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While I was Dreaming
Welcome to The Dreamery. There have been a few changes, but my blog is still simply a random series of Thoughts and fantasies, examining my past and my impossible future. Nothing on this blog is a lie. When I say nothing that follows is made up you can be sure it is the truth. Even the dreams are real dreams that I have had . And all the fantasies are my real fantasies.

There are however some questions which may never be answered:
Is it possible to actually laugh your arse off?
How sick is a parrot?
Are sandboys truly happy?
And just how mad is a box of frogs anyway?

And mostly, I do have it all in perspective!
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Are you brave enough?
Posted:Jul 23, 2007 7:19 am
Last Updated:Jul 25, 2007 3:20 pm

Well I don't usually have this kind of stuff on my blog, but willhe69you2 suckered me into participating in his [post 956879] so now I have to repost!

OK.....here's the deal. You can ask me three questions. ANY three questions, and I promise to answer them as honestly as humanly possible. They can be as mundane, obscure, embarrassing or sexual in nature as you want......doesn't matter. I'll still answer them honestly.

The catch is......

Are you brave enough?
Posted:Jul 20, 2007 3:46 am
Last Updated:Aug 15, 2007 3:06 pm

It has rained and rained all summer. And now here in the south it is forecast to be the rainiest day of the year yet. As I write the gutters are overflowing onto the porch roof outside my window, the water crashing down in torrents onto the wall below.

It reminds me of that night, so many years ago when I sneaked into Liz's bedroom at midnight in a thunderstorm. She was nearly asleep as I turned my key in the door that led into her room from the basement steps.
"Is that you?" she had said sleepily, and I answered with a breathless "yes - shhh." I had run all the way from my lodgings, but I was still soaked to the skin - it was bucketting down outside.

"Come and get warm," she whispered, turning towards me in her bed; I could just make out the smile on her face in the half light from the street lamp coming through the curtains. I threw off my clothes and slid under the covers beside her.
"Eugh you're all wet!" She exclaimed, laughing as she felt me against her skin. I wasn't thinking eugh though. She was warm, dry and silky smooth. My knee slid between her legs and I kissed her, feeling her heart quicken under her breast as our lips came together and her tongue pressed into my mouth. I closed my eyes and listened to her breathing and the rain falling, and there were no more words until after I was inside her and her arms were around me and we had become completely one.

Whenever it rains this hard I find myself remembering that time, one of those special moments in life which will never be forgotten, and I wonder, though we haven't spoken for decades, whether maybe she is sitting in her office somewhere, listening to the rain, remembering; transported back with me to that basement bedroom, with the rain and the railings outside and a smile on her beautiful face?
Cyber Relationships
Posted:Jul 9, 2007 2:12 am
Last Updated:Jul 20, 2011 4:57 pm

I was reading Amakamaria's blog today and she had written a post with a link to a poem by MrsMuffland, [post 928948] and it prompted me to write this, which I am reposting because I think it might be interesting to hear your views on the subject.

I agree so much about this, it is quite definitely possible to find very real relationships of whatever kind on the net, not just sex love dating and blogging friends etc. E.G. look at me and Willhe69you2: we have got this jokey teasing buddy buddy thing going on and yet I think I am the only guy on his blog and he's usually the only one on mine!

But I think there are potential pitfalls - it is also very easy to "make someone up" as I call it. I know for example, that I like you a lot Ama, but I expect there are parts of what I think I know about you that I have sub-consciously made up because I don't actually know. I think that can be dangerous, but I also think that it is something a lot of people do in real life without realizing that they have, and that leads to problems too when they get to know someone better and the blanks begin to fill in with things they don't like.

Are we all learning as we go along? I mean however much we hated our parents when they told us how to deal with relationships, they did have the advantage of having lived a lot longer than us and so they knew how life worked. There has been no one to tell us how online relationships work, and we are having to sort it out for ourselves as we go along. Maybe one day parents will have this conversation with their :

: "Mum, I met this great guy at a party yestarday, he's gorgeous!"
Mother: "You went to a party? Don't you know how dangerous those things can be?"
: "It's okay Mum, I do know how to behave! I didn't give anyone my real name!"
Mother: "Yes I know, but really Allyours23 darling - meeting people you don't know face to face - it can be terribly risky, you ought to at least read their blogs, or IM with them for a few weeks first. Parties attract all kinds of nasty people; you haven't even had a chance to email them before you are talking face to face, anything could happen!"
Bitch or Babe?
Posted:Jul 3, 2007 1:57 pm
Last Updated:Jul 26, 2007 2:51 am

Are you a Babe or a Bitch? Inspired by Willhe69you2’s [post 912161] I have prepared this little questionnaire for you to have some fun with. You don’t have to post answers to the questions if you don’t want to, just add up your score and judge yourself.......Bitch or Babe!

1. Your man has faults. Maybe he farts in bed, does endless bad Monty Python impressions or letches at all your girl friends. Do you:
A) Complain about him behind his back to your friends? (Minus 5 points)
B ) Put him down in front of your friends and complain about him to them while he is listening? (Minus 10 points)
C) Tell your friends how wonderful he is, glossing over the fact that he scratches his arse in public and that the last time you were making love he was watching football at the same time? (10 points)

2. Have you ever masturbated at work because your man made you so sex crazed you couldn’t wait? (5 points)

3. Have you ever masturbated at work because your man made you so sex crazed you couldn’t wait, then not wanted him when you got home? (Minus 5 points)

4. Resisted masturbating at work so you would be desperate for him when you get home? (10 points)

5. Have you ever:
A) Said you didn’t want chips when he was ordering, but then eaten half of his? (Minus 5 points)
B ) Ordered extra chips for yourself, and then told him “go on baby, you eat the rest of mine.” (5 points)

6. Arrived at his place early, done all his cleaning and washing for him, then
A) Complained to him that his place was a tip when he got in tired from work? (Minus 5 points)
B ) Complained his place was a tip but told him he was so sexy you forgave him, (5 Points)
C) Got so turned on doing all his cleaning and washing for him you needed instant sex the minute he got home? (10 points)

7. It is late. You are feeling sexy but your man is slobbed out on the sofa watching football. Do you:
A) Nag all night about how he prefers football over you and then wonder why it turns out that he actually does? (Minus 10 points)
B ) Sit next to him all evening trying to seduce him but ruining the game for him at the same time? (Minus 5 points)
C) Bring him a beer, tell him he’s a sweetheart and go to bed leaving him to enjoy the game. (5 points)
D) Bring him a beer, tell him he’s a sweetheart and then go to bed to work on the foreplay yourself so he can get straight down to business as soon as the game is finished! (10 points)

8. Have you ever written him hateful, character assassinating emails after he tried to be friendly to you on AdultFriendFinder but wouldn’t tell you his real name? (Minus 10 points)

9. Have you ever telephoned him long distance to have a massive orgasm for him whilst breathlessly describing the action? (10 points)

10. You are out with your man and you discover no one in your circle of friends really likes him. Do you:
A) Ditch him and tell the world he has a small penis? (If he really has a small penis, Minus 15 points, if he is reasonably well endowed Minus 10 points)
B ) Ditch him and deny you ever went out with him in the first place. (Minus 5 points)
C) Ditch him and tell all your friends he is a great lover and hung like a , (5 points)
D) Gaze at him adoringly, kiss him in front of everyone and tell them he is a great lover and hung like a . (10 points)

11. Your man cooks dinner, but the first mouthful tastes like burnt cat shit. Do you:
A) Tell him it tastes like burnt cat shit but he is so sweet it doesn’t matter, then give him a blow job to take the taste away while you wait for the take away to arrive? (15 points)
B ) Tell him it isn’t the nicest thing he’s ever cooked but then take him upstairs to bed claiming you were not hungry anyway. (10 points)
C) Tell him it’s lovely but you are on a diet (Minus 5 points)
D) Tell him his cooking sucks and then tease him about it all night until he gets mad and then you can blame him for the argument? (Minus 10 points)

12. You are in company and the conversation turns to sex. Do you
A) Smile knowingly at your man and enter enthusiastically into the conversation but say nothing about your relationship? (10 points)
B ) Give him a loving look and tell everyone he makes love to you every night even if it is not true. (5 points)
C) Roll your eyes and say "Mitch is always too drunk or too tired, I haven’t had sex for sixteen years," even if it is not true. (Minus 10 points)

70 and over: You are an all time top of the range Babe!
40 ‒ 70: You are pretty special, guys fall in love with women like you.
0 ‒ 40: At least you are the right side of zero, but you may often find men don’t really warm to you, though you can’t work out why.
0 ‒ Minus 20: You are no fun to be in a relationship with at the moment. You need to lighten up and embrace the masculine gender’s little foibles.
Minus 20 and below: You may be sexy, but you are also dangerously close to being a Bitch!
Mother Dilemmas
Posted:Jun 18, 2007 9:46 am
Last Updated:Mar 23, 2009 4:48 am

First can I just say that I don't wish to upset my loyal and generously kind female blog friends with this post - I know many women can be very sensitive to this issue, especially those who have pretty daughters! But on the other hand I know you always like to have a little insight into the strange workings of the male libido, LOL. So forgive me.....my thoughts are all hypothetical, and of course you guys are all far more attractive than your daughters! LOL

So I was in the supermarket car park, loading my shopping into the car when these two red hot chicks walked by.
(And man when I say they were red hot I mean they were steaming. There's a song about that.....)

Anyway in my current state of permanent arousal I was instantly on the alert. Which did I like best? Could I fall headlong in love with either of them and if so, shag her as if my life depended on it for hours and hours until she was reduced to a quivering post-multi-orgasmic jelly of satiated carnal desire?

Back on Planet Earth I suddenly realized I was looking at a mother - combo. Mother, forty, forty-twoish, beautiful darkish, maybe mildly greying bob of hair over fine cheek bones and an "I know how to make your cock throb with anticipation" smile, five feet eight inches, slim shoulders, flat stomach, wide hips, nicely toned legs and just all round oozing grown up sex. , maybe ninteen or twenty, taller, but slightly more rounded; all curves and perfect breasts, tight jeans low under a flash of smooth skin and a short T-shirt, eager playful "I'd let you teach me anything but I already know a lot" smile, five feet nine or ten; 100% gorgeous.

On Planet Dreamer, I am the sole object of their combined lust. I can have either of them, maybe even one after the other, but I can't make up my mind which first. I don't want them both at once so we won't go there. But each has her own special attractions. It all takes me back to when I was seventeen......

Next door, pretty girl, sixteen, just moved in. Very flirty, made me want sex nearly as much as I want it now. Leant provocatively over the garden gate in that way only a virgin who thinks she doesn't want to be one anymore but isn't quite sure how to go about it yet can. Me trying not to drool and wondering whether I should get involved when Mother, thirty-seven and UNBELIEVABLE in a dark green bikini comes round the corner asking if I would like to come for a swim in their pool. To quote Chuck Berry "She's lookin' like a model on the cover of a magazine." Well I must have looked like I had been hit round the back of my neck with a sandbag. For a moment I almost thought the mother fancied me. Looking back now I realize for sure she did. But it killed any chance I had with the ! The mother expected me to fancy the and was flattered to be able to turn my thoughts to her. Would she have gone through with it? Who knows. I was too young and lacking in confidence to try finding out. But the hated me...."What kind of guy could be interested in MY MOTHER? EWWWGH, that's gross!" I could feel her thinking.

Back in the supermarket car park thirty years later I couldn't help thinking this time it would have been the other way round. The expected me to fancy her. I might have been too old and not even her type, but it would never have bothered her if I had fancied her mother too, she had that cool knowing look on her face. They both smiled at me, but I didn't let the mother see what I thought of her ....For all her worldly experience, she wouldn't have liked it! All over in a moment, yet a lifetime's experience for all three of us in those few chemically charged seconds.

Strange business, life.
Lust At The Dentist
Posted:Jun 7, 2007 3:48 am
Last Updated:Jul 20, 2007 12:24 pm

You know things are bad when you find yourself thinking lustful thoughts at unexpected times.

I had to have a crown fitted to a broken tooth. So I'm at the dentist and he's all masked up drilling away, yanking painfully at my jaw and making a right mess in my gob.

Meanwhile, his assistant, who I had already noticed was not especially attractive, is also peering over me, suction tube shoved anywhere but where the saliva was making me gag, fully masked with only her eyes showing.

That's when I noticed the eyes. Bright blue warm sexy eyes. Two feet away from mine. I tried to look away but they drew me back. They were gorgeous. They appeared to be looking straight into mine although they were probably looking down my throat. I started to feel a familiar twitching in my pants. Nooooooo! Not now! Now is the last time I want to have all my nerve endings alert and sensitive! Was that a hint of a smile under the mask? I forced my eyes away and concentrated on the pain in my tooth.

I didn't look at the assistant on the way out. I didn't want to be embarrassed. She hadn't really looked at me like that, it was just further evidence that I need to get laid soon or I am going to do something rash!

Unless of course she has a pain fetish. Thank goodness I didn't think of that at the time.
Back, Refreshed.
Posted:May 29, 2007 3:14 pm
Last Updated:Jul 20, 2007 12:27 pm

So I'm back.

I had a really good realxing holiday.

I enjoyed reading about your usual day-time clothing, details of which you posted while I was away.

Its wonderful to see that some former blog friends are back too, one with some amazing news!

My email server has lost my account! Grrrrrrr.

Life seems more fun but even more complicated than ever; it must be my own fault, because after all, life is what you make it.

Now what?
Posted:May 29, 2007 9:52 am
Last Updated:Aug 23, 2011 2:38 pm

A Little Holiday
Posted:May 17, 2007 9:45 am
Last Updated:Jun 4, 2007 6:25 am

Just so no one worries about me, I thought I'd let you guys know I am having a little holiday next week and won't be back on line until the end of May. But don't worry, I'll be back!

Meanwhile I've got a question for you.

Do you have a kind of standard uniform of dress?
I tend to wear jeans and a T-shirt, with a rugby shirt ove r that and a jumper or a jacket if it's cold. I wear a suit if I have to to meet , otherwise it doesn't vary much. In fact even the casual shirt in my book-reading photograph is a bit unusual for me!

So apart from the clothes you are wearing in your profile photos, (sometimes there are not many on show lol ) what is your usual every day outfit?
Kiss Collection
Posted:May 14, 2007 8:34 am
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2007 2:11 am

Thanks to redrose19782 and mzhunyhole for inspiring this blog.

Some names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent, but nothing else that follows is made up.

Well we all have a kiss collection don’t we, whether we wanted one or not. I started mine in 1974 with the of a famous actor. Neither of us knew what we were doing but we liked each other and it felt good so I went with it.

After that I added to my collection from time to time, and actually some of the most memorable were with girls who never became girlfriends.
One evening I was walking through the streets of my home town just before Christmas, and a pair of giggling girls ran across the road to me and one asked “can I have a Christmas kiss?” She looked nice and her forwardness turned me on, made me feel sexy and masculine, so I said yes, expecting a peck on the lips. She put her arms round my neck and kissed me like as if she’d just had a multiple orgasm! (Back then I don’t think I would have known what one was even if she had, LOL ) Then she ran off, still giggling. I never saw her again, but she made a lasting impression.

Liz kissed so gently, and liked my tongue in her mouth rather than the other way round, but we learned each other’s feelings well and she was a perfect joy to kiss. She taught me what it feels like when somebody sucks on your tongue.

Jo-jo was so excited, like she was doing it for the very first time and wanted to learn it all in just a few minutes. We only ever kissed once but I still remember it. Jane mauled me like a tiger, mouth wide and frantic; clashing teeth and masses of tongue. She was exciting for a while, but it was too much, I couldn’t handle her. I will never forget the pain when she scratched my back till I bled.

The Lioness……it’s strange, I remember so much about her, but her kisses are a blur in my mind. I know she was beautiful to kiss. When I touched my lips to hers it was as if I was entering another world where nothing existed except us, where time stood still until we had almost become one person by blending our lips together. But how she felt physically to kiss? I honestly can’t remember. But I think the memory of how to kiss her would be there on my lips till someone taught me to kiss differently. I feel that my natural way to kiss would be the way I learned to kiss when I was with her.

I remember my first cyber-kiss, or should I say telephone kiss? It was something of both. She told me her lips were touching against mine, parting to let my tongue slide over hers, tasting me…..and I felt her lying there beside me, at one point I almost reached for her absent-mindedly, as if she was actually there. I never would have believed it would be possible to feel so connected to someone who was really so far away. Afterwards I wrote, mock Shakespeare, “Her love had lighted fires in my heart to melt the snows of all Antarctica.”

But the jewel of my kiss collection will always I think be Leanna. Oh Leanna, if only we could have understood ourselves better. She would rub herself against me, sinuously, like a cat when she kissed me. She seemed to draw energy from a kiss. It excited her so much that whenever we kissed she would begin to want me, right there, though she often resisted. Her tongue was soft and wide and flat, she gave it to me unhesitatingly from the first time our lips ever touched. She always tasted fresh somehow, as if she had just taken a gulp of cold air, and she tempted herself with her kisses, pushing herself to the limit of her will power, then drawing back, only rarely agreeing to make love. We fitted each other’s kisses perfectly and she was always just soft enough, just firm enough, just took enough control, but somehow asking me all the time with her lips; a kind of “where are we taking this?” feeling. Sometimes her deep blue eyes looked right into me as we kissed and the feeling turned my inside to jelly: it was as if she had reached in and taken my heart in her hand.

Can anyone share any gems or lumps of coal from their kiss collection?
Not writing about sex
Posted:May 11, 2007 3:50 am
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2007 2:12 am

This feels like a difficult post for me to write. You know how people on the blogs often say they have learned about themselves by being here and that their reasons for blogging have changed as they get more experienced in what blogging means to them?

Well I don't know if I have changed, but I have certainly felt better as a result of getting things I wanted to write about out in the open, and having new friends show their understanding makes any problem seem less important.

But I am beginning to wonder if I have also found out something about myself which I don't like and I don't know how to deal with.

All my life I have had a recurring problem in long term relationships. I always seem to end up with someone I love, but no longer want to have sex with. Not in the usual "after the initial chemistry has worn off" way which I think most people experience in one way or another, but more in a kind of "I couldn't possibly - it would be more like shagging my sister" sort of way. It is as if the better I get to know someone the more I begin to become almost embarrassed to be turned on by them. As you can imagine this is not good for the relationships!

One of the reasons I started my blog on AdultFriendFinder was because I felt I needed to be writing about and talking to people about sex. In a way my blog was a bit like a relationship: at first I couldn't think of anything else, I used to stay up late at night with it, and when I wasn't logged on I kept wondering what it was doing, whether I might have new readers and who might be leaving a comment.

And I wrote about sex. I always tried to keep it tasteful, but that is my way; mainly I like slow, gentle, caring sex, perhaps interspersed with moments of high passion, so that was how I wrote my blog. And people came and read it. (Maybe some people even read it and came! lol. )

You people. At least those of you who were reading me back then. And you people began to become my friends. And then something weird began to happen. The better my blog friends began to know me, the less I was inspired to write about sex. I have noticed also that the people I have known the longest, (ok with one important exception - you know who you are,) are the ones with whom I would now be most embarrassed to talk about sex. Why is that. I simply don't know, but it feels just how it feels to me in a long term relationship. So maybe if I am to crack this problem in life, I have to learn to crack it in the blogs, or if I can't crack it in the blogs at least use them to work out why it happens.

Why, when the most important thing to me with a friend or a lover is that they really understand me, that they care about who I am and what is important to me, do I become shy about sex with anyone who knows me well? Yet I can be as open and as sexy as you like with someone I have only just met?

While I work on this there may be less sexy stuff on my blog. Or maybe now I have identified the problem the juices will flow more strongly, so to speak.

Anyone with any ideas or Thoughts?
What Every Kiss Means
Posted:May 4, 2007 12:16 pm
Last Updated:Jul 4, 2007 1:58 am

What Every Kiss Means as found on Willhe69you2's blog from Lady_Dravendark's Blog.


Kiss on the stomach = Im ready
Kiss on the Forehead = "I hope we're together forever"
Kiss on the Ear = "Your my everything"
Kiss on the Cheek = "We're friends"
Kiss on the Hand = "I adore you"
Kiss on the Neck = "We belong together"
Kiss on the Shoulder = "I want you"
Kiss on the Lips = "I love you"


What the gesture means

Holding Hands = "We definitely love each other"
Slap on the Butt = "That's mine"
Holding on tight = "I don't want to let go"
Looking into each other's Eyes = "I just plain love you"
Playing with Hair = "Tell me you love me"
Arms around the Waist = "I love you too much to let go"
Laughing while Kissing = "I am completely comfortable with you"



Don't ask for a kiss, take one.
If you were thinking about someone while reading this,
you're definitely in Love.



Post this again after reading!!


Repost this as "what every kiss means"

If you LIKE, LOVE, OR MISS someone right now and can't get them out of your head then Re-post this within One Minute and Whoever you are missing will surprise you
Dreamer's Crucial Checklist
Posted:May 1, 2007 12:59 pm
Last Updated:Oct 25, 2011 11:25 am

Dreamer’s crucial (crumpet) checklist

This is it, the ultimate guide to the ideal woman according to Hotdreamer1000
I started writing this as a bit of a joke years ago, and when I mentioned it to a friend on AdultFriendFinder she said “that would make a great blog post” Then it turned into a kind of prose poem. So anyway, here it is.

My ideal woman should be well read and Simply Red,
Love books but never be bookish.
As much at home with Shakespeare as his Sister.
She loves The Rolling Stones and skimming stones,
She doesn’t have to be able to sing but she should be able to feel the music inside.

She has to be kind and understanding above all else,
But she can lose it sometimes if she wants to.
Can she have her own hopes and ambitions,
But still fall in love with my dreams?
She likes sitting at home among cushions
And walks beside rivers and streams.

She should dress sexy without knowing it and look sexy without trying.
No makeup. Or not that much.
She has to be able to bend with my mood but stand up to me if I go too far,
A shelter in a storm, but a lover not a mother.
She calls me at night;
She’s in between the dark and the light.

Looks don’t count for much if I love her
But could she be, say, five foot eight or ten
Have captivating eyes and long flowing curling hair?
Darkish blond or lightish brown. Not black.
(My sister’s is black, I can’t face it!)
Unless she’s a black woman I suppose!

There’s a shape I love but I just can’t describe,
Not too thin but not flabby either.
Toned but curvy, especially round the hips.
Could be anywhere from tiny to big with this shape.
Oh and not too big a mouth, but with slightly full lips.
She wears jeans and t-shirts and purple skirts
And boots.

She’ll tell me when I’m wrong
But still be on my side,
She’d never lie
She’d love to look in my eyes.

If this is you then maybe we should get in touch. Or are we already?

To link to this blog (hotdreamer1000) use [blog hotdreamer1000] in your messages.

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