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How A Woman Can Understand a Man  

hotdreamer1000 60M
9102 posts
12/6/2016 4:38 am

Last Read:
12/12/2016 12:30 am

How A Woman Can Understand a Man


Bigglala set me thinking. (I bet I am not the only person to have had that happen. )

She had a post up recently which digressed off into wondering about the perceived differences between men and women's attitudes to sex. Her parting words were, " I do my best to understand................but boy is it tough."

This set me thinking..........

Like her, I always try to understand what is going on, what someone's motivation and desire is about, where it comes from. And from my own point of view, I always think what I crave most from other people is to be understood. But now that I have actually stopped to think about it, in a high proportion of what I would consider the deepest and most intensely satisfying sexual relationships I have had in life, I really didn't understand the woman I was with at all. In fact in the case of The Lioness, for sure, her unfathomableness was definitely part of the charm. And in that amazing relationship, I felt able to be totally myself, not to worry about what she thought, because although didn't I understand all that much of it, what I knew was that we wanted to be together above all else, and that was all that mattered. And I didn't even mind that I didn't really know why she wanted to be with me - the fact that she wanted me was enough. Over time, although I never did understand her in any logical way, I got her on a more fundamental, basic level, rather than being able to consciously rationalise her personality.

"He's a complicated man, and no one understands him but his woman......"

I have a friend who is going through a mess with her husband. We've been friends for a long time, before she met him. She sometimes asks me (as do other female friends ) for my masculine perspective on his motives. Sometimes I can give one. Sometimes I can only say, well, that's what I would be thinking, but of course I am not him, and people say sometimes I think like a woman. But what I don't say, at least not in such blunt words, is that sometimes I wonder whether the problem is not that she doesn't understand him, or that he doesn't love her enough, but just that she doesn't really love him enough. If she did, maybe she wouldn't need to understand. That's the vision which goes through my mind when I listen to "Shaft." He's a complicated man, but he's got this woman who just gets him. It's not that she really understands him any better than anyone else, it is more that she doesn't need to.

We don't like it when our dogs stop to eat some old rotting piece of crap they find lying about. We don't understand it at all. It doesn't stop us loving them though.

Perhaps, though it goes against the grain for me, what I need is to just be really instinctively close to someone, but maybe I don't necessarily need to completely understand them......Maybe that might apply to more people than just me.

sexysixties2 72F  
38886 posts
12/6/2016 12:43 pm

I think we sometimes struggle too much to understand people....if you really love them (as with our beloved dogs) there is more acceptance than complete understanding.

"Age does not protect you from love, but love, to some extent, protects you from age."

~~Anais Nin~~


hotdreamer1000 60M
11653 posts
12/6/2016 1:55 pm

    Quoting sexysixties2:
    I think we sometimes struggle too much to understand people....if you really love them (as with our beloved dogs) there is more acceptance than complete understanding.
Yes, that's sort of what I was thinking. Thanks for the comment.


KItkat1415 58F  
19985 posts
12/6/2016 1:55 pm

    Quoting sexysixties2:
    I think we sometimes struggle too much to understand people....if you really love them (as with our beloved dogs) there is more acceptance than complete understanding.
I read a book on dogs and how they think.
So for me, Yes, I do need to understand that man I'm with a bit...
and no, I don't think that "loving him without understanding him" necessarily works out, either.

In the case of the blogger here, I think he was just awesomely in the right place with the right person at the right time.
kk

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BiggLala 48F  
28374 posts
12/6/2016 5:16 pm

Ha! I'll comment about this on my post where the discussion began...cuz...I don't want to be rude and take up too much space on your blog. I'm greedy, but not THAT greedy!

Need a way to message ALL members?...click here for helpful instructions in setting up a private messaging blog post.


hotdreamer1000 60M
11653 posts
12/7/2016 2:07 am

    Quoting BiggLala:
    Ha! I'll comment about this on my post where the discussion began...cuz...I don't want to be rude and take up too much space on your blog. I'm greedy, but not THAT greedy!
Hey Bigglala, I look forward to reading your thoughts where the discussion began, but you are always welcome to take up blog space here any time.


hotdreamer1000 60M
11653 posts
12/7/2016 2:11 am

    Quoting KItkat1415:
    I read a book on dogs and how they think.
    So for me, Yes, I do need to understand that man I'm with a bit...
    and no, I don't think that "loving him without understanding him" necessarily works out, either.

    In the case of the blogger here, I think he was just awesomely in the right place with the right person at the right time.
    kk
Hi there Kltkat, thanks for reading. I guess like everything else, it depends on who you are and how you feel - everyone is different, and what works in one relationship may not work in another.

As to the relationships of "The Blogger Here" (they call me Dreamer, ) you are right: I was just awesomely in the right place with the right person, but sadly, it was at the wrong time, lol.


author51 57F  
94580 posts
12/10/2016 9:22 am

The only thing I need to understand about the man I choose to be with is that he chose me to be with and vise versa...I am not one to overthink or over analyze any relationship.We get to know each other in different ways without explanation or understanding why.

One can never have enough JOY in their life...


hotdreamer1000 60M
11653 posts
12/12/2016 12:30 am

    Quoting author51:
    The only thing I need to understand about the man I choose to be with is that he chose me to be with and vise versa...I am not one to overthink or over analyze any relationship.We get to know each other in different ways without explanation or understanding why.
Yes, I think many people could find relationships work better that way.


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