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Two Arses  

hotdreamer1000 60M
9101 posts
4/18/2014 2:32 pm

Last Read:
5/3/2014 1:32 am

Two Arses


I haven't been feeling myself recently. And I don't mean I have given up masturbation. I wish I could. I don't mean I have been trying to, I just mean I wish I had less need of it. Although in fact I haven't been feeling at my sexiest recently either. Maybe it's connected?

Anyway, those who know me know I am a curious mixture of very easy going, and fairly volatile. And recently my volatile side has been bubbling up to the surface more often in a way I don't like. I am frustrated by small things seemingly trying to go wrong all the time, and by people expecting me to go out of my way to help them as a matter of course while they remain the centre of their own selfish worlds. It is making me into a frustrated angry person I don't want to be.

My mood wasn't helped when I went to cut the grass at a sports ground I help to look after and found that some arse had let the tyres down on the set of gang mowers we use. All six of them as flat as Miley Cyrus' stomach. (I was going to say "as flat as "E"'s chest," but it would have been harsh, untrue and anyway, you know how acerbic she can be and I don't think I could have faced the come back she would inevitably have thought up for me. She has gorgeous tits really, not that I have seen them in the flesh, but even covered by a bikini they look great. But I digress.)

What possesses these people? (The tyre letters down, not the gorgeous lesbian women. ) I mean he must have sat there poking a finger nail into the valves just enjoying listening to the air coming out and laughing to himself thinking about how annoyed whoever uses the mowers was going to be. I guess I should feel sorry for someone whose only source of Good Friday entertainment is letting tyres down. Fortunately, having had the experience of flat tyres before, I had cunningly left a foot pump in the shed. It only took me half an hour to pump them up again.

A bright spot occurred on my way home however when I spotted another, extremely fine arse walking along the street in front of me. It was pert, perfectly formed, and clothed only in skin tight leggings under which it quivered like a lemon and lime jelly as if it had a mind of its own. I am normally more of a breast lover, but this was a particularly nice example. It was attached to a pleasant looking girl with a knowing expression who looked as if she should be rogered forthwith and forced to orgasm incessantly to within a moment of sensory overload. Probably is being by someone very lucky right this moment as I write. Bastard.

domandginger 61M/61F
7299 posts
4/19/2014 12:39 am


I smiled at the analogy ( oh the word anal..is in that word.. how apt!!)
of lemon and lime jelly....
Xx

Ginger


hotdreamer1000 60M
11652 posts
4/19/2014 12:57 am

    Quoting domandginger:

    I smiled at the analogy ( oh the word anal..is in that word.. how apt!!)
    of lemon and lime jelly....
    Xx

    Ginger
I don't know why, but that's what it made me think of!


hippiechick1967 41F
12074 posts
4/19/2014 10:32 am

Look at the bright side - at least they didn't slash the tires. It would have been much more of a hassle rectifying that.

Elevate me...


sexysixties2 72F  
38886 posts
4/19/2014 11:56 am

Jealousy of the bastard rogering her will get you nowhere...it will just mean more masturbation.

"Age does not protect you from love, but love, to some extent, protects you from age."

~~Anais Nin~~


tigger678902 53F  
4549 posts
4/19/2014 1:13 pm

mmm those bright spots make up for a lot!!

Good girls go to heaven,....Bad girls go EVERYWHERE!
I love to travel

Come visit my blog tigger678902


hotdreamer1000 60M
11652 posts
4/23/2014 3:33 am

    Quoting  :

That's a good point Peter. If it was fetishery and not arseholery, then, horrible as that smell may be, and not something which would have turned me on, in the spirit of AdultFriendFinder I forgive them.


hotdreamer1000 60M
11652 posts
4/23/2014 3:34 am

    Quoting hippiechick1967:
    Look at the bright side - at least they didn't slash the tires. It would have been much more of a hassle rectifying that.
I know, the thought had occurred to me.


hotdreamer1000 60M
11652 posts
4/23/2014 3:35 am

    Quoting sexysixties2:
    Jealousy of the bastard rogering her will get you nowhere...it will just mean more masturbation.
Fair comment, but actually it wasn't jealousy, more envious day dreaming admiration. I only called him a bastard for comic effect.


hotdreamer1000 60M
11652 posts
4/23/2014 3:36 am

    Quoting tigger678902:
    mmm those bright spots make up for a lot!!
It was a bright one.


hotdreamer1000 60M
11652 posts
4/23/2014 3:38 am

    Quoting rainbowsox:
    I was taught my ABC's, I just never got past "B"!!!! I would say they are incredible, but that would be narcissistic and pretty much untrue. I mean, if you like gentle hilly areas as opposed to more mountainous regions, I guess they are OK. All I know is that I can sleep on my tummy without any problems!!!!

    As to the nefarious evil doer; you ought feel bad for the poor chap, what a tiny little pecker he must have to be having, at least protected, sex with your tires (protected because tires are made of rubber... bwah hah hah!!!!).

    Leggings are to butts as wonderbra's are to boobs!!!!

    Love,
    -E'
I do rather like gentle hilly areas in fact. And I find the idea of women sleeping on their tummies very sexy for some reason.


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