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Blurred Mail Makes Me Question All Kinds of Things  

hotdreamer1000 60M
9102 posts
12/17/2015 3:27 am

Last Read:
1/7/2016 11:38 pm

Blurred Mail Makes Me Question All Kinds of Things


I can't read on site emails, they have gone all blurred. Why is this important, I hear you ask, when I always say that I am mainly just here to blog and not really here to meet anyone?

Despite the fact that I say on my profile (which I have never updated since I wrote it ten years ago by the way) that I am not really here looking to meet, I have on occasion broken this rule, and I have made some very special friends here, and also fallen in lust a few times. And in love too. So I am not against getting in touch with people. I'm just naturally cautious as to who they are, reluctant to make the first contact, and slow to open up about all my reasons for blogging here.

Some of you know the details of the reasons for this, but not everyone. Probably a lot of people don't care. But since one of the things I have always valued in life is being understood, I don't like the idea of someone frustratedly wondering what I am all about, or reading my blogs under false apprehensions.

Once or twice recently I have thought about writing a post entitled "Dreamer, the Full Story," but in the end I have decided against it, like I always do. Because once it is out there, you can't take it back. You can't ever be sure you can delete, or who might have read it, saved it, where it might appear in future, and I'm not sure I want that.

(I know this is a bit crazy, given some of the true stories I have written about events longer ago in my life, formative and memorable sexual exploits included. But one or two aspects of life are harder to explain, more sensitive and seem different somehow. But what I have always said is that if anyone I know well enough from blogging were to write and ask, I will always answer. )

There is usually plenty of evidence of the resulting friendships in the Christmas messages section of my blog.

Anyway, I have recently had some mail from a blogging friend which I would like to reply to, but I haven't been able to read it because it is blurred out.

I read some stuff about this a while ago, and I know it is a change of policy from the site organisers. At the time I thought, oh well, I am a standard member, and I don't want to pay to upgrade. (Not especially because of the money, but because I just really don't want to put my credit card details on a site like this. I know a lot of you have done and everything has been fine, but that is a rule I am not going to break. Also, I absolutely know for sure that gold membership would get me into trouble, and I am protecting myself from that. For now at least. ) So I have to accept I can't complain about the rules.

But I can see why the gold members are pretty fed up about it - they have paid their money to have full access to the site's facilities, then written to me, but I can't reply.

This also bugs me because I don't want them to think I am ignoring them! I once had mail from a blogger friend saying she was leaving the site, but asking me to reply so she could send me an off site address if I wanted to keep in contact. I was away at the time and didn't log in until after she had closed her profile, and she never replied to my reply and has not been back since, so I guess she thought I didn't care about her enough to want to stay in touch. Which wasn't true. That still bugs me and it was years ago.

I have been trying to work out how to use my points to open emails but without success, other than to use them all to upgrade to gold for a month, which I don't want to do. So unless some one can tell me the way round this, I am stuck.

I suppose I could put up one of those private posts. But then I still wouldn't be able to reply confidentially to anyone, as I have to use the quote button.

So anyway, all this has made me think harder about why I am here, what I want from life and this site and all kinds of things, which seems to have lead to me writing this rather rambling post.

But if you have written to me, I am not ignoring you, I just can't read what you have said!
Dreamer.

hotdreamer1000 60M
11653 posts
12/17/2015 8:45 am

    Quoting  :

Well, I don't have any direct information about the people who run the site, but it seems to make sense to me to remember to be cautious.


hotdreamer1000 60M
11653 posts
12/17/2015 8:51 am

    Quoting Darling_Annette:
    As with all your posts, this was interesting and heartfelt and touched on things i identify with too.

    But one thing you mentioned isn't correct. You said "I suppose I could put up one of those private posts. But then I still wouldn't be able to reply confidentially to anyone, as I have to use the quote button" When people have a private postbox, they NEVER use the Quote button to reply as that does make the reply public. We use the Respond button, which keeps everything private and confidential. Send a message to me (see link at my signature) and you'll see ...

    So i would recommend you set up your own Postbox. Also, for all Standard members it is also worth turning Top Fan ON (doesn't have to display, just be on as a participant) because then if a Gold member Fans you, they can send you a readable message. You can then correspond back and forth indefinitely. To illustrate, I've become a Fan of yours and you'll be able to read the message i send you, and you can reply.

    Anyway, that's enough for now ... Bye ... xx Annette

Thanks Annette, and thanks for being my fan. I see that the respond link does indeed work - I am sure it used not to! For private posts that is perfect, although for main blogging I like to be able to read all the comments and replies because sometimes it leads to an interesting thought thread, so I will probably continue to use "quote. "


MyNameIsKay 58F  
11808 posts
12/17/2015 9:33 pm



You're cute when you're frustrated!

Swim...Bike...Done


hotdreamer1000 replies on 12/18/2015 2:08 am:
Hi Kay, thanks for the smile! I was going to say "then I must be cute a lot of the time" as a joke, but I decided not to because it carries the wrong impression. Yes I am frustrated because I hate not knowing what was written to me, but for the most part I am pretty content. Apart no sex. That is still a bummer. But as it is, generally speaking, in a round about sort of way, my own choice, I try not to allow it to affect me.

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