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A Modest Proposal (politics warning)  

maybejustrex4 53M
446 posts
10/2/2017 12:27 pm
A Modest Proposal (politics warning)


I am going to float a delicate concept here and I wonder what the serious thinkers on the site will make of it. It is newly formed and may be completely wrong but here it is:

In the United States, if you are mentally sound and not in the middle of a huge trauma but are still perpetually miserable and angry, it is your fault. Kindly go back and re-read the three provisos: US, mentally sound, no huge trauma. [fn1]

The problem is that we don't tell people (well, let's be honest, we don't tell men) that their misery could be their own fault. Our religions, our politicians and almost all of our media tell us that our unhappiness is someone else's fault. Useful if you want to sell something or get a vote but toxic and false otherwise.

If it's not your fault, you can shoot up gay people at a night club, or social workers at a Christmas party or people in Vegas at a music festival. If someone else is doing wrong, then you can blow up a Social Security building or bomb the sidewalk at a marathon.

Telling people (again, to be honest, telling men) in their 60's and their 20's and everywhere in between that their own constant hatred for everyone else is everyone else's fault is like an emotional participation trophy. "Nice try, you might have done better but everyone else is out to fuck you." We need a better and more accurate message.

I think we should be telling the chronically disgruntled that maybe, just maybe, the grimness in their lives is their fault. And maybe, just maybe, they should be looking a little harder at either fixing their own life or finding a better target for that first bullet.

maybejustrex4 53M

10/2/2017 12:28 pm

[fn1] There are problems here in the US and they need serious attention but there is bounty and opportunity here too and people can, and have, fixed things that were broken by dedicating themselves to solutions.


redrockrascal 61M
21595 posts
10/2/2017 1:52 pm

Religions and politicians thrive and feed off of the fear and divisiveness they peddle.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


MyNameIsKay 58F  
11814 posts
10/2/2017 3:17 pm

I agree. There is (and has been for a long time) the general consensus that our misery is not of our own making. I don't teach that to my kids, but there are a lot of messages out there that tell us that we are not our own worst enemies nor are we responsible for the mess that our lives have become. But possibly worse that is the message goes on to say that we shouldn't have to fix it. So we need take no responsibility...for how we got where we are or for how to get ourselves out of it.

Swim...Bike...Done


KtMnDu 67M
6216 posts
10/2/2017 5:43 pm

    Quoting  :

I am always interested in those who know stuff......I personally find myself clueless at times, and welcome someone who can clear things up for me.......

Perhaps you could tell me.....and the rest of us who are unclear here......what the problem is?........I suspect you have a solution in mind as well, and no doubt we would all benefit from hearing that too........Please?........

Oh, and I really hate those labels people get tagged with, so no worries there.......


pocogato12 68F  
33742 posts
10/2/2017 8:35 pm

People sometimes do not want to "fix" themselves because some one else caused the issue. Well in my book that's just bullshit. They have been given so much that they do not know what to do with they are overwhelmed and get crazy wanting more and will do anything to get it, Research food stamps ( now called EBT with which in Massachusetts they can buy just abut anything do to some loop
holes). In retail I had customers visit foul language on me because our store, which had a food dept full of goodies, not groceries, would not take EBT. So sue me. It's perpetuated by politicians at all levels no matter which party they claim to walk the plank. America is now the home of every thing is free and no one is talking

(Virtual Symposium Group) use Virtual Symposium Group


maybejustrex4 53M

10/3/2017 7:37 am

    Quoting redrockrascal:
    Religions and politicians thrive and feed off of the fear and divisiveness they peddle.
At their all too common worst, they certainly seem to. Thank you for commenting.


maybejustrex4 53M

10/3/2017 7:38 am

    Quoting MyNameIsKay:
    I agree. There is (and has been for a long time) the general consensus that our misery is not of our own making. I don't teach that to my kids, but there are a lot of messages out there that tell us that we are not our own worst enemies nor are we responsible for the mess that our lives have become. But possibly worse that is the message goes on to say that we shouldn't have to fix it. So we need take no responsibility...for how we got where we are or for how to get ourselves out of it.
Thank you for commenting. Do you ever think the whole world would be better if all took half an hour of quiet time for ourselves every day?


maybejustrex4 53M

10/3/2017 7:44 am

    Quoting  :

I disagree with you.

Poor people of different races aren't the reason why this white man in his 60s shot up the Vegas Strip nor why Timothy McVeigh blew up the Murrow building. They also aren't the reason a white boy shot up a group of middle aged black people at a bible study meeting. It also isn't the reason employed Muslim men shoot up their Christmas parties and gay night clubs.

Rampant police brutality is an issue. But it is not one that has anything to do with what we are talking about here.

Thank you for commenting and doing so civilly but I do think privileged people, not all white, who think they are unhappy because of other people and not themselves, need to do some serious introspection.


maybejustrex4 53M

10/3/2017 7:46 am

    Quoting pocogato12:
    People sometimes do not want to "fix" themselves because some one else caused the issue. Well in my book that's just bullshit. They have been given so much that they do not know what to do with they are overwhelmed and get crazy wanting more and will do anything to get it, Research food stamps ( now called EBT with which in Massachusetts they can buy just abut anything do to some loop
    holes). In retail I had customers visit foul language on me because our store, which had a food dept full of goodies, not groceries, would not take EBT. So sue me. It's perpetuated by politicians at all levels no matter which party they claim to walk the plank. America is now the home of every thing is free and no one is talking
We are talking.

Look, if you think people are abusing the safety net (and many do), support increased fraud enforcement. The government fraud folks do good work and should be supported.


maybejustrex4 53M

10/3/2017 11:15 am

    Quoting SealMyFate:
    Expectations are too high. No one can be happy all the time. Everyone does not excel at their chosen task. A dose of reality seems to unhinge folks. The sad truths, you're not special, you don't win, you will make no lasting change, etc., etc., are hard for them to get a handle on. They go ape shit.
    But, whaddafuckiknow!? My shit's as confused as theirs.

A healthy life and a dignified death are a tremendous win when you really think about it. Have we reached the point where quoting Pink Floyd is okay? From The Final Cut about about the postwar dream:

A place to stay
Enough to eat
Somewhere old heroes shuffle
Safely down the street
Where you can speak out loud
About your doubts and fears
And no one ever disappears
You never hear the standard issue
Kicking in the door
You can relax
On both sides of the tracks
And maniacs
Don't blow holes in bandsmen by remote control
And everyone has recourse to the law
And no one kills the children anymore.


MyNameIsKay 58F  
11814 posts
10/3/2017 1:27 pm

    Quoting maybejustrex4:
    Thank you for commenting. Do you ever think the whole world would be better if all took half an hour of quiet time for ourselves every day?
Not sure if you were serious...but time for reflection and meditation is always worthwhile as long as the person doing it is sincere in his/her quest to self improve. It can't be for wallowing.

Swim...Bike...Done


maybejustrex4 53M

10/4/2017 4:56 am

    Quoting MyNameIsKay:
    Not sure if you were serious...but time for reflection and meditation is always worthwhile as long as the person doing it is sincere in his/her quest to self improve. It can't be for wallowing.
Good point. And I was being serious, if a little rhetorical because I think we all obviously need to slow down and change the way we interact with the world.


wickedeasy 70F  
32438 posts
10/4/2017 10:17 am

while what you say has the ring of truth, does it alter the outcome? does it matter in the end if it is their fault, something they could potentially change if in fact they don't? and doesn't this signify in some way a deeper malaise? perhaps one that is treatable with intervention?

it begins to read almost like like a stephen king novel to me. and his opening quote would be from eliot about the hollow men.

one savage retribution for not being seen. is that what this was? attenton must be paid? i have people on my street where the same could be be said

You cannot conceive the many without the one.


maybejustrex4 53M

10/4/2017 10:34 am

    Quoting wickedeasy:
    while what you say has the ring of truth, does it alter the outcome? does it matter in the end if it is their fault, something they could potentially change if in fact they don't? and doesn't this signify in some way a deeper malaise? perhaps one that is treatable with intervention?

    it begins to read almost like like a stephen king novel to me. and his opening quote would be from eliot about the hollow men.

    one savage retribution for not being seen. is that what this was? attenton must be paid? i have people on my street where the same could be be said
Well, we might all say hello those people we all have on our street. My point though is that we all need to be demanding that people look to themselves first and more often.


TicklePlease 52F  
12784 posts
10/4/2017 4:09 pm

My point though is that we all need to be demanding that people look to themselves first and more often.

Good gracious YES!!!!!!


maybejustrex4 53M

10/4/2017 4:19 pm

    Quoting TicklePlease:
    My point though is that we all need to be demanding that people look to themselves first and more often.

    Good gracious YES!!!!!!


author51 57F  
96235 posts
10/28/2017 1:25 am

People need to take responsibility for their own actions and the choices they make yet blame others for their misery..Social media has it's pro's but con's as well.People rely on it way too much,they believe everything they read and listen to others without forming their own opinion.It makes people lazy as well.

It is their own fault and they need to own up to it...

One can never have enough JOY in their life...


maybejustrex4 53M

10/30/2017 1:20 pm

    Quoting author51:
    People need to take responsibility for their own actions and the choices they make yet blame others for their misery..Social media has it's pro's but con's as well.People rely on it way too much,they believe everything they read and listen to others without forming their own opinion.It makes people lazy as well.

    It is their own fault and they need to own up to it...
All good points. As if we weren't doing enough navel gazing BEFORE the f-book showed up.


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