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My Second Act
Welcome to my blog! Definitely better than my first Act!! You'll find my plot points, some some good lines, and so-so acting in this Second Act! Hopefully it's worth the admission ticket!! Thanks for stopping by!
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Musings on my Second Act
Posted:Oct 11, 2020 2:32 pm
Last Updated:Jan 12, 2021 11:33 am
"Life is both fucked and fuckable."

He laughed when I wrote that.

My take o.n the iconic Dickens opening line of “A Tale of Two Cities”, updated into the modern vernacular because it is a more perfect summation of my life these last few months. I mean, 2020 has crept up on al.l of us unawares, but it creeped
up &then sucker-punched me right in the gut.

For once, I’ve got a secret and it’s my secret keep or tell. I’ve kept others’ secrets, often for years, but this one? This one is mine t.o do with as I will.
So, I have t.o write about it, talk about it, blog it, vlog it, even wrote a song about it.

yeah, and b.a.d. poetry, I’ve written some really bad, drunk poetry.

This is my journey now; this road I’m meandering down.
I’m inviting you come along for the ride. I’ll try stay the course between those painted white lines on the highway; between fucked and fuckable, and hopefully discover what the new normal looks like for m.e.
13 Comments , 1 Pending
I don’t know how I did it, but I did…
Posted:Jan 19, 2021 2:26 pm
Last Updated:Jan 23, 2021 4:27 pm
You would think a former dancer could be more graceful than this but I wasn’t. At .
Had help my hubs with a project. He’s turning our carport/garage into a music room as rooms in our house are too small for instruments and recording stuff he’s accumulated over years. ’s okay, he built a She Shed [more like a Sh*t Shed] house my vintage finds that I’m selling.

He needed climb onto my parents’ huge 1940s oak desk in order to reach wall where he needed my assistance. When I came out help him I noticed he had used our wood step stool. Actually, ’s a plant stand that we sometimes used as a stool. He had propped against desk; kind of like a staircase top of desk.

You know that still small voice that plays -so-subtly in back of your mind? one that intuitives listen a regular basis? I wish mine would scream in my ear so I would hear and heed warning. warning was, “get real stool, get real stool!” I ignored and tried gingerly climb “steps”.

As I tried reach last step, I somehow lost my balance. My hubs grabbed my arm from somewhat behind me and said, “I gotcha!”. But he didn’t have me fully. plant stand/stool wobbled underneath and went out from under . hubs helped ease my descent but my right leg ended tangled and caught between stool and desk; I ended my back, I think. happened in slo-mo, but I think I said my favorite word at least times as I headed for floor!

I couldn’t move until my hubs freed my right leg. I thought for sure I’d broken my ankle. But as I slowly rolled over and righted myself, my right leg was fine. I noticed my left pant leg looked wet for some reason. “Was floor damp?” I thought. I felt floor. was cold, like concrete , but not damp. I pulled my jeans leg reveal a small scrape that was bleeding. “I’ll be okay”, I thought. But bleeding was dark, and began pooling around my anklet sock.

I hobbled into my house and couch. My followed and stood at ready help as he could. I never bled like that before. just kept coming. I had look away as I was cleaning wound. I could feel myself getting lightheaded and I knew I was pale. Shock was trying set in. I kept taking deep breaths as I worked clean . We don’t have real good nurses at our house, included. I managed dress wound and kept my leg elevated that night, but sleeping was difficult: hurt like hell and I am not one sleep my back. [other things; yes. Sleeping; no]

Yesterday, I checked the wound. was like a puncture wound. Kinda deep, but small. And still bleeding. Once again, cleaned and dressed . And told that I think I needed go urgent care. He drove there and had wait in car. I thought I would end with stitches, but no. I did end with a tetanus shot and antibiotics. doc said I might need have some silver nitrate stave off bleeding if her less drastic moves don’t work. That’s an OUCH I’d like avoid! , and watch out for blood clots!

That’s two days out of my life so far.

So, how’s your week going??
A Final Goodbye to 2020
Posted:Jan 17, 2021 7:55 am
Last Updated:Jan 18, 2021 11:08 am
I know this has been a year top years. ’s been strange, ’s been morbid, ’s been terrifying. was a year simply get through for of us, numbingly so; with thing look forward was rollover a new calendar year. Historians will look back as a watershed year. year that everything changed; year that nearly everything stopped. We’ve welcomed 2021 with open arms, ready to embrace it with hope tinged with more than a little bit of trepidation.
My personal journey of 2020 has also been strange; it’s been weird; it’s been sad; it’s been terrifying; it’s forced some exponential growth internally; and forced letting go of some parts best left behind. In of my friend, Poetry Man, choosing see my glass as half full, here’s what I will carry forward from last year in this:
Had not been for this year,
I never would have met you
Had not been for this year,
I never would have reawakened a side of long lost and tossed aside
Had not been for this year,
I would not have discovered new parts of
Had not been for this year,
I never would have seen myself as others do
Had not been for this year
I never would have allowed myself be vulnerable
Had not been for this year
I never would have opened my heart
my husband
Had not been for this year
I would not have healed friendships
And relationships in a new way
Had not been for this year
I never would have ventured out
share my story
Had not been for this year
I never would have a story to tell
Whatcha reading?
Posted:Jan 15, 2021 12:26 pm
Last Updated:Jan 21, 2021 3:53 pm
2021 is certainly a year of hope [the vaccine]; of change [a new administration]; and of resolves. I am purposing this year read more after a year of spending way too much time in front of a little screen.

I am going back to the analog style, with pages and cover in hand. In fact, I am reading three books simultaneously. Here’s a quick at what I find interesting and why:

Men In Love: Men’s Sexual Fantasies: The Triumph of Love over Rage by Nancy Friday.
I picked this book up at a thrift store one day. Written in 1980, the author had already written several books on women’s sexuality, most famously My Mother/Myself.
This volume looks at hundreds if not thousands of responses from men, sharing sometimes for the first time in written form, their deepest, darkest secret fantasies. The author takes from a sometimes dated psychological perspective on sex, and sexual tendencies. Each chapter explores a different category from masturbation to BDSM and so much more! I thoroughly enjoy reading the fantasies from men; but not so much her attempts at Freudian explanations of their desires.
The Ethical Slut by Janet W. Hardy & Dossie Easton.
This book was given to me by someone I met from this site is new the lifestyle like me. is the third edition in 20 years of this “primer” the polyamorous lifestyle. This book dovetails beautifully with Men In Love, because it modernizes the psychological aspect of the above mentioned book into a matter of personal choice and exploration. The updated version also focuses on the newer generation’s perspectives on sex and sexuality that I find refreshing as it expands my own.
Bag Man by Rachel Maddow.
I was a young high schooler when Nixon was in office. I remember when Agnew resigned as Vice President, when the Watergate scandal broke and Nixon’s eventual resignation. I lived through it, but didn’t understand or follow it.
Reading the story in detail and the comparison to the times we are in now just reminds me that is “nothing new under the sun”. I also like Maddow’s style, ’s easy read and looks historically at both sides of the political spectrum during a tumultuous time much like where we find ourselves in now.

So, what about you? Whatcha reading? Digital or Analog?
10 Comments , 2 Pending
Episode IX: Venturing Out: Mr I See You!
Posted:Jan 1, 2021 11:56 am
Last Updated:Jan 17, 2021 6:27 am
OY! The word gremlins are at it again! Read the first comment for the full story!
Thanks for stopping by!

By this point I had been conversing online with folks on a regular basis. Some were my avatars guiding and prepping me as I stepped into the lifestyle, mentally, at least.

“Maui Wowie” had been in the lifestyle for quite a while. He was the first one that I told my full story to. He wrote messages in a mini essay form that were both humorous and inquisitive and I did the . He relished my words, wanting hear every detail of my adventures and my cast of characters. He even laid odds on I would with first! [He was right on with his predictions, by the way]. One thing “Maui” told me that stuck with me was the comment that people in the lifestyle, and on this site would flow through my life like water so I needed to steel myself for that. That thought was hard to take because I had grown accustomed to hearing from them, most on a daily basis. But as I lay in bed in the morning, after saying the usual good mornings and sexy pic exchanges with my friends, I talked myself back to reality and told myself that was – I wasn’t looking for any further complications than that.

I ventured out fairly slowly. Again, 34 years of monogamy and suddenly being set free explore with no questions asked was kind of daunting. It required a huge paradigm shift on my part; one where I would flip flop between “Wheee! and What the f**k?!!” at least ten times per day. I assumed TOG [Torso of the Gods] would be my first adventure out in this world. We talked/texted pretty much daily; all times of the day. But Covid and life’s obligations certainly puts a crimp in plans.

So, he was not my first.

My very first meet and playmate was Mr. ICU. He had sent brief messages to me on AdultFriendFinder for about a month or so telling me to text him. Of course that’s frowned upon on the site, and the brevity of his comments turned me off. Besides he threatened to report me to the authorities as a fake account if I didn’t respond. Go ahead, Dude! I had no skin in the game [ha! yet], so fine with me!

One Saturday, I was bored and decided I’d respond to his request. I texted him a hello. He responded nicely and after a few texts he asked for a picture and my . I told him my and his reply was, “Holy Shite! That’s you??! No need send a picture I know exactly you are!!”

Well, that made me smile!

He went on say that I was his “Holy Grail” [Now how’s a refuse that??]. He said I was pretty much everything he was looking for: height-wise, age-wise; eyes and smile that he liked. Well this sounded promising! He wanted me go on an app where we could talk, etc. Once I did that, he immediately contacted me for a video chat. He was very anxious get this show on the road! I had never skyped or zoomed before so I felt really uncomfortable. Texting is still somewhat anonymous; I feel more comfortable with that. After a couple of awkward conversations, we agreed meet.

was a brief meeting, minutes or so, but my heart was in my throat! I was so nervous meet him; his straightforward style in and media was a bit off-putting at first. But, I figured I had dip my toe in the pool sometime!

I stepped out of my car as he drove up. He was smiling as he got out of the car. was an immediate embrace greet each other. He was handsome, with piercing green eyes, and strong muscular arms.

He held my hand out an arm’s length, asked me twirl around…I now know what a cow on an auction block feels like! Apparently, he was satisfied with “Bessie” as he wanted see me again.

That was really hard do. We were in full lockdown at that point. We met once at a local park walk and talk further about what we wanted get out of this. We stopped to sit and snuggle on a picnic table right beside the walking path. We ignored the people walking by until one lady was rubbernecking while we necked.

She called out my . UH-OH!

I recognized her voice immediately. I was panic stricken as I abruptly pulled away from Mr. ICU. He stared straight ahead looking out at the ocean away from her. I walked away from the picnic table at a good social distance and said a polite “Hello, how are you?” We exchanged a couple of pleasantries as her feet kept moving, Thank God! She kept walking and gawking till she was past our scene. Mr. ICU exhaled with an “Oh My God!!” With that, I laughed and said, “Yeah, I have a feeling that’s what she’s saying right now!” I went on explain that she was my “Church Lady”. I knew her from the last church we had attended.

She knew me. She knew my hubs.

I think she must have prayed in tongues all the way home!
Welcome 2021!! TBT New Year
Posted:Dec 31, 2020 8:37 pm
Last Updated:Jan 17, 2021 11:17 am
Wishing all a Happy, Safe and -filled New Year!

A friend just sent this pic from back in the day. I'm toasting the day when we can dress up and paint the town RED again!
@#$%! Sweary Christmas 2020 !%$#@
Posted:Dec 18, 2020 1:42 am
Last Updated:Dec 26, 2020 10:58 am

My family sent me this pic last week. It’s from my niece. It’s one of her neighbors’ decorations. I think it was the outsides that matched my insides last week.

We were off to such a good start too. We got our8 boxes of decorations out of storage, and the tree up the very day after Thanksgiving. I am not a Black Friday shopper. Not even online. I did that once…nevermore! Nevermore! However, this was a record for us. It was the first year we ever had the tree up and décor sprouting around the house the very next day after Turkey day; I mean before one could say I’m stuffed on stuffing, we had that sucker up and ready to go, and the stockings were [ahem] well hung with the utmost care.

Except...two whole strands of lights on our pre-lit tree wouldn’t light. No problem. We’ll just get replacement bulbs for them. We did, but they didn’t, They wouldn’t light. At all. Huge dark spots in the middle of the tree, it looked naked but not in a good way.

Now, we could have simply bought new strands and just added them to the tree. We could have…but, we both agreed it would look, well, messy and weird. No problem, he says. We’ll just remove the pre-lit ones and get some more new ones.

Have you ever removed lights from a pre-lit tree? Any idea how many lights are on a pre-lit tree? It’s a lot like the 1000 Faces pattern I’ve been finding lately when thrifting vintage Kutani china. They have a thing for the number 1000. There is a belief that if you create 1000 paper origami cranes within a year’s time; at the end of a year, not only would it grant you health and healing, but the gods would grant you your wish. Yeah definitely a thing for 1000.

Every light has a clip of some sort. Those clips are green, The very same green as the pre-lit burned out tree. And just like the eternity symbol there is no beginning, there is no end. Like the journey of a thousand miles, one just must begin.

So we did. The hubs took the taller parts of the tree; however, I had the very top because it was easily removed and I could sit down to work on it, slowly…very slowly, and being of short stature, I had the bottom section. The clips blended in so well, I couldn’t see them. It all had to be done by Braille; feeling my way on a branch with eight or so clips on it. Sometimes my hands were enough to remove the clips; other times we had to result to wire snips. As we worked over the next few days, our tree devolved into a paltry Christmas bush with the lights looking much like the picture above. My language devolved even more so.

Each time I had to work on it, I would try to get into a meditative state, I’d think of it as a Zen garden, and I was just raking rock. Enlightenment would come soon. Instead, I would walk away from the heap after 20 minutes or so, swearing and wondering why do we go to all this trouble anyway?

I noticed we were almost halfway through December with our living room still looking a disaster. And I could never find the end of a strand until the very end. Did you know they will splice three strands together at times? No beginning. No end. Only a very long effing middle that trailed off three ways! Isn’t that a fire hazard?

It took taking the tree down to its stand before we were ready to build it back up. The Holiday pilot light had just about gone out on the inside of me. I didn’t care about decorating for the holiday. My fingers had lost all their prints from blindly reaching into branches, twisting and pulling on clips prying them loose with whatever means possible. The floor was covered in clips and fake needles.

It was my 1000 origami crane project, I wanted to see it through. It took the better part of two weeks t.o finally see it finished. But we did it. Tree is up. Lights are on. Its decorated with my favorite vintage ornaments. And It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas!
Episode VIII: The Ongoing Adventures of MIlf & Gilf: Women of a Certain Age
Posted:Dec 13, 2020 1:26 pm
Last Updated:Dec 28, 2020 12:07 am

I just don't trust those word stealing gremlins, so see the post in the first comment below!
Thanks for the read - Comment below or Whisper in my mailbox!
Mwah! {=}
Episode VII: TOG and The Bistro
Posted:Dec 7, 2020 9:46 am
Last Updated:Dec 28, 2020 5:09 pm
See the first comment below...
Thanks for stopping by!
Mwah! {=}Busti

Interlude: The Naughty Pics
Posted:Dec 6, 2020 11:24 am
Last Updated:Dec 26, 2020 11:18 pm

Ha! I knew that title would get your attention!
But I must post this before I post the next episode…

See the first comment for the whole story!
Thanks for the read!
Episode VI: Role Reversal
Posted:Dec 3, 2020 11:20 am
Last Updated:Jan 21, 2021 9:35 am

See the first comment below for the post. Thanks for the read!

Was going to try to show my 'still life' but it shows up bigger than life on the post!] How do you hide photos on this blog?? Still learning
Episode V: Carrying On and Peanuts, Peanuts, PEANUTS!!
Posted:Nov 25, 2020 8:51 am
Last Updated:Dec 31, 2020 2:39 pm
It really bothers me to have the word stealing gremlins loose, so will post in comments as well for the work around. Thanks for the read and following my story!

You know how browsing on the internet can become a time suck? How Facebook beckons for all to like, comment, or emoji all the happy posts from friends…food posts, pet posts, we’re so in love posts, etc., etc. ad nauseum?
Fuck Facebook!
I gained a new time suck that week. AdultFriendFinder was my new go-to every morning with that first cup o’ joe. I was almost late for my class that day because there were so many penis pics, sigh…and so little time! I responded to a few on here that reached out to me with more than a two-word comment or dick pic. [I’m sorry, but “wanna fuck?” just doesn’t cut it for me].
I went in to the office to get my music when my dear friend greeted me with a whispered, “I met someone!”
“Gilf” took over my job when I retired at the beginning of the year. We had been friends for about 20 years and tho’ she had been a stay at home mom all those years, I knew she would do well in my position. She returned the favor by hiring me as a free-lance teacher of dance and art as no one else could fill those shoes adequately. I can’t lie, it was a rocky transition at first: balancing a friendship with a work relationship is hard, but I knew she was the right person for the job. The previous year of me scaling back, and her asserting her ascending position was rough on the friendship. Add to the mix the stress of her marriage beginning its descent to ending-well, suffice to say, nerves were fraying a bit.
Her comment that day fast-tracked our healing however.
“You did? Ohhhh, grrrrl, we gotta talk!”
We met after her shift was finished that very day for drinks and downloads. She filled me in on her re-acquaintances: Facebook had reunited her with a former lover. He was her Rock n Roll, Harley riding “Friend with Benefits” before such a term was coined. Now, married, he struck up conversations with her as if the years and life had not separated them at all. When she was done sharing her good fortune, I swallowed hard and screwed up the courage to tell her about my screwed up life.
Soooo, here’s what’s new in my life…
With that I brought her up to speed with my story. I could see her anger rise up for the hubs. I was okay with that.
I went on to explain my new activity and how admiring eyes wanted to know more about me. [Wait! That’s “inquiring minds”, isn’t it!] Those kind ogles and compliments did a girl good, I must say! They really helped me get through those initial, very dark days. I was surprised at the response on the site and it felt good to know that maybe I could be considered attractive to some. It helped me to be better grounded; no longer insane; less obsessed with the hubs’ goings on now. [well…kinda]
Who needs counseling? Just go on a hookup site, lol!
Even more helpful, I now had a friend I could confide in. What a relief that was! Gilf is a good listener, too. She took in the whole story and then after a short silence, she said, “Good for you! I say, Go for it! If you and the hubs are in agreement, then, Do it!”
“We’re not getting any younger, right?” I said as I raised my glass.
At that, we clinked our glasses and said, “Till next time!”

How about you? Do you have someone you can talk to about ‘the lifestyle? Do any of your closest friends know?

To link to this blog (bustinout20202) use [blog bustinout20202] in your messages.

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