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Whispers of hidden truths  

lookiss79 42M
17 posts
8/18/2021 6:44 am
Whispers of hidden truths

Any compassion given me...was thrown out with all of that i am and was and will always be...Locked my mind behind<b> bars </font></b>of thoughts...silently whispering words of my faults. My past put on display... haunting me in a way...that this craziness of mind will never go away.
Even on the quiet days my anger flows thru me...as if I'm an addicted psychotic delusional individual that never knew me.
Medicines only help so much...suppressing this diseased mind but never enough...I've had enough...I cry and I laugh...on a dating site with no visible luck.
Feels like everyone left and the ones that are here...won't look me in the eyes and it drives me with fear.
But what should I expect...out of this life that i kept...so many mistakes that it doesn't fit in my head.
Every thought has its own chamber...my repressed mind unlocked, and now i can remember...every good or bad memory that I swore I'd never remember.
Hardly worked on myself and even if I did it wouldn't help....I was always so far gone and not like anyone else...all these feelings rested on a shelf...til the walls collapsed and fell...slamming me with an intensity I couldn't cope too well.
Surprised I'm still here...breathing their precious air...i shouldn't be a part of this life, this isn't fair.
No one chooses to be born, it's all a biological game...I feel like i lost the moment my mom's egg was fermented by my dad's sperm.
Nature vs nurture, maybe it's a little bit of both...I'm exhausted blaming others when the fault is my own.


author51 58F  
126059 posts
8/18/2021 7:42 am

xoxo


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