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Posted:Mar 8, 2016 5:36 am
Last Updated:Sep 5, 2020 6:56 pm

Which do you believe is more effective... you can only choose one!

Discouraging bad behavior or encouraging good behavior?
The Seventeenth Virtual Symposium – Her Name was Heather, she was 15…
Posted:Feb 28, 2016 2:46 pm
Last Updated:Sep 5, 2020 6:57 pm
… I was in my 20s, and I was dating her older sister. But it’s not that kind of story!

This post is my contribution to the virtual symposium, edition # 17, which has been organized by humorlife. A list of other participants in this symposium can be found at Participants List For The Seventeenth Virtual Symposium The First Time .

Heather’s older sister and I were lovers. First we were classmates, then unbeknownst to me frenemies, then friends, then lovers. I say unbeknownst to me, because she (Nancy) and a few other upper classman girls were warning freshmen girls to stay clear of me and my friends. There had been an incident a year before her and I started at the university… silly boys, and their silly games known as a “pig party”. Things got out of hand, boundaries of manners where exceeded, and a big brouhaha ensued in the aftermath. I never did hear a firsthand account of what happened from the gentleman at the center of it all, but we were friends… I had met him through a friend of mine from high school. Funny thing was, he was never in university at the same time my old girlfriend and I were, but he use to visit some mutual friends regularly, and I got painted with his brush, guilt by association, because we were usually together as a group in large social gatherings. Just to add one more twist; the gentleman at the center of the brouhaha had a girlfriend at the time, she and I became great friends, and that’s how Nancy and I moved from frenemies, to friends to lovers.

I say we were lovers because, the sex was plentiful, we were very much in love, which was a first for me. I’m talking real love not the puppy infatuation stuff you have as a … the real McCoy. Our relationship had moved through the states of frenemies, friends then lovers because we had spent a lot of time together talking and getting to know everything about each other. I was keenly aware that there was at least one individual she was very close to, who would not be down with our relationship. He didn’t like any of her previous boyfriends he had met through her high school years, and I had one more strike against me, and that was the difference in our complexion. Nancy was Caucasian, and I obviously am not. Was there anyone else close to her who would not welcome us being together?

Now where I grew up, just outside of Toronto the world was Caucasian… when I started high school, in a school of about 1600 I was one of about 30 non-Caucasian , (Asian, East Indian, and Middle-Eastern included), about 10 of us would be of African ancestry, so that whole interracial dating thing was old hat. But everyone kind of new everyone, someone you dated had an older or younger sibling who knew you, you played on the same sports teams, when to the same Fraternity/Sorority formals, belonged to the same churches, had attended a party or other social event at each other’s homes, so there were no great mysteries. There was a good chance you had interacted with family members of anyone you would be dating. Being taken home by Nancy to meet the family… that was a first… meeting a family that you have had no other connection with.

Nancy grew up about 40 minutes north of me. Back then her community was rural, (it is no longer, suburbia has encroached), and I was from the suburbs, to a degree, we were from different worlds. I had actually visited her area once to play a playoff football game… her high school kind of just popped up out of nowhere, after we had been driving through fields and what we considered back roads forever. I remember we were all amazed at how many school busses they had. The buses endlessly rolling in and out of their parking lot, for about ½ hour as we stretched and warmed up for the game. We had about 2 school buses at our school; everyone walked or drove to our school. But I digress.

One Sunday afternoon in late March, the moment had been dropped on me… we would be making the 75 minute drive to meet Nancy’s family for Sunday dinner. She was from a family of 5 girls and one boy. Her brother was the oldest and lived 5 hours away, so I knew he wouldn’t be there. I remember it felt like I could be facing a firing squad of ladies, and her mother. I was nervous, because this first meeting was different, it mattered more, I was in love, and all the what ifs are racing through my mind. We arrived, and walked into a 100 year old farm house. I am quickly introduced to one sibling, guided into the kitchen and introduced to Nancy’s mother and we take up seats around a kitchen table. Nancy begins idle chit chat with her mother and sister, and in walks Heather. We are introduced and she sits down beside me to my left. The chit chat continues between Nancy and her mother, with her mother occasionally throwing a question my way. I couldn’t quite get a read from her mother how she was feeling about this guy her had brought home… she seemed indifferent. But it felt like I was under the microscope, like I was being watched carefully. I turned to my left and there is Heather staring right at me. The look on her face put me totally at ease, we connected in an instant, and I knew that one family member was happy with who her older sister was dating.

Heather is all grown up and in her mid-40’s now. While I dated her sister, and for a while after that, she was like a little sister to me. It’s getting close to 20 years since I last saw her, it was at Nancy’s wedding, but I will always remember how we connected that afternoon. That was the first time someone I was in a serious relationship with took me home to meet the family.

Political Correctness…
Posted:Feb 21, 2016 6:36 am
Last Updated:Apr 25, 2016 3:53 pm

…commonly abbreviated to PC, is a term primarily used as a pejorative to describe language, policies, or measures which are intended not to offend or disadvantage any particular group of people in society; in pejorative usage, those who use the term are generally implying that these policies are excessive. Political correctness just seems like civility to me. Civility is defined as, “formal politeness and courtesy in behavior or speech”. Is being too polite or courteous a bad thing? Some seem to believe that taking measures to make sure we don’t offend or disadvantage others is going a step too far.

A few weeks back I did a post on The Golden Rule. I was wondering if for the most part, people didn’t believe in it anymore, if “do on to other’s as you would have them do on to you”, was no longer the rule. Judging by the responses, most still view it that way, leaving me all the more puzzled. I’m puzzled why it’s become in vogue to rail against these basic principles; politeness, courtesy, political correctness if you will.

I wonder… is it because it takes some effort… effort to call a spade a spade, without a deliberate intent to offend? Or have we drifted so far down the slippery slope that our goal is to offend, when someone is different from us in appearance, station in life, hue, popularity, political or sexual belief?

Social Media
Posted:Feb 14, 2016 9:04 am
Last Updated:Mar 9, 2016 4:00 am

Is it a source of information or a source of entertainment? Is social media too powerful? Social media seems akin to mob mentality... the loudest most angry voices get all the attention. Facts, what's that all about? Just get a big following, twist the truth to further your agenda, and that’s that.

Feeling Insulted...
Posted:Feb 10, 2016 7:27 pm
Last Updated:Apr 7, 2016 11:05 pm

Isn't that the opinion to have online?
The Golden Rule…
Posted:Feb 6, 2016 6:49 am
Last Updated:Feb 21, 2016 5:54 am
a basic principle that should be followed to ensure success in general or in a particular activity. Do you practice it?

Do you believe the golden rule is:

Do onto others as they do onto you?

Do on to others before they do on to you?

Do onto others how you would have them do onto you?

Yeah, I’m talking about you!
Posted:Feb 4, 2016 7:39 pm
Last Updated:Mar 30, 2018 4:51 pm
To respond, or not to respond, that is the question?...
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them.

Oh, by the way, let me throw down a little… if you are pompous and self-righteous, (you know who you are), and take the position… “my time is just waaaaaay too valuable; they should respect my wishes, blab, blab, blab…” you can stop reading now! You probably should keep reading, but… I digress.

I thought I would get a little cute there, by adding in the words of Willie Shakespeare to begin this post… but as I ponder that famous quote, I’m thinking “how appropriate it is for the subject, I’m blogging about”. What do you do with messages? Do you respond to all? Let an auto-responder handle it all? Or just do nothing, nada… unless of course you are interested in the individual who messaged. Recently, two sexy ladies took opposing views on the subject, in recent posts. The first uses the method I personally follow, here is that post, KINDNESS if you want to have a look. Sexy lady #2, doesn’t agree with lady #1 and posted a response post, [post 3772424] . Both ladies are good ladies, IMHO, and certainly lady #2 Kitkat1415 and I have had some spirited disagreements… but then again, who haven’t I had a spirted disagreement with. Lol We don’t have to agree on everything, and that OK. It’s the way it should be There is no definitive right or wrong approach to this dilemma… everyone must choose their own approach that fits their needs.

I realize the respond, don’t respond argument, is one of our community’s little circular arguments, right? Like the dick pic argument posts… I still contend you could always just apply the nudity filter… but it’s more fun to complain. And before any ladies try to fire back at me on that, remember this. Men outnumber women on this site, 20 to 1 or better. The majority of those men are heterosexual, and the only dick they are interested in seeing is the one attached to them! I think you can concede that ladies; and gentlemen give me an Amen. Back on topic… to respond or not comes down to a philosophical belief. Hopefully all the high and mighty “do as I say, not as I do people” have left this post, and I’m now speaking only to the rational, lovely, open-minded people who are frustrated with the way the communication process works in online dating.

My philosophy on respond, not respond, is to respond to all. I actually state my viewpoint and the rationale behind it, in my profile on a vanilla website… a fragment from that profile illustrates my view:

I will communicate with anyone who attempts to communicate with me. Others who are more familiar with this online dating paradise have told me I should just ignore messages from people I’m not really interested in… apparently those are the rules of how you do this online thing… but I have never been really good at following rules that don’t make sense to me. I do recognize that time is precious, and there is a degree of anonymity being on the net, so ignoring people is an approach many take. But way back when, when we use to meet each other in person, face to face, I wasn’t in the habit of simply ignoring anyone, who had the fortitude, courage, temerity, what have you, to try to communicate with me. If I message you, I hope you will respond, so I too must practice the golden rule (do unto others), tid for tat, Quid pro quo, with regards to time, effort and most of all respect. Besides, I like people, especially women, and I like talking… to women even better. Also, you never know what will come out of conversation… seems to be a dying art.

The chief complaint most have about messaging on a dating site, is people adopt a completely different approach when communicating online. I get it; it’s frustrating, that most don’t operate in a manner we feel is reasonable. And you can feel KK’s frustration in her post. But it can also be frustrating at the other end! To actually take the time to write a decent message, and have it just ignored. I can feel your thoughts… right now some of you are probably thinking, “I’m not going to respond to people who XYZ…” and you throw your own civility out the window! Yes, agreed… for some it’s a lost cause… civility doesn’t work on them. There is nothing you can do about the behind the keyboard warriors. But should you be patterning your behavior, because of them? If you become them… you know, lose your civility, (assuming that was your nature to begin with), the keyboard warriors have scored a little victory. Haven’t they? They have pulled you down to their level a little.

Show of hands… who didn’t join this site, expecting to meet other adults who would act like “adults”, and the process would be rather straightforward? Anyone? If we lose our civility, how do we expect any of this to change? There is an old saying, “What you reap is what you sew”… Karma if you will. IMHO, said another way, we are either part of the problem or part of the solution. When it comes the civility and respect we all want, there is no middle ground.

…. To die—to sleep, No more; and by a sleep to say we end the heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks

Your thoughts
The Sixteenth Virtual Symposium Freinds with Benefits
Posted:Jan 31, 2016 6:06 am
Last Updated:Feb 19, 2016 7:53 pm
How many of us have them?
Ones we can depend on
How many of us have them?
Before we go any further, lets be

The lyrics from the song “Friends”, by Whodini… a song that has been sampled almost all much as James Brown.

This post is my contribution to the virtual symposium, edition # 16, which has been organized by humorlife. A list of other participants in this symposium can be found at Participants List For The Sixteenth Virtual Symposium Friends With Benefits.

If you have blogged long enough, you have no doubt read or written a post, or 10 about Friends with Benefits (FW. I have… so I thought I would recycle one my early post, and add a little something at the end. So, to the earlier post…

What exactly is Friends With Benefits?

It seems everyone has a completely different idea of the concept of “Friends With Benefits” (FW. I always understood the concept of FWB as friends, who have a non-romantic casual sexual relationship. But judging from lots of blogs and a group post, there is no consensus on the meaning of the definition of the term FWB.

One blog demonstrates that some believe FWB means hanging out at someone’s place naked, and never doing the other social things that friends do together. Other definitions seem to be based on friendship, but then start imposing hard head count caps on the number of active FWBs you can have, limiting the number to 3 or less, or just 1.

FWB is based on the concept of friendship, isn’t it? Should it not encompass all the regular activities we do with our non-sexual friends, dinner (in and out), movies (in and out), sporting events, concerts, visiting art galleries and museums, going to the “Everything to do with Sex Show”, etc., and meeting your other friends and family (yes, I when there). For the sake of reaching a consensus on the definition of FWB, let’s not bring the desire to go bareback and the risks of multiple partners into the picture. Since I think most of us don't put hard head count caps on the number of friends we have, and the concept of FWB as I understand it is routed in the word “friend”, should hard head counts or exclusivity ever be part of the deal. When you put a hard head count, especially if it is exclusive, isn’t that more like a monogamous vanilla relationship? And if you don’t do the normal things friends do, you just meet, fuck and leave, isn’t that defined by the term Fuck Buddy?

What do you think, without getting into specific types of relationship(s) you are looking for, how should the term FWB be defined? You have an opinion, so please voice it.


Fast forward a few years, and I think I have a little better understanding of why there is such a variety of interpretations on the concept of friends with benefits. The interpretations are so varied because people have different interpretations of the concept of friends. The lyrics of the Whodini song touch on the complexities and variations on the concept of “friends”; (I will post the lyrics at the end of the post so you can inspect them). But where to jump into this… how about the dictionary definition:

1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends of the Boston Symphony.
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe?
4. a member of the same nation, party, etc.
5. a member of the Religious Society of Friends; a Quaker.
6. a person associated with another as a contact on a social-media website:

For a lot of us, the description of friends in my original post will suffice, but many cling to alternate definitions. There are some, we’ll call these people “control freaks”, they have a list of rules about friendship. We can only be friends if you: like the same things I like; dislike the same things or people I dislike; belong to the same club(s); grew-up or live in the place(s) I find acceptable; the list goes on and on… if you try to deviate from the chosen path, they try to rein you back in, or unfriend you. There are some who call any and all acquaintances, “friends”. Then there are those who like to compartmentalize “friendship” relationships. They got their work friends, the church friends, the childhood friends, etc… and just like in Ghostbusters, don’t ever cross the streams, because bad things will happen. Under no circumstances do they want different parts of their lives intersecting. Then there are those who see friendship as more of a co-operative non-aggression pact. There are those who categorize the levels of friendship. Best friend, close friend, activity friend, casual friend, etc.; and looking back at the first dictionary definition, they assigned different levels of “affection and personal regard” to each category. It near impossible to have an all-inclusive definition Friends with Benefits, since we can’t even agree completely on what constitutes a friend.

Then, of course there is always the debate on how, (monogamously or poly), and when the benefits will be extended. If your kinks lean towards bi-sexuality, 3-somes, 4-somes, more-somes, gangbangs… it’s kind of impossible to be monogamous.

I think the trick of this whole debacle, it to try and find someone who has the same definition and understanding of FWB, instead of battling over which definition is the correct one.

Whodini - "Friends" lyrics

How many of us have them?
Ones we can depend on
How many of us have them?
Before we go any further, lets be

Is a word we use everyday
Most the time we use it in the wrong way
Now you can look the word up, again and again
But the dictionary doesn't know the meaning of friends

And if you ask me, you know, I couldn’t be much help
Because a friend is somebody you judge for yourself
Some are ok, and they treat you real cool
But some mistake kindness for being a fool

We like to be with some, because they're funny
Others come around when they need some money
Some you grew up with, around the way
And you're still real close too this very day

Homeboys through the Summer, Winter, Spring and Fall
And then there's some we wish we never knew at all
And this list goes on, again and again
But these are the people that we call friends

When we first went out together, we barely knew each other
We had no intentions, on becoming lovers
But in no time at all, you became my girl
Me and you, one on one, against the world
Talkin on the telephone for hours at a time
Or else I was at your house, or you was at mine
Then came the arguements and all kinds of problems
Besides making love, we had nothing in common
It couldnt last long because it started out strong
But I guess we went about the whole thing wrong
Cause out of nowhere it just came to an end
Because we became lovers before we were friends

How many of us have them?
Ones we can depend on
How many of us have them?
Before we go any further, let's be

You say you and your girlfriend were so tight
You took her out with you and your guy one night
She even had a set of keys to your home
And you shared mostly everything you owned

But as she shook your hand, she stole your man
And it was done so swift, it had to be a plan
Couldn't trust her with cheese, let alone your keys
With friends like that you don't need enemies

You wonder how long it was all going on
And your still not sure if your man is gone
You say, well if she took him he was never mine
But deep inside you know that's just another lie

And now you're kinda cold to the people you meet
Cause of something that was done to you by some creep
But nevertheless, I'll say it again
That these are the people that we call friends

How many of us have them?
Before we go any further, lets be

How many of us have them?
One's we can depend on
How many of us have them?
Before we go any further, lets be

How many of us have them?
One's we can depend on
How many of us have them?
Before we go any further, lets be
Posted:Jan 30, 2016 10:28 am
Last Updated:Feb 4, 2016 4:01 am
… or not really

Last weekend I was visiting a friend who lives in the smallish fishing/tourist town of Port Dover, Ontario. If you are a biking enthusiast, and live anywhere close to me, you are probably familiar with this town. The town has a population of 6,000, (106,000 on Friday the 13th if it falls in a summer month).

Anyway in our altered state, we started looking at a calendar produced by the local newspaper, and we got to the aerial shot of the town that was probably taken 65 years ago at best. It got me to thinking… there was probably planning involved in getting this photo. There were phone calls to the pilot to arrange for the flyover. Phone calls to a photographer to arrange a meeting with the pilot, so they could execute it all. Then they probably had to do multiple flybys to get the shot. It might of taken days, even weeks to arrange it all. If the picture was taken in 1950, throw in the fees to the pilot, photographer and gas money, and it may have cost over $100 back then, which is the equivalent of $1,000 now.

To get that same picture now… run down to your closest hobby or big box store; drop $45 on a drone, and you get a better picture. Quite the advancement in 65 years.

Human civilization (moving beyond being hunters and gatherers), has existed for at least 12 thousand years, and we can’t get our shit together, and stop trying to harm each other? Why do we gravitate to the crazy ones, who find an angst, then run in the direction of crazy, under the pretense of protecting us from other crazies? Is the answer to try and fight fire with fire, narrow mindedness with more narrow mindedness, rhetoric with more rhetoric, crazy with crazy? I don’t know everything, but I’m pretty sure you can’t out crazy, crazy.

If only we could advance our species, like we advance our technology.

Talk to me
The Soundtrack of Your life.
Posted:Jan 28, 2016 5:39 pm
Last Updated:Feb 6, 2016 6:57 am
Recently Blog friend Redrockrascal, (I know you don’t mind me pimping you), penned a nice post called, The Soundtrack of YOUR Life What Is Yours, and somehow I missed it. I kept tripping over other blogger mentioning the post, so I went back found it, and decided to add my contribution to this theme. My contribution is a little different… I have kind of a mashed together collection of some thoughts, a half-baked post I had laying around, a trip down memory lane, and an opportunity to school my friend TC This post is a little on the long side… so if you’re not into music… there’s nothing for you here.

If I asked you, “What is the greatest decade in music?” What would you answer be? Was it the 60s (which many experts will tout as the best decade)… music became a form of protest, and there was arguably the greatest collections of bands ever? Bands like the Stones, Beatles, Doors, Yardbirds, Cream, the Supremes, Temptations, Ike and Tina, etc., and the great individual artists (Hendrix, Joplin, Redding, James Brown and Dylan), came out of. The 50s, that took Rock and Roll from a black-sub culture music form and brought it to the masses. The 70s, with Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, the Eagles, Fleetwood Mac, Queen, and Disco (that’s a peace offering for you TC). So if you were asked the question, what is the greatest decade in music, would you choose one of the aforementioned, or the 80s, 90s, 2000s or this current decade?

My Two cents, it’s the 80s, that’s the best period of music. Now I wouldn’t go as far as saying the music of the 80s is the soundtrack of my life. There is just too much good music before and after the 80s I have enjoyed to be stuck in one period. The 80s did have it all (including memorable hairstyle and fashion sense). It was the last time everything came together… the last great defining period of music, so say many musicologists. To a certain extent, in the later part of the 70s, the 70s were seen as a failed period of music. The 50s were the 50s… this “new” music called Rock & Roll, just kind of took over. Then the 60s came along, the art form grew, the personalities of the artist grew, and the music set the cultural tone, rather than just reflecting it. In the 70’s nothing revolutionary happened, the period was like an endless search for the next Beatles... the next cash cow for music. Attempts were made… do you remember the Knack or the Bay City Rollers and their TV show. Music execs did find a cash cow in the 70s… it was called, DISCO. People wanted to dance again, and Disco a fusion of funk, soul, pop and salsa music, allowed people to do that in clubs that kept popping up in major urban centers. Disco had been around since the late 60s, but it was pretty much exclusively played in the underground club scene, never getting much if any radio time. Enter the movie Saturday Night Fever, which alerted the masses to this sub-culture and its music. Dollar signs go off in the heads of record execs… soon everyone is trying to produce a Disco hit… even the Rolling Stones took a run at it… with the 12”, “Special Disco Version” of Miss You. The genre, became watered down with imposters, and seemed to leave as quickly as it came. Out of that whole Disco debacle, the Beatlemania thing, and the death of Sid Vicious (of Sex Pistols fame), Punk Rock’s run at the main stream (with all due respect to Blondie), was at an end, and the 80s was queued up.

The 80s was like the 60s, there was just more. More stuff, bands, sounds, and invasions. It was like trying to herd cats for the music industry. At the beginning of the decade, there was a U.K. band poised to be the next big thing; they had had success in the U.K., and were going take North America like the Beatles did. Only problem was the lead singer of the band, took his own life, in May 1980. And that was that. The singer’s name was Ian Curtis, and the Band was Joy Division. Things just kind of spiraled after that, but in a good way.

Like the 60s, the 80s had music that was politically conscious, and the music covered more topics, more than just a single war… there was opposition to war in general, miscarriages of justice, and the human condition. Artist and songs at the forefront… The Message (Melle Melle with Grand Master Flash and the Furious 5), consider the most important /hip-hop song ever, chronicled U.S. intercity life and conditions, identifying problems long before they ever became 6 o’clock news worthy. The Groups NWA and Public Enemy with their anthems “Fuck the Police” and “Fight the Power”, are legendary for their politically conscious music. U2’s Sunday Bloody, Sunday” chronicled the massacre that took place in Northern Ireland in 1972; The Dead Kennedy’s (one of the last great punk bands), sang about Cambodia; Peter Gabriel, sang about the imprisonment and death (while in police custody) of anti-apartheid activist Steven Biko. Artist banded together to protest injustice… Can you remember Artist against Apartheid (“Sun City”)… and the granddaddy of all collaborations with the songs “Do they Know It’s Christmas” and “We are the World” and other incantations.

Just like the 60s there were lots of great bands covering many different genres: U2, N.W.A, Public Enemy, Run-DMC, Van Halen, Guns N’ Roses, Def Leppard, Bestie Boys, Eurythmics, Duran Duran, Inxs, Culture Club, Eurythics, (the ladies favourite) Bon Jovi, Tears for Fears, R.E.M., Talking Heads, and on and on. Sampling, a technique from the early days, became more common place, more and more artist from different genres collaborated, artist like Eric B & Rakim were highly sought after. If you are a post-punk fan, can you remember John Lydon (of Sex Pistols and Public Image Limited fame), teaming up with Afrika Bambaataa to bring us “Time Zone”. Just like the 60s, there was also a litany of individual artist, Madonna, Prince, L.L. Cool J, Michael Jackson… how many of you can remember exactly where you were the night the thriller video premiered? There was also, Lionel Richie, Peter Gabriel, Phil Collins, George Michael, Don Henley, and lots of other artist who went solo, after successful stints with great bands.

What really separates the 80s from the 60s and gives it an advantage are 2 things; music videos and the number of genres. The explosion of music video changed everything… things changed for the good, some for the bad. In the 60s, you had mainstream genres consisting of Adult contemporary, Pop, Rock & Roll, Folk, Motown and Soul. The 80s, Adult contemporary, Rock, Pop and Soul are around for the masses, but coming out of the 70s punk rock had had an influence on what was popular… remember Adam Ant or Devo? Also, as a result of Bob Marley’s influence, Reggae had a growing following. Although Disco was bastardized by quick buck attempts, dance music was alive and well, just the funk sound became dominant as it returned underground. Still to this day, you can hear the influences of a George Clinton/Bootsy Collins groove in music. You also have this massive group of artists doing something new. The sounds are so different; no one knows how to categorize it, so it’s coined with the term “New Wave”. Within the “New Wave” Genre, you have sub-genres… the post-punk genre, featuring groups like P.I.L. (Public Image Limited), the Dead Kennedys and the Violent Femes. More main stream rock style artists, like U2, then groups influenced by varying level of synthesizer involvement like New Order (the remaining members of Joy Division with a female addition), Vasage, Depeche Mode, Simple Minds, the Cure, and Psychedelic Furs. Groups that are more of a Rock/Pop jazz fusion, like the Style Council, Swing Out Sister, or Matt Bianco; Latin/Pop fusions like the Miami Sound Machine; then there were bands that brought Ska music into the mainstream, most notably the Specials and the English Beat. Metal spins off from mainstream Rock music, and produces its litany of sub-genres. Industrial spin off from post-punk, there was glam Rock, “traditional” , and the new coined “Hip/Hop”, which was given its name by Afrika Bambaataa to explain the mash up of genres that was happening. Then there was “House”… house music that is. You have probably rocked out to “The 900 Number” and “Pump up the volume” a few times in your life. It was a free for all…create a dance track off an Operatic sound (Malcom McLaren’s madam Butterfly); Drop in some Synthesizer over top of some classical piano, “I like Chopin” (Gazebo), or “The First Picture of You” (The Lotus Eaters). The 80s was all about mixing it up, and tossing it up, the rules kind of when out the window… It wasn’t about sticking to narrow genre definitions so you could get some radio time.

And, I nearly forgot… then there was Country. The 80s was also the when Country music, became not just for country folk again. The genres expanded beyond its traditional rural base, taking the urban centers by storm. There is a whole post there in itself…. This post is long enough, so I’ll end it here.

The 80s, the last great defining period of music… until the next one comes along.
Posted:Jan 25, 2016 5:47 pm
Last Updated:Feb 19, 2016 7:57 pm
Defined as: the correspondence in size, form, and arrangement of parts on opposite sides of a plane, line, or point; regularity of form or arrangement in terms of like, reciprocal, or corresponding parts.

I got together with a friend on Saturday afternoon, for a chat, some eats, drinks and other party favors We got talking, moved from subject to subject, and eventually got on to… what else… sex. Bet you’re really surprised there. We were talking about masturbation, and about her being right had dominant… she can only get off rubbing the fun box with her right. We had a discussion about if I have ever used my non-dominant had… been there done that, etc. Then she added a wrinkle as to why she never has gone the distance with her left hand. She likes to amp things up with a little nipple play… and that’s what her left hand is dedicated too. My friend says her right nipple is far more sensitive than her left, and her left hand has free and easy access to push her over the edge.

Complete symmetry in humans is rare, but I was a little surprised by the magnitude in the difference of sensitivity between her left and right nipples, that my friend indicated… so it got me to wondering.

Ladies, do you find there is a great difference in sensitivity between your nipples?
Which side is more sensitive?
Are you right handed or left handed?

A write in question: Does nipple peircing raise or lower nipple sensitivity?
It’s a Blog War…
Posted:Jan 12, 2016 5:34 pm
Last Updated:Jan 17, 2016 10:02 am

It’s on! My good friend Spunkycumfun (aka TC), and I have decided to start a blog war. You heard that correctly Moe-foe, a blog war. I figured I would launch the first attack while he is sleeping over there in the U.K. We have a small problem though. We couldn’t quite decide what we should fight about… that’s where you come in. We are receptive to your input. Should we talk about each other in our blogs, without mentioning each other’s handles? Oh shit, I guess I already messed that up. Just forget I mentioned his handle.

How do you do this shit anyway? I mean beyond sliding in some childish mean spirited shit in a post, and trying to win bloggers over to your side? You are all on my side… right! Is it like Festivus… the Airing of Grievances, demonstrating sexual “Feats of Strength”? Do we get a miracle like the Festivus miracles? If we do, I would like an international group orgy, followed by a mandatory symposium, where we blog about the experiences?

I guess there should be some rules also, and a way to declare a winner? We are woefully inept at this, so your help is needed.

Modern Love
Posted:Jan 12, 2016 1:52 pm
Last Updated:Feb 4, 2016 4:13 am
It's not really work
It's just the power to charm
I'm still standing in the wind
But I never wave bye bye
But I try, I try
Never gonna fall for

Some lyrics from Modern Love, by David Bowie, who yesterday joined the great band in the sky… Could you just imagine the concert going on in the afterlife, if everyone was in the same place, and could do their thing? Modern Love is one of my favorite Bowie songs, not because of the music or lyrics, but because of the memories it evokes.

This being a sex dating site and all, my tribute to Bowie, has to be sexual. The song reminds me of a particular young lady from University that I would of loved to have known intimately. Never got the chance… she got really tight with another gentleman I knew, so you move on. My memory is somewhat vague about what she looked like… I do recall she was on the taller side; she hung out with a redhead I had gone to high school with, who was about 5’10” or 11”, and I don’t remember the girl I went to high school with towering over her. She had dark hair (Dorothy Hamill style cut), an athletic build, with probably large C or small D cup breasts… (that’s what I was into in my early 20s). You are probably thinking… “I thought your memory of her was vague”. I say it’s vague, because I can’t remember her face. I have a great memory for faces, I never forget someone’s face. But I’m completely blank right now on what she looked like; I’m sure she was attractive.

Anyway, she loved the song, Modern Love. Whenever it came on, Terri, that was her name, just had to dance… often I was her partner. There was something so sensual about the way she dance to this song… she was an ok dancer to other songs (I lived in dance clubs back then, so everything is relative), but to this song she had a certain kind of magic, that’s hard to describe. Kind of how Bowie himself danced, but just way more sexual, sensual, and just fun… I just got a kick out of watching or dancing with her when this song was played. Every time I hear the song, I’m immediately transported back in time.

Mr. Bowie… vaya con Dios brother. Thank you for the great music, the fashion forward sense, for having a certain cool elegance, but most of all, thanks for Modern Love, and the way you made Terri dance. And Terri, to you…

(Modern love) walks beside me
(Modern love) walks on by
(Modern love) gets me to the church on time

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