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The Down and Dirty
 
Eclectic Thoughts and Experiences
Keywords | Title View | Refer to a Friend |
Ridiculous BDSM Notions
Posted:Feb 10, 2015 8:05 pm
Last Updated:Mar 6, 2015 9:59 pm
24293 Views
50 Shades of ridiculousness, more like it. It’s at a fever pitch it seems. Everywhere I go, on TV and on the radio, the hype around the movie is building. Today on the radio I’m hearing songs from the sound track, and yesterday I heard the most ridiculous thing. Well that’s my take on it, you judge for yourself.



Many movies have a cult like following of fans… go to a release of a Star Trek or Star Wars movie, and you are sure to see some Vulcan ears, Klingons, a Storm trooper or Yoda here and there. And of course if you go to the granddaddy of them all, the Rocky Horror Picture Show, you are going to see a few Dr. Frank N. Furter, Magenta, etc. So guess what theater owners and managers are concerned about in middle-America… you guessed it… fans of 50 shades are going to turn up in their favorite BDSM garb. They are so concerned about it that some theaters are apparently warning patrons not to show-up in costume or else.

If someone showed up looking like this, could they claim to be in a Star Trek costume?



Thoughts

25 Comments
Workplace Benefits Package
Posted:Feb 9, 2015 5:16 pm
Last Updated:Feb 17, 2015 8:32 pm
27114 Views
Most jobs come with perks, and what better benefit for all us lovers of sex, than a little kink at work.

Down in Brazil, 3 women showed up at the Nova Mutum prison to make the guard’s day a little less mundane. The ladies were fully decked out in dominatrix costumes, were packing some adult beverages, and convinced the guards to let them in to party down. You can see were this is going can’t you? The 3 ladies partied with the guards, engaged in a little BDSM style orgy role play… and the guards ended up drunk, drugged, stripped and handcuffed. The ladies then proceeded to release 28 prisoners from jail.



The guards have been relieved of duty, and are facing charges connected to guns and ammunition some of the escapees stole.

What do you think… should anyone else suffer the consequences of this SMAFU, like the guard’s immediate supervisor, or the prison warden?

If sex play at work was offer as part of your benefits package, would you partake?

If a random opportunity presented itself to get down with that co-worker you have been having naughty thoughts about, and you could have a tryst in the workplace with no real chances of getting caught, would you do it?
27 Comments
Your “A” game
Posted:Feb 7, 2015 2:05 pm
Last Updated:Feb 9, 2015 6:16 pm
25526 Views
Everyone got game... but what your show stopper?

What's that one special thing you do, when you want to bring the house down and give your partner that big climax?

20 Comments
Coming to a Location near you
Posted:Feb 5, 2015 8:44 pm
Last Updated:Feb 9, 2015 5:46 pm
27452 Views
Valentine’s Day is approaching, so the stores are getting all decked out to appeal to all the hopeless and hopeful romantics. I’m in the supermarket; in the midst of all the chocolate hearts I see something I thought was peculiar… a display for book.

A few hours later, I see a movie trailer for a movie that will debut on Valentine’s Day… normally a movie trailer would not cause me to want to blog, but the movie would be based on the aforementioned book. Nothing says Valentine’s Day like 50 Shades of Grey.



Thoughts
29 Comments
Are you in Control?
Posted:Feb 4, 2015 5:12 pm
Last Updated:Feb 9, 2015 5:36 pm
27810 Views
If you have read my blog for any length of time you know I’m not shy about giving my opinion, and I can be a little bit on the confrontational side… ok maybe more than a little bit. I’m one of those people who doesn’t see confrontation as a bad thing; it’s usually how we learn from each other… disagree, discuss politely and learn. Now there are some people who just don’t care to engage in polite behavior; it’s just pointless to discuss anything with them, they tend to be closed minded, opinionated, all about themselves, like to stir shit up, and are generally a black whole of negativity.

A post by blog friend and petitandnaughty entitled Saying nice things about men, has inspired this post. In her post she is making a conscious effort to speak about the good men, and the good interaction she has had with said men. A few other things were said in the post, you should really go and read it, and leave a comment as I did… when I left my comment, I had one of those moments, (few for me), where I was able to speak my mind succinctly. My comment was, “It always occurs to me... if we let the negativity (or expected negativity) of others control our actions; we are giving them what they want.”

Now, you may or may not be like me, I have what can best be described as a kind of “Fuck That” mentality. Let me explain. I think we should treat other’s how we want to be treated, the golden rule. People around me who have done this online thing longer, preach to me that you can’t do that, you can’t and shouldn’t do things like respond to people who message you on dating sites, when you are not interested in them. My attitude is, “Fuck that, I’m responding to everyone who messages me, in a polite manner with an earnest inquiry”. And I do. On the vanilla site I have been frequenting (which turns out to be not so vanilla), I respond to every message I get. I do it here on AdultFriendFinder, including the polite intelligent messages from men, who are checking to see if I want to switch teams. In the real world if someone approaches me and tries to engage me in conversation I will respond, so why am I going to be different here. I control me, and how I behave, and I refuse to allow anyone else to do so.

Many ladies started out responding to every message; if that was you, you are who I would like to speak to. If you are the type of individual who ignores people who approach you face-to-face and try to engage you in polite conversation, because you just can’t be bothered, (you know who you are), this conversation is not for you. I could argue the point with you about why you should, but… For the rest of you, why do we let fools, trolls, asshats, whatever you want to call them, alter our behavior? I get that it can become like a part time job (responding to messages), that people don’t read profiles, etc… but those messages you delete, because the” wana fuck” tribe frustrates you, could be the unicorn you were looking for. If the “wana fuck”, “get off the site people” make you change your behavior, make you become so closed that you stop reading messages, they have succeeded, because you have kind of partially removed yourself from the site by altering your pattern. Why let them suck your positivity, and polite nature out of you? Why let them bring you down to their level? Stand your ground!



Let’s, stop writing about the negative people… I know I know, I have done it too. When they come with ignorance, ignore! If you are up to responding, then do so in a way that displays your strength, and conveys “you can’t rain on my parade”. If you don’t have the words, send them a smile, a Thank you, and block. Don’t do yourself the disservice of allowing them to drain your positivity and polite good natured demeanor. Just remember, every message from a troll brings you closer to a message from the unicorn you are looking for… provided you don’t delete the message before you read it.

Thoughts
27 Comments
The Perfect Kiss
Posted:Jan 28, 2015 5:10 pm
Last Updated:Feb 7, 2015 2:10 pm
29346 Views

New Order - The Perfect Kiss

I stood there beside myself,
Thinking hard about the weather
Then came by a friend of mine
Suggested we go out together
Then I knew it from the start:
This friend of mine would fall apart
Pretending not to see his gun,
I said "let's go out and have some fun"
I know, you know, you believe in a land of love
I know, you know, we believe in a land of love

I have always thought about
Staying here and going out
Tonight I should have stayed at home,
Playing with my pleasure zone
He has always been so strange,
I'd often thought he was deranged
Pretending not to see his gun,
I said "let's go out and have some fun"
I know, you know, we believe in a land of love
I know, you know, we believe in a land of love

When you are alone at night
You search yourself for all the things
That you believe are right
If you give it all away
You throw away your only chance to be here today
Then a fight breaks out on your street
You lose another broken heart in a land of meat
My friend, he took his final breath
Now I know the perfect kiss is the kiss of death

I grew up a big fan of the late 70’s, 80’s and 90’s group New Order… well first they were Joy Division (Love will tear us apart), until Ian Curtis took his life, then they became New Order.

I got one of their songs (the Perfect Kiss) stuck in my head a few days ago… I started thinking about the perfect kiss. Is it as the song surmises… the perfect kiss is “the kiss of death”. Is it the last kiss? Or is it the first kiss… the first time you kiss someone? Should your eyes be open or closed? Should it be soft and lingering, or passionate and intense? Long, short or somewhere in the middle?

What is the perfect kiss like for you… can you describe it?








29 Comments
The Virtual Symposium: The One Piece of Advice I’d Give
Posted:Jan 23, 2015 9:13 pm
Last Updated:Feb 23, 2015 6:58 pm
31194 Views
The best advice I ever got… well it wasn’t really advise more of a realization… but if I had to put it into words it would be “Live and enjoy what you have, when you have it, because it can just be taken away without warning”.



Let me back up a bit, to explain.

I met an AdultFriendFinder member for coffee, a little over a month after I joined. We didn’t communicate much before the meeting, so there was a lot to talk about when we met, but I potentially fit the bill for what she was looking for and I’m all about meeting… it’s when the rubber really meets the road, so just get it done. Anyway when we met I was in for a few surprises… for one she looked much better and sexier than the picture she had sent me. We had had a lot of similar life and career experiences, and I found talking to her was like talking to an old friend. Our conversation lasted over 3 hours with no awkward pauses… it was that long because we got on that well, and I think it was partly by design on her part, because she didn’t want to scare me away. There were some peculiar kinks to her sex play, by what she explained along the way, many would be participants are scared off. One of the strange things that afternoon, is even though we were there to discuss fucking each other’s brains out, (we were both down for it, the attraction was there), very little of our conversation was about sex.

Now as for this ladies particular kinks… she was a submissive, who was given assignments from time to time by her D… her current assignment was to engage in an ongoing thing with someone who had my particular hue. The trysts would primarily be one-on-one but there would be some MFM, and gang-bang action on occasion. Now the D would never be present for any of this, she was in a long distance D/s relation, (the D lived somewhere in the southern United States). I would have to work out with the D via e-mail, what was going to happen from encounter to encounter, without her knowledge of what was coming. Did I mention she was married and that everything including MFM and the gang-bang action would be bareback… and there were several other twists of lessor importance. I was intrigued by this woman, and I very much liked the person I had met that afternoon, even though the whole setup scared the bejesus out of me. My head was spinning thinking about it all. She did mention, I was the first person that she was good with, who she actually got to completely explain the setup to, (all the other said “no thanks” before the end).

I started asking questions about the bareback… there would be testing before hand, and then an honor system, that helmets would be put on all soldiers when involved in any extracurricular activities. The husband: they do not engage in any physical intimacy, he declined to participate when she began exploring her sexual limits, but he is aware of her activities. The D and all the particular activities he is fond of having her experience in the past was also discussed. Then I asked her how long we would be engaged in our activities. She said it would continue as long as I’m still interested in continuing or the D decides the assignment is over. I was taken aback by this, I said to her… “we could do all this stuff together, be having the best sex of our lives, and he could just end it just like that”. She responded, “that’s life”. As I sat there with a bewildered look on my face, she explained… “you can plan everything in your life, and everything is just going along swimmingly, then out of nowhere some unknown force you can’t control can just come and take it all away, just like that”. “That’s why you have to enjoy every moment of what you’re doing and what you have”. It took a few minutes for me to fully ingest her point of view, but it made sense to me; a kind of light bulb moment.



So the best advice I'd give, is to “live and enjoy what you have, when you have it”
42 Comments
Testify – Your Story
Posted:Jan 23, 2015 3:50 pm
Last Updated:Jan 31, 2015 3:44 pm
26201 Views
With the new AdultFriendFinder layout, I have been touring around the new UI trying to figure where everything is. A few days ago, before the change, I found some amusing stuff at the bottom of the page and posted about it, so a return visit was in order.

Low and behold, more amusement waiting for me at the bottom of the web page. It was probably there the whole time and I just missed it… but at the bottom of the page there is a link to share your “Success” story. I click through, and there are happy smiling faces all speaking of the amazing success they have had on AdultFriendFinder, finding that “right” partner, and living all their fantasies. For sure the page exists to minimize post purchase dissonance, so the experience of that handful of people is not likely to be representative of the AdultFriendFinder experience… or maybe it is.



Here is your chance… write a testimonial of your AdultFriendFinder experience for me. Give me the good, the bad and the ugly.

16 Comments
Something Cool
Posted:Jan 22, 2015 2:17 pm
Last Updated:Jan 26, 2015 12:03 pm
26200 Views

Yesterday, fellow blogger susanbak posted to my blog, something I found pretty cool. With her permission I want to share it with you.

Blessed are those who are flexible for they won't get bent out of shape.

18 Comments
Under Construction
Posted:Jan 21, 2015 3:30 pm
Last Updated:Jan 31, 2015 3:38 pm
26856 Views


Agree?
24 Comments
Tolerance
Posted:Jan 20, 2015 6:53 am
Last Updated:Jan 31, 2015 2:41 pm
27633 Views
The ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with

Interest in and concern for ideas, opinions, practices, etc., foreign to one's own; a liberal, undogmatic viewpoint.

Are you tolerant?

Why or Why Not?


32 Comments
Rain
Posted:Jan 19, 2015 3:31 pm
Last Updated:Jan 31, 2015 2:48 pm
24667 Views
Hot sticky scenes, you know what I mean
Like a desert sun that burns my skin
I've been waiting for her, for so long
Open the sky and let her come down

Here comes the rain
Here comes the rain
Here she comes again
Here comes the rain

Hot sticky scenes, you know what I mean
Like a desert sun that burns my skin
I've been waiting for her for so long
Open the sky and let her come down

Here comes the rain
Here comes the rain
Here she comes again
Here comes the rain

I love the rain
I love the rain
Here she comes again
Here comes the rain

Oh, rain
Rain
Rain
Rain
Oh, here comes the rain

I love the rain
Well, I love the rain
Here she comes again
I love the rain

Rain
Rain


10 Comments
She's a Cool, Blonde, Scheming bitch
Posted:Jan 18, 2015 1:26 pm
Last Updated:Jan 22, 2015 2:10 pm
24353 Views
This is a rambling post, to talk about how far we have come, and how low we have sank. It just kind of came to me after a song got stuck in my head.

Provocative title isn’t it? It made you want to read this… peaked your curiosity, you maybe even expected some AdultFriendFinder drama. It’s actually the opening words from a song that just got stuck in my head, as I was reading some posts. You should really UTube High School Confidential by Rough Trade, to get the full vibe of these lyrics.



She's a cool blonde scheming bitch
She makes my body twitch
Walking down the corridor

You can hear her stilettos click
I want her so much I feel sick
The girl can't help it, she really can't help it now

It's like a highschool, highschool confidential
A highschool, highschool confidential

Teenage Brandos stalk her in the halls
They tease her with cat calls
She's a combination Anita Eckberg Mamie van Doren

Dagmar high school confidential
A highschool, highschool confidential

What's the principal doin' with her?
Who's that guy, is he screwing with her?
What's her perfume? Tigress by Fabergé
She makes me cream my jeans
When she's coming my way

High school, high school confidential
A highschool, highschool confidential

She drives a candy pink Cadillac
If I don't get her soon, I'll have a heart attack
When she flashes me a look I wanna burn my book
Give up high school

High school, high school confidential
A highschool, highschool confidential
A highschool, highschool confidential
A highschool, highschool confidential

In 1980 this song was really pushing the envelope of acceptability. Others like Mary-Anne Faithful (Why D’ya Do It), pushed a little too far too fast, and got shut down quickly. What the song writing team of Rough Trade front lady Carole Pope and band mate Kevan Staples was able to do, was to skillfully walk that fine line, between “respectability”, being sexually explicit and sexually ambiguous, (the narrator’s sex was never stated). Normally such talk of unrequited lust was reserved for young males, but the song was sung by a woman. Add to that, Carole Pope was overtly sexual when performing, often wearing bondage gear, and did I mention she didn’t exactly hide her same sex orientation, so…. Put it all together in a more homophobic, sexually repressive period of time, it was the perfect storm. All in all, some brilliant lyrics, (IMHO ), that anyone who has truly lusted after another can identify with. Rough Trade was an established Canadian band when they released High School Confidential, they had a following, so it wasn’t as easy for censors, puritanical ne'er-do-wells and radio stations to just dismiss them and burry the song. Some radio stations just flat out refused to play the song; others played a censored version with the most controversial lyrics removed. One very popular radio station went as far as paying the band to record a “cleaned-up” version.

Since then, many other bands have been on the edge, or gone over it. Remember the 2-Live Crew, “Me So Horny”; banded, court case, huge controversy at the time. Naughty by Nature (O.P.P), very explicit, but they walked the line and got a Grammy nomination for the song. Now the lyrics for a song like Buckcherry’s “Crazy Bitch” is extremely explicit, but no one bats an eye at it. And then there is the artist Ludacris, very explicit, very successful. How times have changed.

When it comes to sex, the actual act itself, speaking about it, and trying to get some, how much is too much? How much is too soon, too vulgar, too overly sexual on a sex dating website? What’s an appropriate first message to someone? What’s an appropriate blog topic? If I asked 1000 different people to define what crosses the line for any given situation, I will get a multitude of different answers. Some will say merely by signing up we expose ourselves to less than respectable people, so we shouldn’t be crying about the level of vulgarity and classlessness we have to deal with here. You look at the different versions of “perversion” on this site as defined by “proper society”, most would be judged as distasteful, vulgar, lewd and disgraceful. We talk in graphic detail about oral sex, sex during menstruation, oral sex during menstruation, BDSM, masturbation, Urolagnia, etc. We all go about things differently, even though we all share a joy of sex. Is it any surprise that we all approach communicating our sexual desires differently? Is it surprising that there are differences in how we go about communicating our interest in another? As long as the behavior is within the TOU, can it really cross the line of “acceptable behavior”?

You will get no argument from me, that common sense dictates we should treat people here how we treat people we meet face-to-face, and better still treat people how we would like to be treated, right? Consistent behavior everywhere… but most of us are very different here than in the “real world. We should read all profiles and messages and respect wishes. Do we intensely read every message, and respond to all the polite ones? If your mailbox is busy (if you are female with the 20 to 50 men for every one of you, it’s busy), I would wager you take a few short cuts to polite behavior? If someone invests the time to write to you, a politely individualized message, do you feel you owe an equal investment to respond? Most reading this just answered “no” in their head, big time commitment, or just don’t want to… It’s a judgment call isn’t it? We all want people to play by the rules we like, demonstrate good social graces towards us, but do we always reciprocate… every time. We have all met a loudmouth, vulgar, tasteless, tactless, obnoxious individual that we would rather poke ourselves in the eye with a stick, than share the oxygen in a room the size of Mall of America with? Some of those same miserable people, make their way onto this site don’t they. But when you do encounter a miserable puss, face-to-face, do you typically engage with them longer than you have to, or do you extricate yourself from the situation quickly. In the real world you would exercise some control over your emotions, anger, disgust; why not here where you can simply delete/block?


I’m not condoning or condemning the behavior that many write about, I am merely asking a question. Of course I think the way I go about things on this site is “the best way”, or I would choose a different way… isn’t everyone else doing that including the people who conduct themselves in a manner we don’t appreciate? I got to think that most, asshats and prim and proper alike, are doing so. And they are also taking the short cuts they feel are adequate. I find myself saying and thinking about a particular quote a lot. “HOW YOU TREAT ME IS YOUR KARMA… HOW I REACT IS MINE”. I think these are words to really heed when conducting ourselves on this site, don’t you? There is no “EASY” button in life, but everyone seems to think they deserve one, especially here.


Some readers are going to sit on the fence with all the issues I have raised and say nothing; some will agree with most or all I have stated. Some will disagree with most or all I have said. But to all of you, I say, BRING IT! Be heard! Just when you do bring it, I would rather our discussion take on the tone of the Phil Donahue Show (remember him), instead of the tone of Jerry Springer.

Isn’t it great that we can talk to and meet other likeminded adults, to engage in and discuss the very thing that put us here… sex? Isn’t it sad that we can’t conduct ourselves like adults, even in the face of frustration (been there done that too), and keep an air of civility here? We all react differently when someone makes our body twitch, some with grace and elegance, some with the awkwardness of teenagers, most somewhere in between.

She makes me cream my jeans
When she's coming my way


Thoughts
18 Comments

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