, and close to 900 over the last two weeks. There have still been standard members viewing my profile today, I just can't reciprocate.

All I really know is there was a three day rolling average that a member had to meet to view profiles. But I have no idea what that average had to be, or if it has just gone up and I've not found out about it.

Anybody have any idea what's going on? Because I sure as hell don't.
0 Comments
How far are people willing to go for sex?
Posted:May 9, 2011 2:05 pm
Last Updated:Aug 29, 2011 7:14 am
5903 Views

For me, that's easy, not very far at all. Ideally I'd be doing it with my wife, at home. But since that's not been happening, if it is more than a half hour drive from either my Midland house or my Houghton Lake house (or if you are along the route between the two), I really don't want to bother. But I was talking to a couple people today, and it got me to thinking about all the profile views I get from the far reaches of the internet. In just the past 30 days, I've had views from Gibraltar (as in Straits of, not Gibraltar MI ) , France, Palm Springs, CA, Copenhagen, Denmark (That one was two ladies, I wouldn't mind that trouble in Denmark!), Kingston Jamaica, and Costa Rica. And I know in the past that I have had views from Chile, New Zealand, Germany, and I think maybe India. I don't think these people are actually serious about finding someone like me, but one just can't be sure. It's a sad fact that there are southeast Asian countries known for sex tourism. Wouldn't be sad except that many of the 'attractions' are sex slaves held against their will. The Netherlands is also a hot spot, but my perception is that it is mostly voluntary there.

So, how far would you go for a booty call? Just a booty call. I'm guessing it won't be the other side of the globe.

**UPDATE: Just had a view from a 2F couple from Sydney Australia. I think their address was 42 Wallaby Way. Best part is they were in their early 20's. I'd so throw my jumbo shrimp on that barbie.
0 Comments
A cock is a cock, but are all cocks created equal?
Posted:Feb 23, 2011 12:48 pm
Last Updated:Jan 15, 2020 5:38 pm
5914 Views

Sometimes I am amazed at the minutiae that gets the gears turning in my head. Yesterday I was having a conversation with a guy on here. He happened to ask how long my dick was. I answered him truthfully, but the exchange got me to thinking about how much variety is out there when it comes to wangs.

I know in my profile I state I know what a cock looks like, so don't bother sending me a picture of yours. To an extent, that is true. With a few exceptions, we guys come equipped with a penis that has a shaft composed of erectile tissue wrapped with vein rich skin, a bulbous head on the top that may or may not have a foreskin still attached, and hole at the top for urine and semen to escape. So yeah, if you've seen one 'ordinary' dick, you've pretty much seen them all.

But the ways that nature can put those basic ingredients together are quite diverse! We always seem to be comparing lengths and girths. And those dimensions are important. But how about proportionality, cut and angle? Dicks can be short and thick, long and thin, and everything in between. We all know about the legendary John Holmes on one end of the spectrum of length. But there are also the unfortunate few inhabiting the other end of the spectrum. If you really want a laugh, head on over to a website called crazyshit. (Absolutely a NSFW website, but then so is this one. )A recently added video there is of a guy with a dick that is at best 2" long fucking a cantaloupe. There's another picture on there of a guy's penis that is so short, it is practically only a head. Poor guy just has the functional equivalent of a clit! Plus, I've seen many member pictures on here where the head of the penis is dwarfed by the shaft. Not a lot of people saw the live action Mario Brothers movie, but if you did, and remember the Goomba characters with the huge bodies and tiny heads, you'll know what I'm talking about. Whenever I see one of these tiny headed dicks, I think that something must have gone wrong with their circumcision. Blood flow must have been impaired to the head at some point. I think I have yet to see a prick picture where the guy has a huge head compared to the shaft, but I'm sure they're out there somewhere.

Speaking of circumcision, the foreskin itself seems to vary quite a bit. I've seen pics with it looking like a turtleneck that someone hasn't managed to get the head through yet, and ones where the head is visible even if not erect.

One variation that often baffles me is the angled penis. This is a dick that bends right or left part way up the shaft or maybe just makes a big arc from base to tip. Do these guys need to seek out women with crooked vaginas? Because I know when my dick is hard, the last thing I want is someone trying to bend it where it doesn't want to be bent. Downward pointing erections, while also peculiar to me, could be overcome with imaginative positioning.

What's my penis like? You'll have to meet me to find out for sure. But I would categorize it as a 'textbook cock' It is one so average in length, width, and proportionality of head to shaft, that it could have been used as a textbook diagram showing a circumcised penis. About the only thing special about it (besides being attached to me of course ) is that it comes with it's own tiny natural piercing on the bottom side just below the head. There are a couple of enlarged pores about 3/8" apart from each other that are somehow connected to each other under the skin. I can stick a typical sewing needle through one pore and out the other and it really doesn't hurt.

There you go, six paragraphs of thought spurred on by a simple question about my cock. And I didn't even get into all the things that guys will do to personalize, even mutilate their junk. That's best left for another day, like when you want to start a diet and need to lose your appetite.
1 comment
Obviously he hasn't been to my house
Posted:Feb 7, 2011 6:53 pm
Last Updated:Jun 6, 2020 12:20 pm
5857 Views

AdultFriendFinder does not allow links to external sites. But if you go to the CNN homepage and look up the blog by Dr Sanjay Gupta, you will find an article entitled "Does a clean kitchen lead to more sex? The art of 'chore-play'" You've probably already guessed the premise of the article. Women are more likely to have sex with their partners if they help out with household chores. Evidently, my home is what they would call in statistics a 'data outlier'. I'm the one that ends up doing the cleaning, the dishes, most of the laundry. I should be gettin' a little somethin somethin every freakin night! Right? Nope. Hence my presence on this site.

So, for the ladies out there, no offense, but if I ever manage to hook up with you, the only cleaning I intend to do is licking the whipped cream off of your nipples.
Thank you for your time
0 Comments
Are the fakes even trying anymore?
Posted:Feb 1, 2011 8:40 pm
Last Updated:Jan 15, 2020 5:39 pm
5970 Views

Was doing a typical "who's online" search just a few minutes ago. A few pages in I noticed the following profile names
Saturninam17013
twa51593
Malorie84788
Breannv46047
Amandar73369
dunc08237
Maryellene68097
Marissam80457
Celesteeg00556
Kashaa24334
Colleen79692
Anneay13044
andreeWilc53409
Ericav80506
Almost all of them right next to one another, and ALL of them claiming to be from Harbert, Michigan. A tiny unincorporated town just up the Lake Michigan shore from New Buffalo. Wiki puts the population of Harbert at somewhere below 1600. My friends, I don't even see that many people online at a time from here in Midland! What are the odds that 14 attractive young women willing to post nude photos of themselves would all log in at the same time from a town as tiny as Harbert? All I can say is if I'm that lucky, I'd better be buying a lottery ticket tomorrow.
2 Comments
To all my loyal viewers
Posted:Jan 21, 2011 7:37 pm
Last Updated:Jan 21, 2020 4:48 pm
6081 Views

I'm not talking about the ones visiting this blog, it's too new for that. I'm talking about viewers of my profile. You know who you are. You look at my profile on a near daily basis. Got to be somewhere around twenty or more of you. The funny thing is you're almost always either way too far away to hook up with me, too old, or both. I'm not saying stop! Feel free to keep looking! I'm just curious to know why you do it? Lack of information makes my imagination go crazy, and I've imagined some really weird things about you people because you won't fill in the blanks for me. Some of you are premium members but I have never been contacted. I even try to have the IM program running when I can, but no pages. I know this is supposed to be a sex site, but I don't need to have sex with all of you (not that it wouldn't hurt ), a good conversation about other stuff can be quite enjoyable! We could bitch about the bitter cold weather here in MI or lament on the latest sorry excuse that is our Detroit Lions. I suppose that last one might fall into the realm of masochism, but I digress.

Bottom line, I don't get out much. I'm more comfortable chatting online than elsewhere anyway. Please just keep in mind I have a weird sense of humor, and I almost never intentionally mean to offend people I talk to. So if you start to feel I'm doing so, let me know so I can clarify that whatever I said was a joke, sarcasm, or whatever.

Thank you for your time, and we now return you to your regularly scheduled viewing.
1 comment

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