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Can it become too much?  

hotdreamer1000 60M
9101 posts
9/19/2017 7:55 am

Last Read:
12/19/2017 12:45 pm

Can it become too much?


Can on line dating give you choice fatigue?

I am asking this not from a position of participation, but more as a people watcher.

As you know, I like being tempted, but also I am resisting temptation. I would need a separate life in which to be a sex-hungry slut-seeker, but as I have only one life and I am happy with it, I have decided there are good reasons not to be one.

Choice fatigue is a recognised marketing phenomenon, which you will probably have experienced. You are in the supermarket buying toothpaste, but they do not have your usual brand so you decide to try something else. You now find that there are literally hundreds of different types of toothpaste, even within the same brand. Your mind begins to glaze over, and you find it requires a significant effort of will to make a choice. This is choice fatigue, and it has been recognised by business a factor which can seriously influence sales. Some people will now walk away from non-essential items rather than buying them, if there is too much choice. Some people can find themselves unable to make up their minds about almost everything. The reasons are not fully understood, but it is thought to be partly due to a fear that you may choose something inferior when there might have been a better choice if you had only looked further afield, or spent more time choosing, or made sure you had evaluated all the options.

Can this apply to sexual partners? or more importantly to long term relationships? You swipe right, you swipe left (or so I am told. ) You send bling, flirt, text and go on a date. But why commit when there could be something better next week? Don't fuck - it might become a relationship, you might be stuck without the option to re-choose. After a while you can't even date, you find faults with every profile before you have even read it. Every email has a fatal flaw. You feel like Jerry Seinfeld. You may have developed deep seated, irreversible choice fatigue.

I know, I know, the easy response would be to say "pfft, chance would be a fine thing!"

But seriously, thoughts anyone?

sexysixties2 72F  
38886 posts
9/19/2017 10:45 am

Not much chance of choice fatigue here....there are very few Irish men within my preferred age range. It is also rather difficult to make any considered choice...based on a mere dick pic!!!

"Age does not protect you from love, but love, to some extent, protects you from age."

~~Anais Nin~~


hotdreamer1000 60M
11652 posts
9/19/2017 11:22 am

    Quoting sexysixties2:
    Not much chance of choice fatigue here....there are very few Irish men within my preferred age range. It is also rather difficult to make any considered choice...based on a mere dick pic!!!
Hmmm. Are you sure you haven't just already got dick-pic fatigue?


Readmoreofeveryt 47F

9/19/2017 11:27 am

Nah because they either stand out as something special or they don't and most don't because I have what I need guy wise and girls just arnt interested in being a unicorn and I understand why because I've been one twice.


BiggLala 48F  
28366 posts
9/19/2017 11:45 am

Choice fatigue permeates almost every aspect of western society, what's we commonly refer to as 'first world problems'. Think about a couple or group of friends discussing where to go out to eat, or even what to cook for dinner. No, I'm not in the mood for that. I had that yesterday/for lunch. I don't like _______ (insert type of cuisine).

We're so spoiled for choice that we end up not choosing. This definitely applies to dating. I don't suggest just choosing anything or be treated in a manner not befitting to what one will accept. However, there does come a point where if a person is always looking for the BBD, they'll never be satisfied....because of course, we've been given the 'never settle' mantra for several decades. Then again, many people are also quick to jump into serious relationships before truly knowing who we're getting with.

Basically...we're all screwed up! LOL!

Need a way to message ALL members?...click here for helpful instructions in setting up a private messaging blog post.


hotdreamer1000 60M
11652 posts
9/19/2017 12:50 pm

    Quoting Readmoreofeveryt:
    Nah because they either stand out as something special or they don't and most don't because I have what I need guy wise and girls just arnt interested in being a unicorn and I understand why because I've been one twice.
Okay, thanks, that's very interesting. How can you tell someone is special from a quick overview?


hotdreamer1000 60M
11652 posts
9/19/2017 12:55 pm

    Quoting BiggLala:
    Choice fatigue permeates almost every aspect of western society, what's we commonly refer to as 'first world problems'. Think about a couple or group of friends discussing where to go out to eat, or even what to cook for dinner. No, I'm not in the mood for that. I had that yesterday/for lunch. I don't like _______ (insert type of cuisine).

    We're so spoiled for choice that we end up not choosing. This definitely applies to dating. I don't suggest just choosing anything or be treated in a manner not befitting to what one will accept. However, there does come a point where if a person is always looking for the BBD, they'll never be satisfied....because of course, we've been given the 'never settle' mantra for several decades. Then again, many people are also quick to jump into serious relationships before truly knowing who we're getting with.

    Basically...we're all screwed up! LOL!
Yes, the don't settle mantra Vs the don't be always looking for something better. Screwed like you say!

It's funny you mention what to have for dinner. I went out for dinner with my cousin the other day - he was staying over on his way to a work meeting the next day. He said we should go wherever I recommended as it's my home town, but then he didn't like my choices so we spent the next thirty minutes walking round the town centre looking at all the menus and prevaricating, until in the end we went to the same place we went last time he was here!


Heathen_G 61M
7864 posts
9/19/2017 6:19 pm

Can on line dating give you choice fatigue? .... No. The "Fatigue" comes from dealing with people [women] too afraid to meet in person and then allowing them more online-time until they get to the point of pretending they know you well enough to meet you.

You are in the supermarket buying toothpaste, but they do not have your usual brand so you decide to try something else. ..... The reason this is not "Choice fatigue" is because you're dealing with people, not inanimate objects on a shelf. The fatigue comes from dealing with personalities.

If anything, if all you're seeing is vagina pictures and penis pictures, then sure...."Fatigue"... but not "Choice" fatigue. Instead, you're experiencing "Repetition" fatigue.

Can this apply to sexual partners? ... It could if you actually had hundreds to choose from, but the average person doesn't .

or more importantly to long term relationships?.... No . The problem with long term relationships is sensory dulling.



You send bling, ... Don't do that. All you're doing is contributing to your own low self esteem.

flirt, text and go on a date. ... Yeah, if you're going on a date, you should be getting laid. If you're not getting laid, then you're not "Dating".

But why commit when there could be something better next week? ....Well yeah!! What the fuck are you doing "Committing"!?

Besides you'd be an idiot to commit to a woman you find on a sex site. She isn't here to commit to one man, even though she might say she is.
She, actually her body, is getting way too much attention from men , to commit to just one man. "Attention" and "Validation" is a serious addiction for a woman.

Don't fuck - it might become a relationship, you might be stuck without the option to re-choose.
.... No . Actually you should be fucking all the women you can get. Learn to separate emotion from fucking, at will.

A "Fuck" should never be the reason you want to be in a relationship. In fact, today, there really is not benefit for a man to put himself into a committed relationship.

After a while you can't even date, you find faults with every profile before you have even read it.
... That's no big deal. You're just learning to trash those you don't want.

Don't use just one dating site to find your women , for your harem.


hotdreamer1000 60M
11652 posts
9/20/2017 2:35 am

    Quoting Heathen_G:
    Can on line dating give you choice fatigue? .... No. The "Fatigue" comes from dealing with people [women] too afraid to meet in person and then allowing them more online-time until they get to the point of pretending they know you well enough to meet you.

    You are in the supermarket buying toothpaste, but they do not have your usual brand so you decide to try something else. ..... The reason this is not "Choice fatigue" is because you're dealing with people, not inanimate objects on a shelf. The fatigue comes from dealing with personalities.

    If anything, if all you're seeing is vagina pictures and penis pictures, then sure...."Fatigue"... but not "Choice" fatigue. Instead, you're experiencing "Repetition" fatigue.

    Can this apply to sexual partners? ... It could if you actually had hundreds to choose from, but the average person doesn't .

    or more importantly to long term relationships?.... No . The problem with long term relationships is sensory dulling.



    You send bling, ... Don't do that. All you're doing is contributing to your own low self esteem.

    flirt, text and go on a date. ... Yeah, if you're going on a date, you should be getting laid. If you're not getting laid, then you're not "Dating".

    But why commit when there could be something better next week? ....Well yeah!! What the fuck are you doing "Committing"!?

    Besides you'd be an idiot to commit to a woman you find on a sex site. She isn't here to commit to one man, even though she might say she is.
    She, actually her body, is getting way too much attention from men , to commit to just one man. "Attention" and "Validation" is a serious addiction for a woman.

    Don't fuck - it might become a relationship, you might be stuck without the option to re-choose.
    .... No . Actually you should be fucking all the women you can get. Learn to separate emotion from fucking, at will.

    A "Fuck" should never be the reason you want to be in a relationship. In fact, today, there really is not benefit for a man to put himself into a committed relationship.

    After a while you can't even date, you find faults with every profile before you have even read it.
    ... That's no big deal. You're just learning to trash those you don't want.

    Don't use just one dating site to find your women , for your harem.
I am sure others reading this will find it just as interesting as I did, and very revealing. Thanks for your input.


hotdreamer1000 60M
11652 posts
9/21/2017 2:10 am

    Quoting rainbowsox:
    I know there's better. around the next corner
    Cus' every time I turn one. There she is
    Better then before

    But I get. What you're saying
    I have the same probs. When picking panties
    So I just go. Without!

    Love,
    Mrs. XXXX'
H, that's naughty. Even when you're teaching?


Violette001 48F
4497 posts
9/25/2017 7:22 am

If i could no longer get my favorite toothpaste, i'd get pretty upset! lol i used to think i was fickle, because i could never stick to one brand, i wanted to test everything out and never found a need to stick with any because they were all pretty much the same. Then, i found one i fell in love with and voila! i'm not longer a slut! i committed to that one toothpaste, and i'd be lost without it. so what if my favorite toothpaste's life comes to an end? would i go back to slutting with the others i already tested out? no... i'd branch out into new worlds... like the internet crap, that you can't be so sure about... latest thing that's showing up on my fb feed all the time, is some kinda 'dirt' that makes your teeth shiny white!

yes... i've got all kinds of fatigue. lol

"Do not put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket"
--Author Unknown



hotdreamer1000 60M
11652 posts
9/25/2017 3:58 pm

    Quoting Violette001:
    If i could no longer get my favorite toothpaste, i'd get pretty upset! lol i used to think i was fickle, because i could never stick to one brand, i wanted to test everything out and never found a need to stick with any because they were all pretty much the same. Then, i found one i fell in love with and voila! i'm not longer a slut! i committed to that one toothpaste, and i'd be lost without it. so what if my favorite toothpaste's life comes to an end? would i go back to slutting with the others i already tested out? no... i'd branch out into new worlds... like the internet crap, that you can't be so sure about... latest thing that's showing up on my fb feed all the time, is some kinda 'dirt' that makes your teeth shiny white!

    yes... i've got all kinds of fatigue. lol
You caught me feeling very horny V and you using the words "slut" and "slutting" twice in one comment really turned me on!


Violette001 48F
4497 posts
9/26/2017 7:17 am

    Quoting hotdreamer1000:
    You caught me feeling very horny V and you using the words "slut" and "slutting" twice in one comment really turned me on!
Good thing you didn't use Lube as an example then! rofl

but then again, i re-read what i wrote and it could mean a lot more than toothpaste. lol

"Do not put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket"
--Author Unknown



hotdreamer1000 60M
11652 posts
9/26/2017 10:08 am

    Quoting Violette001:
    Good thing you didn't use Lube as an example then! rofl

    but then again, i re-read what i wrote and it could mean a lot more than toothpaste. lol
That's kind of what I was thinking! Although knowing you, I guessed you weren't deliberately using toothpaste as a metaphor for men. But who knows what was in the back of your mind..........


Violette001 48F
4497 posts
9/27/2017 9:36 am

    Quoting hotdreamer1000:
    That's kind of what I was thinking! Although knowing you, I guessed you weren't deliberately using toothpaste as a metaphor for men. But who knows what was in the back of your mind..........
lol no, i wasn't using toothpaste to mean men. mostly because i haven't found my perfect toothpaste yet. i mean man. lol

but, the toothpaste experience i related was actually true. Same with a brand of soap, shampoo, lotion, etc. i hate the endless choices in the stores because you never know what's good, and you also know in the back of your head that the most affordable ones are total crap. But you also know that the high end stuff could be just as as full of crap. When i found my ideal personal care products, it was amazing how much stress was taken off my shoulders... i could just walk past everything on the shelves and say: "Ha, don't need you anymore! i've got the best one already!" lol

"Do not put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket"
--Author Unknown



hotdreamer1000 60M
11652 posts
10/2/2017 10:16 am

    Quoting Violette001:
    lol no, i wasn't using toothpaste to mean men. mostly because i haven't found my perfect toothpaste yet. i mean man. lol

    but, the toothpaste experience i related was actually true. Same with a brand of soap, shampoo, lotion, etc. i hate the endless choices in the stores because you never know what's good, and you also know in the back of your head that the most affordable ones are total crap. But you also know that the high end stuff could be just as as full of crap. When i found my ideal personal care products, it was amazing how much stress was taken off my shoulders... i could just walk past everything on the shelves and say: "Ha, don't need you anymore! i've got the best one already!" lol
Yes, I get that with all kinds of things, shoes, brands of T shirts, fishing gear.......

But I do think it could apply to relationships too!


hippiechick1967 41F
12074 posts
10/11/2017 8:15 pm

Oh man, choice fatigue?
That explains a lot.

Elevate me...


hotdreamer1000 60M
11652 posts
10/12/2017 11:38 am

Ha ha ha! Hello Chick, great to see you!


author51 57F  
94409 posts
10/17/2017 10:09 am

I choose not to get fatigued unless it is with the one man of my choice.. I stopped meeting because it was becoming too overwhelming. I have only come from long term relationships so am very choosy with men on here.I still have a lot of fun looking at all the choices though....lol.

One can never have enough JOY in their life...


hotdreamer1000 60M
11652 posts
10/17/2017 3:31 pm

    Quoting author51:
    I choose not to get fatigued unless it is with the one man of my choice.. I stopped meeting because it was becoming too overwhelming. I have only come from long term relationships so am very choosy with men on here.I still have a lot of fun looking at all the choices though....lol.
Hi there, good to see you! Yes, I know what you mean, always fun looking.

Obviously I wasn't entirely serious with this post, but on the other hand, I do wonder when there is soooo much potential choice, whether people can kind of forget what it is they are rreally looking for.....


marysia4u 64F
15362 posts
10/24/2017 3:36 pm

I do not like a lot of choice. Could be.... buying something in a shop or what to pick from a menu. I don't go much into believing star signs, but I am a Libran, and one thing we are well known for, is not being able to make a decision.

When it comes to men.... I've had a few bad experiences, so I know what I'm looking for, so that part of decision making is easy.


hotdreamer1000 60M
11652 posts
10/25/2017 7:29 am

    Quoting marysia4u:
    I do not like a lot of choice. Could be.... buying something in a shop or what to pick from a menu. I don't go much into believing star signs, but I am a Libran, and one thing we are well known for, is not being able to make a decision.

    When it comes to men.... I've had a few bad experiences, so I know what I'm looking for, so that part of decision making is easy.


What if there were five or six guys and they all matched up to what you might be looking for? lol!


marysia4u 64F
15362 posts
10/25/2017 1:47 pm

    Quoting hotdreamer1000:
    What if there were five or six guys and they all matched up to what you might be looking for? lol!
I would have to try them all out. Not all at the same time though.


hotdreamer1000 60M
11652 posts
10/26/2017 9:48 am

    Quoting marysia4u:
    I would have to try them all out. Not all at the same time though.


Same as Violette with the toothpaste then? Lol!


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