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ManwranglerJen
 
I don’t even remember what was originally here, but I will try to match it. I’m Manwranglerjen. I can also be found at Phillygirljen and LiteraryJen. Feel free to find and follow me.
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At Home That Night
Posted:Feb 23, 2020 8:15 pm
Last Updated:Feb 24, 2020 1:23 pm
33 Views

I have flashbacks of that night. Some of the moments were breathtaking and some were awkward. I knew early on I wanted to touch you. I remembered asking if I could help you rub the soreness of your neck and shoulder. You obliged, and there were those minutes where I sat behind you, longing to place my hands on your bare skin but satisfied enough to touch you through your shirt. It was a ploy to get you to touch me back...would it work? Time would tell. So much yet so little happened in the space of an hour. I smile at the reminder of seeing you turn your perfect little ass from me as you grabbed your rope. From my vantage point on my knees, I was at eye level. You sure know how to fill your jeans. But my favorite part, the one that makes my heart melt, is the remembrance of how I was kneeling before you as you sat back in your seat. My hands were resting on your thighs. Even through the thick material, I could feel your strength and your heat. And you didn’t stop me. You didn’t tell me I couldn’t touch you. You didn’t tell me my hands belonged at my sides or behind my back. For as long as I kneeled there, my hands were touching you. And they’ve never felt more at home.

It’s those things, those moments with you that I long to recreate and replicate. I long to see you again. More than I expected. I want to pursue all my fantasies and longings. I want you to allow me to put my hands all over your body. I want to feel that sense of belonging and of being at home with you.
0 Comments
The New Car Challenge
Posted:Feb 20, 2020 7:39 am
Last Updated:Feb 21, 2020 3:39 am
264 Views

I bought a car last week as many of you know. In the midst of negotiations and deciding what I wanted, I also chatted with someone, who knew where I was and took great delight in making me blush and giggle (yes, I still giggle like a little girl; it’s adorable). I am not a blusher, though, so my hat’s off to him for his skill. One of the things he said to me was that I should celebrate my new car by taking pics for him...maybe one with the girls free and atop the steering wheel. Really? Me? Do that? Have you not noticed there are no nudes of me anywhere?

I did make a fully clothed video for him of me talking about the fact that I could not make it work logistically and what I could do as a substitute. While he thought the video was cute, it was not what he wanted, so he sent me back to try again. He gave me pointers on how to make it work. With this ever increasing desire to please him, I put on my best red lipstick, took off my shirt, and went to my car. I pushed the seat back, climbed in, started recording, and knelt in the front seat as he suggested. I could not make it work still, though I now know for certain the horn works. What ensued was a recording of me playing with my wayward tits, stimulating my nipples, and laughing at the ridiculousness of the the situation, as I tried to make my large breasts cooperate in a compact car. I was all the more pleased with myself because in spite of my failure, I knew I would amuse him and cause him to smile.

I thought I would delete the video as soon as I sent it to him. I’ve since decided to keep it. I could do without the images, but the sound of my voice and my own amusement are captured in a minute of carefree woman- delight, which cannot occur often enough.
3 Comments
If I Had The Words
Posted:Feb 18, 2020 11:02 am
Last Updated:Feb 19, 2020 2:28 am
457 Views

If I had the words I would tell you
How you somehow captured my imagination on that very first day
How it didn’t even take meeting you to know I was bound for trouble
If I had the words I’d tell you that I think about you daily
I wonder if you are somewhere safe
If you’re happy
If you’re giving your attentions to someone else
And if you ever think about me
If I had the words I would ask you to come back
To hurry
To not linger any longer on adventures in the world
But to instead embark on a new one with me
If I had the words I’d tell you that I long to explore with you
To kiss your lips
To taste your body
To listen to you breathe
To feel your hands touching me
To have you fill me with your own need
If I had the words I would tell you that I know it makes no sense
But I need you in my life
But I don’t have the words
All I have is the feeling
The ever growing feeling
That I may never see you again
That I am destined to feel this ache inside me
That began the moment you first spoke to me
And doesn’t seem to dissipate with time or distance or silence from you.
3 Comments
Different Paths and New Things
Posted:Feb 17, 2020 5:17 am
Last Updated:Feb 17, 2020 6:42 pm
578 Views

I bought a new car yesterday. I went to the dealership with specific ideas in mind, yet I wound up with something I hadn’t planned on buying. The biggest departure is the color. I absolutely wanted a blue car. I always want blue. Everything I have is blue. Blue eyes, blue glasses, lots of blue clothing, a blue head, and my car I left behind was blue. This car is gray...there are hints of blue, but it’s gray. However, I walked on my back porch to look down at my car this morning and smiled. It’s not what I expected, but it’s absolutely beautiful just the .

I think the biggest thing I’m dealing with in the afterglow/buyer’s remorse mixture at the moment is that I let someone lead me in a direction, and I followed. I was given key information that was designed to turn me on, and I think I forgot all the things I thought I wanted. What does that say about me? It’s an internal struggle I’m having. I want to be in control of everything, but I want to experience things that take away my control. I want to satisfy my own immediate needs and wants and have always been stubbornly resistant to anyone else’s input about what would be good for me, even if I would benefit from this information. Yet, suddenly I’m finding myself wanting to allow myself the luxury and pleasure of letting someone else be in control to satisfy me even if his methods would have never been my own.

So, today I have a new car. It’s not blue, but it’s beautiful just the , and I have a world of experience ahead of me that might not be what I expected, but it will be beautiful just the .
3 Comments
This could take a while. ;)
Posted:Feb 12, 2020 7:16 pm
Last Updated:Feb 21, 2020 5:55 am
981 Views

I want you to come here
and teach me everything you know.
Your mind is brilliant and exciting
Your thoughts are rare
I’m honored to be in your presence
But be certain I am listening and learning
My mind wanders to your beauty
When I should be focused on your knowledge instead
Quiz me for understanding
Test me for comprehension
Challenge me for depth
I want to be with you where you are
to have my limits stretched
My boundaries expanded
I want to learn everything you have to offer
Be patient with me as I grow
As I struggle to be the best I can be
Your capacity seems limitless
Share with me your knowledge
Help me to be a better me
Teach me everything you know
3 Comments
Trying to figure me out
Posted:Feb 12, 2020 4:10 am
Last Updated:Feb 12, 2020 7:22 pm
945 Views

I have said it in passing in my typical flippant manner, but maybe it’s the truth... I want someone to dominate me so I don’t have to control anything. I just want to be there experiencing but not forcing for a change. In my daily world, I make every decision for everyone. My brain is tired. Beyond tired. Maybe for once I don’t want to have to tell anyone what should happen or how to please me. I want someone to watch me and study me and figure it out and then pick me up, carry me to the safest place he knows and then tease me, torture me with my own desires, and take me at his leisure. I am a conundrum to myself. I don’t want to submit. I want to be dominated into submission to where even the decision to submit has been made for me. I want to love it for how much I hate it. I want to find excitement and sheer pleasure in how unnerved it makes me. I want to squirm and yearn and quiver in my delight but also in my lack of control.

This I promise, though. It isn’t going to be easy for all my acquiescence. I will be a brat. I will tell you to go fuck yourself somehow, someway. I will make you want to kill me even as your heart reaches out to me and you can’t take your eyes from my pretty face.
3 Comments
Always the fat lady, never the bride
Posted:Feb 11, 2020 5:45 am
Last Updated:Feb 21, 2020 5:59 am
992 Views

So I’m going to be honest right here and say that while I have the desire to get my eating disorder recovery back on track, I haven’t had the motivation or the energy. It is difficult to be as hyper vigilant as I need to be about my recovery process and still manage to work, laugh, play, and breathe.

However, there are two things occurring simultaneously that have helped to ignite my inner motivational fire. The first is that I can’t seem to get fucked for anything these days. The second is that my and her boyfriend are looking at engagement rings. I cannot be the fat mother of the bride. I refuse to be the fat mother of the bride. The day will of course be all about her. I have no desire to steal the show or upstage her, but if I have to be present for all of the preparation and the parties and the joy and the laughter, then I also don’t want to do anything to shame or humiliate either her or myself throughout the entire process. She is my best friend, and I am super proud of her and want her to be proud of me, too. Besides, I have every intention of staying sober and still managing to take home one of the groomsman.
4 Comments
The Highs and Lows
Posted:Feb 10, 2020 8:12 am
Last Updated:Feb 10, 2020 7:23 pm
1235 Views

The internet allows you to get close to people you might not have otherwise met. Windows of correspondence come from every corner of the world. Through these tiny windows, people enter your living rooms and bedrooms. They share your laughter, your tears, your bed. They become a part of who you are, leading you in directions you would have never expected to take. They become a part of your journey, taking on meaningful roles in your life. Sometimes they become the fabric of your entire being. But other times, they disappear. Even though their role is not complete you, they’ve satisfied whatever longing existed in them. They are ready move to on, and often do so without a proper goodbye. These moments become the highs and lows of an otherwise static existence. Sometimes l wish I never found you. You led me to the lowest of the lows. Yet, I know in heart it is because you first took me to the highest of the highs. And that, I can only truly be grateful and nothing more.

Altered

The internet allows you to get close to people you might not have otherwise met. Windows of correspondence come from every corner of the world. People enter your living rooms and bedrooms through these tiny windows with bewildering deftness. They share your laughter, your tears, your bed. They become a part of who you are, leading you in directions you would have never expected to take. They become a part of your journey, taking on meaningful roles in your life. Sometimes they become the fabric of your entire being. But other times, they disappear with almost the same deftness but the ache and the longing they leave behind. Even though their role is not complete for you, they’ve satisfied whatever longing existed in them. They are ready to move on, and often do so without a proper goodbye. These moments become the highs and lows of an otherwise static existence. Sometimes l wish I never found you. You led me to the lowest of the lows. Yet, I know in my heart it is because you first took me to the highest of the highs. For that, I can only truly be grateful and nothing more.
10 Comments
Empty packages
Posted:Feb 7, 2020 9:19 pm
Last Updated:Feb 8, 2020 3:03 pm
1124 Views

*Disclaimer* it’s not the being married that hurts so much. Everyone needs affection sometimes,. No, it’s that they lie about it and make fools of everyone involved.

It's not fair
Not fair at all
When these married men hit on me
When they want to take what they can from me
Never able to offer their best in return
they never understand
That though they're convinced
Their penis alone makes them God's gift to the world
It's a gift wrapped box
Filled with nothing
There's no comfort
No companionship
No safe harbor
There's no friendship
No meaning
No purpose
All of that belongs to another
Like the contents of a box
A box that has been emptied, gift wrapped, handed over
to a woman
who would rather have the contents
Than a pretty package
1 comment
Longing
Posted:Feb 7, 2020 11:35 am
Last Updated:Feb 20, 2020 7:18 pm
1120 Views

Ask about my day
I yearn to kneel before you as you listen to me speak
As you get to know me
As you watch me with eyes of intensity
Talk to me
Hear what I have to say
I’m starved for your attention
Feed my soul with your questions
Replenish my body with your responses
I crave your touch
But even more than that,
I ache to feel your mind connected to mine
I long for you to draw nearer to my soul
2 Comments
Stroking
Posted:Feb 4, 2020 3:56 pm
Last Updated:Feb 8, 2020 5:56 pm
1322 Views

My friend sent me a video of himself stroking. Normally I’m not a fan. I want it in the room with me, not hundreds or thousands of miles away. And stroking seems like such a waste anyway. We don’t need your hand on your cock. It’s mine! Mine to play with. Mine to arouse. Mine to fuck. Mine to get off on. I’m a greedy one. But this video was sexy as hell. I’ve watched it a dozen times so far with a delighted smile on my face. But it’s not so much him stroking that appeals to me. I mean, that’s sexy, too, seeing his hand wrapped around that fat cock, glistening with warming oil. But it’s more than that. I see him going from recording his play to his face as he looks into the phone screen, calls me by name, and tells me that if he doesn’t make it to see me, I’m going to have to come to him. Like I said, it’s mine. He knows it. I know it. We both know that one day soon his fat cock is going to make its way to my tight little pussy, and I’m going to ride it like I’ve been straddling him my entire life.
5 Comments
Damn it, Jennifer
Posted:Feb 2, 2020 12:54 pm
Last Updated:Feb 20, 2020 7:24 pm
1531 Views

I hate myself for feeling this way
For wanting you to come back
For wasting my time on another pipe dream
I should have known better
I did know better
Indeed I wanted to resist you
But you wouldn’t let me
And I couldn’t let myself
Pretend that I wasn’t drawn to you
I couldn’t avoid you if I tried
It was a mere few hours of my life
So much life lived before
And after, too
Yet those moments with you play in my mind
Like an old favorite song
And I hate myself for this feeling of longing
Of wanting to see you again
And for what I don’t even know
Maybe to just create a few more memories
To sear in my brain
Or maybe to try again to make it matter as much to you as it did to me
But here I am again
Still thinking of you
And hating myself
For hoping and wanting and wishing and willing you to come back.
4 Comments
Lessons to learn
Posted:Feb 1, 2020 4:34 pm
Last Updated:Feb 2, 2020 10:31 am
1372 Views

I feel your eyes on
The weight of your stare
The scrutiny
You command with those eyes
I’m at once willing
Even in my clumsy disobedience
What else can I do
I aim please you and often fail
Yet, you do not frighten
Indeed I long for your firm hand
I’ve been watching you, too
Through down turned eyes
I watch you watching
You try maintain the appearance of mystery and brooding
Yet, I see the pleasure on your face
The look of amusement you can’t quite hide
Still, you are in control, and you know it
One day, I will be the little girl you long for
For now, I’m just the broken woman
With lessons be learned

For distant friend, Quixote, tries be mysterious and brooding but is rather comical instead.
0 Comments

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Most Recent Comments by Others

Post Poster Post Date
This could take a while. ;) (7)poorboyfloyd
Feb 21, 2020 2:54 am
Always the fat lady, never the bride (11)poorboyfloyd
Feb 21, 2020 2:51 am
The New Car Challenge (7)poorboyfloyd
Feb 21, 2020 2:44 am
If I Had The Words (7)h4rry66
Feb 18, 2020 9:31 pm
Different Paths and New Things (11)poorboyfloyd
Feb 17, 2020 5:33 pm
Trying to figure me out (5)MrBlue5050
Feb 12, 2020 12:52 pm
The Highs and Lows (15)Sxyhungmarine696
Feb 10, 2020 10:14 am
Stroking (6)matt196990
Feb 8, 2020 5:55 pm
Empty packages (1)poorboyfloyd
Feb 8, 2020 12:14 pm
Longing (4)poorboyfloyd
Feb 8, 2020 11:49 am
Acceptance (7)rusty_nail
Feb 7, 2020 5:40 am