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More Info for Lifestylers  

daretoknowme6969 39M
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10/14/2015 11:10 pm
More Info for Lifestylers

Recomended Reading

We often speak of the skills we learn as Hard Skills and Soft Skills. Hard Skills being those things related to the physical things we do such as rope, fire play, flogging. Soft Skills being those things related to the mental aspect of what we do such as relationships, negotiation. I will categorize the books recommended her as either Soft Skills or Hard Skills.

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Soft Skills

The Dictionary of Scene Friendly Terms by Jack Rinella

Partners in Power: Living in Kinky Relationships by Jack Rinella

"Respected scene leader Jack Rinella has carefully explored how BDSM relationships fit into the lives of real people of all genders and orientations. From that research, and his own tow decades as an active leatherman, he has assembled this sensible, readable manual about how kinky relationships really work. You’ll learn how to decide what you want from a relationship, find partners, distinguish between fantasy and reality, negotiate agreements to accommodate your changing needs and desires resolve conflicts, and much more."

More from the Master by Jack Rinella

Rinella's most recent collection of essays complements his best-selling The Master's Manual with an array of articles on living and enjoying a healthry BDSM lifestyle. Filled with the common sense, practical, and enlightening wisdom that is Rinella's writing, readers, both old and new, will gain insight and information from this array of kinky information.

Philosophy In the Dungeon, The Magic of Sex & Spirit by Jack Rinella (Paperback & Kindle Edition)

Jack has always asserted that his BDSM experiences are based in his spirituality and here, in his newest book, he brings his spiritual philosophy to life. Philosophy in the Dungeon, The Magic of Sex & Spirit approaches spirituality with Jack's uniquely kinky perspective, including historically, psychologically, and yes, physically. Jack s system is holistic, based on extensive study, his most intimate experiences, and common sense. He approaches topics such as prayer, magic, and faith with modest confidence and rescues these concepts from their usual stereotypical meaning and misunderstood dogmatism. He encourages those looking for more significance in their kinky lifestyle to embrace an individualized spiritual path and to shed dogmatic approaches to spirituality that have only too often shamed people into denying their authentic selves.

The Loving Dominant by John Warren

A very comprehensive, accessible and well-written introduction to the scene for the novice, or any curious layperson, whether dominant or submissive in nature, or a little of both. I recommend The Loving Dominant highly to anyone wanting some down-to-earth information, from the curious acolyte to the not-quite-jaded adept. -- Paramour

The most accessible introduction to SM I've seen -- William A. Henkin, The Spectator --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton , Janet W. Hardy

Tens of thousands learned the emotional and ethical skills of BDSM topping from the first `Topping Book.` Now, in addition to the sage advice and good humor that made the first edition a classic, the authors tackle some of the issues that have come up for tops in the last six years: on-line domination, the challenges and rewards of `lifestyle` relationships, ensuring our own and our partners` safety, and more.

Becoming a Slave by Jack Rinella

Becoming a Slave is an authoritative, and well-documented book on the process of finding and submitting to a dominant. Beginning with a description of terms and the characteristics to be found in a master and in a slave, the book continues with how one realizes and understands their own desire to submit and serve, proceeds to the process of advertising, searching, meeting, and interviewing prospective masters, and ends with a great deal of practical advice on submitting, serving, and satisfying a dominant in a healthy and practical way.

SlaveCraft: Roadmaps for Erotic Servitude--Principles, Skills and Tools by Guy Baldwin

"Guy Baldwin, author of Ties That Bind, joins forces with a grateful slave to produce this gripping and personal account on the subject of consenual slavery. Philosophical and intense, Slavercraft dares to delve beneath the surface of D/s relationships and gives us an intimate and revealing view from a rare perspective- that of a slave. The authors examine the psychology and spirituality behind the Master/ slave dynamic, and the result is a book that is resourceful, thought provoking and sexually charged. Beautifully written and intriguing, Slavecraft is sure to leave an impact."

The Master's Manual: A Handbook of Erotic Dominance by Jack Rinella

This book examines various aspects of erotic dominance including SM, safety, sex, erotic power, techniques, and much more. Even if your primary interest is erotic submission rather than dominance, this book will give you insights that will help you lead you to a more fufilling sexuality. The author speaks in a clear, frank, and nonjudgemental way to anyone with an interest in the erotic dominant/submissive dynamic.

The Compleat Slave: Creating and Living an Erotic Dominant/Submissive Lifestyle by Jack Rinella

In this highly anticipated followup to The Master's Manual, author jack Rinella continues his in-depth exploration and discussion of Dominant/submissive relationships with his latest book, The Compleat Slave. This informative overview of the leather scene features Rinella's guidelines, tips, and personal experiences in creating safe and sane Master/slave relationships. Whether you are a novice or an experienced Master or slave, this insightful and forthright volume will prove to be a great read and a valuable reference guide.

Erotic Slavehood by Christina Abernathy

Combines Miss Abernathy’s Concise Slave Training Manual and Training With Miss Abernathy in one deluxe volume for the first time. In 1996, Christina Abernathy condensed her considerable wisdom and experience on the topic of consensual erotic owner/slave relationships into her first slim, elegant little manual; Miss Abernathy’s Concise Slave Training Manual. In 1998, in response to consumer demand, she laid out a detailed program for training the erotic slave in various aspects of service, obedience and proper values, Training With Miss Abernathy. These two books have become essential guidebooks to practitioners of consensual dominance and submission. Replete with updated resources and references, Erotic Slavehood will take its place among the basic BDSM reference manuals.

Erotic Surrender: The Sensual Joys of Female Submission by Claudia Varrin

In an age of liberated sexuality, sexually submissive women often feel misunderstood or ignored. Now, Claudia Varrin, professional dominatrix and a private submissive, shatters the myths about S&M relationships and emphasizes the emotional and physical benefits that can be derived from sensual submission. Erotic Surrender guides you toward a newfound sexual enrichment that can heighten intimacy and trust between partners, inside and outside the bedroom.

The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton , Janet W. Hardy

Almost a decade ago, the first `Bottoming Book` taught tens of thousands of people that bottoming - being a submissive, masochist, slave, `boy` or `girl,` or other BDSM recipient - is as much an art as topping. Since then, the growing popularity of BDSM, and the blossoming of the Internet as a source of information and connection, have created a whole new universe of possibilities for players. Now, the completely updated revised `New Bottoming Book` gives even more insights and ideas, updated for a new millennium, about how to be a successful, popular bottom! New sections on dominance/submission play, bridging the gap from on-line to real-time relationships, the four stages of a scene, and more. Plus, Fish`s hot illustrations of bottoms in action, many moving and funny anecdotes, and an extra-large helping of the realistic wisdom for which these authors are known.

Ties That Bind: The SM/Leather/Fetish Erotic Style: Issues, Commentaries and AdviceGuy Baldwin , Joseph W. Bean

The writings of one of the most respected and knowledgable people on the subject of SM/leather/fetish erotic style has been compiled in this book. Issues regarding relationships, the community, the SM experience, and personal transformation, as they relate to this form of erotic play, are addressed. Unlike many in the mental health field, Mr. Baldwin takes the approach that this style of erotic play can definitely be part of a healthy expression of one's sexuality. Many have benefitted from his sound advice in seminars, worjkshops and through his many published articles. Now, much of this man's wisdom has been published for you in this book.

SM 101: A Realistic Introduction [Paperback] by Jay Wiseman

"Call it what you like - bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadomasochism. More and more people are experimenting with this exciting , consensual form of erotic play. SM 101 is your basic guidebook to safe rewarding SM. This book includes: finding partners, negotiating the scene you want, bondage techniques, spanking and whipping, erotic torture, role playing, related practices, physical and emotional safety. Must read book"

Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission by William Brame, Gloria Brame, Jon Jacobs

A breakthrough in sexual literature, this work is a complete, comprehensive user-friendly guide to and tour through the world of alternative sexual lifestyles. While the topics are exotic and erotic, the authors handle each one in a sensitive, thorough, analytical, and fascinating way and manage to explain a secret world to those who might wish to visit.

Consensual Sadomasochism : How to Talk About It and How to Do It Safely by William A. Henkin, Sybil Holiday

Easy to read, easy to follow, and easy to understand, in this book the authors define and demystify the unique language of consensual sadomasochism, examine the psychological power of erotic dominance and submission, provide a carefully considered guide for safe SM play, and explain how SM can be an activity of intense intimacy and sophisticated erotic theater, as well as one of simple sexual pleasure. Combining their extensive professional credentials with deep personal experience, the result is an original introduction to a widely misunderstood realm of human sexuality.

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism by Philip Miller, Molly Devon

The classic guide to sadomasochism by two experienced players. This unabashed, entertaining book strips away myth, shame and fear, revealing the truth about an intense form of eroticism too long misunderstood and condemned. It is fully indexed and includes over 225 photos and illustrations, a 250-plus word glossary, appendices with over 650 contacts for SM related clubs, stores, craftspeople and literature.

Sensuous Magic: A Guide for Adventurous Lovers by Pat Califia (Author)

Sensuous Magic is clear, succinct and engaging even for the reader for whom S/M isn't the sexual behavior of choice. Califia's prose is soothing, informative and non-judgmentalshe both instructs her reader and explores the territory for them. When she is writing about the dynamics of sex and the technical aspects of it, Califia is the Dr. Ruth of the alternative sexuality set. -- Lambda Book Report

Urban Aboriginals by Geoff Mains

A subculture of gay men participate in a radical form of sexuality and community known as leather. Through intimate forms of encounter, using such tools as pain-pleasure, bondage, and role-play, leather can bring a shift of conciousness and a new vision of the self. This innovative book pioneered in sensitively exploring and celebrating leathersexuality. As relevant today as when it was written 20 years ago, Urban Aboriginals is an intimate view of the gay male leather community. Within its pages, author Geoff Mains explores the spritual, sexual, emotional, cultural and physiological aspects that make this "scene" one of the most prominent yet misunderstood subcultures in our society.

Geoff Mains was a sweet, intelligent, articulate, and wonderful man who cared passionately about the leather community. He wanted to make sure that its accomplishments would be remembered and its wild beauty understood. Urban Aboriginals resulted from his love and is an enduring part of his legacy. It is a unique cultural study, and a priceless document of a now vanished time. --Gayle Rubin, Ph.D., author and anthropologist

The Leatherman's Handbook, 25th Anniversary Edition by Larry Townsend Used only out of print.-- A special twenty fifth edition of this seminal guide to the gay leather underground.

The leatherboy Handbook by Vincent L. Andrews

"In the past when a potential leatherboy has asked me, where do I start I had to guide them to a dozen publications and even then the information was incomplete. Now the answer is simple, The leatherboy Handbook! This book is a wonderful resource for anyone interested in the “boy subculture”. Vincent Andrews draws on his own experiences in the leather community as well as some of the best source material available to create what will surely become the companion volume to Larry Townsend’s Leatherman’s Handbook. In a clear and concise voice with numerous references, “boy vince” has created a goldmine for the budding leatherboy, no matter what his gender. Most importantly, this book explains much of the “why” behind the boy experience, and that is the key to its value. I heartily recommend this book for both boys and Daddys, subs and Doms. It is a good read and a requisite for any leather/kink library. Hardy Haberman"

Leathersex: A Guide for the Curious Outsider and the Serious Player by Joseph W. Bean

Everyone wants a more interesting and fulfilling erotic life. With that in mind, this book was written to give guidance to one popular style of erotic play which the author calls "leathersex"-sexuality that may include S/M, bondage, dominance, submission, fantasy, role playing, sensual physical stimulation, and fetish, to name just a few. If you are simply curious about leathersex, or if you already enjoy its pleasures but want to learn more, this book is for you!

Protocols: A Variety of Views: Power Exchange Books' Resource Series by Robert Rubel PhD

I used to have a very low opinion of protocols. From what I saw of them, protocols were fantasy-based, almost invariably sexual in nature, and only used in online roleplay and by those whose knowledge of the BDSM lifestyle was limited to fantasy scenarios. Then, at the urging of an acquaintance, I read Robert Rubel’s Protocols: Handbook for the female slave (Nazca Plains, 2006). What an eye-opener! I instantly became the biggest proponent of protocols that can be found, and I have continued to pursue a strong interest in the subject. I see protocols, now, as crucial; one of the foundations of a successful Master/slave relationship.
This book contains a collection of essays representing the writings of a few Masters and slaves presenting widely divergent views of protocols and how/why they are used as they are from the authors’ perspectives.

The Sexually Dominant Woman: A Workbook for Nervous Beginners by Lady Green

In the six years since her initial publication of a Xeroxed pamphlet called "The Sexually Dominant Woman", Lady Green has taught tens of thousands of women, men and couples the fundamentals of safe, fun, erotic female-dominant play. Now Lady Green returns with the publication of the revised and updated third edition of her classic The Sexually Dominant Woman. This friendly, non-threatening book is the perfect starting point for the woman who has fantasized about erotic power play, explaining the fundamentals of bondage, sensation and control games. It includes a script to inspire and support the novice through her first scene, a new section on partner-finding skills and updated information on the possible emotional effects of female-dominant play.

The Mistress Manual: The Good Girl's Guide to Female Dominance by Mistress Lorelei (Author)

Mistress Lorelei is the author of Greenery Press's "Mistress Manual." A dominant woman of several decades' experience, she has trained and feminized many sissy maids, to her own and their delight. She is a professional writer who has published three other books under other names.

Female Dominance: Rituals And Practices by Claudia Varrin
"Living behind the veil" is when you step back and forth between your light world and your dark one, your light side and your dark side. As a part-time practitioner of romantic BDSM, lifting the veil between the two worlds is what you do to leave your daytime persona behind and enter the world of exotic, erotic fantasies and the shadowland of your secret erotic mind.

Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits : Secrets of Sustainable Intimate Relationships by Deborah M. Anapol

This book is a valuable guide for the establishing and nurturing of healthy intimate relationships that are responsibly nonmonogamous, and a valuable resource for educators and counsellors working in the fields of sexual, mental and emotional health. --Dr Maria Pallotta-Chiarolli

The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures y Dossie Easton, Janet Hardy

For anyone who has ever dreamed of love, sex, and companionship beyond the limits of traditional monogamy, this groundbreaking guide navigates the infinite possibilities that open relationships can offer. Experienced ethical sluts Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy dispel myths and cover all the skills necessary to maintain a successful and responsible polyamorous lifestyle--from self-reflection and honest communication to practicing safe sex and raising a family. Individuals and their partners will learn how to discuss and honor boundaries, resolve conflicts, and to define relationships on their own terms.

The Beauty of Kinbaku by Master K (Hardcover)- Not a how to book.

Hard Skills

Flogging by Joseph W. Bean

The Compleat Spanker by Lady Green

Let's Get Cracking!: The How-To Book Of Bullwhip Skills by Robert Dante

Flames of Passion: Handbook of Erotic Fire Play by Walker & Rubel

JUICE--Electricity for Pleasure and Pain by Uncle Abdul

Jay Wiseman's Erotic Bondage Handbook by Jay Wiseman

Complete Shibari Volume 1: Land by Douglas Kent

Complete Shibari Volume 2: Sky by Douglas Kent

Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes by Two Knotty Boys

Two Knotty Boys Back on the Ropes by Two Knotty Boys

The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage by Midori

Shibari You Can Use: Japanese Rope Bondage and Erotic Macramé by Lee Harrington

Bondage For Sex by Chanta Rose

Toybag Guides

Toybag guides are a brief overview and a summery of areas of BDSM

The Toybag Guide to Clips and Clamps by Jack Rinella

The Toybag Guide to Dungeon Emergencies and Supplies by Jay Wiseman

The Toybag Guide to Playing With Taboo (Toybag Guides) by Mollena Williams

The Toybag Guide to Medical Play by Tempest

The Toybag Guide to Basic Rope Bondage by Jay Wiseman

The Toybag Guide to Erotic Knifeplay by Miranda Austin and Sam Atwood

The Toybag Guide to Age Play (Toybag Guides) by Lee Harrington

The Toybag Guide to Canes and Caning by Janet Hardy

The Toybag Guide to Foot and Shoe Worship by Midori

The Toybag Guide to High-Tech Toys by John Warren

The Toybag Guide to Hot Wax and Temperature Play by Spectrum

Other Books

Learning the Ropes: A Basic Guide to Safe and Fun S/M Lovemaking by Race Bannon

This brief volume explains how partners can explore their dominant and submissive S/M fantasies in a safe and fun manner. Negative myths are dispelled and replaced with the truth about the kind of S/M erotic play that so many adults enjoy. You'll learn what S/M is, how to do it safely, and much, much more.

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