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Which would you consider more intimate?  

candylicker_6t9 59M
89 posts
9/26/2019 8:47 am
Which would you consider more intimate?

Having a debate with Gf. She prefers company male company and has several friends she spends time with( not having sex but hanging , talking and sharing etc.) , I like have sex, not necessary have a close personal relationship, just some hot freaky fun.(Don't care if we meet each other's family)
Sex is more personal to me.
Being too close personally is more intimate than having a fuck buddy
Both are equal, I dont want my significant other to do either.
I don't care if they do either


candylicker_6t9 59M
317 posts
9/26/2019 8:50 am

Me personally, i think the friendship is more intimate, she says it's sex, but we would like to know how others feel about it.


PAWAPh 44M
13651 posts
9/26/2019 9:15 am

*Voted*

Jack


dogslife2live01 68M
2135 posts
9/26/2019 9:19 am

well if you believe sex is opening your body to someone, and intimacy is opening your soul to someone
and it is possible to fuck someone with no feelings for then but to open your true self to someone takes total trust
then intimacy, sex, and friendship are different creatures but
intimacy holds the strongest bond between people

there is a world of difference between insanity and stupidity


BiggLala 48F  
28956 posts
9/26/2019 9:22 am

I didn't vote, FYI. As I see it, you're both 'right'. There is emotional intimacy and there is physical intimacy. Therefore, I don't think we can consider one type of relationship "...more intimate..." than the other.

I tend to be a literal person and I start with the definitions of words/terms as the basis of my perspectives. The definitions of 'intimate' is:
Adjective - 1. closely acquainted; familiar, close; and 2. private and personal
Noun - a very close friend

So for her, she's intimate with her female friends since it sounds like they share personal and private details of their lives with each other. For you, you share physical intimacy with your sexual partners, i.e. you get close, private and personal on a physical level with them.

This is just my opinion since you asked.

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candylicker_6t9 59M
317 posts
9/26/2019 9:36 am

    Quoting BiggLala:
    I didn't vote, FYI. As I see it, you're both 'right'. There is emotional intimacy and there is physical intimacy. Therefore, I don't think we can consider one type of relationship "...more intimate..." than the other.

    I tend to be a literal person and I start with the definitions of words/terms as the basis of my perspectives. The definitions of 'intimate' is:
    Adjective - 1. closely acquainted; familiar, close; and 2. private and personal
    Noun - a very close friend

    So for her, she's intimate with her female friends since it sounds like they share personal and private details of their lives with each other. For you, you share physical intimacy with your sexual partners, i.e. you get close, private and personal on a physical level with them.

    This is just my opinion since you asked.
That's why i left options of, they are both equal and i disapprove of both or don't care either way. I tried to include all possible options. We are not looking to be right. Just wondering how others feel about the topic


BiggLala 48F  
28956 posts
9/26/2019 10:30 am

    Quoting candylicker_6t9:
    That's why i left options of, they are both equal and i disapprove of both or don't care either way. I tried to include all possible options. We are not looking to be right. Just wondering how others feel about the topic
Yeah, but see? In my complex brain...neither of those options 'fit' my perspective to vote. Remember, I said I'm literal 😜 (and often overly detailed oriented 🤦🏽‍♀️ ). So, one, I do care, sometimes too much...depending on the nature of my relationship with someone.

Two, and more importantly, why would I not want my husband/bf to have friends (male or female)? That's how I interpret this, "Both are equal, I dont want my significant other to do either," since you're asking about "both" sexual partners and friends. Perhaps you intended the meaning another way?

Anyway...I think not wanting your s/o to have friends is an insecurity at the highest level. I understand in the topic of having other sexual partners, but that depends on the two people agreeing what their sexual relationship will be. But...no platonic friendships? Red flag! 🤔

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candylicker_6t9 59M
317 posts
9/26/2019 11:09 am

    Quoting BiggLala:
    Yeah, but see? In my complex brain...neither of those options 'fit' my perspective to vote. Remember, I said I'm literal 😜 (and often overly detailed oriented 🤦🏽‍♀️ ). So, one, I do care, sometimes too much...depending on the nature of my relationship with someone.

    Two, and more importantly, why would I not want my husband/bf to have friends (male or female)? That's how I interpret this, "Both are equal, I dont want my significant other to do either," since you're asking about "both" sexual partners and friends. Perhaps you intended the meaning another way?

    Anyway...I think not wanting your s/o to have friends is an insecurity at the highest level. I understand in the topic of having other sexual partners, but that depends on the two people agreeing what their sexual relationship will be. But...no platonic friendships? Red flag! 🤔
I see your point. But its not " no platonic friendships" It's that she wants no female friends, just male. Somehow thinking that men are not as messy as women. Not true at all, but her perception. I mean, i have platonic females, but I don't seek those type relationships with females over males.

And as far as the I don't care. I guess i could have phrased that a bit different. Not that "I don''t care" but, more as long as we are secure in ours I am not concerned nor worried or threatened what they do with someone else.


BiggLala 48F  
28956 posts
9/26/2019 12:06 pm

    Quoting candylicker_6t9:
    I see your point. But its not " no platonic friendships" It's that she wants no female friends, just male. Somehow thinking that men are not as messy as women. Not true at all, but her perception. I mean, i have platonic females, but I don't seek those type relationships with females over males.

    And as far as the I don't care. I guess i could have phrased that a bit different. Not that "I don''t care" but, more as long as we are secure in ours I am not concerned nor worried or threatened what they do with someone else.
Okay...gotcha on the 'I don't care' option (given how you expanded, I'd be mostly inclined to choose that one). To be clear, though, I was asking if you meant something else on the "both" option.

But...dude, now you've confused me. I DON'T NEED HELP BEING CONFUSED, DARN YOU!!! 😂😜 Okay, you said in your OP that your girlfriend prefers "female company", that she spends time talking, sharing, etc. with. However, now you say she wants no female friends, just male friends. I was going to ask what you meant in saying "company" or "friends", etc., but maybe that's just not important anymore (see? detail oriented, lol...clear details matter).

It's all good, though. I like this post, so thanks for posting it. I just don't want you think I'm being argumentative or difficult...I'm really not...it's just my brain...blame it on my brain.
*runs off to get aspirin*

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candylicker_6t9 59M
317 posts
9/26/2019 12:25 pm

    Quoting BiggLala:
    Okay...gotcha on the 'I don't care' option (given how you expanded, I'd be mostly inclined to choose that one). To be clear, though, I was asking if you meant something else on the "both" option.

    But...dude, now you've confused me. I DON'T NEED HELP BEING CONFUSED, DARN YOU!!! 😂😜 Okay, you said in your OP that your girlfriend prefers "female company", that she spends time talking, sharing, etc. with. However, now you say she wants no female friends, just male friends. I was going to ask what you meant in saying "company" or "friends", etc., but maybe that's just not important anymore (see? detail oriented, lol...clear details matter).

    It's all good, though. I like this post, so thanks for posting it. I just don't want you think I'm being argumentative or difficult...I'm really not...it's just my brain...blame it on my brain.
    *runs off to get aspirin*
Oops, That must have been a typo or an autocorrect. It should have said prefers MALE company. I have corrected it. Should have proofread it better.


BiggLala 48F  
28956 posts
9/28/2019 6:53 am

    Quoting candylicker_6t9:
    Oops, That must have been a typo or an autocorrect. It should have said prefers MALE company. I have corrected it. Should have proofread it better.
Ahhh, gotcha.

Still...I mentioned having male and female friends in my first comment, so I don't think my answer changes. Your girlfriend has emotional intimacy with these friends, their gender doesn't matter...in my opinion.

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