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The Hard to Achieve Orgasm  

lonelybackagain 46F
66 posts
5/17/2017 10:56 am
The Hard to Achieve Orgasm

I still remember the disappointment I felt after my first time that there were no "fireworks". But like I told myself it was the first time and everybody knows they say that the first time isn't the greatest. So then came the second and third and forth and still no orgasm. Of course, I wasn't exactly sure what to expect. I had never been able to give myself an orgasm through masturbation. I was beginning to think something was wrong with me. But this was 1991 and I was only 17 so I really had nowhere to turn. So, I suffered in silence. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed sex but I always felt like there was something missing. Eventually, I started reading and watching porn. And I learned about clitoral stimulation... And finally one day it all came together (no pun intended). But it still did not happen every time. Over the years I have been able to have "hands free" orgasms sometimes when I am on top. I was even lucky enough to have a multiple rolling orgasm once. My last "relationship" I was in lasted 8 months and I faked it the entire time. He doesn't know that. Don't get me wrong, the sex was amazing but I felt pressured by him to cum so I gave him what he wanted. He didn't know any better and he thought he was a stud. But I don't want to go through that again. I want to be able to talk about my issues with my next partner. I want them to understand and be patient and not feel like it's some kind of challenge for them to "make me cum". And if it happens great but if not that okay we had a good still had a good time and we can always try again. And if anyone out there has any tips or tricks please feel free to share because I am willing to try just about anything LOL

The one, the only, the original since 1973

lonelybackagain 46F
24 posts
5/17/2017 11:01 am

Please add any tips or comments you might have. I look forward to reading them!

The one, the only, the original since 1973

Heathen_G 61M
7864 posts
5/17/2017 3:18 pm

Women don't really need to have an orgasm. Many want to orgasm, but many just can't do it, even on her own.
There's no biological reason for her to have one, other than her own pleasure.

Biologically a male having an orgasm [the planting of the seed] is necessary to more greatly assure a chance of pregnancy. Whereas the woman? She is the egg and womb, and his equipment reacts as its always been intended to assure the furthering of our species.

So taking a step back and look at the big anthropological picture, today, modern times, women get frustrated with men having an orgasm quickly. A man having his orgasm relatively quickly , up until modern safe times, has always been a good thing. Now a fast one just makes women feel left out because mating [to get her pregnant] isn't as important as it was thousands and hundreds of thousands of years ago.

Now sex [what we use to think of as "Mating"] is something we do for pleasure, but as it turns out; pleasure mostly for the male.

Baconfat1963 47M
1 post
5/28/2018 12:55 pm

My experience talking with other women I have had sex with is a lot of it is your mental frame of mind and where is it while your having sex. Try clearing out the fog from life's stressors before engaging in intercourse, long foreplay or some like to get high a little first. Squirting is next, I learned that recently and my success is increasing.

X6810 49M
6 posts
4/29/2019 6:02 pm

I agree with Baconfat1963 on the stress part.
If it's planned, maybe listen to some music, or take a warm bubble bath. A nice massage might help too, for both parties.

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