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Texting a Potential Lover  

lonelybackagain 46F
66 posts
5/4/2017 12:25 pm
Texting a Potential Lover

I have always been a chatter. In grade school I always got the check mark for talking too much in class. It's just something I do especially if I am nervous or I like you. So when someone, particularly someone I like, gives me their number and says "text me anytime you want" it can be a recipe for disaster... I do not know this person yet so I do not know how much texting is actually appropriate. I am pretty certain they do not want me texting them all day, every day. But what is the right balance? I don't want to smother them and scare them off but at the same time I don't want to ignore them so that they think I am not interested. Is there a way to find that perfect amount without disastrous effects? Because I have already had a few LOL

Any suggestions???

The one, the only, the original since 1973

TXArmyWife 47F
1946 posts
5/4/2017 1:12 pm

Ahhh, yes. The texting can be a complicated thing!
I always go by, how quick they answer my texts. Also, do they answer my questions, and ask me a question in return? Are we having a good flowing conversation? Am I doing the first text of the day?
I am very honest, so I ask them if I can't tell what's happening.
Here recently, I had to ask someone if they were still interested. He rarely texted me, and when I text him, it could be the next day before he answered. He said he was very busy. He apologized and has been doing better.
When all else fails, just ask!

I need a really great kiss!!

papis_baby_girl 41F
5278 posts
5/4/2017 4:47 pm

if you're already sweatin' it then you're texting too much and you haven't even started.

Just mirror the person you're texting.

"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say."
-Anais Nin

"I am big, it's the pictures that got small!"
-Norma Desmond

s2ndegree 61M  
9715 posts
5/4/2017 6:52 pm

Start with dots and dashes or you could use the most technically advanced communication device and make a bold move and call him.
Then again that could ruin all his plans having to actually talk to someone.

Using more than all the road!

valdezvicvic 62M
997 posts
5/4/2017 6:54 pm

There is no formula, there is no one way, there is no right way because men are human beings and are as individual and unique as women are. So for me, you are not real until we meet in person eye to eye.
There is a reason people hide behind e mail, text, chatting on the phone. The fantasy that you are getting to know someone is absurd, there is fake "act nice" behaviors that desperate people do for fear of rejection.
Then there are the board types who in a fantasy want to talk and talk, knowing that they are not physically attractive and a real meet up will end the fantasy.
My advice IF SERIOUS, BE SERIOUS. These web sites are mostly not serious, so don't look for milk form a bull, cows have the milk.

TicklePlease 52F  
12760 posts
5/4/2017 7:19 pm

Since they specifically mentioned texting, it seems they enjoy it. Some people don't. My rule is that I text if I have something concrete to say. If it's just a "hi" text where I'm fishing for convo, I'll wait a little longer. I try to mirror their timing and length at first. Leave them wanting more instead of wanting to end the convo.

I wholeheartedly agree with aflower2c, don't sext until you've actually HAD sex because once you go virtual, there's hardly any hope for actual.

X6810 49M
6 posts
4/29/2019 5:38 pm

I agree that it's complicated. I know I've had the same worry myself in the past.

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