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Another Random Thought by Lonely  

lonelybackagain 46F  
67 posts
7/2/2017 5:17 am
Another Random Thought by Lonely


We all know the obvious problem with lakes and fakes and being jerked around by people on this site. But I have noticed that because of the actions of those people, especially this most recent situation (see previous entries regarding that fiasco), that I am finding myself having a hard time believing someone when they say they want to meet me. And the more attractive the person is the less I believe them. So what do I do? Do I keep my guard up and protect myself or do I take the chance and risk getting y hopes dashed again? I am going through this with one guy in particular. He says all the right things but I can't tell if he really wants to meet me or not because he hasn't made an an attempt to do so yet. And I know people have lives and they can't just drop everything and do whatever they want when they want (unlike me LOL ). Maybe I just need to learn to be patient and try to have some faith? I don't know... What do you think?

The one, the only, the original since 1973


lonelybackagain 46F  
24 posts
7/2/2017 5:19 am

Feel free to comment

The one, the only, the original since 1973


camperdude_69 59M
4246 posts
7/2/2017 5:23 am

nice


Prof10001 59M
3537 posts
7/2/2017 5:44 am

One needs to have faith tempered with reality. Slowing down is usually less of a problem than rushing into something. The dynamic is certainly different for male vs female on this site. I can go weeks or months without getting an unsolicited message. I'm sure the women are drowning in them. Men's efforts on AdultFriendFinder go toward getting noticed, women's go toward sorting wheat from chaff. If you keep looking eventually you'll have some success. The numbers are in your favor.

Best of luck.

Prof10001
Swing by my blog!


redrockrascal 61M
21388 posts
7/2/2017 6:01 am

    Quoting Prof10001:
    One needs to have faith tempered with reality. Slowing down is usually less of a problem than rushing into something. The dynamic is certainly different for male vs female on this site. I can go weeks or months without getting an unsolicited message. I'm sure the women are drowning in them. Men's efforts on AdultFriendFinder go toward getting noticed, women's go toward sorting wheat from chaff. If you keep looking eventually you'll have some success. The numbers are in your favor.

    Best of luck.

    Prof10001
    Swing by my blog!
Well put

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


Rumble59 60M
173 posts
7/2/2017 6:08 am

i just will not endlessly exchange messages with someone. My usual habit is to ask for a meet after 3 or 4 messages if I have an interest. Long correspondence builds up excitement and anticipation, but also creates unreal expectations. I prefer to live my life in the real world, rather than Ethernet.

Perhaps, rather than chat with just one person, maybe you should leave the computer and meet several real people. You will still find frogs but I am sure your prince is there also.

Rumble in the Jungle


TicklePlease 52F  
12730 posts
7/2/2017 6:41 am

If a guy says the things that make me want to meet him, and none of the things that make me want to avoid him, I directly ask to meet in person within a few online conversations. Just to meet, not for a hookup, I make that clear, and propose a few dates in the next week. If he's not legit, he'll have an excuse for every day and he won't propose a day that works better for him. If he's truly interested in meeting, he'll make the time for a coffee or a happy hour.

The longer an online connection remains online, the less likely it will transition to an in-real-life one.


GreenEyedLady_60 60F  
1892 posts
7/2/2017 7:14 am

    Quoting Prof10001:
    One needs to have faith tempered with reality. Slowing down is usually less of a problem than rushing into something. The dynamic is certainly different for male vs female on this site. I can go weeks or months without getting an unsolicited message. I'm sure the women are drowning in them. Men's efforts on AdultFriendFinder go toward getting noticed, women's go toward sorting wheat from chaff. If you keep looking eventually you'll have some success. The numbers are in your favor.

    Best of luck.

    Prof10001
    Swing by my blog!
I agree...perfectly said!

Be Honest..Be Sincere...Be REAL


BiggLala 48F  
28159 posts
7/2/2017 8:23 am

Contrary to the belief most men have here, not all the women here drown in messages and interest from guys. I'm one of them, as I average one message a week and usually from new members young enough to be my son. I don't have a problem with the age, but new members (especially that young) tend to believe the site's advertising and just want hookups.

Anyway...I understand where you're coming from in trying to determine whether a guy and his interest is genuine. In my experience, it's a numbers game. You'll interact with some that are truly interested in what you are, and those who have no true intention of personally meeting people. The more you interact with people the better you'll develop a feel for who is genuine and who isn't. For example as Tickleplease said, if a guy repeatedly has excuses not to meet (yet he keeps saying he wants to), he's not really interested in meeting. Yes, many people are 'busy', but everyone makes time for what they want to in life so they'll make time if they truly want to meet. Some people think you should meet within a certain time frame or a meet won't happen. IME there is no absolute method, rather what method works best for the individual person.

I also agree that you should interact with several men at any given time so as to not place too much expectation on one guy at a time. You'll reduce your frustration if/when one drops out...on to the next. Basically...some will, some won't...so what...next.

Good luck!

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