When is it wrong?
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Posted:Jan 24, 2013 7:42 am
Last Updated:Jul 7, 2016 5:05 pm
14720 Views
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I read a blog recently by someone whose friend didn't approve of her sexual lifestyle, which can involve some submissive behaviour.
Occasionally I find my mind wanders into a fantasy about rough sex, although in reality I don't like the idea of hurting anyone in any way at all, and I can't stand any sort of porn in which I get the feeling the girl is not really having a good time. But I did once write a fantasy piece about being tricked into being rough with a girl, and I have to admit, writing it turned me on. But I don't know, in real life the idea scares me a bit, and certainly, I don't like it if a woman is rough with me. I remember a girl who scratched my back so hard once the pain made me go soft! In the morning the sheets were streaked with blood. I didn't like that at all, lol.
(Incidentally, before you all rush to correct me, I do know that being submissive is not about rough sex - it just lead my thoughts there in a round about way. )
No one should be made to feel guilty about what turns them on. If gratifying it does them harm, or worse still harms others, that may be a different matter, but otherwise I am disappointed by those people who have difficulty accepting the unusual sexual interests of others..... "What I like is normal, what you like is perverted....." This sort of comment is far more common on this site than you might at first think. We like to think we are open minded, but to most people there are certain things that are "just plain Wrong."
Perhaps sometimes, because they don't understand, they may want to patronizingly "protect" someone from bringing themselves to harm, or sometimes, maybe they feel a little threatened because it can bring them close to examining something in themselves which they would rather keep buried.
When I experimented by writing a blog about slightly over-rough sex, the fact that writing it turned me on scared me a bit. Pull My Fucking Hair Hot if you want to read it. But if you do, be careful, some people didn't like it, lol. It wasn't about the real me at all though - I think that actually causing a woman pain would turn me off – although I don't really know for sure because I haven't tried it. But, in the right mood, I sometimes find that the idea of it - the fantasy of it - is very sexy, provided the woman herself wants it too. I guess for me that is where my own personal line is.
I don't think it is sensible of people to expect everyone elses lines to be in exactly the same places!
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11
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Beaver Boxing
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Posted:Jan 21, 2013 2:26 am
Last Updated:Jan 25, 2013 1:00 am
13474 Views
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Michaela: "And then they stand on their back legs and beat each other with their paws."
Chris: "Yes, almost as if they were boxing."
Michaela: "Wouldn't it be great to see them do that now, live for our viewers."
Chris: "Well I don't think Beaver Boxing would be likely to catch on as a spectator sport."
Hmmmmmm. I'm not so sure about that Chris. I don't know how they kept straight faces.
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9
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Understanding Relaxed Sexuality
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Posted:Jan 17, 2013 9:09 am
Last Updated:Jan 29, 2013 2:31 am
14298 Views
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I am envious of those who are fully relaxed about their sexuality. (Although maybe not many people actually are, now I think about it. I certainly read about plenty of conflicted feelings on these blogs. But anyway......)
Not that I have any doubts about mine in terms of what I like - I am a straight-ahead-women-only-lie-'em-down-and-lick-'em while-I-fuck-'em-till-we-both-come kind of guy, but I think there are deeper aspects of how I feel that do not fit easily into my life.
I have mentioned before that whilst I am intrigued by the idea of polyamorous relationships, I don't know if one would work for me. (That's if I ever was with a woman who thought it would work for her, which doesn't seem likely right now.) I have edged in that direction once or twice, having had more than one girlfriend over the years who felt that she could understand polyamory, and how I might have slightly darker fantasies which I needed her to understand but probably wasn't going to act on. Why being drawn sexually to other women would not mean I loved her any less. In fact that level of understanding of me made me fall in love with them even more.
Those were really natural feeling sexual relationships, some of them described on this blog. The kind where you and your lover are completely in tune with each others needs, where nothing is taboo, where you both just seem to instinctively know how to get the best from each other sexually. But for me none of those have lasted long enough to be called long term. The long term relationships I have had have always resulted in sex dwindling away to nothing in the end. I have to accept that as this has happened to me more than once it must be at least partly my fault. It seems that the kind of women I tend to love and commit to are not women who consistently turn me on.
Whether that is because I am reluctant to commit to women I find sexy, or whether being with me doesn't work long term for those kind of women, or some other factor or a combination of factors, I don't know. But once sex is less than all out I-must-have-you lust, it does not come easily to me. There comes a point when I just can't face it.
But I still want it, need it and miss it.
I have no idea how to resolve this. Fantasy can only take me so far. And yet I do not want to make the life changes which would enable me even to explore where being more true to my inner self would take me. It is odd, because in all other things I am fiercely true to myself. At times in my life I could have pushed my boundaries to see where it lead. But at those times my natural urge is always to find a nice girl and settle down again. In a way I can liken it to drugs. I have never taken drugs. Because I a worried if I started there would be no going back. I would become hopelessly addicted, and I don't want to be.
For a while now, here on this site has been where I get my fix. But like all drugs, the effect diminishes. For me, sometimes it means I want more than fantasy offers, but I daren't take it. Other times I just want to shut the blog and do woodwork, lol.
Every now and then I have found what felt like a happy in-between, but each time that happens, I get closer to wrecking the whole construction of my life in a way I really don't want. And while I keep hoping for a solution to come, even though I don't really know what it is, I feel like another perfect scenario is no longer likely to happen, other than in my dreams.....
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10
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Card Conundrums
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Posted:Jan 14, 2013 7:46 am
Last Updated:Jan 21, 2013 1:56 am
13572 Views
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On my to do list this week is writing to all the people who sent me Christmas cards, to whom I did not send a card, owing to the fact that last year I did send them a card but they didn't send me one. So I thought, like everyone else, that no one sends cards any more, so I didn't send them one, 'cos I didn't want them to feel obligated to send me one. But now they have sent me one and I don't want them to think I am ignoring them. So I am replying saying how nice it was to hear from them, which means they will probably feel obligated to send me one next year. Or they might not as I did only sent a reply to their card this year, not a "first strike" card of my own. So do I send them one next year or not? Confused? Me too.
Bollocks to it - next year I am just sending cards to people I really like, whether they send me one or not. But wait a minute: isn't that what I said just before Christmas this year? Isn't that what lead to this problem in the first place. What sort of meddling fool invented Christmas cards anyway?
I also have a card to send to someone who has moved so I don't yet have their new address. Maybe they have just forgotten - it is someone I am normally in regular contact with, but I don't want to seem like a pest and keep asking for it.
If only I had more important problems to worry about, lol.
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10
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Plaything Fantasy
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Posted:Jan 8, 2013 11:28 am
Last Updated:Jan 14, 2013 7:17 am
13566 Views
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I have been frustratedly horny of late.
To the extent that I have almost begun to believe my own fantasy that what I need is some sexy woman to come round here at midnight, kiss me, suck my cock, have a couple of decent orgasms of her own, smile and tell me I'm wonderful, and then disappear off in the morning without having any other affect on my life.
Like Shakira maybe, or Helen Glover. Is that really so much to ask??
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9
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Great Snakes!
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Posted:Jan 4, 2013 7:26 am
Last Updated:Jan 17, 2013 11:02 am
14911 Views
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This is bugging me. What was the name of the snake in the jungle book? (I know I could just look it up, but this is more fun. )
Answers from memory only please! Or inspired alternative ideas.
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6
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Frankinsensational
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Posted:Dec 20, 2012 4:42 am
Last Updated:Dec 20, 2021 10:53 am
19017 Views
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Frankinsensational
Frankinsensational. A word I heard a radio presenter say the other day. I hope you all have a frankinsensational Christmas.
Whatever you are doing, love the day – even if for some reason is isn't perfect or it all gets a bit stressful: everything seems so much better if you just love the day. I will be thinking of you all again this year as I am driving home for Christmas, and I hope everything works out how you want it to. For this New Year, resolve to Be Special; make the best of everything you have and follow your dreams. Don't despair if they don't come true, but don't forget them – don't let them die just because you can't make them happen. Don't give up hoping that one day you will.
MostWantonWench – I smile every time I see that you have visited, and with every word that I write I remember you, and that you will be reading.
Zandigal – It made my day to see you had commented on my blog again after so long. I have really missed you being around! But for some reason I think of you every time I see the moon….. Can I please have a full catch up on everything that's been going on in your life? And can we have a throw back to your wild sexy writing on your blog at some point? You know…. "when he remakes her in the ruddy smears," the shy girl in the hotel room, pretending to be a gay transvestite in the showers and all that. I love that.
Tigger – I feel like I have been reading your blog for ages without finding out very much about what it is all about. Maybe I just visit for glimpses of your sexy lips. But I also see you as a real friend out there somewhere, and it makes me smile whenever you leave me a comment.
Hippiechick – You have been around ever since my first posts, and even when we don't have the same view I always learn something from your take on life. I've mentioned it before, but your ability to find the positive in life despite setbacks is always inspiring.
Mmss – I haven't forgotten what you said about how some of the things I wrote helped you get through a tough time. I still don't know what I did but that means a lot to me anyway. You being around helps me too, though times are okay for me right now. I notice you haven't been blogging much, and I hope that means things are better and you don't need the therapy that blogging can bring. Merry Christmas.
Zoelightly – You seem to be actually struggling with something very similar to what I think I should be struggling with, but instead I come here where I can hide away from it and not have to deal with it. I don't even know if you know what you wish would happen, (which is a bit like me too ) but whatever it is I hope it makes you happy and that I get to hear about it.
Torrid_affair – I get a warm feeling whenever you comment. Plus I really like your picture, and your username. I like to think that sometimes when you sing you wish I could hear you.
Peterwasted – It's great to have a male friend in amongst a list of followers which is otherwise unremittingly female (I'm not complaining, but you know what I mean.) Someone who understands the value of the music too, even if it isn't the same music. And trees.
Cute_n_nerdy – Although I don't really know you, I enjoy reading your updates – you are so good at putting across how you are feeling about things, and I really like that. I see that you come and read my posts sometimes, and it makes me wish that what I am writing at the moment was a bit more interesting, lol! I guess I am kind of written out at the moment, and maybe because life is a bit bland (bland but happy, ) I'm not inspired to "dip my pen in my heart and spill it all over the page...." as much as I used to.
Amakamaria – Even though your visits are sporadic at best, I am so glad you never leave. You are one of my oldest and dearest friends here. (I say friends, but you know I fancy the hell out of you too… )
Redheadinheat – I love that you come and read my posts, even though you aren't writing much yourself at the moment. Somehow I feel we ought to know each other better than we do. I want to.
Mystirose – One of my favourite former bloggers. I'm glad you didn't go away altogether. I wish I heard from you more often.
Synndarella – I know you're winding down your blog a bit now, but whenever you do post it is usually fascinating, and I keep my eye open for you. In fact I have been around Somerset a lot lately, but I can't seem to find "Desk."
Marysia – I hope all is well with you down under, sorry I don't get on to blog as often as I used to, but at least you have Roy!
Cum2kissu2 – Merry Christmas Kizza, if you're reading. Sorry I haven't been by your blog recently, I'll put that right in the New Year. Meanwhile, hugs, and I hope you are well.
Wantitindeep – Sometimes there just isn’t anything to write is there? But I haven't forgotten you, out there somewhere in your little shack in the middle of nowhere.
Wildfire – Thank you for always finding something positive to say. And for introducing me to Big Dog. (I hope he’s okay – I haven't heard from him recently… )
F4win – I see you visited a while back, but your blog is quiet. I hope life is good. I know you are always at the other end of an email.
To anyone I may have forgotten to mention, missed out, or who hasn't been reading long and I don't know yet – sorry not to say a special hello, but happy Christmas, and I hope I get to see more of you in the New Year. Finally some goodbyes which are not really goodbyes, thank goodness.
Skierchick – (For those who don't know, skierchick has an amazingly sexy athletic body, and an athletic mind as well. Her blog was mainly a series of thought provoking questions about how a man's mind works when it comes to sex – so you can see what attracted me, lol ) Anyway SC, something reminded me of you the other day....I must get in touch with you about that. I don't know if you will be dropping in to say merry Christmas, but here’s to the stars and stripes if you do!
Colorado Rose. I know you said you wouldn't be signing in any more, but......well, Merry Christmas if you do. You know how I feel about you, and we'll be talking anyway, but I still miss you being here to talk about who else is blogging.
Sassicat – Sassicat was one of the very first people I ever corresponded with here. Her blog was usually a shameless chronicle of the conquest of some poor hapless guy with a nice cock. (And a lot of it was actually true she tells me! ) Anyway, she was always here to comment on my blog and became a real friend, albeit at a distance. She's had some ups and downs in life, but happily is on a long and continuing up now, and I am so happy for her. Last year she decided she had nothing more to say on her blog, and left the site for good, so I don't suppose she’ll be reading this, but if you've followed my blog for any length of time, you will have noticed she's not here any more, so I thought I’d let you all know she’s doing well in real life.
See you all in the New Year,
Dreamer.
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23
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Imaginary Conversation
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Posted:Dec 18, 2012 3:20 am
Last Updated:Dec 20, 2021 10:50 am
14174 Views
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I miss seeing you around.
I thought you would have forgotten all about me by now.
No, I still think about you a lot. Especially when I want to get turned on.
It still turns me on to think you get excited when you think about me.
I would have been in touch but I thought we weren't supposed to be talking.
We're only texting.
True.
And anyway, it hasn't stopped me thinking about you either.
We really should make more of the effect we have on each other.
Yes.
If I were to come round now would something happen?
Only if we both decided we wanted it to.
I want it to.
So do I.
So do you want to come over now and see what happens?
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10
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Risky Business
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Posted:Dec 12, 2012 5:54 am
Last Updated:Dec 19, 2012 1:34 am
14909 Views
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I'm still not too old to die young.
But life teaches you to play too safe – probably most of us can trace it back to one or two key moments. And because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk, I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get burnt.
But it is too easy to say "what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger;" or "you regret the things you didn't do much more than what you did." I've mentioned before how wrong I think those statements are. (Though they do make good song lyrics. )
But life has a funny way of catching you out, so that over time you tend to learn a few things that help to keep you safer. You learn not to turn that pipe connecter just one quarter turn more, not to take that corner just an exciting fraction too fast, not to look that extra second too long into the swirling sea of her blue eyes.......You learn not to make that prank call.
On the other hand the risks you take when you are young make you what you are. If you make it. Those who are young today; they'll learn much more than I'll ever know. And I envy them their perfect soft skin, the curves that will fit so warm together, the firm muscle tone their eyes will linger over. When, like last night, I dream I am lying in bed with a beautiful woman, I always seem to be some kind of perfectly mature but still young age. Her breasts are firm and rounded, my arms are strong and muscular, my cock throbs long and hard inside her. And I have the nerve to take the risk that being with her will change everything for ever.
You wake in a strange bed in an unfamiliar part of town. Maybe you dress in the same clothes as the day before and struggle in to work, getting through the day in a haze of blurry expectations, your old life left behind in one snap late night decision, a new one stretching out in a direction you never anticipated. But you throw yourself into it without looking back. At least not too much. But only when you’re young.
Life may look like a tough school when seen from the start of term. But looking back it seems more like a holiday, which started with lazing on the beach and drinking too much, and ends with trying to cram everything you wanted to do into the last two days and wondering how the time went by so fast. I know one day I will still be looking back at where I am now, with so much still ahead, I hope, wishing I had made more of the time I had. Imagine yourself in the future, looking back at what you did. Reading these pages with a sense of déjà vu and wondering what would have been different if you had just.......found a safe way to take a risk.
Note: I know Risky Business is also a 1990s film starring Tom Cruise, but actually I took my title from an album by a 1970s band called Dr Feelgood.
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6
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Why?
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Posted:Dec 5, 2012 5:03 pm
Last Updated:Dec 12, 2012 11:31 am
14124 Views
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Why is there always so much washing?
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5
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In Praise of the Nipple
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Posted:Nov 30, 2012 4:50 am
Last Updated:Dec 10, 2012 1:24 pm
13801 Views
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Julia Roberts' nipple to be precise.
I was watching Pretty Woman on TV for the first time in a while recently, and I had forgotten that there is a moment, during the sex scene on the piano I think, when, as Edward pulls Vivienne's top off, there is a momentary flash of her beautiful right nipple.
It's a fairly standard nipple really, nothing extra special about it, but it's a pert, puckered little bud of beauty, and it reminded me of how much I love a nipple. Just a glimpse of one makes you want to suck it in between your lips and flick it gently against your teeth with your tongue. Who couldn't fail to smile at the sharp intake of breath and shift of the hips that is going to cause? I remember one of my blogging friends, I forget which for a moment, wrote fairly recently of how her nipples send messages to her clit, and I often muse dreamily on that when I am sucking on a nipple.
The soft-but-firm feel of them, the way they pucker up to be kissed, the knot of pent up tension under the palm of your hand - the way they seem to be straining forward for attention.
Nipples are lovely. I need to have some nipples to pay attention to.
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7
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Fifty Percent Women
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Posted:Nov 23, 2012 6:55 am
Last Updated:Dec 18, 2012 2:46 pm
14394 Views
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I realised today that I hadn't looked at the column which says "people who like this blog also like" for some time, so I looked.
Most of the people who follow my blog are women, and the first thing I noticed was that about 50 percent of the other blogs they also like are written by women. In the past it has sometimes been mostly male blogs but more often than not, when I have checked before, the list has featured a high proportion of women and it seems more pronounced now than ever. I'm not sure what that says about me, but moving on, I thought I should look at some of them as there seems a good chance I might find them interesting.
I didn't have a lot of time, so the first one I looked at was the one called "Private Ejaculations," by quaintwhore. I only had time to read three posts, but they caught my imagination, full of the kind of quirky writing I like, plus quotes from a song by The Kinks and stuff about lusting after a guy who had built a fairytale house in the woods. (I am in the middle of a big woodworking project at the moment, and I have always wanted to build a tree house luxurious enough to live in. But for the tree house first I have to earn the money to buy the land and then wait for the trees to grow...... )
But anyway, the last time she wrote anything was in July, and February before that, so I'm not going to get much out of following her blog am I? (Unless I read back and try living in her past, but that probably isn't a good idea, lol. ) Some of you guys must have been following this blog, so maybe someone knows whether she's likely to be back any time soon.
Maybe next week I should check out the others on the also liked list and see what I have been missing out on. Any recommendations anyone?
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6
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Camming, Anyone?
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Posted:Nov 21, 2012 2:43 am
Last Updated:Feb 12, 2013 12:45 pm
14113 Views
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Tigger commented on my previous post saying she preferred watching couples on cam rather than porn. I don't watch the cams very often, probably because I rarely find what I am looking for, (assuming I know, which perhaps I don’t) but when I do watch, one thing I have noticed is that I think it allows me to get to know something about the cammer much more quickly than I would by reading emails, blogs and profiles.
I realise of course that whilst the cammer might be pleased to have lots of viewers and comments, I am actually just a number on the screen to her and she probably isn't using that medium in an attempt to get to know me, lol, but I do find it exciting to know she is a real person with real thoughts and feelings. (I am always pleased if she has a blog, though from my limited experience it seems cammers mostly do not blog much. ) All this simply reinforces the realization that it is the process of knowing someone which I find attractive, and reminds me that however much I may wish I could just go out an get laid sometimes, it wouldn’t actually work very well for me. (The odd thing is that I do find promiscuity in women sexy, but perhaps that should be the subject of another post. )
I suppose I am mildly voyeuristic, and I like mildly exhibitionist women, especially if they seem comfortable with what they are doing.
But usually, on the AdultFriendFinder cams section, I get the feeling women are either trying too hard to look sexy - which can unfortunately give them an air of desperate attention seeker, and which doesn't really work for me - or they have an aloof "watch me if you want I don't care" attitude about them which also puts me off - hence I don't often watch. I suppose many guys watching cams don't really care much about how the woman they are watching feels, so I shouldn't be surprised that those women who do cam won't be looking to make contact with a man who would actually like to get to know them!
I suppose what I would like to see is more of a sort of confident entertainer who gets off on being watched, but also likes the idea that I am watching, and wants to be seen as a real person rather than a piece of meat. I suppose if I watched often enough I would come across someone like that, but usually I find the blogs more uplifting than the cams so I tend to spend my AdultFriendFinder time there instead.
I did once have a sexy on line relationship with a girl who liked to cam, and I admit it felt good when she would open up a private one-to-one IM with me and tell me what the other guys who were watching were saying, before closing the cam and talking to me on the phone. But that was different somehow - she is a very special woman.
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To link to this blog (hotdreamer1000) use [blog hotdreamer1000] in your messages.
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