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Teach a Young Man Sex?  

hotdreamer1000 62M
9639 posts
8/17/2021 9:18 am

Last Read:
9/28/2021 12:43 pm

Teach a Young Man Sex?


I have serious questions.

I read a fascinating post on another blog recently regarding the subject of teaching partners about sex.

Anyone who has read my blog for a while will know that I had a very formative experience with a woman I blogged about a lot in my early day here, and who I called "the Lioness." (If you weren't reading then or want a reprise key posts are for example say: First Orgasm, reposted and A Night in Grey Satin Sorry if they seem a bit wordy - I was in wanna be writer mode, lol.)

Nowadays I am kind of off the market, (at least in any respect other than virtually) although it doesn't stop me wishing I had a chance of another experience like that. I have noticed that in dreams and fantasies there is often a certain amount of learning and teaching between me and my Dream Lovers. Sometimes they are beautiful women of my own age or thereabouts, sometimes they are younger, sometimes we are both younger, lol. (I often find I seem to be about thirty in my dreams.) But nearly always the understanding between us is that we each need to learn about the other in bed. And I love that.

The blogger whose post I was reading had been asked by a much younger man if she would consider meeting, with a view to teaching him from the benefit of her experience. But she respectfully declined, saluting him for his openness and willingness to learn, but saying teaching young men about sex was not in her bag of kinks.

So here are my questions:

Why would an older woman not be interested in a younger man? (Other than simple preference and always assuming she liked him in another ways of course.)

What would it be about his younger age which would turn her off rather than on?

Could it be related to a desire to be with someone more capable - in the same way that sometimes younger women like an older man?

Or would it be more to do with the sheer number of years in a large age gap - making compatibility of interests and attitudes so much less likely?

I have met younger women (who may or may not have been interested in me) with whom I had so little common mentality that even sex would have been lacking in communication, and that would never be a turn on for me. But I have met others who were beautifully in tune with the way my mind works and I would like to have had the chance to learn and teach with them.

I suppose one thing which might worry me now if I was with a much younger woman would be whether I was still fit enough, still good looking enough, whether I could feel relaxed and sexy enough, whether I could get hard enough often enough to live up to my role as mentor, if such a role was required. But I think that is largely paranoia, lack of confidence and being a bit out of practice. I reckon in the right hands, if we clicked and she really wanted me, I would soon spring back to life!

So is that different for women?

hotdreamer1000 62M
12244 posts
8/17/2021 9:19 am

In case of the Glitch:

I have serious questions.

I read a fascinating post on another blog recently regarding the subject of teaching partners about sex.

Anyone who has read my blog for a while will know that I had a very formative experience with a woman I blogged about a lot in my early day here, and who I called "the Lioness." (If you weren't reading then or want a reprise keys posts are for example say: First Orgasm, reposted and A Night in Grey Satin

Nowadays I am kind of off the market, (at least in any respect other than virtually) although it doesn't stop me wishing I had a chance of another experience like that. I have noticed that in dreams and fantasies there is often a certain amount of learning and teaching between me and my Dream Lovers. Sometimes they are beautiful women of my own age or thereabouts, sometimes they are younger, sometimes we are both younger, lol. (I often find I seem to be about thirty in my dreams.) But nearly always the understanding between us is that we each need to learn about the other in bed. And I love that.

The blogger whose post I was reading had been asked by a much younger man if she would consider meeting, with a view to teaching him from the benefit of her experience. But she respectfully declined, saluting him for his openness and willingness to learn, but saying teaching young men about sex was not in her bag of kinks.

So here are my questions:

Why would an older woman not be interested in a younger man? (Other than simple preference and always assuming she liked him in another ways of course.)

What would it be about his younger age which would turn her off rather than on?

Could it be related to a desire to be with someone more capable - in the same way that sometimes younger women like an older man?

Or would it be more to do with the sheer number of years in a large age gap - making compatibility of interests and attitudes so much less likely?

I have met younger women (who may or may not have been interested in me) with whom I had so little common mentality that even sex would have been lacking in communication, and that would never be a turn on for me. But I have met others who were beautifully in tune with the way my mind works and I would like to have had the chance to learn and teach with them.

I suppose one thing which might worry me now if I was with a much younger woman would be whether I was still fit enough, still good looking enough, whether I could feel relaxed and sexy enough, whether I could get hard enough often enough to live up to my role as mentor, if such a role was required. But I think that is largely paranoia, lack of confidence and being a bit out of practice. I reckon in the right hands, if we clicked and she really wanted me, I would soon spring back to life!

So is that different for women?


lindoboy100 58M
23884 posts
8/17/2021 10:15 am

Errrm, yeah, so........

I'm looking for a new fly line, I like a DT6 Floating, it's all I ever use, call me set in my grumpy old ways........any recommendations? I've done the research, prob want to spend about £40 squid on it because I've found in the past that if you go much higher it tends not to make much diff.

Also, cricket was pish, eh?

Also, what were you saying before??

Nada más que fallas......


lindoboy100 58M
23884 posts
8/17/2021 10:17 am

Oh aye, well, on the odd occasion I've been with much younger women (15+ yrs) I found that we were a good match sexually but a bit apart intellectually, so the relationships were short lived.

Nada más que fallas......


smartasswoman 64F  
35211 posts
8/17/2021 11:37 am

I had a fairly long term FWB who was 20 years younger and I actually didn't feel that self conscious about it. A mature and settled 38 year old and a 58 year old don't have to be that different. But all the same I couldn't see a long term future in it as I kept thinking about 'what about when he's 60 and I'm 80?'. THAT seems like a major difference.

One other thing, the flaw in a younger man thinking that an older woman will be able to teach him, is that every woman's preferences are different. I could tell him exactly how to best please me and it could end up being all wrong with the next woman he met. Basically it's something you have to go through with every new partner.


Naughtypursuit 54F  
2735 posts
8/17/2021 1:02 pm

For me there has to be some personality compatibility regardless of age.

To be with a younger man there has to be a maturity level there for me, (that also goes for older men ) otherwise its just awkward. I'm probably more selfish about my own pleasure now then worrying about teaching someone about sex. There is nothing appealing about an eager young man who thinks pawing you is a turn on of course being pawed by an older man is also not a turn on.

I have been with younger men and it has been great but these men have a confidence level and maturity level that has made it pleasurable.


hotdreamer1000 62M
12244 posts
8/17/2021 1:33 pm

    Quoting lindoboy100:
    Oh aye, well, on the odd occasion I've been with much younger women (15+ yrs) I found that we were a good match sexually but a bit apart intellectually, so the relationships were short lived.
Yes, I think that can be a problem. Although I tend not to get that far unless there is some kind of mental connection, whatever the age or age gap.


hotdreamer1000 62M
12244 posts
8/17/2021 1:46 pm

    Quoting lindoboy100:
    Errrm, yeah, so........

    I'm looking for a new fly line, I like a DT6 Floating, it's all I ever use, call me set in my grumpy old ways........any recommendations? I've done the research, prob want to spend about £40 squid on it because I've found in the past that if you go much higher it tends not to make much diff.

    Also, cricket was pish, eh?

    Also, what were you saying before??
Ha ha, well I can understand you slightly dodging this one Lindo, no problem - the question wasn't really meant for you!

As to fly lines, I have the same problem myself. I had a worn out 10 weight spey line which I really had to replace and even a fairly budget priced Rio set me back over a hundred quid for a new one. It was worth it though, casts nicely.

As for trout lines, I'm in the same boat as you - I'm still using lines I've had so long I can't even remember where they came from! I'd like to get new ones - if I did replace them I'd like to spend no more than fifty quid each, but only what I would expect to be very poor quality options seem to be available at lower prices these days. I have a light number 3/4 rod for small streams and a nine foot No 5 I use for most things and a 6 I normally take to Scotland. I've recently got hold of a lovely eleven foot light double hander that takes a 7/8 and it casts pretty well with some old eight weight DT floater I found at the back of my tackle cupboard - again no idea but I expect it was dirt cheap, so maybe it really doesn't matter!

A friend of mine bought some seconds in a Sportfish sale last year, and he says the flaws are insignificant - mainly just faded colours, but they sold out quick and I never even saw the advert!

Anyway, I believe there are other on line forums where you might get a better answer to this question!


hotdreamer1000 62M
12244 posts
8/17/2021 3:07 pm

    Quoting smartasswoman:
    I had a fairly long term FWB who was 20 years younger and I actually didn't feel that self conscious about it. A mature and settled 38 year old and a 58 year old don't have to be that different. But all the same I couldn't see a long term future in it as I kept thinking about 'what about when he's 60 and I'm 80?'. THAT seems like a major difference.

    One other thing, the flaw in a younger man thinking that an older woman will be able to teach him, is that every woman's preferences are different. I could tell him exactly how to best please me and it could end up being all wrong with the next woman he met. Basically it's something you have to go through with every new partner.
Yes I agree - all of that makes perfect sense. But in this case I don't think either party was considering the idea as a long term prospect - I got the impression it would have been a once or twice, or at most an on going no strings thing. But you do touch on an important point - maybe the very thing a young man most needs to learn, (not necessarily from an older woman) is that every woman is different.


hotdreamer1000 62M
12244 posts
8/17/2021 3:13 pm

    Quoting Naughtypursuit:
    For me there has to be some personality compatibility regardless of age.

    To be with a younger man there has to be a maturity level there for me, (that also goes for older men ) otherwise its just awkward. I'm probably more selfish about my own pleasure now then worrying about teaching someone about sex. There is nothing appealing about an eager young man who thinks pawing you is a turn on of course being pawed by an older man is also not a turn on.

    I have been with younger men and it has been great but these men have a confidence level and maturity level that has made it pleasurable.
Yes In agree - except I think sometimes I find younger people more in tune with how my mind works. You could say I am young at heart, or maybe it's just that I am a bit immature, so whatever the reason I often quite like younger company, lol.

I have seen your picture before quite a while ago I think. Did we correspond then? Or did you blog previously under another name?


Milfhunter4fun33 18M
15 posts
8/17/2021 4:13 pm

I was lucky for my 16th birthday a neighbor who was 47 gave me my first sexual encounter a nice blow job. I was shy and awkward but almost 2 years with lots of playtime once sometimes twice a week I became very comfortable and confident with older woman. She taught me that women like to pleased in many ways and while I am still exploring and still learning I do have more maturity and a sense of finding out what they like.


Naughtypursuit 54F  
2735 posts
8/17/2021 5:58 pm

    Quoting hotdreamer1000:
    Yes In agree - except I think sometimes I find younger people more in tune with how my mind works. You could say I am young at heart, or maybe it's just that I am a bit immature, so whatever the reason I often quite like younger company, lol.

    I have seen your picture before quite a while ago I think. Did we correspond then? Or did you blog previously under another name?
I have always been under this profile name and had this picture as my profile picture. While I have uploaded new pictures I have kept my profile picture. I was told of someone from the US that was using my profile picture but I know at least that person was banned by the site for a bit.

We have not corresponded before that I recall unless you went under a different name.

Nothing wrong with being young at heart or being immature at times, as long as you step up and be responsible when needed at least in my humble opinion. I think there is a big difference though in dynamics between younger men with older women and younger women with older men.


Naughtypursuit 54F  
2735 posts
8/17/2021 6:01 pm

    Quoting hotdreamer1000:
    Yes In agree - except I think sometimes I find younger people more in tune with how my mind works. You could say I am young at heart, or maybe it's just that I am a bit immature, so whatever the reason I often quite like younger company, lol.

    I have seen your picture before quite a while ago I think. Did we correspond then? Or did you blog previously under another name?
I did blog more frequently but am now starting to delete my blogs before the conversion.


jc_powerman 61M
214 posts
8/17/2021 7:55 pm

I was 15 when when my next door neighbor who was 33 years older then I who to me under her wing and took her time in instructing me about joys sex. . I never regretted that time what great memories I have of her.


hotdreamer1000 62M
12244 posts
8/17/2021 11:39 pm

    Quoting Naughtypursuit:
    I have always been under this profile name and had this picture as my profile picture. While I have uploaded new pictures I have kept my profile picture. I was told of someone from the US that was using my profile picture but I know at least that person was banned by the site for a bit.

    We have not corresponded before that I recall unless you went under a different name.

    Nothing wrong with being young at heart or being immature at times, as long as you step up and be responsible when needed at least in my humble opinion. I think there is a big difference though in dynamics between younger men with older women and younger women with older men.
"I think there is a big difference in dynamics between younger men with older women and younger women with older men." This is really what my questions were about - can you put into words what that difference is?


hotdreamer1000 62M
12244 posts
8/17/2021 11:40 pm

    Quoting Milfhunter4fun33:
    I was lucky for my 16th birthday a neighbor who was 47 gave me my first sexual encounter a nice blow job. I was shy and awkward but almost 2 years with lots of playtime once sometimes twice a week I became very comfortable and confident with older woman. She taught me that women like to pleased in many ways and while I am still exploring and still learning I do have more maturity and a sense of finding out what they like.
Lucky indeed! Thanks for posting.


hotdreamer1000 62M
12244 posts
8/17/2021 11:43 pm

    Quoting jc_powerman:
    I was 15 when when my next door neighbor who was 33 years older then I who to me under her wing and took her time in instructing me about joys sex. . I never regretted that time what great memories I have of her.
This didn't happen to me, but it is not an uncommon story, and I'm glad to hear you have good memories and no regrets. I am waiting to hear more from some of the women who read this blog - maybe they have similar experiences, and can shed some more light on what this situation is like for them.


hippiechick1967 57F
13154 posts
8/18/2021 1:47 pm

I'm not a cougar in that I don't prefer men 20+ years younger than me but I do actually like slightly younger men, like 5 years or so. I know, I know that's pretty much the same age. The problem is I have boys that are 28, and anyone near that age is still a child to me. As we age, we naturally begin to see younger people in that place, as "young enough to be our child," which is obviously a turn-off for most people. I don't understand it when I see these creepy older men with girls young enough to be their daughters or even granddaughters. How do they turn the creepy button off?

Elevate me...


hotdreamer1000 62M
12244 posts
8/19/2021 2:50 am

    Quoting hippiechick1967:
    I'm not a cougar in that I don't prefer men 20+ years younger than me but I do actually like slightly younger men, like 5 years or so. I know, I know that's pretty much the same age. The problem is I have boys that are 28, and anyone near that age is still a child to me. As we age, we naturally begin to see younger people in that place, as "young enough to be our child," which is obviously a turn-off for most people. I don't understand it when I see these creepy older men with girls young enough to be their daughters or even granddaughters. How do they turn the creepy button off?
I totally understand how if you have children, even if they are grown up, anyone their age seems like a child to you. Having no children of my own, I hadn't thought of that. It is an interesting point. I imagine no one would be particularly worried if I was with a woman of say forty, despite that being a fairly large age gap. I certainly wouldn't be put off. BUT, I have a niece who is forty now. I don't think I would be attracted to one of her friends as a lover - like you with your image of your grown up children, maybe I would see her as too young.

But I think people's view of creepiness is often a bit subjective, and may depend on their own preferences and past experiences. It is hard not to imagine yourself in someone else's position - so if you are a twenty year old woman who finds fifty year old men unattractive, you may think your best friend's older lover is creepy, even if she doesn't.

When you say "how do you turn the creepy button off?" do you mean how does an older man manage not to feel creepy if he is with a younger woman, or do you mean how does a young woman turn off the feeling that the old guy must be creepy? I think how sensitive people are about "creepiness" in general has a lot to do with their viewpoint. I vividly remember being at a party in my twenties, and seeing a pretty girl of about my own age. All I did was go up to her and ask if I could get her a drink, and her exact words were "get away from me you creep." Ten minutes later, thankfully realising she must have had issues of her own to be quite so quick to take offense, I found myself staring unconsciously at another girl with stunning legs in a very short skirt. I suddenly thought, "oh no, am I really being creepy?" When I looked up at her face she was smiling at me. We got into conversation, ended up in bed together, and although our relationship didn't last that long we became, and still are lifelong friends to this day. So perhaps creepiness, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder?

Obviously in those cases, there was no age difference, but if there is a genuine connection, then I really don't think age matters, older man / younger man, whichever it is. Women can be creepy too. Creepy comes about whenever one person is trying to get something the other doesn't really want to give, either secretly, coercively, or manipulatively.


BiggLala 49F  
30139 posts
8/20/2021 6:41 am

maybe the very thing a young man most needs to learn, (not necessarily from an older woman) is that every woman is different
-Personally, I don't think this is specific for young men, I think every man needs to learn this (I'm sure women also). To your point, people learn each other individually. Yes, we might use the information we learn going forward, but I don't think we should apply what we learn in a forceful, blanket manner. Rather, we can try things on new partners while understanding--and respecting--differences.

I also wouldn't be interested in a man whose sole purpose of being with me is for me to teach him things, but that isn't simply because of his age. Older people don't inherently have knowledge or experience JUST because they're older. Age doesn't necessarily bring experience, experience brings experience.

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MyNameIsKay 60F  
11875 posts
8/22/2021 5:23 pm

Why would an older woman not be interested in a younger man?

I've been with a couple of men that were 20+ years younger, and the issue for me is that they think they know what they are doing but don't really. Or maybe I should say, they think they know what is important, but what I think is not the same. For me, it's the whole experience from the start of "hello" online to the sweet kiss goodbye at the end of the night. For men in their younger years (30s), it's only about the sexual act and not the entire experience. Even if they seem to like me more than just for the sex, the way they carry themselves and/or behave towards me is immature...for lack of a better word.
(An example would be if we have a meet and greet and he walks in front of me instead of beside me.) I find that men figure this "whole experience thing" out in their 50s.

Swim...Bike...Done


hotdreamer1000 62M
12244 posts
8/23/2021 8:15 am

    Quoting BiggLala:
    maybe the very thing a young man most needs to learn, (not necessarily from an older woman) is that every woman is different
    -Personally, I don't think this is specific for young men, I think every man needs to learn this (I'm sure women also). To your point, people learn each other individually. Yes, we might use the information we learn going forward, but I don't think we should apply what we learn in a forceful, blanket manner. Rather, we can try things on new partners while understanding--and respecting--differences.

    I also wouldn't be interested in a man whose sole purpose of being with me is for me to teach him things, but that isn't simply because of his age. Older people don't inherently have knowledge or experience JUST because they're older. Age doesn't necessarily bring experience, experience brings experience.
Spot on Lala, and yes, good point about not wanting to be with someone whose sole purpose was to be taught - I had not even considered that!


hotdreamer1000 62M
12244 posts
8/23/2021 8:21 am

    Quoting MyNameIsKay:
    Why would an older woman not be interested in a younger man?

    I've been with a couple of men that were 20+ years younger, and the issue for me is that they think they know what they are doing but don't really. Or maybe I should say, they think they know what is important, but what I think is not the same. For me, it's the whole experience from the start of "hello" online to the sweet kiss goodbye at the end of the night. For men in their younger years (30s), it's only about the sexual act and not the entire experience. Even if they seem to like me more than just for the sex, the way they carry themselves and/or behave towards me is immature...for lack of a better word.
    (An example would be if we have a meet and greet and he walks in front of me instead of beside me.) I find that men figure this "whole experience thing" out in their 50s.
Hi Kay, good to see you.

So your comment is really interesting - I think I have always ended up being interested in the whole person; the whole experience - even when in younger years, when dare I say it, my drive for a sexual encounter was......er......less well controlled!

So you are saying that in your experience most men only learn this in their fifties? Wow. Also I notice that this is something men learn......from that do I take it that you mean the men learn that this is what women want, so they try to provide it, or do you mean that they actually learn they want more from the experience too?


MyNameIsKay 60F  
11875 posts
8/29/2021 1:20 pm

    Quoting hotdreamer1000:
    Hi Kay, good to see you.

    So your comment is really interesting - I think I have always ended up being interested in the whole person; the whole experience - even when in younger years, when dare I say it, my drive for a sexual encounter was......er......less well controlled!

    So you are saying that in your experience most men only learn this in their fifties? Wow. Also I notice that this is something men learn......from that do I take it that you mean the men learn that this is what women want, so they try to provide it, or do you mean that they actually learn they want more from the experience too?
That last sentence...I think it's both. Men stop being in a rush and finally take their time with a woman and then realize that the whole experience is worth the effort whether or not it's a one-time or ongoing thing.

Swim...Bike...Done


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