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do people really fall out of love if they were in love to start  

coupleluvssucknd 58M
10 posts
6/29/2019 12:02 am
do people really fall out of love if they were in love to start

this is kind of a sad blog. it involves me & a former partner Scott. when i first met Scott he was a tag along with a mutual friend,Chad. Me &, then partner Mitch were hosting a Memorial Day party & cook out. There was ample supply of party supplies that kept everyone up, going & really horny. As the night progressed, our friend Chad called & asked if it were ok to bring someone. I, of course, said yes it was totally fine by me. Didn't really care what anyone else thought or said. An hour later as i was sitting on the couch, the front door opens. Chad was followed by a much shorter man than he was dressed in grey shorts & white wife beater shirt & flip flops. Really, the first thing that captured my attention was the fact that he had nearly the perfect round, fat little ass i'd ever seen.
My friend Justen was in the kitchen & Chad, Scott went over to talk to Justen. I was sitting on the couch with my then partner who was a sloppy drunk who also was addicted to Tina & Xanax. I told asked him " did you see that guy who came in with Chad? Look at his fat, round, little ass. Im gonna fuck that ass before sun rise."
I socialized with another guest for a couple hours & since no one had bothered to introduce this absolutely stunning man, Scott, to me i got up went into the kitchen where he was standing with Chad & a few others. I looked into his striking winter arctic blue eyes & welcomed him into my home, told him my name was Joe. He said he was Scott & as he leaned in for the kiss i was hoping he would, i held back for a second so i could find his scent that is unique to him behind his ear. it captivated me like nothing i had ever experienced. When our lips touched each others, it was like i had just been zapped by 220 volts. Scott shuddered the same as i did. Our hands immediately were on each others ass. My heart soared & i almost passed out. Had his hands not been on my ass, i'd have hit the floor. i didn't know what was wrong with me other than i'd been hit with some kind of electrical charge that wasn't visible to the others.
Scott & I went to living room to talk & cuz I wasn't sure i could continue to stand. We talked about our lives before that night. I told him of my long line of failed relationships that keeled over because of lack of communication & after effects of a nightmarish childhood of violent, perverse sexual abuse that pisses off anyone who happens to find out or i finally can tell & also the horrific death of J. We talked until daylight started to show. i hadn't fucked him all night,but we hadn't gone to sleep yet so my promise to mitchell could still happen.
i got up & fed the cats & put on coffee. He followed me into the kitchen shortly & as i made coffee he slid in behind me & had his hands all over me, but concentrated on my ass. that is when i told him i was gonna fuck his ass that night. he grinned & said i sure was going to do just that. our party continued all day & into the night. Mitchell sketched out & had me as armed guard patrolling the property. i didn't see anything, of course. best part was that Scott was with me. i felt so at ease with him & i couldn't see my life go on without him as part of it. well, as the night wore on mitchell decided that we were gonna have a 3 way with scott. i ws totally ok with that. we showered & got ready for all possible outcome. as we started mitchell was already so wasted that he was literally falling asleep sucking my dick. there was no way he was gonna get hard anytime soon, so we just sat out of reach until he fell asleep.
Scott & i went into the living room sat on couch & kissed like i had never experienced. he nibbled on my bottom lip, as did i. my dick was hard as a rock, so he started sucking me like a mad man. i was so turned on by this beautiful man that in seconds he had me ready to blast the back of his head out. i had to stop him cuz i needed to own his sweet fat round little ass. well, i did. for 4 1/2 hours i fucked my baby boy in every way i knew how. as i was really a life long bottom, i am sure i was awkward & somewhat clumsy. i eased him up so i could make sure that he was going to get off cuz i was right there myself. i only had to really put my hand on his impressive dick before he shot his load halfway across the room. i was so turned on my him that his ass working my dick while he shot off made me blow what seemed a gallon into that beautiful fat round little ass. we both burst into tears because it was so intense & i already knew that i was in love with him.
i lay on the couch & sobbed like a baby, as i am right now. i'd only loved one of my 6 partners this much & i was afraid of what i was feeling. my first partner was taken from me by a drunk driver in a stolen car. he crushed the tiny tin can car we drove for a concert in a different city. fucker had to have been doing 80+ mph. smashed the front end into the passenger area. i was knocked out for who knows how long. when i came to J was trying to wake me up, crying cuz he thought i were dead & I was bleeding a lot from a severe head wound. there was a sort of metallic smell in the car. i couldn't really see cuz the blood had flowed across my eyes. i wiped with my t-shirt & could see some better. i was horrified that the steering wheel was pushed so far into the car, the firewall was smashed against the seats. J was 6'2, 250 lbs foot ball team captain & quarterback. he was all twisted up & said his legs were crushed. i heard something dripping on a metal can & though that it had to be gasoline dripping & we had to get out fast as we could..i heard people outside the car saying 911 was called & on the way. relieved some i concentrated on J. he told me that he was really hurt badly & was afraid. i asked of what. he stated that he was afraid to have to be leaving me. i was so horrified that i couldn't really say anything. there was that damned dripping again. he told me what it was. his blood dripping onto a mt dew can that was under the seat.
i started to scream & like always calmed me down by taking my hand in his & started to tell me things to get me through this wreck, financially later in life, that i should find someone else, to not mourn him cuz he was honored that i had been his for the almost 5 yrs we had been a couple, that he loved me with everything in him. he leaned over in that crushed tin can & kissed me. that was the very last thing he did. he had stopped breathing. i was trapped in tha goddamned car. i couldn't do anything. i was screaming when the rescue squad got there. the side windows had shattered. i could see a crowd had formed & the ghouls where watching it all. watched that wonderful man die. i heard one of them say that J was dead & that they should work on getting me out of that car. i refused to allow that until they got him out. one of the crew pleading with me to let them help me. i fought with all i had left in me & they finally got J out, laid him on that fuckin street & covered him with a sheet. i heard the waterfall sound of his blood rushing out of the car when they got the door opened & used jaws of life to get him free. they had already started to do my side to get me out. i was sobbing like a the entire time. i had lost the love of my life cuz he didn't want to let me go to that concert alone.
all this was going through my mind as i sat on the couch sobbing cuz i knew i was in love with a man i had just met & fucked like a maniac. scott asked i i were ok & why was i so upset. i told him the story about J. he hugged me until i stopped crying, which is exactly what J had done when i could tell him of my childhood. had scott been born 2 yrs later i'd have sworn that it was J reincarnated. i was so afraid & confused. i couldn't tell scott how i felt cuz i was sure that there was no way he could ever feel the same about my old ass. i was 18 yrs older than him. an entire generation older. how could he ever love me? scott was crying too. so i asked why. he told me that i had touched him in places that no man ever had. i thought i had hurt him with my wild man fucking. he said no, but felt like i had reached his heart & been making love to it, which frightened me even more.
i had failed at 5 other relationships for several reasons. one being the massive amount of guilt i carried from feeling i was responsible for him being in that car. took 8 yrs of physical abuse cuz i though i didn't deserve any better. my<b> punishment </font></b>for that beautiful man losing his life so i could be safe at a concert of band he didn't really like. guilt & my silence,conditioned into me from my abuser, is what destroyed those relationships. i already knew that i would need to communicate with scott on an honest & open level. if we did that there was no way anyone or anything could come between us. we, also, agreed that to avoid the cheating pitfall that we would include other men into our sex life as a way to keep it fresh & lively, but we'd only do so as a couple. no one on one, ever, with anyone. also, that we'd stop any sex going on in our play room if one or the other had to step out for any reason, the only way things could go on is if the one leaving said to carry on, which i did often.
after we'd spoken about the parameters of our proposed life long relationship, we were a week in & sitting on the couch smoking & i heard the beginnings of the Boston song Amanda. I've loved that song since i was 12. know it by heart & can sing it on demand. i already know the last line & knew that is exactly what i felt for scott & was still afraid, but i sang that song to him from my heart. we both fell apart when i sang "Im in love with you". last words of that song. i was in love with him with all that makes me who i am. he told people he talks to about us that he'd kill a mother fucker over me. since the Amanda song day, i told anyone who i talked to about us that i would step in front of a bullet or danger & die so that he could live. a huge difference there. hence my title for this blog.
we carried on & seemed as if he was happy with us as i was. 2 1/2 yrs in, we invited a guy named ryan to be our guest for the night/weekend we started our night as usual. lots of dick sucking. after 2+ hours, i left room to piss & get us all something to drink. i had started vid camera when we started our sex night. for got it was on and it made vid 5.5 hours long. a couple weeks later i was watching it with out really anything on it of interest. i saw myself get up & go out the room. almost instantly scott was on this guys dick like an in heat cat. he stopped, got off the bed quick stepped to the door to see my progress with the drinks, went back onto that guys' dick, to the door, on the dick, to the door, on the dick & stopped his infidelity. i had wondered if he did shit like that all the time. so when he finally got out of bed at 3 pm i asked if he wanted to watch the vid i'd accidentally made. he declined, so asked if there was anything on it he was ashamed of. he, of course, said no. so i cued up the part of his infidelity. when he saw that i had it on vid, he started shouting at me. i just went into bedroom & closed the door. soon enough i could hear him crying. i hated it, but i wasn't the cheater, by our agreement of only as a couple. he freely admitted to 2 others that i know about. christopher & nick. 2 others i strongly suspected. steven & chosen. the suspected 2, when asked what had gone on while i was asleep, he got angry, defensive & started to shout at me about trust & blah blah blah is what i heard. i'd learned after 2.5 try how to tell if he were telling a lie. same reaction when asked about suspected guests activities when i passed out. learned later the when he lies that suddenly there is a sour smell around him,like sour milk or dirty feet. both?
it wasn't long after ryan, chris & chosen that suddenly his out look on us had drastically changed. the totally up front, honest, direct, no holds barred talks we'd had up to the point of his actions with ryan stopped. he came to me & said that he couldn't do such any more after 2 1/2 yrs. that sent up a red flag & thought through my head that he'd done something that he was ashamed of & lied about it. not telling something you should is a lie of omission in my book. used to be so in his too. but we never had one of those talks again & now he lives in athens. me in alto.
he finally started to work for uber/lyft after not for nearly 5 yrs. he went from working days when you can actually make a living driving to night time work. all that's out at night is prostitutes & drunks. it got to where he wasn't coming home after his important driving job, though, never once did he hand over a dime to help support our household. my new bf found a job & it didn't take 5 yrs & handed me 400 bucks from his last check. i know this man is a keeper. thank you Glenn for giving a shit about me.
well, when i just couldn't stand for scott to lay out all night any more i started to ask to talk to him. to leave off the driving for a night, even though i already felt it that talking was not gonna do any good. he never made time to speak with me, but he could text his current bf sitting on my couch, using my internet & wifi to do so. honestly thinking that he was already with nathan & staying with me. it infuriated me so much that of course we argued constantly like we had since he forgot his fidelity vow he made to me & his maker. he finally didn't bother to come home after his rigorous job driving at night. this was the 3rd time not returning after work & he orchestrated a huge blow up day after my birthday with a guest of his choosing that he apparently was gonna hook himself to when he left per the script in his head that he'd planned. he knew he was gonna disrespect me so badly that i'd get physical but i didn't. not at that point anyway. he already had made arrangements to stay with a couple that were our friends, but not cuz he needed a place to sleep, but because he wanted to take the vacation with them that they asked both us if we wanted to go & because these 2 men give the most awesome blow job any one can imagine. he left me first time for a vacation that i refused to give a non working man & for a few blow jobs. he nearly ruined those 2. hope they were happy with what they acquired. LOL. they threw him out after 90 days.
i'd posted on Facebook that i had liver cancer & really wasn't gonna take treatment. also had bought him a car for all he did first yr we were together. i'd sold my house & could afford it finally. so he calls says he is coming home to help me through treatment or death. i didn't know someone(steven yeah suspected steven) had told him about the car. so he needed a roof over his head, food, shelter, wanted the car i bought & i was furthest thing from his thoughts, the cancer patient. first treatment, he knew when it was, but never got out of bed, even though he was there to help me. so it wasn't a priority for me to take him with me for any of the others. i tossed the paperwork cuz if he didn't care enough to come with me to treatment, he didn't need to know a thing about the rest. i did survive & only after 6 treatments. cancer free WHOO HOO. still cancer free.
the uber job was the last straw. he suddenly had my work ethic, for the moment. the lies & whoppers he told me as reason he wasn't home yet were the last straw for me. he swiped my credit card & went to places that i'd never shop in cities i hadn't been to in 25 yrs& ran up 1000 in 2 days for nothing things that really are garbage. no doubt who did it. still battling credit card company. have to make police report & say fraud, then credit company gonna go after that fucker wide open. i had nagged him to get a job & took him 4 1/2 yrs to find one, nagged that he was supposed to support himself. that just cuz we were fucking didn't negate his 50-50 promise at the start. had huge arguments about that card. he'd been using it at his disgretion for 3 yrs. i paid for it for over 2. credit company for a yrs can't imagine how anyone could not understand "don't use that card anymore" "why did u use that fuckin card" "give me that card". made him sign a promissory contract to pay weekly. i knew when he signed that the collateral was gonna be forfeited. the car i bought for him. he missed 4 payments of 100 bucks. how? i dunno. he was making 500-600 a month. he didn't even wait a day before he announced to mutual friends that he had a new partner & never had the guts to even bother to talk to me about us after assuring me in a contrite manner that we needed to work on us. PPPPFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!! bye felicia.
i welcome any comments on this sad little story I've typed out. i know its long as hell, but had to get the main points in there. i left out 3/4 of the disrespectful, awful things that he did to me & against me. i do plan to write a book soon on a whole lot of bs that has been my life. so, if you are truly in love with everything that makes you you & your spouse claims the same thing, do you honestly ever fall out of love with that person. yes, things get cloudy/murky at times, but i have not fallen out of love with him. i will truly love him til the day i die. i feel exactly like this about my first partner taken buy that fuckin drunk. please post your comments.

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